The Struggle

by Jennifer L. Armentrout

  “Thank you,” I whispered, and I meant it.

  Alex smiled and then gave me a little wave.

  Closing the door, I turned and walked past the sitting area, shuffling into the bedroom. The bed had been made and the room was neat and orderly. Thankfully there were no creepy portraits of my father or any other god in this room.

  I’m pregnant.

  “Oh gods,” I whispered.

  Stopping at the foot of the bed, I tugged up my shirt and exposed my belly. It wasn’t flat, but it had never been flat in my entire life. My stomach looked the same as it did before.

  But there was a baby in there.

  Dropping my shirt, I started to press my hand to my stomach but stopped. I turned and plopped down on the bed. Running my hands over my face, I shook my head for the hundredth time.

  How was this going to work?

  I had no idea what this meant for a demigod and a god—none whatsoever. Like, would I carry this baby for nine months? Would it come out like Seth, with a baby six-pack and the ability to control things with its mind?

  And we had Titans gunning for us—gunning for me. My heart turned over heavily as I lowered my hands to my lap. If Hyperion found out I was pregnant? God, he would . . .

  I couldn’t even let myself think about what he would do—what the other Titans would do.

  None of us were safe, and bringing a baby into this was crazy.

  Because once I got these bands off my wrists, I would have to fight the Titans. Seth wanted to kill them all, but that could have horrific consequences. We needed to entomb them, and that meant I needed to fight alongside the other demigods.

  How could I do that while being pregnant?

  How could I not fight?

  But even if I was just a mortal and didn’t have the whole Titan thing going down, I was nowhere near mentally or emotionally ready to pop out a child. I was so not mother material.

  I was only twenty.

  Seth was only twenty-two.

  We loved each other, but we hadn’t been together long and there was so much we were still trying to work out. I didn’t even know if he wanted kids.

  I didn’t even know if I wanted kids.

  Kind of late to be thinking of that now.

  A strangled-sounding laugh escaped me as I lowered my gaze to my stomach. My breath caught, and I did it. I placed my hand on my stomach. It felt normal, but . . .

  But I was pregnant.

  And this baby . . . gods, this baby wanted to be born, because I don’t think if I was mortal, or if this child was mortal, it would’ve survived everything that had happened. My fingers splayed across my lower belly. Somehow I knew that this kid was going to be strong.

  “You’re a little fighter, aren’t you?” I said to my stomach, and then I flushed beet red, because I was seriously talking to my stomach.

  My lips twitched as I lifted my gaze to the beige wall. I needed to start Googling this whole pregnancy/baby thing.

  The space in front of me suddenly warped and then, without any warning, Seth was standing there.

  Yelping, I jerked my hand away from my stomach as I nearly slid off the bed. “Holy crap!” Jumping up, I smacked him—smacked him hard on the chest. “A warning would be—”

  He caught my hand, and all I saw was a flash of golden eyes a second before he hauled me against his chest. His other arm circled my waist and then his mouth was on mine.

  Seth kissed me like he was taking his first breath of fresh air. It was deep and scorching. Sensation rushed over me, pouring into my system and pushing everything aside. Kissing Seth was like finally waking up from a deep, endless sleep, and when he lifted his mouth from mine, I made this sound I barely recognized and which caused Seth to chuckle.

  “Missed you,” he said, pressing another kiss to the corner of my lips.

  Sliding my hand to his shoulder, I rested my forehead against his. “You haven’t been gone that long.”

  His nose brushed mine. “Long enough.”

  I shivered in his arms, relieved that he was back and okay. It was strange, knowing that there were only three beings in this world that could take Seth out and still worrying about his safety. “Aiden’s okay?”

  “Of course.” Seth chuckled again. “Not like I’d leave him there.”

  Leaning back, I raised my brows.

  Seth’s grin twisted my stomach into pleasant knots. It was just so damn . . . devilish. “Ye of little faith.”

  “Uh huh.”

  His hand slid up my spine, tangling in my loose hair. “How are you feeling?”

  “Good,” I said, taking a breath. I needed to tell him about the whole pregnancy thing, but this was also important. “Find out anything?”

  “Yes.” He kissed the center of my forehead and let go. “I think you were definitely held in an area east of Houston.”

  Hope smacked through me as I sat down on the edge of the bed. “Did you find the warehouse?”

  Running a hand through his hair, he shook his head. “No, but we did find shades, and they’re definitely there because of the Titans.”

  I folded my hands in my lap. “How do you know?”

  “Turns out I’m more awesome than I previously realized.”

  “Oh really?”

  “Yep.” Still grinning that ridiculously sexy and often infuriating grin, he said, “We caught one. And it turns out that being a god means I can actually stop the shade from leaving its body. That meant we were able to get some info out of it.”

  I really didn’t want to think about how they went about that. “What did you learn?”

  A coldness settled into those deep amber eyes. “The Titans are in Texas. Or they have been.”

  Everything was bigger in Texas. A hyena-sounding giggle almost escaped.

  The shade knew of you,” he explained, and I tensed. “You said you were kept near a wooded area. Aiden and I learned there’s a place called Piney Woods not too far from there. We’re going to start scouting out areas in that location.”

  Like before, there was something just on the fringe of my subconscious that I couldn’t quite pull forward. “I feel like . . . like I’m forgetting something—something I saw. It’s right there, but I just can’t remember it.”

  “It’ll come to you.”

  I nodded as I inhaled roughly. My pulse started to pick up as I peeked up at him. Seth was going to be a dad.

  Oh my gods, I was going to be a mom.

  But he was going to be a dad.

  A really hot dad—like the kind you saw with a baby that made your ovaries go boom. Except my ovaries apparently already went boom.

  Holy crap, what was I thinking? I did not need to be thinking about him as a hot dad, because he didn’t even know he was going to become a dad. I needed to tell him.

  Anxiety rose in my chest, causing me to clasp and unclasp my hands. “This is all . . . good, though. At least we have a general idea.”

  “Right,” he replied, his eyes warming to a tawny glow as he watched me. “How did things go with the kidnapped demigod?”

  “Um, good. We got her to open the door and Deacon was going to get her some food,” I said, looking away when his gaze caught mine. “She understands that we’re here to help her. So that’s a few steps in the right direction.”

  “Cool.” Seth reached down to his hips and I saw that he had daggers. “We can head back to the island if you want.”

  We so needed to stay, at least until tomorrow—well, wait. I had no idea how safe the whole poofing thing Seth did was. I guess it was okay, because he’d done that quite a few times. “Can we hang here for a little bit? It’s safe, right?”

  Seth nodded.

  “When did you get the daggers?” I asked.

  “Made a pit stop in the weapons room before we went to Texas. I guess I really don’t need them, but they’re fun to use.”

  “Oh, that’s smart. Not the fun part, because that’s a little creepy, but the grabbing them part.” My heart was racing so
fast I thought I’d be sick. “When are you going to head back out?”

  He unhooked the daggers. “Soon. Was thinking about checking out Piney Woods tomorrow.”

  That was good, because we needed to find Mitchell. I just hoped we weren’t too late. But if Seth was going back out there tomorrow, should I tell him about the whole baby thing? He could come face to face with one of the Titans. Being distracted was the last thing he needed.

  It could be deadly.

  I sucked in a sharp breath. If Seth came face to face with a fully energized Cronus, what would happen?

  “Hey,” Seth said, drawing my gaze to his. “What’s going on?”

  Wiping my damp palms against my knees, I forced a casual shrug. “Nothing. Just got a lot on my mind.”

  Seth placed the daggers on the dresser. His hands dropped to the belt that had held them. “You sure you’re feeling okay? You’re looking a little flushed.”

  And I was feeling like I was going to laugh and cry and throw myself face-first onto the bed. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

  Unhooking the weapons belt, he draped it over the dresser and then crossed the small distance between us. “Look, you need to be honest with me if you’re feeling unwell. I need to know—I want to know.”

  Mouth dry, I shook my head and tried once more to say something, anything, but nothing came out but inaudible sounds. What was I doing? How could I not tell him? Even though I had no idea how he would react, how he would feel about this, I couldn’t keep it from him. It was too big. Too important. This involved both of us.

  This involved our future . . . if we had one.

  A frown pulled at his lips as he stood in front of me. Seth knelt, placing his hands over mine, effectively stopping me from rubbing the skin right off. “Josie,” he said, his concerned gaze searching mine. “What is going on?”

  “I . . . I have to tell you something important.”

  His brows knitted together. “Okay.”

  “I really don’t know how to tell you without just saying it.” My breath caught and it felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. “I’m pregnant.”

  Chapter 30

  Seth

  I choked out a laugh. “You’re . . . Wait, what?”

  Josie’s ocean-colored eyes were wide and her cheeks a faint pink. “I’m . . . I’m kind of pregnant. I mean, I’m not kind of pregnant. I don’t think you can be kind of pregnant.”

