Self-Care for Empaths

by Tanya Carroll Richardson

  Wrap Yourself in an Energy Blanket

  An energy blanket is the ideal empath accessory, whether the weather outside is warm or cold. The following meditation is one you can do in the morning before you get dressed or leave the house, or anytime you want to prepare your energy to go out and meet the world in a balanced way—like before a big work meeting.

  1. Sit in a comfortable position in a quiet spot and close your eyes. Feel the energy around certain parts of your body, like your hands and feet, starting to come alive. You might feel gentle pressure around those areas. Your energy body is saying hello!

  2. Visualize a blanket being woven around you. Observe the textures of the wool or the brilliant sparkle of the thread. Your energy blanket might look like a favorite blanket you own.

  3. Once your blanket has been magically woven, visualize it wrapping you up loosely. Picture it draping over your shoulders and covering your physical body but not in a tight or restrictive way. Notice how your comfortable blanket is big and generous, yet weighs nothing.

  4. Feel your blanket on your skin—soft and soothing. Do you notice any other physical sensations like temperature changes, tingling, or chills? Notice how your blanket feels to your energy body. Do you feel a gentle energy pressure or forcefield around you?

  5. Sit for a few minutes wrapped up in this snuggly, safe, and relaxing energy blanket. When you’re ready, slowly come out of the meditation—but keep your energy blanket on.

  As you go about your day, remember your energy blanket is still wrap-ped around you—real yet invisible. Your inner experience is everything!

  QUIZ: Are You Giving Back and Being of Service?

  Though it might seem incongruous, part of caring for yourself involves caring for others and being of larger service to the world. It is like a gift you give away, but when it’s done in a balanced way, you receive bountiful benefits—in the amazing connection you feel to the world. It’s been the great privilege of my life to work with clients one-on-one. The heartfelt thank-yous I receive from them surpass any other emotional experience I’ve had. Compassionate empaths feel more in harmony with life, and happier, when they are aligned with their purpose. Being aligned with your purpose isn’t necessarily about your job title or your duties, but the purpose behind what you bring to others in anything you do.

  Answer the prompts with almost always, sometimes, or rarely:

  ________ I know what my soul gifts are, or what, in a general sense, I’m uniquely designed to contribute to the world.

  ________ I feel like I live my purpose each day, and most days I’m excited or content about what I’m doing in the world.

  ________ I can state my purpose in simple terms, like teach, guide, provide, caretake, oversee, heal, nurture, assist, enhance, beautify, communicate, interpret, protect, analyze, build, create, innovate, and lead.

  ________ Whatever job I’m in, or whatever role I’m playing, it’s often in the back of my mind to be a positive influence in the world.

  ________ There are things I do on a regular basis—like donating, volunteering, or advocating—and lifestyle choices I make to help people, animals, or the planet.

  ________ I’m passionate about making the world a better place, and there are practical ways I do my part.

  ________ The way I show up in the world for others makes me feel deep joy, peace, or gratitude.

  ________ In my daily life—at work, with my family and friends, in the larger world—I feel very connected to my heart.

  ________ When I give to others, I’m able to receive compliments, compensation, and thank-yous with gratitude, presence, and humility.

  ________ I don’t believe I’m more special or more important than anyone else. But I know I matter, I’m worthy, and I’m needed.

  ________ When I’m thinking too much about what I’m getting out of something, and losing touch with service, I feel off-balance.

  ________ I’ve found a way to help others and get my own needs met financially and emotionally.

  ________ I feel part of something greater than myself, connected to a larger humanity or connected to the living earth.

  If most of these statements resonated as almost always or sometimes in your life right now, I’m so happy for you! If they didn’t, don’t judge yourself. You might have over-given and not taken enough care of yourself, and you might be in burnout. Or you might just be dealing with very challenging life circumstances and have a limited capacity to give right now. Concentrate on giving to yourself until your reserves are full enough to give more to others again. Sometimes we can simply lose touch with ideas like being of service and acting as a positive force in the world. If that’s the case for you, devote yourself to interacting more harmoniously with the world so you can spread the good vibes and then feel them come back to you like a boomerang of love.

  Align with Squirrel Energy for Financial Wellness

  Squirrels? Yes! Those furry little creatures are masters at managing survival resources. Some empaths struggle with financial wellness because they can be too concerned with how their financial decisions affect others emotionally. For example, if an empath’s spouse proposes quitting their job to follow their dream, the empath might want their spouse feeling happier—at any cost—so the emotional climate of the home is pleasant. The empath may put too much emphasis on people-pleasing and not enough on looking at the practical financial repercussions. Aligning with squirrel energy helps you be more strategic, and less emotional, about your financial resources. Finding this balance will help your mind, body, spirit, and bank account, stay more in harmony. Here are tips.

  1. Remember that abundance can be seasonal. Squirrels know that in the fall there are lots of nuts, but winter brings slim pickings. Life is cyclical, so plan for financial fluctuations.

  2. Diversify! Squirrels don’t stockpile their resources in one spot—they store nuts in several spots! Speak to a financial planner about diversifying your resources or stream of income.

