Being Whitney (Book one of the Being Series): A Young Adult Novel

by Elizabeth Thompson

  “No it’s fine. You keep your sweatshirt. I will wear your long sleeves though, if that’s cool,” she said. “Of course.” She followed him over to his bag and slipped it on over her jersey.

  “Why’d he tell you not to wear it?” Jesse asked as they walked back to the group.

  “Because everyone is supposed to have their own and Leif’s the best athlete so I shouldn’t take his,” Whitney said.

  “He is such a dick!” Jesse said just as they reached the group.

  Eva finished third, which Whitney found quite entertaining and Leif’s race followed. She cheered loudly for him, as she felt a girlfriend should, and the whole team celebrated when he won easily. As she cheered from the far end of the track she watched Eva run up to Leif and gave him a huge hug. Everley, Brynley, Ivy and Jesse all looked to her to see her reaction. She tried to pretend it wasn’t a big deal but inside she was furious.

  “Are you and Leif still dating?” Will asked.

  “YES!” Whitney, Everley and Brynley all said at the same time.

  “Sorry, it just-“

  “Shut-up Will!” Everley said pushing him onto the track.

  Whitney stood quietly with the crew as they cheered on the rest of their team. There were only a few events left, which she was beyond grateful for. Eventually Leif made his way over to the tent. Whitney watched him all the way. When he found his sweatshirt on his bag he glanced over to her and she looked away quickly, but before she knew it he was at her side.

  He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Are you a secret track shark?” he asked.

  “What?”

  “That run,” he said smiling at her, “that was not a run of someone who hasn’t done track before.”

  “Actually it was,” she said smiling back.

  Lief shook his head playfully. “Just another thing you’re amazing at,” he whispered into her ear broadening her smile.

  “You just owned everyone here,” she said.

  “It’s kinda a weak field, but my time wasn’t too bad,” he said. “Um, did you decide you were too good to wear my sweatshirt?” he asked. The smile disappeared from her face as everyone around her perked up waiting for her answer.

  “I just figured you’d need it,” she said. Jesse and Everley both shot her looks.

  “Why are they looking at you like you’re lying?” he asked jokingly. “Did you do something to it?”

  “No. I had it on, realized you’d probably want it, found a long sleeve so I put it back.”

  Leif looked around at the others. He wasn’t convinced.

  “What’s the real story?” he asked, losing his playfulness.

  “Dad told her she had to take it off,” Ivy said bluntly. Leif looked slowly from her and back to Whitney.

  “It’s not a big deal,” Whitney said, but Leif was already storming towards his dad.

  She didn’t talk to Leif again until they were about ten minutes from home. Coach announced for kids to call their rides and when she grabbed her phone to do so she found two new messages from Leif.

  I can give you a ride home.

  If you want.

  Are you sure? She text back.

  Yeah. I’d like to.

  She filed off the bus with everyone else and stood with the masses waiting for rides until Leif found her.

  “You ready?”

  “Yeah,” she said following him to his car. They climbed in and he was out of the parking lot before she had her seat belt on.

  “What did my dad say to you?” he asked after a second.

  “Just that everyone was supposed to have their own sweatshirts so that everyone could stay warm for their races and I shouldn’t take yours because then you can’t stay warm.”

  “That asshole!” Leif said as he sped down the country roads. Whitney cowered slightly in her seat. She didn’t know this Leif and she didn’t particularly like him.

  “I’m really sorry he did that to you,” he said finally.

  “It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not okay. I can date whomever I want and if she wants to wear my sweatshirt she can. My life is not his life.” Leif was talking more to himself than to Whitney, but Whitney could read between the lines. Whitney played with the drawstrings on her sweatshirt, which she’d found on the bus seat when they got back on, understanding now why this was better before everyone knew.

  Leif pulled off the road right after her driveway and put his car in park. It was the exact spot where they’d talked before the North game. Where he’d first touched her.

  “I’m a mess Whitney and I’m so sorry you’re being dragged into it,” he said.

  Whitney stared at their hands, interlocked between them, so confused.

  “I’d rather be in your mess than not with you at all,” she said and she knew it was true.

  “I need you to know that I like you.”

  “I like you too,” Whitney said worried about where this would go.

  “Good,” he said before looking away.

  “And nothing happened last weekend. My dad's being crazy and wouldn't let me do anything. I honestly worked with him all day and then sat in my room alone all night. I think I saw Eva once all day.”

  Whitney nodded. “It's just that I'd invited the girls over and they all said they couldn't but then they were all at your house. I just can't seem to win around here, on or off the court.”

  “Ugh! I hate my dad!” Leif said throwing his head agains the steering wheel.

  Whitney watched him, his pain dulling her own.

  Finally he turned and smiled at her.

  “Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?”

  Whitney blushed. She tried to look away but his hand caught her chin and her breath caught in her throat. With two fingers he guided it back towards him letting his fingers linger on her jawline before tracing her lips, gently. She knew she should be mad at him. She knew she questioned everything between them, but in that moment, with one hand tangled in his and his fingers, ever so softly pulling her lips apart, she didn’t care. She didn’t care about anything except feeling his lips on hers again. She reached out and touched his cheek. As she brushed her hand over his mouth he kissed it gently sending shivers through her even though the car heater, and her unrestrained breathing, were keeping things nice and toasty.