  The half-smile faded.

  “Alex went with me, because I honestly had no idea where to find a pregnancy test, and yeah, that was a little awkward. Anyway, turns out they don’t just sell them here. You have to go get one done. So I did the whole pee-test thing and when they get a positive response, they repeat the test. Both tests came back positive, so I’m pregnant—pregnant with your baby.” She winced. “You probably figured that last part out already. The baby being yours part.”

  My lips parted on a sharp inhale.

  “That’s why I’ve been nauseous and puking,” she continued in a rush. “I guess the bands are making me heal slower than I should be, but I don’t think they are causing the tiredness and everything else. And I didn’t think it was that—you know, me being pregnant until I realized a few days ago I hadn’t had my period.”

  Josie is . . .

  I stopped breathing as her words settled through the shocked fog that had invaded my brain. A hundred different thoughts erupted in rapid succession.

  “I thought it was just stress, but then—well, I went down to one of the infirmaries, like I said, and got the test.” She folded her hands together, pressing them against her breasts. “And yeah, it’s positive.”

  I’m fucking sure my heart stopped for several beats as I stared at her from where I was crouched. My head tilted to the side as I slowly understood what she was telling me. Josie was . . . pregnant with my child?

  A surge of unbridled emotion whirled through me, a wild mixture of acidic fear and brilliant joy—the kind of fear and joy I’d never in my life experienced. The emotions were so raw and so powerful I could barely make sense of them, could barely think around them.

  Josie’s lower lip trembled. “Please say something, because I’ve been freaking out pretty much all day, and now you’re just staring at me, not talking.”

  I hadn’t said anything? I needed to. I need to say a lot, but as I started to rise, I realized my knees were strangely weak. Like they were devoid of all muscle and bone. Somehow I lost my balance. I actually stumbled back and I went down, landing on my ass. The daggers rattled on the dresser behind me.

  “Oh my God!” Josie jumped and reached for me. “Seth!”

  Stunned that I actually fell over, I looked around the room as if there was some pint-size apparition that had just taken my legs out. Of course, there wasn’t shit. My knees had given out.

  “Seth . . .”

  Lifting my gaze to her, I finally got my tongue to work. “You’re pregnant?”

  Josie pulled back, clasping her hands together. She nodded. “Yes.” Her chest rose with a deep breath. Those beautiful eyes—eyes that were like two polished sapphires—glistened with unshed tears. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  I jerked. I mean, my entire body jolted.

  She was sorry—sorry about being pregnant with my child? My brows flew up, and for a small instant that icy terror poured into my chest. How could I be a good father? After everything that I had done—everything I would do to keep Josie safe. My hands were dirty, but they’d soon be soaked in blood. Was that why she was sorry? Because she knew I was probably the last person in the world who was fit to have and raise a child?

  But I’d give up my life for my child.

  Josie sat back down, her throat working as she squeezed her eyes shut. “I know this is a surprise. It . . . it shocked me. It had to be that one time—right when you left. We didn’t use a condom. I know we’re not ready for this, but I was hoping we . . .” Trailing off, she shook her head as she pressed the tips of her fingers to her mouth.

  Then it struck me.

  She thought I was unhappy with the news, and she had good reason to believe that, because I was sitting on the godsdamn floor like a dumbass.

  Snapping out my stupor, I flew to my feet and grasped her hands. I startled her and those damp lashes lifted. “I am not sorry,” I told her. “I could never feel sorry that you’re having my child.”

  Her eyes widened and she whispered, “What?”

  I brought her hands to my chest as I hauled her up to her feet. “I was . . . fuck, I was shocked. I was not expecting you to say that. At all. But I am not sorry.”

  Josie’s chest rose against our joined hands. “You’re not? You’re okay with me . . . with this?”

  “How could I not be okay?” I shook my head as my heart pounded a mile a minute. “Gods, Josie, I was shocked enough that I just fell over on my ass, but I love you—I will always love you. That means I will love our child.”

  I couldn’t believe I just said those two words. Our child. But the moment they left my tongue I never knew anything else could feel so right. I knew, in that moment, it was true.

  A tremble rocked her body. “But how . . . how can we do this? We’re not ready—”

  “We’ll get ready,” I told her, meaning it. Gods knew she was right. We were the furthest thing from ready, but we would get there. “I don’t have a doubt in my mind that you’d make—” My voice thickened and became hoarse with emotion. “—you will make a