Just Breathe

by Rachel Brookes

  “Oh you know, ‘I love you, Savannah,’ ‘I want you back, Savannah,’ ‘I can’t live without you, Savannah,’ blah blah blah,” I growled, rolling my eyes in the process. My eyes shot open wide as I watched in disbelief as Mr. Davenport smiled at me and arched his eyebrow knowingly.

  “I told you that you were in love with him,” Mr. Davenport declared before sauntering through the crowd and leaving me gob smacked.

  I turned on my heel and stormed through the crowd with thunder on my face, I needed strong liquor and fast. A strong hand grabbed mine and pulled me to a stop. You’ve got to be kidding me. I swung around ready to yell at whoever had stopped my mission to the bar, but I settled as my eyes landed on Tanzi standing in front of me wearing a birthday crown and a big grin.

  “I want to dance with my best friend,” she screamed in my ear over the music. I instantly relaxed when I looked at her smile; I was happy to be back with her. Laughing as she pulled me toward the dance floor, we made our way to the center just as “Only Girl (in the World)” by Rihanna pumped through the speaker system. Tanzi put her hands on my hips, grinding into me while we both laughed. No matter what was going on I knew that I could always be carefree with Tanzi. We were drunk and we were back together! I looked over Tanzi’s shoulder, my eyes landing on Tate. He was leaning against the bar and I couldn’t help but watch as he lifted his glass to his lips, taking a long sip of his Jack and Coke, his eyes never leaving mine. I turned my attention back to Tanzi and laughed as we danced together, every guy around us was watching closely. I knew it would be making Tate furious and I didn’t care one bit.

  “You are way too sexy for your own good.” Two hands snaked around my waist and I had no idea who they belonged to. I leaned back into his chest, closing my eyes and getting lost in the music. I cringed and I felt my body tense as the unknown person’s hands seductively lingered on my hips, massaging my skin through the thin material of my dress. I knew exactly what I was doing and it made me sick to the stomach. I was using this person to make Tate feel exactly like he made me feel. I wanted him to feel hurt. I wanted him to feel pain. I wanted him to know I could still get a guy if I wanted.

  “Savannah, just stop!” Tate’s voice boomed in front of me. My eyes flew open at the sound of his voice and my eyes locked onto his big blues that now flashed with fire. He was pissed, so unbelievably pissed. The mystery guy I had been using looked between us before storming off, muttering under his breath. Tate stood in front of me, his chest heaving and his eyes darkening as he looked down at me. Even though there were hundreds of people surrounding us, it felt like we were the only ones in the room. It felt like we were in silence. Without hesitation, he locked me in with a death grip with his hand as he pulled me hastily away from the dance floor and toward the dimly lit back of the bar.

  He released my hand and swung me around so I was standing in front of him when we reached the far corner, away from the dance floor but still with a view of the bar. The air was quieter but the tension was loud.

  “What the hell was that, Savannah?” Tate demanded, his eyes searching mine for answers. They were dark and intense and I knew he wasn’t happy and he had every right not to be.

  I was nervous. “What?” I questioned.

  “Are you trying to make me jealous?”

  “Did it work?”

  “I can’t see that; I can’t see another man touching you. I can’t see another man’s hands where mine should be.”

  “You don’t own me, Tate,” I yelled, frustration escaping from every single pore in my body.

  “Yeah, I don’t own you, Savannah, but you know what? You fucking own me. You have since the first time I met you. When I see you with another guy it pisses me off, and yes, I do want to fight them, but it’s because I’m in love with you.”

  “You’ve got to stop saying that!” I sighed, breaking my gaze from his. I couldn’t let him see me cracking.

  The intensity of the air surrounding us was electric; my body was coming to life by being this close to him. In the darkness I could see his face—he was torn, he looked like he was having an internal battle. My body heated as he took a step toward me and without another thought his lips smashed mine. The pressure of his mouth on mine forced me hard against the wall. His hands gripped my waist, pulling my body hard against his. I pushed my hips into his, a groan escaping from deep within his throat. This kiss was like nothing we had experienced. This was pure sensual passion and need. My hands flew up, gripping his hair as I pulled his face closer to mine. I needed him closer to me.