  “Whitney,” he started as she pulled him towards her. She put one finger in front of his mouth to stop him. They didn’t need to talk right now. That would ruin this, and this was very good. She put down her finger and pressed her lips against his. Letting his touch fill her with the strength she needed.

  She grew dizzy in the nothingness that remained between them. She knew nothing but the passion pulsing through her every vein, which she could feel pulsing through his.

  He placed his hand on her side, proceeding underneath her sweatshirt and she stopped breathing. His hand searched up her side and across the small of her back following the curves of her body.

  He pulled away from her enough to whisper, “I think I may agree with my father for once. You should not be wearing a sweatshirt.” She smiled at his implication and even more as he left little stings of a kiss along her jawline working his way back towards her mouth. Her head tilted back and allowed him to kiss her chin first, and then her neck, slowly.

  Her hand found the hem of his shirt and she pushed it up, feeling his abs directly against her hand.

  “You are so much trouble,” he said before kissing her again on the lips.

  “I’m an angel,” she said, laughing at herself. His hand on her back pulled her towards him and into his suspicious look. She dissolved within his grasp, kissing him wildly yet again.

  There may have been no end to the untamed abandonment had it not been for Whitney’s phone going off. They both heard it and returned slowly to earth, letting their hands linger on each other until the last possible moment.

  “I should get home. I’ll be in enough trouble as it is,” Leif said checking the time.

>   “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have brought me if it is going to get you into trouble,” Whitney said.

  “I needed this Whitney. This will be worth whatever trouble I get in,” he said smiling.

  “I needed it too,” she said quietly.

  ◆◆◆

  Whitney went to bed in a dreamland of Leif and woke up in reality, and late. Wednesday was day one of official finals, meaning Whitney only attended 1-3 periods. She’d agreed to an early morning math study session with a bunch of kids form her class, including Leif and Everley, yet now she only had thirty minutes until it started. She rushed around in a frenzy arriving at the bottom of the stairs with ten minutes to get to school.

  Her mom drove as she finished putting on her makeup and braiding her hair. She was definitely not going to win any beauty pageants today. Leif climbed out of his car when he saw Whitney’s mom pull in.

  “Were you waiting for me?” she asked.

  “Maybe….” He said.

  “You didn’t have to-“

  “I wanted to.” Leif wrapped his arms around Whitney and hugged her tight against him. She let herself sink into his whole being. He kissed the top of her head before letting her go. She grabbed his hand and started them towards the library.

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  “Yeah,” he said. “Just missed you.”

  “I saw you less than nine hours ago,” Whitney said.

  “You’re like a drug Whit. The more I get, the more I want.” Whitney giggled and pulled him into their study group.

  Finals creeped by and eventually gave way to practice.

  Whitney knew her dream world would come crashing to a halt after school and she was right. When she arrived at the track Eva was using Leif to balance as she stretched. One hand rested on his shoulder while the other held her foot up against her butt. She bent towards him while she chatted incessantly putting her too-exposed chest way too close to his face. All of the insecurities filled Whitney’s head again. She remembered why she’d been mad at him. Why she’d doubted him. And she was mad at herself for making out with him last night.

  Brynley came up beside her and immediately saw what Whitney was looking at.

  “She’s just doing it to piss you off,” Brynley said as they sat down to stretch.

  “Well it’s working,” Whitney said. Eva had switched legs and feigned loosing balance so she had to grab Leif’s arm. Whitney wanted to kill her.

  “What’s going on with you two? Did you talk last night?”

  Whitney felt the grin creep across her face as she remembered last night.

  “Whitney!” Brynley exclaimed when she noticed. “What did you do?”

  “Nothing like that!” Whitney said, aware of where Brynley would take it. “He drove me home. We talked a little. We kissed a lot.”

  Brynley’s eyes lit up. “Like make-out kiss?” she said quietly.

  Whitney nodded and Brynley freaked. “We kept our clothes on. It was just in his car.” Whitney tried to downplay it, but she couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. Brynley couldn’t either.

  “What’d he say about his dad?” she asked a few minutes later.

  “Not much. That he’s an ass. And while he didn’t say it, he basically said that his dad hates me and doesn't want me around either of his children.” Whitney sighed. She knew this would be difficult if his dad was against it. She knew the pull he had.

  Brynley nodded slowly, “I can’t say I didn’t see that coming.”

  “He doesn’t even know me,” Whitney said.

  “He knows that you’re not from here, that you’ll want more than this, that you’ll encourage Leif to want more than this and that’s enough for him,” Brynley said.

  Whitney watched Leif and Eva chatting casually with John feeling the hopelessness wash over her once more.

  ◆◆◆

  What are you doing for spring break? Leif text her late that evening.

  Going to see my dad. You? She was trying to forget she’d be on a plane to California to spend the whole week with her dad in just three days.

