Rewind

by Mariam Alaa

  Please accept this simple gift. We warned you to stay away from my daughter, and you still didn’t. If I don’t hear from my daughter throughout the next week, you’ll not like what’ll happen. Oh and Adam, be grateful the men we hired didn’t wreck you up instead of your car.

  Best regards,

  Mr. George Williams

  “Adam, I don’t know what to tell you; I’m so sorry.” My face is directed to the dark grey rough ground, too embarrassed on my parent’s behalf to look at him that I feel like I’m going to start crying.

  After a few minutes of complete and utter silence, he exhales softly. “It is not your fault.”

  “Yes, it is- it’s my fault,” I finally look him in the eyes, hoping he could pick up my genuinely pained expression. “If I weren’t here, this wouldn’t have happened.”

  “Evangeline, listen to me.” His anger fades in an instant and morphs into seriousness. “You shouldn’t take the blame for other people’s mistakes- no matter how close they are to you. This.” He points to the shattered glass before pressing on the fact. “Is your parents fault- not yours.”

  “Do you want me to leave?” I blurt out, feeling vulnerable all of a sudden because I have no place to go if Adam won’t let me stay here- except for a hotel maybe, but at the same time, I feel that he’ll be better off without me.

  “What?” He looks at me like I’m insane before his expression softens. “No, of course not. Listen, I kind of figured your father’s going to do something like that. Stay for as long as you want.”

  I let out a breath of relief, “I’m so sorry, Adam- I really am. I don’t know what my parents were thinking, but you can have my car anytime you want to u—”

  “Evangeline, it’s okay.” He presses on the word ‘okay’. “I have enough money to buy a new Porsche if I like; I’m just mad that they think it’s okay to do something like that and get away with it.”

  Of course he has; he’s the son of Gabriel Sanderson after all, but still, just because he has enough money- just because he’s rich enough- doesn’t mean it’s okay with my parents to mess with him like that, and for what? For not answering their calls. Here he is, kindly asking me not to take the blame for my parent’s cruelty, while they’re putting the blame on him- a stranger- for my own mistakes.

  “Will you file a report against them?” The question has been on my mind ever since we saw the car and as much as it worries me now that he might because -after all- they’re still my parents, it’s completely his right.

  “No, it’ll just create more problems. Plus, we have no clear evidence that they’re the ones who did it.” He sounds defeated.

  “The note?” I point towards the paper in his hand.

  “What? The one I’m holding? It has our fingerprints on it now. It’s okay, Evangeline, really. Let’s just head inside.” He starts walking towards his house with me trailing behind him.

  He’s right- my father wouldn’t have done something like that without making sure he left no evidence that traces back to him. It’s sad, really, because now it leaves me doubting my parents. Since I’ve seen it with my own eyes- seen what they’re capable of, my mind won’t stop thinking about the possibility that they’re the ones responsible for my accident.

  “But how did my parents find out that I’m staying at your house anyways?” I furrow my eyebrows.

  Angling my face towards Adam’s, the ‘lost in thought’ look on his face suddenly transforms into a disappointed one, and his eyes –oh God- darken with a burning rage swimming in them as he states with no ounce of doubt, “Adrien.”

  My heart beats angrily in my chest at the sudden feeling that irked up my body. Right now, I understand Evelyn’s words when she said ‘I feel like I’m grateful for having one and ungrateful for knowing the other’ because I am. I’m cursing the day Adrien Sanderson walked into my life- for the second time.

  “How could you do this? Have you lost your mind?” I yell through the phone, my voice laced in fury, as I speed walk forwards and backwards several times in my room.

  Once Adam left the house on his feet, I couldn’t control myself. I rushed up the stairs, made sure to lock the door separating our floors and closed the door of my bedroom shut just in case he comes back at any instant, for I wouldn’t want him eavesdropping on my conversation with my parents because I have a lot to say to them.

  “How could we do what?” My father dares to play innocent as if he has no idea what I’m talking about.