  Tugging my bottom lip with his teeth, he muttered my name through clenched teeth. I was breathing heavily and my heart felt like it would beat right out of my chest. My body was humming under his touch.

  “Tate.” My voice was achingly tight. “Not here.”

  Without a word he lifted me onto his hips and I wrapped my legs tightly around him and felt his bulge press against my hip. I couldn’t resist but push my body harder into him, causing him to moan against my skin. His lips never left the bare skin of my neck, and I let out a groan as his teeth nipped at the tender skin of my ear. His breath on my skin was electric. “It’s just us, Sav.”

  I dropped to my feet and backed up toward the farthest corner of the bar, not breaking eye contact with his hungry eyes. I grabbed his belt buckle and feverishly pulled his hips to mine like a woman on the edge. He moaned as his body slammed into mine and I licked my lips as I felt him begging to be released. Our lips collided in a hungered need that needed to be fed. I loved biting his bottom lip knowing that it would send him over the edge, and we would both be on our way to getting the release our bodies needed. Our breathing was hollow and I could feel his body heating under the strain of our desire as my hands travelled up the back of his shirt. “Savannah,” he moaned as my nails dug deep into his bare skin.

  My frenzied hands undid his zipper and his jeans slid over his hips and landed in a heaped pile on the floor. In a moment of hunger, his hands cupped my ass and I was lifted from my feet and slammed hard into the wall, causing the pictures above us to stutter against the plaster. His hands roamed my skin, hitching my dress to my hips, exciting every inch of me. I was aching for him. I needed him. Our kiss never broke while our hands furiously pulled apart anything holding us from each other. I heard the sound of ripping material and froze, thinking it was my dress. “It’s just your panties. I’ll take you shopping tomorrow,” Tate whispered into our kiss.

  I bit down on his shoulder as he entered me to muffle my moans brought on by the ecstasy searing through my body; the urge to scream his name almost overcame me. His thrusts were furious, deep and with intensity I had never felt. It was intoxicating. I felt the build inside of me and my body ached around him. This was a moment when both of us needed this. We couldn’t deny our pull to each other anymore. I needed him to survive. He made me feel more alive than I ever had. I felt the familiar rush as my body succumbed to him, and moments later his lips met mine as his release came.

  “Happy birthday, Tate,” I whispered against his lips, softly biting his bottom lip.

  Pulling his lips away from mine, he leaned his forehead on mine and lightly kissed the tip of my nose. “Best birthday ever.”

  Our moment was interrupted by light flooding the room. Please don’t be his mum, please don’t be his mum. I slowly shifted in Tate’s arm to look at the intruder. It would be obvious to anyone what we had been doing.

  Jack stood in front of us with hands on hips and a knowing look

  “It’s about fucking time,” Jack gloated before turning and walking toward the door. “By the way, they are about to do the cake.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  My laughter echoed through the stillness of the room that had just bared witness to mine and Tate’s indiscretions.

  “Fucking Jack,” Tate muttered against my lips. I loved that his body was still pressed firmly against me in a protective manner and his hands were still holding me up. He lowered me gently to
the ground and I took a shaky step away from him with legs still suffering the effects of our sexcapades. I knew my body was going to remind me of this for many hours to come and I couldn’t have hoped for anything more.

  My “I just had hot sex” glow was on full display, which usually I’d be proud to flaunt, but I knew that his mother and Mr. Davenport were outside waiting for us and this wasn’t something I wanted either of them to be witness to. I didn’t want to be remembered by his mom as the girl who had sex with her son in Red Velvet while she was having gin and tonic only meters away. I hastily began to fix myself up the best way I could, all the while Tate stared at me with a rousing grin on his lips. As usual, he looked gorgeous while I looked a hot mess…arsehole.

  “We better get back to the party,” I muttered, fixing my dress and running my fingers through my messy hair. “Do I look okay?” I asked shyly as I continued to fuss with the hem of my dress and fanned my face with my hand in a hopeless attempt to dim the flush that I knew was evident on my cheeks.

