Never Look Back (Counting Stars Book 1)

by Trish Williford

  “I’m learning that. Okay, so tell me about you and Collin!”

  She giggled and bounced in her seat. “He asked me to walk with him on the beach the night we got there. There wasn’t anyone on the beach, and he grabbed my hand and we walked for a while in silence. I almost peed my pants, honestly, I thought I was dreaming! He stopped and grabbed my other hand and stood in front of me. He said that he’s been in love with me for a long time, and he couldn’t hold it in anymore. He said that he was willing to take the chance and see if I felt the same. I laughed at him, I mean really? Is he blind? Did he forget about Cancun? Anyways, I told him I had been in love for a while. He kissed me, and I swear Kelsey, I saw fireworks. It was the best kiss of all kisses. Then for the rest of the week we had lots and lots of sex. I know, TMI. Everything was much more romantic than I’m making it out to be, but I’m just giving you the abbreviated, PG-13 version.” She giggled.

  I laughed along, knowing she was so happy. Ryleigh is completely glowing, and it’s definitely not from her tan.

  After the short drive home, we walked into our condo complex and Richard, the security guard, stopped us before going up.

  “Miss Franklin, you had a delivery while you were out.” He said, putting a vase of flowers on the top of the desk. I walked over to the large bouquet of red roses, taking the card out of the envelope.

  Kel-

  I’m sorry for tonight. Please be patient with me, I’m trying not to fall too hard too fast for this perfect woman. I’ll miss you tonight.

  Spence

  “Ok, that boy definitely deserves to get laid.” Ryleigh joked.

  I nudged her in the arm, taking my flowers off the desk. “Thanks Richard, have a good night.”

  I sat my flowers on my dresser in my room, admiring them from my bed. I changed into my pajamas and picked up my phone to call Spence.

  “Hey.” He answered on the second ring.

  “Hey you. The flowers are beautiful, thank you so much. I don’t deserve them, though. I was a jerk today. I’m really sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize. I pushed it too far too quickly. I’m going to do things at your pace, when you’re ready.”

  I felt myself smiling. “I miss you.” I whispered.

  “I miss you. I wish you were here.”

  I yawned. “Me too, but I’m tired. Maybe tomorrow night?”

  “Tomorrow night.”

  I took a deep breath. “I’m falling too Spence, but it’s still scary for me. I promise I’ll get there, but it’s just going to take time. Don’t give up on me.”

  “I won’t ever give up on you. We’ll get there. You sound sleepy, you should go to bed.”

  I agreed. “Ok. But before I hang up, can we try something?”

  “Of course, what’s up?” He sounded curious, but I was hoping he didn’t think I was a total dork.

  “I really like you Spence. Since I’m not ready to say the other L word, I wanted to tell you that. I really like you.”

  I heard him chuckle on the other end. “You’re adorable. I’m glad you really like me. But Kel, I really, really like you. Is that ok?”

  Butterflies fluttered deep in my stomach. “Yeah, that’s ok. Goodnight Spence, I really like you.”

  “Goodnight Kel, I really, really like you.”

  Chapter Thirty-One

  He would be home in seven minutes. I’m praying today was a good day at work… I really need him in a good mood for tonight.

  I made his favorite foods for dinner; meatloaf, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole and strawberry cheesecake for dessert.

  Six minutes.

  The closer the clock got to 5:23 the more nauseous I became, and I’m not sure if it was from the pregnancy or because I had to finally tell him. I’ve known I’ve been pregnant for almost a month now, but I’m terrified to tell him. I told him I had my period last month to avoid telling him, but I knew I couldn’t do that again this month.

  Four minutes.

  The wave of nausea was finally too much. I ran to the bathroom, empting the crackers and ginger ale from my stomach.

  Two Minutes.

  Crap.

  I hurried to the sink, splashing water on my face as I brushed my teeth quickly. I ran into the kitchen in time to watch the red dodge ram truck pull up the driveway. My heart was beating rapidly. I sent up one final prayer before beginning to place food on his plate.