  “You know what, dad? You wanted to talk. You left me missed calls, messages, and voice notes begging me to call you, and I called. Isn’t that what we’re doing now? So let me say this once and in a very clear voice: if you will keep up your facade of innocence just like you oh-so-well did about my memory loss, I will end this phone call right now, and you won’t even touch Adam or his house or anything he owns because if you do, I’ll be the one pressing charges against you.” I let out a breath after claiming what I have to say, and even though I’m feeling a little bit guilty of how I’m choosing to handle things with my parents, I’m beyond livid right now.

  “You’ll file a report against your own parents?” The accusation in his voice causes blood to rush to my cheeks.

  “Have it your way then. Goodbye—”

  “Wait!” He interrupts with a sudden desperate sound.

  “What?” My frustration is crystal clear as my voice echoes around the room.

  “Fine.” He breathes out before admitting the truth. “I wrecked up his car, so what?”

  “So what?! Can you even hear yourself? I don’t recognise you anymore, dad. Do you know what Adam has done for me up till now? Instead of having someone renting up his entire two floors while constantly loading his pockets with worthy cash, he allowed me to stay up here for free- without paying a single dollar. He’s just helping me by giving me time to think, process and see what the hell I want to do with my life now! He’s being there for me right now by doing absolutely nothing. He is a decent man, dad. You offer me your acceptance to marry someone as manipulative as Adrien- a guy who gave me a black eye- instead of a gentleman like Adam- the guy who helped my healing process. For God’s sake, the man won’t even tell me what happened between me and you because he doesn’t want to be the reason I end up cutting attachments! What the hell is wrong with you?”

  “Adrien punched you?” I roll my eyes at his question, although his surprise isn’t something I was awaiting since Trevor saw it, so I assumed he must’ve told them.

  “He did, and Adam gave me ointments and ice packs to treat my wounds. Right now, he’s offering me food and a roof above my head until I sort things out, and that’s all I care about right now. He cares about me, dad, even when I’m not Evelyn. Is this how you repay the man?” My tone is now much calmer and gentle, barely above a whisper as I try knocking some sense into him.

  Silence follows my speech for a few seconds, and I’m guessing my words are still sinking before my dad actually comes back to his senses. “I’m sorry, Evangeline.”

  “It’s not me you should apologize to,” I reply sternly, “Listen, dad, I still don’t know the reason why Evelyn wasn’t happy with you guys, but I’ll find out soon- I promise you that. Right now, I’m already furious with your actions. Are you happy now that I’m ashamed of my own parents? I can’t believe mom actually applauded you to doing this instead of objecting. As I’m saying, though, I’m already mad at you even before finding out your big secret, so if you- in anyway- want me to forgive you, you’ll buy Adam another black Porsche, and if it’s not there in front of his house tomorrow by noon, there’ll be nothing for us to talk about.”

  “Evangeline, have you lo—” I end the call, not giving him a chance to reply.

  After I ended the call with my father, I open the door and head downstairs. If there’s one way I know how to demonstrate how sorry I am, it’s through my cooking. As my feet hit the bottom of the staircase, unlocking the barrier between us, I keep praying Adam’s not here yet
. When I call out his name and he doesn’t answer, I do a happy little dance in my mind. I enter the kitchen, open the gigantic fridge and grab all the ingredients. I remember one of Evelyn’s entries where she wrote how Adam’s favourite dessert is brownies, and how she wishes she had the slightest clue about cooking. There’s a difference between Evelyn and I because if there’s one thing I know I’m actually good at, it’s baking, and brownies just happen to be my favourite.

  Chapter 16

  I woke up with my arms sore, probably because of staying in the kitchen for about two hours last night. After one hour of mixing up the ingredients, placing the tray in the oven and pulling it out at the smell of the freshly baked brownies, I spent another hour doing one of my least favourite house chores: washing the dishes.

  After decorating the brownies with chocolate chips, which I arranged to form the word ‘sorry’, I sat down on the chair in the dining table with my head heavily laid on my arms as I patiently waited for Adam’s arrival back home. Even though I don’t remember exactly when he came back into the house, all I know is that it was really late. As humiliating as it sounds, I fell asleep before he made it past the front door. I remember how he gently shook my shoulders, interrupting my dreams so that I can go upstairs to sleep comfortably in my bed; I remember how his expression softened when he saw my piece of art that was lying in front of me on the table, and I remember how the drowsiness fled me when I was aware that he finally returned.