  “You could be wearing a sack with day-old makeup and what do you girls call it? Regrowth? And I still would say you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

  Could he be anymore frustratingly amazing? I walked toward him, my eyes never leaving him, and wrapped my arms around his waist, burying my head in his chest. Tate’s arms surrounded me and pulled me close to his warm body. I listened to his soothing heartbeat and felt him breathe in deeply. I knew at this moment as we wrapped ourselves in each other that everything was perfect.

  “Seriously, Sav, you are the best birthday present I could ever ask for. I couldn’t break my promise to you, I had to give you the time you needed but is almost wrecked me. Just you and me from now on, okay? Just us,” Tate whispered, pulling away to look at me with his arms wrapped around my waist.

  I lifted my head, leaving my chin resting on his chest and looked up at him through my mascara-covered lashes. “Will you come home with me tonight?”

  “Are you asking me to stay over, Miss Rae? Do you really want to break that rule again?” he gasped in fake shock, one of his hands leaving my waist to cover his mouth.

  “Good to see you haven’t lost any of your arsehole qualities,” I laughed. “Come on, I want cake!” I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the privacy of the room and into the craziness that was his and Tanzi’s birthday.

  Walking through the bar, Tate clutched my hand protectively and I heard him chuckle beside me as I manipulated my body so I was hiding my face in his shoulder. I knew I had a satisfied grin plastered on my face that would give away what we had just done. Tate stopped to speak with one of his bar staff and I allowed my eyes to scan the bar. I saw Jack and Tanzi in conversation with Janette near the cake and Jack winked at me and smiled like the fool he was. I knew I blushed.

  “Jack thinks he’s a comedian,” I laughed up at Tate as his conversation ended. Tate’s eyes followed mine and he swiftly gave Jack the middle finger salute.

  “I better go and do this,” he said as he leaned down and whispered into my ear. “You know how much I love being the center of attention.” He kissed my neck softly and a shiver ran down my spine. One simple gesture and I was gone. What was he doing to me?

  I couldn’t help but stare as he effortlessly strode across the room to the table where Tanzi was standing with their mom and a double-tiered cake. A smile perched on Tanzi’s lips as soon as Tate joined them and he then leaned down to talk in her ear. The relationship between those two was incredible. They were each other’s everything, and I had no problems with being second to her. It became clearer to me now that I knew about the hardships their family had suffered from such a young age. I knew Tate struggled daily with the nonexistent presence of his father, and I saw that he struggled with his thoughts of the type of man he assumed he was destined to become due to his father. Tanzi’s eyes met with mine and I could see the happiness shining through. I laughed as I saw her mouth say, It’s about time.

  “Someone is a lot happier,” Lucas said, nudging me in the side. I looked at Lucas and smiled. When Tate’s eyes landed on us, he looked happy for the first time since Lucas arrived and nodded in our direction.

  Turning my full attention to Lucas, I looked at him and grinned. “And you and Ali?”

  “I’ve never been this happy,” he said in a voice saturated with cuteness. His eyes scanned the bar for who I knew was Ali and he smiled as he watched her talking to Jack.

  A drunken rendition of “Happy Birthday” blasted through the bar and my eyes never left Tate. I sighed in happiness to see him this relaxed. He was enjoying the moment as he smiled and laughed with Tanzi, his arms around her shoulders as they swayed to the tune. I looked at his mom and my heart nearly beat out of my chest as I witnessed the most proud smile on someone’s face that I’d ever been witness to. For a family that had faced loss, they were stronger than any of them realized.

  I finally got the cake I had been longing for and by all accounts, it was delicious. I perched myself on Tate’s lap for the night and we didn’t care about anyone who was in the room. We needed to be as close as we could to each other. I was in a drunken contentment, drunk off the effect of Tate Connors, and I wasn’t ashamed to admit it. His fingers constantly grazed the skin on my bare shoulders or he would play with my hair in a way he knew I loved, and I would hear him snicker when his fingers caused a shiver to run down my spine.

