Destined to Change

by Harley, Lisa M.

  “Oh, Ems. What about the kids? They love him. This is going to break their hearts. This is why I didn’t want to be in a relationship. Don’t you see? This is what I have always been afraid of. I can’t stand the thought of my babies hurting over this, over my bad decisions.”

  “You listen to me, Loralei Harper. This was not your bad decision. He seemed like the real deal. You didn’t do anything wrong. He’s a liar, not you. Now, you’re scaring me. I don’t think you’re safe to be driving. Just pull over and let me come get you,” she pleaded.

  “I’m okay, Ems. The tears are drying up. I’m fine to drive. I’m going to be there in a couple of hours. I’ll call you when I get checked in.”

  “You better. Don’t make me drive my ass to Joplin to check on you.”

  “I promise. I love you, Ems. Thanks for listening.”

  “I love you too, Lor. You drive safe and take care of you, for me.”

  “Will do.”

  I hung up the phone and turned it off again. I didn’t want to talk to Jaxon anymore today. Nothing he could say would make this better. The look on his face when Stacy walked in was engraved in my brain. I would never forget how guilty he looked.

  When I arrived at the hotel, I was drained physically and emotionally. I checked in and gave my bags to the bellboy as I headed upstairs to my room. I loved this trip every year mostly because of this beautiful hotel and the amazing suite that I splurged on. The suite was huge and very traditional. There was a huge four-poster bed in the middle of the room. The bathroom was gigantic and so relaxing. There was a large claw-foot tub in the corner that was the perfect size for two. I had fantasized about Jaxon and me taking a bath together in that tub.

  Jaxon. Why did he lie to me? Why didn’t he tell me what was going on? Why would he hurt me like this? I just couldn’t understand.

  When I turned my phone back on, I saw that I had more missed calls and several voicemails, all from him. The more I looked at the phone the madder I got. Screw him - this was not my fault. I opened my heart, body, and soul to him, and he neglected to mention he was married. How could he do that? What kind of a person was he?

  I decided to go down to the hotel bar and get a drink. I was here to relax and have fun and that’s exactly what I planned to do.

  Before I left the room, I called mom and checked on the kids and told them goodnight. I reassured mom that I was fine and headed downstairs to the bar. I decided I should try to eat something before I started drinking so I asked to be seated in the restaurant. There was a gentleman standing by the hostess station. I assumed he was waiting for a table also.

  He was tall, like abnormally tall, I would guess him to be 6’ 7”. He looked to be about my age, he had light blonde hair and really intense green eyes. He was also a cowboy from his hat to his boots and the wranglers in between. His body was very muscular and you could tell by looking at his calloused hands that he worked hard, definitely not afraid to get his hands dirty.

  He shocked me when he walked over and said, “Evenin’ ma’am, dinin’ alone tonight?” I didn’t think he could get any sexier, but I was wrong. His slow, southern drawl was hot.

  I answered with, “I’ve kinda had a shitty day actually, and I wouldn’t be good company for anyone tonight. I just came down to grab a drink, well actually probably a few drinks, and I thought I better eat something first.”

  “Well we can’t have that now, can we?” He motioned for the hostess. “Excuse me ma’am, we’ll need a table for two.”

  “My name is Cade Walker, nice to meet you Miss….?”

  “Oh, my name is Loralei Harper. Nice to meet you too, Mr. Walker.”

  He looked at me funny. “Please call me Cade and I’ll call you Loralei, okay?”

  I nodded in agreement and the hostess came over to escort us to our table.

  We sat down. Cade asked what I would like to drink. I told him to surprise me. He headed off for the bar, and the waitress brought me our menus. She explained that she could have taken our drink orders. I wasn’t really paying attention to anything that was going on, so I just nodded and waited for Cade to get back with my drink.

  Cade brought me a bottle of Corona with a lime in it. I was not a big fan of beer, but I started chugging it anyway.