  Instead of listening to his pleads for me to go upstairs and continue resting, I sat there with him for about two hours talking. Our conversation kept running over and over in my mind as my body is currently all stretched out on my bed. When we both said goodnight, I headed to my bedroom and kept thinking until the dark clouds gradually turned into a shade of light blue. Needless to say, I couldn’t sleep.

  “I’m really sorry.” I push the tray to his side of the table with an apologetic expression on my face, hoping he’d really forgive me.

  He lets out a laugh as he stares at the sweet chocolate fudge in front of him, “I already told you: there’s nothing to feel sorry about.” His hand grabs the knife and cuts through the whole thing, “But I have to say I’m glad you still felt guilty, otherwise you wouldn’t have made me the second thing that is most capable of making me happy.”

  “What’s the first?” I ask, failing at not sounding too curious.

  “Evelyn.” He looks away as he states in such a sad voice, “But I can’t have her now.”

  My heart pounds in my chest, and awkwardness crawls into me as I fail to come up with a reply, but, thankfully, he changes the subject immediately. “So…” A playful smile plasters onto his face as he asks, “Is it just a coincidence you cooked my favourite dessert, or does Evelyn’s diary have something to do with it?”

  Heat crawls up to my cheeks, and I hate that I know that I’m blushing, but I give him an honest reply. “She mentioned it in there somewhere.”

  He picks up the piece he separated from the others before his teeth sink into its corner. He begins to chew the pieces slowly. “What the hell? This tastes like heaven!”

  An involuntary smile steadily starts appearing on my face at the compliment. “Well I’m glad you like them.”

  “Evelyn never knew how to cook; we always ordered food whenever she came by,” he states.

  “Yeah, I know; she mentioned it in her diary too. Can I ask you a question?”

  “Sure.” He stretches his legs onto the floor as he pushes his back into the chair.

  “Where were you?” I blurt, praying God that he wouldn’t take the wrong idea by my question.

  “Earlier, I stopped by a place that takes in damaged cars because I didn’t want neither the media nor a neighbour to show up at my house asking questions about what happened to my car, so I got rid of it,” he demonstrates before continuing, “A few hours ago, I went to the house of Daniel- my bestfriend- because his twin brother just passed away yesterday.”

  “I’m sorry for his loss.” My heart aches for a man I don’t even know, but I can’t imagine how it must feel like to lose someone as close as a twin.

  His mood dampens, and I try to think of something to say to avert the topic, but what comes out of my mouth wasn’t anything I was actually planning to say, and I can’t help but feel beyond embarrassed by my question. “Are you dating anyone now?”

  “No.” He huffs out a breath as his eyes deeply explore mine, “I haven’t dated anyone since the accident.”

  My heart seems to sink at his answer- maybe because I feel guilty for running around with Adrien while he had no one but himself.

  “Why not? It’s almost been five years.”

  “I’ve tried- if that’s what you’re asking. I’ve gone out with several girls, but after the first time I’d meet any of them, I’d turn them down.” He rushes a hand through his soft hair.

  “But why? Surely one of them was good enough.” A pang of jealousy hits me, but it’s gone as soon as it came because I quickly remind myself that it must’ve been worse for him to see me getting engaged to a man- his brother out of all people.

  “Easy.” His eyes meet mine, and I swear my heart almost lunged out of my chest once he clarifies, “None of them were you.”

  At around 6 pm, Adam was no were to be found. We had breakfast together this morning, but I have to admit that after last night’s conversation, things were pretty much awkward. During our breakfast, I tried to distract myself from the deafening silence by taking sneaky glances at the front door, waiting for a knock to ripple through the hard wood at some point. It didn’t, and I can’t tell if I was surprised that it didn’t, or if I was- somewhere in my mind-anticipating it.