  “We still need to talk about everything, okay? I want you in every sense of the word, but I have a lot of explaining to do,” he whispered to me. I watched his face as his eyes searched mine for understanding. I grabbed his hand, lightly kissing his palm and nodded.

  Ali, Lucas, Tate and I were huddled around our usual table in the cocktail area while the party continued around us and occasionally someone would come over to say happy birthday to Tanzi and Tate. I relaxed into Tate’s chest and watched the night unfold around me.

  “Lucas, we should go surfing tomorrow. I’ll show you my secret break if you want,” Tate said softly. I turned to him with wide eyes. He was conversing with Lucas and there was no hint of hatred in his voice.

  “Uh, yeah, that would be awesome. Whereabouts is it?”

  “About an hour down the coast. Little secret spot I found a couple years back.”

  Ali and I looked at each other shocked, amazed and proud. I knew that it wasn’t just me that Tate’s attitude about Lucas affected. Tate was Ali’s family and Lucas was her boyfriend and I knew she was torn. I turned toward Tate and looked at him.

  “You are something else, Tate. Thank you.” I leaned back into Tate’s chest in the most content state I had been in weeks.

  I sighed as I felt Tate’s lips grace the skin of my shoulder blade, instantly my body reacted and I shifted in his lap. “When do you think we can escape?” he murmured against my skin, only causing me to burrow farther into him. “Pretend you’re sick,”

  “You pretend you’re sick!” I huffed as his hand moved and rested on my hip, his fingertips drawing patterns.

  “Fine, pretend you want to ravish my hot body and do bad things to me.”

  “Tate, that wouldn’t be pretending, would it?” I smirked and turned my head to wink at him.

  “Fine, come with me.” He stood from his seat, grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd. I had to almost run to catch up with his long stride. I didn’t even have time to say goodbye to Lucas and Ali who looked at us in amusement. Tate was a man on a mission.

  We got to the table where Tate’s mom, Mr. Davenport, Jack and Tanzi were seated. Tate was clutching my hand tenderly and I sighed every time the gentleness of his thumb would brush over my skin. The conversation stopped when we arrived and Mr. Davenport gave me a smile and nodded toward Tate as he saw our joined hands.

  “Son, it’s about time you made a good woman out of this one.” Mr. Davenport held his hand out to Tate and I watched the two most important men in my life come together in a handshake.

  “I guess you ca
n stop worrying about me now,” I chuckled in Mr. Davenport’s direction.

  “I’ll always worry about you, Sav. Worrying is what you make me do best.” He winked at me and gave me a genuine smile. I think he could see I was happy.

  “So Mom, we’re going to head out. Sav wants to ravish my body because it’s my birthday…or something like that,” Tate said with a confidence only he could pull off.

  Of all the things he could say to his mother, he chose to say that! I attempted to pick up my jaw off the floor and I stood looking at him in bewilderment. He did not just say that to his mother! I took a step away from him and glared with my hands on hips, mouth still hanging open as Jack and Tanzi chuckled behind me.

  “Tate Andrew Connors!” I shrieked in humiliation.

  “Savannah Maree Rae,” he mimicked.

  “You two are just adorable. Go home; it’s been a lovely night. Simon has offered to give me a ride.” Tate’s mom chuckled beside me as I continued to die of embarrassment. “It’s been so lovely meeting you, Sav. You make this one happier than I have ever seen him. Don’t put up with his moods though.”

  I looked at Mr. Davenport and smiled. He could be a right gentleman when he wanted to be. Tate wrapped his arm around my waist after kissing his mother goodbye and started leading me out of Red Velvet.

  “I’ll try not to interrupt this time,” I heard Jack yell from behind me. I smiled as I heard Tate mumble under his breath, this was something that neither one of us would ever live down.

  I felt my body shiver as we stepped into the cool December air. A deep yawn escaped me as I slipped beside Tate in the back of the cab. Tate slid to the middle of the seat and wrapped his arms around me in a bear hug. I was out cold within seconds.

  “Sav, come on, we’re home.” His voice was the best sound to wake up to. Sliding out of the cab, I grabbed Tate’s hand and sleepily walked into the apartment building and headed toward the lifts. Tate was unusually quiet.