  We are taking a family trip with some other people to a resort place in Eastern Oregon. I’m not excited. My dad will make me run 24-7. And you won’t be there. Whitney appreciated the last part but couldn’t shake the ‘other people’ part of his comment.

  By other people do you mean Eva’s family? She waited anxiously for the answer.

  Not my choice by any means, but yeah. Whitney didn’t even know what to say. She’d be in California with her sister while Leif was at a resort in Eastern Oregon running, and laughing with Eva.

  Cool.

  It isn’t like that Whit. I don’t like her. I won’t be hanging out with her. Our parents are friends so they always plan this stuff together.

  I know. It’s cool. You’ll have fun. She did know. She was getting to know even more every day. But it wasn’t cool. Not in any way.

  I’m gonna go to sleep, she said.

  Okay. Good night.

  Night.

  “Leif is going to spring break with Eva’s family,” Whitney said to Everley as soon as she saw her Thursday morning.

  “Yeah,” Everley said. “I know. They always do. I’m going with them.”

  “What?” Whitney asked. “And, am I supposed to be okay with them being there together all week?”

  “I don’t know if you have a choice. He doesn’t have a choice to go so if you’re going to date him you’ll just have to trust him.” Everley was always the logical one. Ivy appeared beside them with a juice box in hand. Everley and Whitney stopped talking and they all walked to class in silence.

  ◆◆◆

  Thursday was finals for just fourth and fifth period, so Whitney didn’t see Leif. They were both leaving Friday for spring break so she lingered again after practice, but eventually gave up and called her mom. Whitney barely made it to her bed before the tears started again. She buried her face in her pillow and screamed; frustrated with the sad confusion making a home in her chest.

  The tears had began drying when Whitney heard the gravel crunching under tires outside. Her confusion switched immediately to fear when she peaked out of her window to find Leif’s car in the driveway. She rushed to the bathroom attempting to cover the signs of her pain. When she got back to her room she found him standing inside the door.

  “Your mom said I could come up.”

  Whitney nodded. “What’s up?”

  “I wanted to see you before you leave tomorrow.”

  “Aren’t you going to get into trouble?” she asked.

  “Probably.” Leif ran his hand through his hair. “What’s he going to do though? Make me spend a week with the family, without you?”

  “With Eva,” Whitney said.

  “I don’t have a choice Whit. I’m not going to hang out with her,” Leif said crossing the space and pulling Whitney into his arms.

  Whitney took a deep breath against his chest, hoping he was right.

  “Do you want to go for a walk?” Leif asked after a second.

  “Now? It’s late and dark and cold.”

  “It’s a beautiful night out there and we can bundle up.”

  Whitney threw on an extra sweatshirt and her tennis shoes before lacing her fingers in Leif’s and letting him lead her downstairs. He grabbed a blanket from the porch and they headed into the darkness.

  “What are we doing?” Whitney asked as Leif lead them towards the fields behind her house.

  “Going for a walk.”

  “We aren’t supposed to go beyond the fences,” Whitney said hesitantly as Leif climbed through a barbed wire fence before grabbing it between the barbs and holding it up for Whitney to do the same.

  “Says who?”

  “My mom. This is trespassing.”

  Leif giggled and Whitney knew his eyes were dancing in a pool of bright blue even though she couldn’t see them in the dark.

  “Don’t worry. I know the people who own this land,” Leif said.r />
  “You guys still own this?” Whitney asked climbing through behind him.

  “Yep. I spent half of last summer farming these fields and eyeing that pool. I’m pretty pumped to have an in this year.”

  Whitney’s heart fell. “I probably won’t be here for most of the summer.”

  “What?” Leif asked stopping momentarily.

  “My dad has me all set up to play on the same traveling team I’ve been on for years. I’ll start practices with them three days after school gets out and play through mid-August.”

  Leif spread the blanket on the ground and then motioned for her to sit. His eyes never left her and she could feel him pulling the truth out of her like a bucket of water from a well.

  “Is that what you want to do?”

  Whitney shrugged.

  “You could stay here and play on the summer team with our girls. I’m sure the work would really help out your chemistry.”

  Whitney laid back and stared at the millions of stars filling the country sky; so clear and certain against the navy backdrop.

  “But that wouldn’t be good enough for your dad. Would it?”

  “He just wants me to be the best I can be so I can get a scholarship and be successful,” Whitney said quietly.

  “What do you want Whit?” Leif asked lying down and propping his head on his hand, positioning his blue eyes right above her hazel ones.

  Whitney shrugged, focused on the stars above him to keep from crying.

  He leaned down and kissed her gently on her small button nose just as a tear escaped. “Yes you do,” he said gently.

  “I want to be good,” Whitney finally said against letting it escape in a drip, which became a river. “I want him to be proud of me. I want to have friends. I want to fit in. I want people to stop hating me for where I came from. I just want to find a place to be me. I want to figure out how to be me.”

  Leif lay down and swept his arm under Whitney, pulling her against his chest.

  “You are good. You are so very good Whit and he needs to realize that. You need to realize that. And the fact that he doesn’t is not your fault. And I’m sorry this town is so horrible. You don’t deserve any of it, but there are people who really like you here. You’re not alone.”