  Needless to say, I was disappointed that my father took my threat lightly. It’s either that, or he really doesn’t care whether or not I avoid them forever. If it’s the latter one, then I don’t get it because he seemed pretty adamant on mending our already broken beyond repair relationship.

  Feeling slightly frustrated while sitting around in my room doing nothing, I pick up my phone and dial Caroline Forbes <3 aka Lexi. Several rings vibrate in my eardrums before the call ends, and my frustration even grows stronger. I brush my hair backwards with my fingers before deciding to go outside for some fresh air.

  After changing my PJ’s into some denim, boyfriend jeans, a plain full sleeve nude pink sweatshirt and white converse, I pull my long hair into a ponytail, take several dollar notes with me and head outside. Since this morning while I was preparing breakfast there was close to no food in the fridge, I decided to make my destination the hypermarket to buy us some groceries. From what Lexi’s told me, it’s only a few minutes away from Adam’s place.

  The moment I pull the door open, a cool breeze of freshening air hits me, causing me to thank God that I chose to wear something heavy. I suddenly find myself wondering about the last time I was actually outside on the streets, and I wish I haven’t thought about it because it wasn’t a pleasant memory.

  The last time I left Adam’s was the night I decided to confront my parents.

  The night that revealed to me that choosing Adrien wasn’t the right choice.

  The night he hit me.

  The distance between the hypermarket and I was slowly diminishing with every step I took. People were walking in the streets around me everywhere, heading in different directions, when the sky suddenly turned a darker shade of blue and just like my intuition told me, it started raining a few seconds later.

  I pulled the hoodie on top of my head, seeing as I didn’t have an umbrella with me at the moment like most people did and fastened my pace to the door of the market.

  A rush of relief hits me once I was safe inside, protected from being completely drenched by the bright white ceiling on top of my head. I pull down the hoodie, grab a shopping cart and start throwing in everything Adam and I usually eat throughout our day. After about ten minutes, I was finally done. I slowly started walking with the cart to where the ca
shier was when an unfamiliar woman with long raven black waves, spotless white teeth, cerulean blue eyes and a curved nose, who seems to be about my age, calls out Evelyn’s name.

  “Yes?” I answer hesitantly.

  “It’s Laura. Don’t you remember me?” She pushes her cart forward, which had a cute small baby placed in it as well as many groceries, as she approaches me.

  I swallow anxiously as I have no idea what to tell her, but then I muster an apologetic smile on my face as I answer her, “No, I don’t really remember. I’m sorry,” I then force a lie out of my mouth, not wanting to embarrass the woman. “But your face looks familiar though.”

  “We went to the same school and shared many classes together- advanced math, biology and chemistry?” The smile on her face dims a little, hurt that I don’t recognize her.

  I hate myself for lying, but I couldn’t watch her day dampen just because I lost my memory, so I fake recognition on my face and offer her a beaming smile. “Oh yeah, I remember now. How are you?”

  “I’ve never been better actually; I got married to Eric Davidson, and had this baby girl here.” She points to the two-year-old baby playing around with the bottle of milk in the cart before her eyes avert to my hands and her expression morphs into a one full of pity and sympathy. “You and Adam haven’t gotten married?”

  Her question takes me by surprise since I don’t know what exactly she knows about my personal life, but I compose myself quickly. “No, we didn’t.”

  She lets go of her cart, takes a few steps forward, and places a comforting hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?” I eye her genuinely pained expression with confusion.

  What can she be sorry for?

  “For what your parents did.”

  My breath hitches in my throat because this conversation is just totally taking a drastic turn. She knows about what my parents did? About the reason why Evelyn hates them? I’m not ready for that- especially not here. In the back of my mind, I knew the reason was there somewhere in the diary; I just felt like I wasn’t ready to learn the truth so fast. After figuring out that Adam and Adrien were brothers, I wanted to take in this fact slowly and promised myself to not rush myself into unravelling everything so as not to have these dark truths devouring me. I made up my mind yesterday that I’ll read this part- the part about why Evelyn wasn’t seeing eye to eye with my parents- tonight.