  “I think you might ought to slow down, hon’”

  I sneered at him, “I warned you I had a really crappy day, but I forgot to mention that I plan on getting really drunk tonight, so if you don’t want to be a part of that you better get your ass out of that chair and go find some other woman to hit on.”

  He looked completely stunned, but he just gave me his best shit-eating grin. “So what makes ya think I’m gonna hit on you?”

  In my snarkiest voice I said, “You aren’t planning on it, really?”

  He couldn’t even argue. He just laughed this deep belly laugh as the waitress came over to take our order. “Just bring us a couple of steaks, medium rare, baked potatoes, and do you have dinner rolls?” The waitress nodded, took our order, and headed off to the kitchen.

  “You realize this is 2013 and not 1950, don’t you? I am perfectly capable of placing my own dinner order!” This man was so arrogant.

  He just shrugged his shoulders. “Well yeah hon’ I do, but you didn’t seem to mind it, you know, I bet there are lots of things I could do for you that you wouldn’t mind.”

  When he said that, I choked on my beer. He was looking at me like he could eat me alive, and I didn't know if it was the fact that I was pissed at Jaxon or that Cade was just so damned gorgeous, but my lady parts were doing a little happy dance.

  We ate our dinner and I had a few, well more like seven, beers. I was feeling no pain. Screw Jaxon, actually no, been there done that, won’t do it again. Before I knew what was happening, I was trying to get my keycard to unlock my hotel room door, and Cade had his tongue in my ear.

  ----------

  What was that noise…seriously, why did I feel like my head was going to pop off and that that wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen? I very carefully turned over and then I really wished my head would just pop off. Cade was in my bed and he was buck naked, except for his socks. And what I couldn’t decide was if I was more upset that he was in my bed, or that he hadn’t taken his socks off before we had sex. I felt like a total slut at that moment. I very carefully crawled out of bed and headed toward the bathroom.

  When I looked in the mirror I scared myself. I looked like a hooker. Well, what I assumed a hooker would look like after a really rough night. I had raccoon eyes from my mascara, my hair looked like rats could be living in it, and I was wearing - what was I wearing - apparently I got cold in the night because I had on Cades undershirt.

  I decided that I really needed to take a shower and try to remember more about what happened last night. Everything started flooding my mind...the intense flirting during dinner, his foot sliding up my inner thigh under the table, and then me asking him to come to my room for sex. Oh my god, I asked him to come to my room and I told him I just wanted to forget about everything and have meaningless sex and he agreed and came to my room with me. I can’t even blame him for what happened. I did this. It was all my fault.

  Why was I so sore? I literally hurt all over and the warm water in the shower was only helping a little, I needed to remember more about what happened after we got back to the room last night.

  I remembered trying to get into the room and Cade sucking on my earlobe and then sticking his tongue in my ear. Then he used that tantalizing tongue to lick a line from my ear to my nipple, where he sucked and pinched until I screamed out in pain or ecstasy, or both. That thought sent a shiver down my spine.

  Then somehow I was naked and he was naked. I remembered seeing a tattoo on his chest and thinking I had to trace it with my tongue, and then I did just that.

  All of these memories were coming back to me - me insisting he wear a condom and then Cade entering me as he bent me over the couch. I remembered how big he was and how it felt to
be so amazingly full, he was bucking and riding me like an animal. That must be why I was so sore today.

  More memories appeared of me in bed with Cade lying on top of me, him screaming how tight I was and how amazing it felt to be inside me. Oh my god, I am so glad I was drunk at the time, or I probably would have died of embarrassment. This memory couldn’t be right, surely not. There was no way a man would howl when he came, but, oh my god, I remember him doing just that.

  I decided that I better learn to enjoy the heat because I was definitely going to go to hell for being a slut. I hadn’t had sex in ten years and now I was just screwing random cowboys that I met in hotel bars. I asked myself, “How did it come to this?” But I already knew the answer. I fell in love with a pierced, tattooed, knight in shining armor who just happened to forget to mention he was married.

  Cade

  Damn, I hated coming to this thing. Since I was in charge of my family’s ranch, I had to attend this event every year. Normally, I would find a warm body to keep me company for the weekend. Then I would make some deals as I wined and dined a few prospective sellers.

  I really needed a beer and to find that warm body for the weekend. The best place to do that was at the restaurant downstairs. There would be some little cattle heiress just waiting for a big strong cowboy like me to sweep her off her feet, or in my case fuck her senseless.

  While I was standin’ at the hostess station I saw her. She looked like an angel. All she was missin’ was a damn halo. She had long blonde hair laying in curls down her back. She was wearing blue jeans, cowboy boots, and a red plaid button-up shirt. That shirt had just enough buttons unbuttoned to make me want to take a closer look.

  I walked over to her. “Evenin’ ma’am, dining alone tonight?”

  She looked like her cat had just died. She said, “I’ve kinda had a shitty day, I wouldn’t be good company for anyone tonight. I just came down to grab a drink, well actually probably a few drinks, and I thought I better eat something first.”

  “Well we can’t have that now, can we?” I motioned for the hostess. I let her know I would be needin’ a table for two.

  I decided I should probably introduce myself. “My name is Cade Walker, nice to meet you Miss….?”

  “Oh, my name is Loralei Harper. Nice to meet you too Mr. Walker.”

  What the hell? Nobody calls me Mr. Walker. “Please call me Cade and I’ll call you Loralei, okay?”

  The hostess took us over to our table.

  I asked Loralei what she would like to drink. She told me to surprise her. Corona with lime it is. I could tell she wasn’t really excited about my drink choice, but she started to chug it down anyway.

  “I think you might ought to slow down, hon’”

  She shot me a look, that I’m pretty sure would’ve killed a weaker man, “I warned you I had a really shitty day, but I forgot to mention that I plan on getting really drunk tonight, so if you don’t want to be a part of that you better get your ass out of that chair and go find some other woman to hit on.”

  Oh, I was gonna enjoy this. I couldn’t help but grin. “So what makes ya think I’m gonna hit on you?”

  She said, “You aren’t planning on it, really?”

  I couldn’t disagree with that. Of course I was plannin’ on it. Why the hell else would I have bought her a drink and offered her my company for the evening? I just laughed at her.

  The waitress came over and I ordered our dinner. This did not make Loralei very happy. And by the look on her face, I knew I was fixin’ to hear about it.

  “You realize this is 2013 and not 1950, don’t you? I am perfectly capable of placing my own dinner order!”

  Yep, I was gettin’ a hell of a kick out of this woman. “Well yeah hon’ I do, but you didn’t seem to mind it, you know, I bet there are lots of things I could do for you that you wouldn’t mind.” Damn, the things I could do to this woman.

  I guess I was kinda looking at her like she was my next meal. She was blushing, and in my vast experience, that was always the sign of a good girl wantin’ to be bad.

  Wow, Loralei Harper could drink. While we ate our dinner she chugged seven or eight beers. She was pretty buzzed. Actually, I was too. I was matching her drink for drink.

  “So, you run Harper Farms, huh?” I asked in between bites of steak.

  “Yep, sure do. I’ve been managing it for several years. It’s so much more than just a business, you know? It’s my future. It’s my family's future. It’s what I have to show the world I was here. And I accomplished something while I was in this world.”

  It was like she was inside my head. That was exactly how I felt about my ranch. It was my life. And I would do anything to make it a success. Damn, she had the most beautiful honey colored eyes. I couldn’t wait to see the look in those eyes when I made her come. If I had anything to do with it, that would be happenin’ real soon. I ran my boot up her leg starting at her ankle and ending at her inner thigh. She was looking right into my eyes the entire time.

  “So, Cade Walker, you wanna have sex with me?” She asked. I almost choked on my beer.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Cut the shit. We both know that’s what you’ve been planning all night. I’m just making it easier for you. But let me make this clear - this means nothing. It’s just two people having sex. And I have a rule. If you follow the rule, I will do anything to you that you want.”

  “Anything?” I asked.

  “Yep, anything your little heart desires.”

  It definitely wouldn’t be my heart that she would be servicing soon. I wouldn’t have any problem coming up with something for her to do to me.

  “What’s this rule I have to abide by?” I asked.

  “You have to wear a condom. You can’t be like asshat and try to get me pregnant, kay? That’s not too much to ask, right?”

  “Not at all, hon. I promise I’ll wear a condom.”

  “Then we’re on cowboy. Let’s get upstairs.”

  “Your room or mine?” I asked.

  “Mine.”

  I took care of the check and we started walking to the elevator. When the doors closed after we stepped on, she jumped me. No joke. This woman was fuckin’ amazing. She had me pushed up against the wall, her tongue was in my ear, and her legs were wrapped around my waist.

  I peeled her off of me as the elevator doors opened. We walked to her room. She had a hard time getting the door open, but finally she did.

  I couldn’t wait another second. I needed to be inside her. I grabbed her shirt and ripped it off of her. I threw it to the ground and she smiled the sexiest little smile at me. She started to take her jeans off, so I decided to help her. I pulled them down and had her step out of them. I threw them somewhere in the room too. I was in a hurry. I wasn’t too worried about her clothes.

  She was standing in front of me in a lacey black bra and panties. I stripped down to nothing but my socks. I didn’t have time to take them off. Priorities.

  I couldn’t wait another second. I grabbed her and kissed her hard. I thrust my tongue into her mouth. I didn’t want this to end. There was something about this woman. I couldn’t say for sure what it was. But it just felt right.

  I started licking a line from her throat to her nipple. When I bit down she hollered. I straightened up and looked into her eyes. Those beautiful, fucking eyes. She saw my tattoo on my chest and leaned in and licked a trail all the way around it. I couldn’t take another second of this. I had to be inside her, now.

  I motioned for her to follow me over to the couch. I turned her until her stomach was pressing against the arm of the couch. I covered her body with mine. Grabbing her panties, I ripped them off of her and threw them across the room. I unhooked her bra and started to massage her breasts, paying special attention to her nipples. They were so hard.

  She wanted me just as much as I wanted her. I could feel it. My hand found its way to her pussy. She was so wet and ready for me.

  I started to press into her from b
ehind, when she said, “Condom. You promised.” She was breathing heavy and rubbing her backside up against me. I was about to explode and I wasn’t even inside her yet. I left her just long enough to grab my wallet and get a condom. I got back over to her and entered her in one hard thrust. She screamed out, “Oh my God, Cade.”

  After the couch, I took that woman in every position I had ever tried or imagined. She was fuckin’ amazin’. She made me howl more than any other woman ever had. When she finally had enough and fell asleep, I laid awake just watching her breathe. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. There was somethin’ about her. I ran my hand along her jaw and she twisted to press her cheek into my palm.

  This woman was gonna be trouble. I could already feel it in my...heart. Seriously? What the fuck was happenin’ to me? I don’t have feelings for women. I fuck women. That’s it. No sappy love stories here. What the hell was makin’ me want to know more about her?

  Jaxon

  “What the hell are you doing here?” I asked Stacy.

  “I should ask you the same thing. I’ve missed you so much, baby. Why are you here? Why did you leave Richmond?” Stacy sashayed over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. I pushed her away.

  “Are you still using?” I asked.

  “No, baby, I quit that shit a long time ago. I’ve been looking everywhere for you and finally your mom told me where you were.”

  She looked sincere, but with Stacy you could never tell. Her pupils looked normal and she didn’t look like she was using. She had actually put on a little weight. She was still really small, but she had some meat on her bones.

  “Where have you been, Stacy? I looked everywhere for you. It was like you fucking vanished.”

  “I was in rehab, baby. Trying to fix me, so I could come fix us. I love you, Jaxon. I have loved you since I was a kid and I always will.”

  Before I knew what was happening, she was kissing me and touching me and trying to push her tongue into my mouth.