A Love Worth Searching For

by Kathleen Ball

  “Good night, Lily.” He didn’t wait for an answer. He just climbed out into the pouring rain with a big ole grin on his face.

  He came face to face with Owen who was smiling. “Jed, you do know that with the lamp lit you cast a shadow everyone can see. That was some kiss.”

  Jed gave him a quick glare, and Owen stopped smiling.

  “Keep watch for a bit. I want to go talk to Smitty.”

  “You got it.”

  Jed gave him a quick nod and trudged through the numerous puddles. It was going to be hard work when they left. The wagon wheels were mired in the mud.

  Smitty had a fire going under a high tarp. He handed Jed a cup of coffee the minute he ducked under it. Then he subjected Jed to a long, hard stare. “I don’t think that wagon train that attacked us was because of Lily. I never did think that. I think they were after whatever the Landsters have or had in their wagon. I’m not sure if the killer had enough time to get what he wanted.”

  Water poured off Jed’s hat when he took it off. He sat down next to the fire and rubbed his hand over his face. As he sipped his coffee, he nodded. “Lily thinks the same thing, and it would make sense if we knew what they wanted. Someone with money must be behind all this. It would have taken some doing to get the wagons full of men to come out near us. I bet the man tonight was a hired gun. We might never know now that the Landsters are dead.”

  “I was thinking that too. Little Izzy is welcome to come live at the ranch with Lynn. My life had been simple but falling for Lynn has put a whole new spin on things.”

  “You’ll get it all worked out.”

  “It’ll take some doing, but I will.”

  Lily lay with Izzy in her arms. It was morning, and still it poured. The sound of the rain against the canvas was oddly comforting. Jed with his weather prediction was right. She smiled. The look on his face of happy surprise when she’d kissed him warmed her. There was something about Jed Todd that had her acting like a schoolgirl.

  Izzy stirred and when she opened her eyes they widened. She sat up and looked around and then hung her head. “They’re dead,” she said in a toneless voice. She sighed loudly and stared out at the rain.

  “I’m so sorry, Izzy.”

  Izzy nodded. She suddenly seemed beyond seven years old. She turned and stared at Lily. “You are the one who survived the attempts on your life? You are the one who survived the Sioux?”

  “Yes—”

  “You will now protect me.”

  Lily furrowed her brow. It was more of a command than a question or even a request. “Protect you from what?”

  “I must speak with Mr. Todd immediately.” Izzy wasn’t as calm as she portrayed. Her hands shook.

  Lily nodded and got dressed. She put a shawl over her head and was ready to climb out of the wagon when she almost bumped into Jed.

  A grin spread over his face. “Good morning.”

  “I was just about to come find you.”

  His brow cocked. “Any particular reason?”

  Her face heated. “Izzy wants to talk to you. It seems rather urgent.”

  He nodded. “Let me set up a tarp outside here and we can talk. If I come in there now, your wagon will be nothing but mud. Give me a few minutes.”

  She nodded and sat back down inside her wagon. “Jed is—”

  “Yes, I heard. I will need to take you both into confidence.”

  Lily gazed at Izzy. “How old are you?”

  “I shall be eleven in a month’s time.”

  “I thought you were seven.”

  Izzy nodded. “You were supposed to believe it. Things are not what they seem, and I’ll need you and Mr. Todd to help me.”

  “Hello in there!” A male voice said.

  “We brought you coffee.” Lily recognized Jill’s voice. The man with her must be the reverend.

  Lily poked her head out of the wagon. “How kind of you. We’re not quite dressed for visiting just yet.”

  The reverend handed her the tin mugs with a hard, unwavering stare. Then Jill handed her the pot.

  “Well, thank you. I’ll see that you get your pot and cups back.” Lily sat back down in the wagon and began to pour coffee into a cup.

  “Don’t drink it!” Izzy said shaking her head.

  “Why not?”

  “It might be poisoned. Please just wait until after I talk to you and Mr. Todd.”

  What in the world was going on? “Of course. We can wait. There’ll probably be a funeral for your parents today. You don’t have to go. It’s not unusual for people to be too distraught to attend.”