  He walked through the kitchen door and walked over to the table. He looked at the food, then back to me. “You fixed my favorites.” His voice was calm. He wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing me on the cheek. “Thank you. I’m going to go wash up.” He walked out of the kitchen and into the bathroom, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Seems like it was a good day today.

  I fixed a small plate of dinner for myself although I wasn’t feeling up to eating, and sat it at my place at the table. He came back out into the kitchen, sitting across from me.

  “Becca, this looks amazing. You must have worked hard on this.”

  This was the Wyatt I fell in love with so long ago.

  “How was your day today?” I asked.

  “Pretty good, actually. I put in for a promotion for warehouse supervisor last week, and I had my interview today. The guy interviewing me said I’m one of the top contenders.”

  I brought my hand to my chest. “That’s wonderful Wy! I’m so proud of you!”

  He smiled brightly at me, continuing to eat. “How was your day?” he asked with his mouth full.

  Alright Becca, it’s now or never. “Well, I got some good news.”

  His eye brows popped up. “Oh yeah?”

  I nodded. “It looks like it won’t be just the two of us anymore. I’m pregnant, Wyatt.” My hands were shaking in my lap.

  He had a blank look on his face, then dropped his fork. “You’re pregnant?” he whispered.

  “Yes.” I smiled, hoping to encourage him to do the same.

  He stood up, slowly walking to the window above the sink. He looked outside for a moment, then dropped his head. “How in the FUCK IS THAT GOOD NEWS? I better get this fucking promotion now, how in the hell am I supposed to support you AND that fucking thing?”

  He grabbed the cheesecake on the counter and threw it against the wall, shattering the plate along with it. “How could you be so god damn careless Rebecca? You knew this wasn’t in our plans! We’re only twenty-one for Christ’s sakes!”

  I was shaking uncontrollably now, holding back the tears. It only made it worse when I cried. I stood up, placing my hand on his arm. “It will be ok, Wyatt. You know my parents will help and-“ he pushed me away from him.

  “I don’t need your fucking parents help! You got yourself into this mess, now get yourself out of it.”

  I protectively put my hand over my stomach. “What are you saying? You want me to get an abortion?”

  He looked at me like I was an idiot. “Duh Rebecca! Do whatever in the fuck you need to, or I’ll take care of it!”

  My legs were shaky, so I reached for the chair for support.

  He looked at my hand still across my stomach. “You won’t do it.” He said quietly.

  A sob escaped my throat. “I can’t, Wyatt. This is our baby. It’s us.”

  Like adding fuel to a fire, he exploded. He was in front of me in two large strides. Before I could register what was happening, I was laying in the floor. Wyatt straddled my hips, and continued to punch my stomach repeatedly. I blacked out after the second punch, allowing myself to escape the horror for just a few minutes.

  When I woke up, I was in a bright room with several people in scrubs around me. “Hey there Rebecca, I’m Doctor Reed. You are at Glenwood Regional Medical Center. Your husband just brought you in. I’m sorry to inform you that you are having a miscarriage because of the fall you had down the stairs. We’re about to take you to the operating room to perform a D&C. Do you know what that is?”

  I nodded groggily.

  “Good. Do you understand what I’m te
lling you right now?”

  I nodded again.

  “Alright. We’re going to take good care of you, Rebecca.”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Going to work after having a week off sucked. Ryleigh and I were both a little slow moving getting ready for work. I didn’t sleep entirely too well, my flashback kept me up for most of the night. That is one of the toughest memories I have. Since I started staying with Spencer, they didn’t come along nearly as often and I finally started sleeping the entire night through. I feel safe with him; I know that Wyatt can’t get to me when I’m with Spence.

  I still got to Spencer’s trailer before he did, so I laid on the couch and looked over the schedule for the day. My eyes were so heavy they burned. I found relief by closing them, and I decided I would just rest my eyes until Spence got here.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  “Mrs. Patterson, how are you feeling?” The nurse asked me as I was being wheeled back to my room.

  “A little nauseous.” I answered.

  She stopped the wheelchair before we got to the doors to the patient rooms. “I have to ask because of the nature of your injury…did your husband hurt you?”

  My eyes grew wide. She knew.

  “Why would you ask a thing like that?” I asked.

  She shook her head. “I didn’t mean to offend you ma’am. Just the story of how you hurt yourself didn’t add up with your injuries. If you need help, we can get it for you and he won’t do it anymore.”

  I avoided looking at her, I knew my eyes would give it away. This was my chance. I could get away and stop all of this. They could get Wyatt help and he could get back to normal.

  “No, I’m fine. Thank you for your concern. I’d like to go to my room please.” I didn’t recognize my own voice. That’s not what I meant to say.

  She sighed heavily before pushing a button for the doors to open. I was wheeled into a room where Wyatt, Mama, Daddy, Preston and Emma were sitting.

  Mama’s eyes were red from crying. “Baby, why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”

  Wyatt helped the nurse get me into bed. “We didn’t want to tell anyone until the second trimester. We wanted to be sure everything panned out before we told.” Wyatt lied.

  I glanced over at Daddy, and he had the same hard look on his face as Preston.

  “Mama I’m sorry.” I cried.

  She came around to the side of the bed and held me close to her, rubbing my back. “It’s ok baby, there’s nothing you could have done. You have nothing to feel guilty about.”

  I do, actually…and I think Daddy and Pres know that too.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  “…baby. Hey, wake up baby.”

  I quickly opened my eyes and sat up, finding Spence sitting on the floor next to the couch.

  “Calm down, it’s alright. Are you ok?”

  I sighed, lying back against the pillow. “I’m so sorry Spencer. I was just waiting for you to get here and I dosed off.”

  He pushed the hair out of my eyes and smiled. “It’s ok, I promise. Do you feel any better?”

  I thought for a second… and actually, I did. Then I noticed Spencer’s hair was done and he had makeup on. “Spence, how long have I been sleeping?”

  “It’s lunchtime.”

  “WHAT!?” I jumped up, but he pushed me back on the couch.

  “You obviously needed the rest. Did you not sleep well last night?”

  I put my head in my hands. “No, I didn’t. I had another nightmare that I couldn’t shake.”

  He sat on the couch beside me and rubbed my back. “Are your nightmares any better when you’re with me?”

  I looked away. “I can’t depend on you to make them go away. I’ll always have them. It’s the part of me that I can’t outrun.”

  “I want to give you your space, but if me being around makes it better, then I want to be with you whenever I can.”

  God, he was so sweet. “We’re together a lot. It helps, but I need my time alone, too. Independence is something I’ve never had, and I need to hold onto it. Besides, I don’t want us to get sick of one another.”

  “Impossible. I can’t get enough of you.”

  I laughed at him. He’s insane. “Ok, since I’ve slacked the entire morning away, what can I do to make up for it this afternoon?”

  He leaned over and started kissing my neck. “Stay with me tonight.”

  I giggled, straddling him to get off of my neck. “I’ll stay, but I mean work. What can I do this afternoon to make up for my laziness?”

  His hands played with my hips, making me want to stay here for the rest of the afternoon. “I need you to go to the hardware store and get a copy of the condo keys. I need you to have a set for emergencies and when I need things picked up or dropped off.”

  For a slight second, I felt weird. Was it disappointment? Did I want him to want to give me a key as his girlfriend? Of course not, it was so soon.

  He grabbed my chin. “Plus, you will be able to come and go as you please. Use the key whenever you want.”

  “Are you sure? That’s a big step.”

  He shrugged. “I think we’re there. Besides, are you going to argue with your boss?”

  I grinned. “Absolutely not. What else can I do?”

  He started chewing on his bottom lip as he was thinking. Good God help me…he’s too gorgeous for his own good.

  “Can you stop by the grocery store and pick up stuff for the house? If you make dinner for us tonight then I’ll call it even.”

  “Deal. Do you want some lunch?”

  He gave me that sexy smile. “Yeah, I do. We better go now before I make you my lunch.”

  This man is killing me. “Maybe we’ll start with the appetizer here first.” I whispered against his lips.

  He smiled brightly. “Whatever you want baby.”

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  I’ve been staying with Spencer almost every night…and the nights that I’m not at his place, he’s at our condo. Although we spend the night together almost every night, during the evenings I’ve been still hanging out with Ryleigh or staying at our condo and taking time for myself. It feels like a good compromise, and it’s working so far. I don’t want to be with Spencer 24/7 and risk us getting annoyed with one another. I like having alone time and doing things for myself.

  I wake up with Spencer’s arm thrown over my stomach and his leg wrapped around both of mine. As if that didn’t make it hard enough to move, I have a fifty pound bulldog laying against me, pushing me into Spencer. Usually this wouldn’t be a problem…but I really need to pee. I begin trying to unravel Spencer’s heavy arm from my stomach and he stretches.

  “Sorry baby, I guess I’m even attracted to you in my sleep.” He smiled lazily.

  “Apparently Tank is too.” I laughed. Spencer noticed Tank on the other side of me and grinned.

  “Tank, come on buddy. Let Kelsey up.”

  Tank’s little head barely lifted off the bed to acknowledge Spencer, then fell back on the mattress.

  “I think he’s tired.” I giggled. Spencer got up and let me out of bed, thankfully. After using the bathroom and getting a glass of water, I got back into bed and leaned against the headboard, watching the sun rise over the mountain. Tank moved onto my lap and quickly fell back asleep. I completely love this dog.

  “Can I ask you something?” Spencer asked.

  Uh oh. “Of course, is everything ok?”

  “Yeah, everything is fine. You’ve been staying here a lot lately, and-“

  “You need space?” I asked quietly.

  “No. Actually, the opposite. I want you to move in. I think this arrangement has been going really well and I want you here every night when I go to sleep and every morning when I wake up.”

  Holy crap.

  Seriously?

  I looked around the room quickly, trying to come up with something. “Um…I don’t think Tank likes this idea. He’ll start to retaliate and pee on all my stuff. Th
is is a bachelor pad for you two.” I blurted.

  Way to go, Kelsey, smooth reasoning.

  Spencer was laughing so hard he was practically crying. “Oh, that’s hilarious. Actually, it was Tank’s idea. He’s trying to butter you up right now.” I looked down to Tank, who was still sound asleep on my lap.

  “Well, I need to hear it straight from Tank’s lips to believe it.”

  Spencer continued to laugh, but let the subject go.

  Crap.

  "I think Spencer is crazy. Absolutely, 100% off his rocker-nuts. Who honestly asks someone to move in with them after only dating for almost a month’?"

  I was wearing a path in the living room from where I was pacing. Ryleigh giggled from behind her new iPad that she received from Collin. I grunted, crossing my arms.

  "Kelsey, he's obviously so in love with you. Does that make him nuts? Absolutely not. I think you're making too big of a deal out of this. You spend more time there with him than you do here, and when you're not at his house he's here. So it's the next step. Why are you reluctant to change?"

  I grunted again. "Because things are going really good right now the way that they are. I don't want to move too fast and jinx anything. I can't..." I stopped myself before getting upset. I silently continued walking back and forth across the living room.

  "You can't what? Talk to me Kelsey." Ryleigh demanded. I didn't answer, I just continued walking. Ryleigh stood up and walked in front of me, blocking my now familiar path. "Tell me."

  Tears welded up in my eyes, and I took a few deep breathes to get them at bay. "I can't lose him Ry. He's helped me overcome a lot since I've come here. I finally have a good life; independence, a good job, an amazing boyfriend, you as my best friend. I'm finally happy! I'm not going to do anything to mess this up for me."

  Ryleigh sighed, grabbing my shoulders. "First of all, nothing, and I mean nothing, will stop us from being best friends. Secondly, who says that taking the next step with Spencer is going to make you lose him? He's made it VERY clear he sees you in his future, so why are you holding back? If anything, I think you'll be the one who will do the most damage to yourself by not letting go and allowing yourself to be happy. It's self-sabotage Kelsey. Now, answer this question for me; if Collin was to ask me tomorrow to move in with him and I was acting the way you are, what would you say to me?"