  3. Plan ahead, but enjoy today too. Mimic the way squirrels meet their daily needs: eating some nuts immediately and stashing others. Squirrel energy isn’t about hoarding, which can negatively affect financial flow in an energetic sense. Enjoy each day.

  4. Practice healthy selfishness with healthy habits. Squirrels are in the habit of preparing for the future, and you can do the same by setting up automatic savings plans and sticking to a budget.

  Make the screensaver on your phone or computer an image of a cute squirrel for inspiration!

  Journal for Signs and Synchronicities

  The universe—or God, the Goddess, Source, Spirit, your guides, your higher self—is always sending you helpful guidance. Recognizing these synchronicities, and receiving even more signs from the universe, is simpler than you might guess. This mystical manifestation process looks like:

  • Asking for signs and synchronicities.

  • Observing life to see what shows up.

  • Acting on the guidance you receive.

  Psychologist, psychiatrist, and scholar Carl Jung defined synchronicity as “a meaningful coincidence.” For example, you might be pondering hiring an accountant to help you file your complicated taxes this year and ask the universe for a sign. The next day at the office you ask a coworker to lunch, and he says, “Oh, I can’t today—I have a meeting with my accountant. She’s a lifesaver!” This might be what Jung described as a meaningful coincidence—guidance from the universe to pay attention to! After you observe this, you might take action by asking your coworker for his accountant’s contact information. How does the magic of synchronicity work? Everyone and everything is connected. Synchronicities could show up as:

  • Well-timed opportunities.

  • Musical messages you encounter on the radio or in a store.

  • Helpful people, information, or resources coming into your life.

  • Numbers and number sequences appearing on receipts, addresses, or email time stamps.

  • Animals and natu
re.

  • The wise or resonating words of others, which can even include overheard conversations in line or on the street.

  The following journal exercise will help you learn to ask for and recognize more guidance from the universe.

  1. Get out your journal and write a few sentences thanking the universe (or Spirit or your guides, etc.) for something you’re grateful for. It could be as basic as shelter, or it might be celebrating a recent big win. Feel the gratitude permeate your energy—an authentically grateful energy is an ideal place to manifest from!

  2. Now ask the universe for what you need help with—this is an issue you’re wanting some synchronicities about. Write a few sentences on this as well.

  3. Close your journal and go about your days normally for the next week. Stay present in the moment as often as you can, observing your world for signs. How can you discern genuine guidance from wishful thinking? As an empath, you have a heightened ability to “feel” guidance. When a possible sign appears, in any form, notice if your energy shifts. Does time seem to slow down? Does the moment feel pregnant with meaning? Do you experience any energetic or even physical changes? Do you return to thoughts about this sign continually throughout the day? Pay special attention to repetitive signs.

  4. Consider taking action. Always run any intuitive guidance you receive through your head, your heart, and your filters of common sense and past experiences in the world. Speak to loved ones and consult experts for help on deciding when and how to act.

  Engaging more mindfully with synchronicity is a way to engage more with the larger world. Everything is meant to work in harmony together, and you—or something you say or do—will be a synchronicity for someone else!

  Fill Up Your Own Cup

  Empaths are often drawn to roles and professions that traditionally emphasize giving and caretaking—like parent, teacher, nurse, or counselor. Yet empaths can bring a giving, caretaking energy to any job or role. Because energy-sensitives can feel intimately the suffering of others, they can therefore be more aware of suffering and motivated to help. Empaths who love to give and take care of others are lucky enough to experience the deep joy and contentment this path brings. When giving and caretaking are done in a balanced way, the giver receives so much!

  Yet empaths must always be mindful about symptoms of burnout, which can include resentment, emotional or physical exhaustion, and pessimism. One way to avoid or heal burnout is to fill up your own cup—giving back to and nurturing yourself. This might look like having brunch with a new friend, checking out that art exhibit you’re excited about, or making time to go to the store and get healthy, delicious ingredients for your lunches.

  This exercise helps you get clear on how full, or empty, your cup currently is.

  1. Imagine there’s a magical cup located in your heart chakra that represents all you have to give to others. Get a mental picture of this cup—is it a delicate china teacup? A sturdy ceramic mug with pretty colors and patterns? Maybe it’s a humorous mug with a silly saying written on it, or a mug with an inspirational word, like love. Let your higher self employ clairvoyance—the intuitive pathway that lets you receive guidance as mental images—to give you a picture of your cup.

  2. Check how full your cup is. Again, use your clairvoyance to peer inside. Is your cup full or three-fourths of the way full with an enchanting, sparkly liquid energy? Or is there a lot of room, showing how much you’ve given away lately? Maybe there’s barely any sparkly magic energy inside. If your cup is half full or almost empty, shift gears and start emphasizing giving back to yourself.

  3. Keep a mental list or a list in your journal of activities that fill your cup. Mine would include walking in the wooded greenbelt by my house, having phone dates with close friends who live far away, taking my time preparing healthy and delicious dinners, hanging out in person with loved ones, listening to podcasts where I learn something new or am reminded of something important, watching or reading a great story, tidying up and beautifying my home, getting lost in a fun creative project, dressing up, and sending care packages to people I love. Your cup is unique, and the way you fill it will be too!