  Izzy simply nodded.

  They waited in silence for Jed to get back. Lily kept playing different scenarios in her head as to what was going on, but her imagination wasn’t wild enough. When the tarp was erected and a small fire was going, Jed grabbed a few crates from the back of the wagon. Rex stopped by and handed Lily a change of clothes for Izzy.

  When they were all set, they climbed out of the wagon and sat on the crates. Jed went back into the wagon, grabbed two blankets, and wrapped them around Lily and Izzy’s shoulders. He then put on a pot of coffee.

  “Now, what is this all about?” he asked.

  Izzy scanned the area. “What I have to tell you must remain a secret. My life depends on it. Obviously, someone knows my secret.” She took a deep breath. “I will tell you the story but first I must get to the wagon to get proof of my birthright.”

  “Owen is guarding your wagon,” Jed told her.

  Izzy shook her head. “Edward and Joanne are not my parents. They were to get me to Oregon and look after me. I know this sounds farfetched, but I am the only child of Henry Fitzjames, third Duke of Albemarle and the Duchess Caroline Fitzjames. My father’s greedy younger brother had men try to kill us all. They succeeded in the killing of my parents. Most people think me dead too, and it worked. I was able to get here to America with no problems. I fear that the attack by the other wagon train was against me.” She stopped and nodded to Lily. “I’m sorry you took the brunt of the blame for it.”

  Jed poured the coffee and handed them each a cup. Izzy hesitated so Lily drank first. “You’re afraid of being poisoned.”

  “Yes, with all the treachery and killings I can’t help but be cautious. My parents entrusted me to the Landsters before they were killed and then I was immediately whisked away to America. We figured no one would look for me among people bound for Oregon.” A tear spilled down her face.

  “I’m so sorry, Izzy.” Jed said. “What can I do to help?”

  “First of all, I need Lily here to be my protector. I’ve never seen such a heroic woman in my life. We must keep our eyes open. The man who shot down the Landsters was an assassin. I pretended to be dead. I will remain inside the wagon for a while, and I want three graves dug. Two for today for all the travelers to see and then a third tonight for whoever is watching. They must believe I’m dead. Then we watch and wait. I’m sure there are people on the train that know who I am.”

  Jed nodded. “Were there any suspects?”

  “At first we thought that Garber and Wanda were play acting to hate you, Lily, but were really targeting me. Edward followed them a few times. But they are just crazed lovers who want to do you harm.”

  Crazed Lovers? How strange to hear those words from a young child. Lily looked into Izzy’s eyes and saw a wealth of knowledge as though she was an old soul. She probably had to grow up way too soon. But her information must be wrong. Garber tried to rape Lily and he was adamant about never marrying Wanda.

  “Where in the wagon are your documents?” Jed asked.

  Lily looked around again and leaned over toward Jed. She whispered to him and he nodded.

  “I’ll send Rex over to sit with you while I go to your wagon, Izzy. You’re in good hands.” He nodded to Lily.

  Lily watched him disappear into the pouring rain. She grabbed the coffee the Callen’s had brought over and dumped it out. She dreaded the thought of having to return the po
t and cups to the Reverend and his sister. They wanted something. She’d never seen them give anyone anything.

  Sure enough, they came out of the foggy rain. Lily tried to read their faces. Were they surprised she was still alive? Maybe the poisoning theory was a bit dramatic.

  “I haven’t had a chance to wash out the pot I’m afraid,” Lily said. She handed to pot and cups to Jill, expecting them to leave, but to her surprise, they sat down at the fire.

  “I feel ill.” Izzy immediately climbed into the wagon and Rex’s hand was on the handle of his gun.

  The reverend took a Bible from beneath his coat and held it with two hands. “We’re here on God’s work. We don’t think this is the right place for Izzy to be. She needs to be with people who can teach her right from wrong. Someone with an untarnished reputation.”

  Lily’s jaw tightened as she stared him down. Now he has a Bible.

  “Surely, you can understand,” Jill said.

  Lily shook her head. “No I don’t understand how you two are supposed to be doing God’s work? Doesn’t God accept everyone? Izzy is staying with me.”

  Even in the rain, a crowd gathered, and when she panned it, Lily saw mostly frowns and glares directed toward her. Her heart sank. What was she supposed to do?

  “I suggest you all just move away,” Rex growled.

  Lily’s stomach clenched when no one backed away. They were finally going to try to lynch her. She wished she could kiss Jed one more time.

  Rex pulled his gun and fired into the air. “I said move along.”

  Lily stood and put her back against the wagon. They’d have to go through her to get to Izzy, though it wasn’t Izzy all of them wanted. “Izzy isn’t doing so well. I fear she might be dying, so please just leave.”

  People stopped advancing. They glanced at one another and then most walked away. Of course, Garber and Wanda were still there.

  Jed came running with his gun drawn. “What is going on here?” He glared at Wanda, Garber and the Cullens. “Izzy needs rest. She just lost her parents. You should be ashamed of yourselves.”

  Jill stood and put her hands on her hips. “I think it’s you who is wrong, Jed. We’ve looked the other way about your relationship with Lily. Improper isn’t a strong enough word for what you two have been doing every night. You will not fill that girl’s mind with such filth.”

  Lily’s mouth dropped open. What happened to the meek and mild Jill? Maybe Izzy was right and they were a danger to her. It was almost too much to take in. Jed sent her a reassuring look and she calmed a bit.

  “We’re leaving in the morning. Go back to your wagons and try to stay warm and dry. Smitty has a big fire going for all to share. Now go!”

  The reverend stood, put his Bible back under his coat. “This is not the last of it. Izzy will be living with my sister and I as soon as she’s well. I’m sure I’ll have the support of the whole wagon train. We might have paid you to guide us but it doesn’t mean we can’t just go our own way without you. I have a guidebook so I’m sure I could lead. Come, Jill, let us go pray for Izzy’s soul.”

  As they walked away, Jed turned toward Wanda and Garber. “Well, do you have something you want to say?”

  Garber took a step forward. “Wanda and I are getting married and we want to raise the girl, right and proper. We’ll be back tomorrow after we are married.” He took Wanda’s hand and they were soon swallowed by the fog.

  A chill raced across Lily’s skin. “They are going to take her and I don’t think we’ll be able to stop them.”

  Jed took a few strides toward her until they were toe to toe. “The reverend couldn’t find his way out of a forest of only two trees.”

  “What about Garber and Wanda? Some people actually like them.”

  Jed sighed. “I know. Listen, get into the wagon. I’ll join you after I take off my boots. I need to look at all the documents I found. And talk to Izzy some more.”

  She nodded and climbed into the wagon taking up as little space as she could. It was a tight fit with her and Izzy. Somehow, Jed would have to squeeze in.

  Chapter Eight

  The accommodations were tight, and Jed shifted in the wagon. What he wouldn’t give to stretch his cramping legs. They’d been in it for hours reading over all of the documents from the Landster wagon. It was simply amazing, the declarations and the seals from some higher ups in England. It wasn’t something he knew much about or really cared about until now.

  Izzy’s claims were true and she was due a big inheritance. They had their rules and traditions as convoluted as they were.

  “If I’m reading this right, no one is to know who you are for all your life unless your uncle is killed.”

  Izzy swallowed hard. “Yes, that’s the plan.”

  Jed met Lily’s gaze. The tears in her eyes tore at him.

  “It looks as though Lily and I are to keep you safe. We don’t want anyone else to know your secret. They have gone to great lengths to make sure you never get your inheritance.”

  Izzy nodded solemnly. “What makes it the hardest is you don’t know who the enemy is. People are so good at pretending. You two aren’t as good.”

  Lily furrowed her brow. “I don’t try to pretend to be something I’m not.”

  A slight smile graced Izzy’s lips. “You love Jed, and he loves you back. It’s there if you look.”

  Lily turned a beautiful shade of crimson. “We’re good friends.”

  He tried to hide the smile that threatened to appear. “We need to protect Izzy.”

  “She’ll stay with me. I can protect her,” Lily said with fierceness in her voice.

  “I know you can, but I don’t think you can do it alone,” Jed said as he gazed at her.

  “I won’t have to. You can sleep under the wagon at night.” Lily nodded as if it was the final decision.

  Jed shook his head. “I think you’ve forgotten about the Callens and Wanda and Garber. They plan to fight it out for Izzy.”

  “You two must marry,” Izzy insisted. “Please, it’s the only way.” She stared at Lily then at Jed, with a pleading look in her eyes.

  Jed blinked hard. He couldn’t say no and risk hurting Lily, but marriage was a big step. Too big to be made in haste. “What do you think Lily? Truthfully, I would’ve liked to have courted you more, but we can’t allow anyone to take her from us.” His heart sank at the defeated expression on her face.

  Lily got up and climbed out of the wagon. She was going to say no, he knew it.

  “We’ll be right outside,” he said as he left the wagon. Lily sat at the fire staring into it. He knew she heard him but she didn’t look up.

  He sat down on a crate next to her and turned toward her. Her frown tore at him. He waited until she turned to gaze on him, and his answer was right there in her bleak expression.

  “We’ll figure something else out. You don’t want to marry me. I can understand. You’ll have your choice of single men once we reach Oregon. I don’t want this to ruin our friendship, though.”

  She shook her head. “I will marry you, Jed Todd. My life has not been one full of choices, and I accept that. Izzy matters, not me and not you. My opportunities in life were extinguished the moment Chayton took me. I’m grateful that I didn’t have to marry him. What I really want to do is get on a horse and ride across the prairie with the wind in my face and my hair whipping all around. But even that would have to come to an end.” She took his hand. “I just don’t want you to feel tied down to a woman like me.”

  He opened his mouth but she put a hand up to stop him.

  “Let me have my say. You will lose friends, and you’ll be shunned from certain circles. Any children we have, if we have, will be treated like outcasts. There is no denying it or changing it. I’m tainted and I’m not to be trusted, that’s what people say. Even the so-called good people of the wagon train haven’t had time or inclination to nod their heads at me in passing. Going to Oregon won’t matter. Most of these people are going there too, an
d all it will take is for one of them to talk about my capture. I will do this for Izzy, but I want you to know once we are settled at your ranch and I know she is safe, I’m leaving.”

  “Just like that, you’d up and leave?”

  She nodded. “I’ll be doing you a favor. It may not seem so now but you’ll see. I just want you to know you won’t be tied to me forever. You’ll be able to marry some nice woman and have friends and go to all the socials and events in town.” Her voice died out at the last word and she glanced away.

  His now-empty hand felt cold without her hand in his. He had no plans to let her go. None. Was it fair to marry her when she thinks she can just leave? Smitty would be the one to ask but he didn’t have time for that.

  They waited for nightfall and slipped Izzy into Smitty’s wagon. Then he and Lily rode to the wagon train that was about three miles behind them, seeking the preacher traveling with that train. They’d met him when camped at Independence Rock, and he’d seemed a decent sort. There would be no flowers, or music. None of the niceties that women liked but they didn’t have that luxury.

  The preacher had just retired into his wagon when they arrived, but he readily agreed to get up and marry them. He didn’t know who Lily was, and that made it easier for Jed to breathe. He smiled into her eyes as he said “I do,” and he saw a flicker of love in her eyes as she repeated her vows. The kiss was a bit hasty, and then they were off.

  They planned to spend the night in the same wagon so everyone would notice come morning that they’d been together.

  Owen was there to take their horses when they returned. “We dug the third grave and wrapped up some bedding and buried it. I think we fooled anyone watching. I didn’t feel any eyes upon me.”

  “Thanks Owen.”

  Hand in hand, Lily and Jed walked to their wagon. They both left their boots outside as they crawled in. It was still just as cramped but he was able to stretch his legs out this time. He’d been running on adrenaline all day, and he was suddenly exhausted, but he had a duty to perform.