Risk

by Marissa Holan

  "You have such a beautiful family," the woman said with a sweet smile.

  I dropped my eyes and winced, hoping Caden wasn't embarrassed. He squeezed my knee under the table reassuringly, turned to the elderly couple and politely replied, "Thank you."

  My head shot up and I looked at him. He gave me a sympathetic smile.

  "You don't have to do that, Caden," I said after the elderly couple had walked away.

  "It's not a big deal. that kind of stuff is bound to happen when you're friends with a mom." I put my hand over his and squeezed in appreciation.

  I was exhausted on the drive back and it was only 2 o'clock. I wasn't the only one; Jack was passed out in the back seat. When we pulled up to my apartment, Caden expertly unbuckled Jack from his seat and carried him into his bedroom without waking him up. He tucked the stuffed bear under Jack's arm and pulled the covers over him. He closed Jack's door and walked quietly into the living room.

  "Are you sure you don't have kids?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

  "None that I know of." He chuckled as he crashed on the couch. "Who knew a trip to the zoo could be so tiring?"

  "Tell me about it." I yawned as I sat next to him on the couch and pulled my legs under me. I reached for the remote and handed it to Caden. He took it and started flipping through channels. My eyes were getting heavy and I could feel myself drifting off. Caden must have noticed too because he tugged me gently onto his chest and pulled the blanket that was lying across the arm of the couch over me.

  "Shhh." He brushed my hair away from my face as I drifted off.

  I must have been more tired than I thought because when I woke up I was by myself in the living room and the window in the kitchen revealed that it was dark outside. I rubbed my eyes and looked around. The clock told me it was 7 p.m. what? I slept for five hours? Jack didn't wake me up so I figured he was still sleeping. I peeled the blanket off of me and stood up to stretch. I walked down the hall to Jack's room to check on him. I found Jack and Caden sitting on the ground playing with Jack's Hotwheels collection. I leaned against the door frame and smiled at the two boys on the floor.

  "You should have woken me up," I said, still smiling.

  Caden looked up as if he hadn't noticed I'd opened the door. "There she is." He smiled back at me. "It looked like you needed to sleep. Besides, Jack and I had some pressing business to attend to," he said in all seriousness.

  "Is that so?"

  "Absolutely." He held up both hands with toys in each. "Race car," he motioned to one hand, "or jet plane," he motioned to the other.

  "Race car!" Jack insisted, smiling up at me.

  "The debate is still in progress," Caden said with a wink. My heart warmed. Seeing how Caden interacted with Jack sent feelings fluttering through me that friends should not feel. I ignored the dull ache in my chest and motioned for Caden to join me in the living room. He arched a brow and stood up.

  "Lizzy will be here in an hour," I said as I walked down the hall and back into the living room. "You're welcome to stay," I added so he didn't think I was kicking him out.

  "Ah…I better not." He winced.

  Now it was my turn to arch a brow.

  "Elizabeth isn't my biggest fan," he explained with a sheepish grin.

  "Elizabeth?" The use of her full name made me realize they must have known each other. Caden shifted uncomfortably. "Lizzy said you two didn't…"

  "No, no…we didn't," he said emphatically. "I think she may have had some friends that I—" He winced again.

  "You know what?" I interrupted, cringing, "I don't want to know."

  Caden relaxed immediately. I rolled my eyes as I picked up the couch blanket and started folding it.

  "Well if you and I are going to be friends, I think you and Lizzy are going to have to make nice," I said, setting the blanket back on the arm of the couch. Caden started to protest but I held up my hand to silence him. "She's my best friend, Caden," I said simply.

  He sighed, knowing there was no getting around it. "I'll try."

  "Good." I smiled up at him. "'Cause I think I kinda like being your friend."

  He pulled me into a hug; I wrapped my arms around his waist and inhaled his delicious scent as he rested his chin on my head. "I kinda like it too, Kit," he whispered in my hair.

  I closed my eyes, savoring the closeness; wishing it could be more, trying to forget the fact that it never could be.

  Caden put Jack's booster seat back in my car before he left. I tried to talk him into staying and working it out with Lizzy, but he insisted it'd be better to do it at a later date. I called him a coward as I gave him a hug goodbye and thanked him for the tenth time for an awesome day. About twenty minutes later, Lizzy strode in with a knowing look on her face. I laughed as soon as I saw her. She set some grocery bags in the kitchen and turned to face me with her hands on her hips.

  "What?" I asked innocently, trying to hide a smile.

  She stared me down for a good minute. "I knew it!" She shook her head.

  "Knew what?" I started unloading the groceries she brought to keep my hands busy.

  "You fell for him. You don't have to confirm or deny it. I know that look on your face."

  I turned my head to her and rolled my eyes dramatically.

  "That's ridiculous. We're just friends."

  "Sure, he's just your friend." She nodded. "A friend you're in love with!"

  "Give me a break, Lizzy. I've known the guy for a week. I think you know me better than that." I gave her a pointed look.

  "Fine, maybe you're not in love with him, but you're well on your way."

  "Well, you and I both know that's just not an option." I sighed.

  "Does he know that?" Lizzy's tone turned serious.

  "Yes. I explained very clearly that I'm not in a position to have a relationship and that I wouldn't put my son in a position to get hurt again."

  Lizzy relaxed a bit. She knew that when it came to Jack I would sacrifice anything. She resigned with a sigh. "If you say so."

  "He called you Elizabeth, by the way," I said, giving her a you-didn't-tell-me-you-knew-him look.

  "Oh, he knows me alright," she answered my accusing glare, crossing her arms defiantly. "I shared some words with him after one of the girls in my sorority came home crying. I swear half the girls there have done the Caden-Tate-walk-of-shame." She smiled mischievously. "I gave him a very detailed explanation of how I would personally make it physically impossible for him to ever procreate…or walk upright."

  I laughed remembering how much of a hurry he was to get out of here before she showed up.

  "You know what I love about you, Lizzy?"

  "Well, I can think of quite a few things. You're gonna have to narrow it down."

  I wrapped my arms around her in a big hug.

  "Everything," I said as I squeezed her.

  Lizzy was very patient as Jack told her all about his new friend Caden and how cool and nice he was. She smiled and nodded, only shooting me two dirty looks when Jack wasn't paying attention. After we got him to bed we popped in an old horror movie and curled up on the couch, each of us with a tub of ice cream and spoon in hand. She told me all about her date with a guy named Kevin and how charming and sweet he was. If I didn't know any better, I would say she was gushing a little bit. I poked and prodded for details, genuinely happy for her.

  "He wants to take me to some concert next week," she said between bites of ice cream.

  "That should be fun for you," I said encouragingly. She shrugged as if she could take it or leave it, but I saw the corner of her mouth pull up in a sneaky smile. She was excited.

  I woke up the next day less exhausted than I had expected, but still planning on vegging out the whole day since I had to start the week all over again in the morning. I took a quick shower and hopped into some baggy flannel PJ bottoms and a tank top. I didn't bother putting on makeup or doing my hair. I slipped on some super fuzzy socks and made my way to the living room. I closed all the blinds, k
icking the sun out of my apartment. I fully intended to be a hermit today. A relaxed, nothing to do, hermit.

  I snuggled up on the couch and flipped on the television, just then Jack made his way out of his room. He was rubbing his eyes as he stumbled sleepily onto the couch next to me.

  "Good morning, handsome." I kissed the top of his head.

  "Hi, Mama." He yawned. "Can Caden come play today?"

  Ah, crap. I needed to nip this in the bud quick. "No, baby, he can't. He's pretty busy." I ruffled his already messy hair. "But that's okay, cause it's just you and me today and I think we are going to be lazy today and watch movies. How does that sound?"

  He nodded his approval.

  Just then my phone buzzed on the coffee table. I reached over to pick it up and looked at the text message waiting for me.

  I have a dilemma; need a friend's opinion.

  I smiled to myself; even Caden's text voice was sexy. I typed out my reply.

  Shoot it from the hip.

  Which golden girl is hotter: Betty White or Rue Mcclanahan?

  You're weird.

  Uh, yeah…Where have U been?

  Not watching the golden girls, that's where.

  You call yourself an American, Matthews?

  I call myself awesome, Tate.

  I was actually laughing out loud at our ridiculous conversation.

  If you're so awesome answer the question.

  Betty White. Hands down.

  Atta girl. You just won me $50!

  Did he seriously bet someone fifty dollars Betty White was the hottest golden girl? I was giggling to myself when I texted him back:

  You're weird AND crazy

  Don't worry Kit…It'll grow on ya ;)

  It already was. After another twenty minutes of text message banter I plugged my phone into the charger and made my way to the kitchen to make Jack some breakfast. The rest of the day was as relaxing as I'd hoped it would be. Caden continued sending me random but hilarious text messages and Jack and I spent the day watching a Toy Story marathon. By the time I tucked myself into bed I was dreading getting up in the morning and going to work. That's when my phone buzzed for the last time that day.

  Sweet dreams. C U in the morning.

  Okay, so maybe I wasn't completely dreading the next day.

  The next couple months went by quickly. I'm sure that had to do with my new friend keeping me company at the library in between his classes. I didn't mind Caden hanging around at the library all the time. He seemed to have no trouble getting away from his initial flirtation and easing right into the friend zone, which was a relief…and also a little irritating. We joked around a lot, and on occasion I would help him study for tests on my breaks. If we weren't talking at the library we were texting at night. Even Lizzy chuckled when I read her some of his crazy messages. Eventually he began coming over to my apartment just to hang out. He would raid my fridge and watch TV while I folded my laundry and did other mundane housework. He was becoming a fixture at my place.

  Of course Lizzy made it a point to ignore him when he was there. She wouldn't budge on her distaste for him, no matter how obvious it was that we were just friends.

  One Friday afternoon at work I was organizing some shelves when I backed up and accidentally bumped into one of Caden's roommates, who reflexively grabbed my hips to keep us balanced.

  "Oh, sorry, Taylor," I said, slightly embarrassed.

  "No worries, Kitrina." He smiled politely. "Just don't tell Caden I tried to cop a feel," he joked nervously as he quickly pulled his hands to his side.

  "Oh don't be silly." I playfully nudged him. Caden had introduced me to most of his friends, and there were a few, including Taylor, who I got along with really well. It was nice to have some actual friends at this school now.

  "You laugh because you're not the one who'll end up with the taste of Caden's fist in the back of your throat," he said, still joking.

  "Oh please." I rolled my eyes, turning my attention back to my shelf.

  "Don't play dumb. You know Caden is all kinds of protective of you." His tone was conversational now as he examined the book lying on the cart beside me. "It's kind of weird, actually."

  "What do you mean?" It was true that Caden was a little protective; he pretty much told off every girl that was whispering nasty things about me, and even shoved one of his roommates for commenting on my…assets. But I never thought too much about it. He was just being big brotherly.

  "I mean, Caden's been my boy since freshman year, and I've never ever seen him hang out with a girl." He raised his eyebrows as if he was telling me some serious gossip.

  "I thought Caden was the uber slut of U of M?" I laughed.

  "Oh don't get me wrong, I've seen him with girls—a lot of girls," he clarified. "But he's never been just friends with a girl."

  I shrugged. "There's a first for everything I guess."

  "If you say so." He didn't look convinced.

  Taylor went back to his table just as Caden walked into the library from one of his classes. He smiled and nodded his head in my direction before taking a seat next to Taylor. I returned his smile and waved. Caden winked at me before turning his attention to the conversation at the table. Taylor turned his head and gave me a told-you-so smirk. I ignored it and finished organizing the shelf and counting down the minutes until I got to see my little guy.

  Chapter 4

  Sunday morning my phone buzzed on my nightstand. I opened one eye to see what time it was. Ugh, 7 a.m. I reached for my phone and answered it sleepily.

  "Hello?" I rasped.

  "Good Morning, sunshine. Did I wake you?" Caden's smooth voice practically sang.

  "That's okay, I was getting up anyway," I lied.

  "Liar." I could hear him smile on the other line. "Do you and Jack have plans today?"

  "Not that I know of." I yawned.

  "I'll be there in a half hour."

  I shot up in a panic. "A half hour? That's not even enough time for me to make it to the shower!"

  "Better hurry then." He laughed and hung up.

  I scrambled out of bed and scurried to the shower. I think I made record time getting showered and dressed. The thought of Caden seeing me in a towel mortified me. I pulled my hair up in a messy bun, threw on a pair of jeans and a slim fitting white t-shirt, and slapped on some mascara and lip gloss. That'll have to do. I huffed and walked into the living room just as there was a knock at the door. I opened it, scowling at Caden.

  "You didn't give me enough time to get ready." I pouted.

  "Shut up, you look beautiful," he practically scoffed. I rolled my eyes, hiding a smile as I gestured for him to come in.

  "Where's Jack?" he asked. "I want to see his face when I tell him what we're doing."

  "What are we doing?" I eyed him, taking in his fitted white dress shirt with his charcoal vest and matching slacks. He looked utterly mouthwatering. "I need to change, don't I?" I said frowning.

  "Doesn't matter to me." He shrugged with a wicked grin.

  "Give me five minutes," I said, rolling my eyes and heading back to my bedroom. I rifled through my closet for something to wear that wouldn't make me look like I just rolled out of bed standing next to Caden. I settled on a yellow halter top sundress with blue flowers. The bodice was fitted and the skirt was wide and flowing around my knees. I hobbled into a pair of black slingback heels and pulled my hair out of the messy bun and attempted to tame it while touching up my makeup. I walked back into the living room, cleaning out my old black clutch and muttering an apology for taking more than five minutes.

  "Wow." Caden exhaled.

  I looked up and found him staring at me. His eyes met mine and the way he looked at me sent my breathing into overdrive. It was not a very brotherly look. No guy that sexy should look at a girl that was just his friend like that. It wasn't fair.

  "Caden! Caden!" Jack came barreling around the corner, interrupting the moment, and slammed into Caden.

  "Hey, little dude." Caden
greeted Jack by picking him up and tossing him in the air like he was feather light. Jack squealed. "You ready to have some fun today?" Caden asked as he putt Jack back on the ground.

  "Yeah!" Jack shouted, turning to me. "Can we have some fun, Mama?" I laughed at his enthusiasm.

  "Um…" I looked at Caden, "I don't know, honey. Why don't we ask Caden what it is he has planned."

  Jack whirled around to Caden. "What are we gonna do?" he asked, barely hiding his anticipation.

  Caden knelt down to Jack's level. "Well I was thinking you and I could take your mom out to breakfast, and then afterward, we could go see the new spider man play."

  Caden shot his eyes in my direction, waiting for my approval. I gave him a warm smile. "Can we, Mama? Can we?" Jack bounced up and down.

  Since when was Spider Man a play? "Sounds like fun." I shrugged. "You better go get dressed." I patted his bottom.

  When we walked out of my apartment I headed toward my car to grab Jack's booster seat.

  "No need," Caden called after me before I opened my car door. "I got one in here for him."

  He could see the shock on my face and waved it away like it was no big deal. "Quit gaping at me and get in the car," he said, grinning as he picked up Jack and buckled him into the new booster seat in the massive SUV. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

  "So where are we going to breakfast and why am I wearing a dress?" I asked once we started driving.

  "Well…" He gave me a weary look that made me nervous. "My parents have a Sunday brunch every weekend," he explained nervously. "They're always asking me to attend, but I never wanted to before."

  His parents? "Your parents?" I said in a panic. "Why do you want to bring us to your parents' house? How are they going to feel about you bringing a girl and her kid over?"

  "Relax, Kit. I already told them all about you and Jack." He patted my thigh to calm me down, but it just made my heart race faster. "They're thrilled to meet you."

  "I bet," I snapped then folded my arms across my chest.