  One way to refill your own cup is to keep a close eye on your commitments. When considering if you should say yes to something, you might ask the other person for time to think, go somewhere private, and quickly close your eyes to picture your cup and how much energy you have to offer.

  Surf the Changing Energies of the Zodiac Cycle

  Astrology is an incredibly complex and fascinating subject. Each human has a very dynamic and intricate birth chart, and the planets are always moving in and out of different astrological cycles. As the sun moves into different signs throughout the year, everyone—regardless of their own personal chart or birthday—is affected by this astrological energy. For an astrology scholar, the zodiac sign the sun is currently inhabiting is just one piece of an amazing heavenly puzzle. However, we all know how essential and influential the sun’s energy is to life here on Earth. The following are ways for energy-sensitive empaths to ride its waves of light and live more harmoniously with the heavens throughout the year:

  • Aries (March 21–April 19): Be bold! Take healthy risks and be action oriented during the spring fever weeks.

  • Taurus (April 20–May 20): Enjoy sensual pleasures/comforts, and emphasize stability.

  • Gemini (May 21–June 20): Get intellectually curious, express yourself, and avoid boredom.

  • Cancer (June 21–July 22): Cozy up your home, nest, and journal about your feelings.

  • Leo (July 23–August 22): Put yourself out there and shine! Be generous with others and start a creative project.

  • Virgo (August 23–September 22): Book a session with a healer, clean up your diet, and organize the details of your life.

  • Libra (September 23–October 22): Bond with friends and family, emphasize balance, and look at life from other people’s perspectives.

  • Scorpio (October 23–November 21): Fire up the romance and do some deep inner healing work.

  • Sagittarius (November 22–December 21): Travel, study another culture, explore spirituality, and be philosophical.

  • Capricorn (December 22–January 19): Get down to business and get stuff done! Make practical, steady progress on your goals.

  • Aquarius (January 20–February 18): Donate to a worthy cause and define your activism.

  • Pisces (February 19–March 20): Be extra compassionate with yourself and others. Honor your connection to everyone and everything.

  Numerology and astrology can be complementary mystical studies. I’m writing this book in 2020, which is a universal year of 4—that’s a number that relates to earthly stability, order, effort, and laying solid foundations for the future. I’m hoping this book helps you have more earthly stability via a solid foundation of empath self-care!

  Welcome Mercury Retrograde’s Review Process

  I recently informed a group of friends that it was Mercury retrograde—one rolled her eyes and sighed; another asked, “When is it over?”; and one friend simply exclaimed, “Aw, damn!” and walked away! The conventional wisdom about Mercury retrograde is pretty depressing—expect delays and miscommunications and don’t make major decisions. But what’s really going on during this astrological cycle?

  A few times a year the planet Mercury appears to be moving backward in the sky. From an astrological angle, this signals an invitation for us on Earth to slow down, or go back and review, reflect, and revise. Mercury retrograde lasts for a few weeks and also has important preretrograde and postretrograde phases.

  Empath and spiritual teacher Robert Ohotto suggests we each determine our personal Mercury retrograde message (after all, this planet is named after a Roman god who was a messenger). This message often catches your blind side, enabling you to improve and bringing into the light something you needed to work on or look at but were possibly unaware of before this cycle began.

  Here are some techniques t
o help clarify your Mercury retrograde message.

  1. Observe what shows up in your life during this cycle. Has an event happened that caused you to have a big revelation about yourself, someone else, or the world, like an issue you need to work on or acknowledge?

  2. Notice anything secret, or previously hidden, coming to light. Even when these revelations are positive or pleasing, they are often still shocking. Perhaps it’s even a buried emotion in yourself surfacing.

  3. Keep a journal of the big synchronicities you experience during this cycle, then go back and see if you discern a pattern.

  4. Find out which zodiac sign is influencing each Mercury retrograde. Visit your favorite astrology site to learn which sign, or signs, is currently affecting Mercury retrograde. Watch for themes in your life that coincide with the distinct energy of that zodiac sign.

  Instead of dreading this cycle, use these techniques to make the most of the next Mercury retrograde. Facing issues you weren’t aware of or weren’t acknowledging but need to prioritize helps you achieve more balance in your life.

  Growth can be painful—having things you need to work on or look at come front and center is never easy. Yet empaths often enjoy doing reflective inner work, and a few times every year the heavens give you the ideal opportunity with Mercury retrograde.

  Practice Mindful Heartache with the News Cycle

  Sometimes energy-sensitive empaths can “feel” devastating events—or waves of grief and fear from people, plants, and animals involved—even when they are not paying attention to the news cycle. Resist the temptation to completely ignore the news, though. Keeping up with current events helps you catch good news, offer your support when possible, and practice something called mindful heartache. This is a special term I heard empath and Good Vibe Tribe School founder Tess Whitehurst use to describe a practice I believe in strongly. Mindful heartache, or allowing your empath heart to mindfully feel in to the pain and suffering in the larger world, can: