To Dream Anew

by Tracie Peterson

  “I am too,” Dianne said, hugging her sister. “I’m proud of you, too, for not being jealous of what never really existed. I always worried that you’d hear about the way he felt and be uncomfortable or worried that I’d do something to come between the two of you.”

  “No, I know he loves me,” Ardith said softly. She turned as Dianne released her. “But what of Koko’s brother?”

  “Takes Many … I mean George?” Dianne questioned. She grew uncomfortable. Ardith would no doubt find it difficult to understand the relationship she and George shared.

  “Yes. What of him? He loves you. I think even Cole realizes that.”

  Dianne looked away. “Yes, Cole knows that. But he also trusts George. You see, when George could have seen to Cole’s demise, he chose instead to risk his life to bring Cole back to me. Cole told me he knew from that moment on that there would never be a man whom he could trust with me as much as he could Takes Many Horses.”

  “It must be hard on George to watch you from afar and know that you are in love with someone else. I know it was hard on Levi, until he found me.”

  “It is hard to love someone and feel their love is unreturned. I went through times like that with Cole. Ours was such a strange courtship—not truly a courtship at all. I cared for him and he cared for me, but our lives were so entangled with other problems—with other people. Then he finally declared his love and asked for my hand, and I thought I’d never be happier.”

  “But something happened?”

  “Yes. He felt obligated to go back to Kansas and make amends with his father and mother. It was partially my fault. I knew he could never be the man I needed him to be until he let go of his bitterness and hatred toward his parents. He went to make amends and stayed to help them establish their farm. On his way back to me, his wagon train was attacked and he was taken hostage. Then when he was finally returned to me, we married. We hardly knew each other, but in some ways, I felt I’d known him all of my life.”

  “You were friends before you courted. Mama always said that was for the best.”

  “I remember that,” she said as the memory came rushing back. She could see her mother kneading bread and instructing them on courtship and other things to come.

  Dianne closed her eyes and quoted, “‘A man and woman are better off friends for a good long time before they take marriage interests in each other. That way they have something to build their marriage on other than physical attraction and romantic notions.”’

  “Yes,” Ardith agreed. “That was it exactly.”

  “Cole and I have had our rough times. I’m not very good at letting him lead—at trusting him to know the right thing for the ranch. But now, in the middle of all of this, I suddenly realize it really doesn’t matter what he knows or doesn’t know. He’ll make his mistakes and learn from them—or he won’t. But he loves me. He loves our children.”

  “And that’s all that really matters,” Ardith said softly.

  Dianne caught sight of movement in the smoky landscape to the west. She strained her eyes to see if it was yet another neighboring rancher and his family or if Cole and the others were finally coming to safety.

  She took several steps forward, then a few more. It was George and Jamie! She ran down the road, hoping and praying. Surely they hadn’t come alone! As she neared, the smoke cleared enough to reveal Gus and several of the ranch hands. They all looked filthy and worn out—all wearing matching expressions of discouragement.

  She stopped in the middle of the road. The riders parted enough to reveal Cole as he rode toward her. In front of him sat Luke—safe—alive. Barky, Luke’s dog, ran beside them.

  She burst into tears and ran the rest of the way. She gave no thought to George or Jamie. She didn’t even bother to acknowledge Gus or the boys. Instead, she had eyes only for her son and husband.

  Cole slid from the horse as she approached. He pulled her into his arms and she fell against him as if all of her strength were suddenly drained.

  “Oh, you’re safe! You’re safe and you found him!”

  “Are you all right?” he murmured against her ear.

  Dianne nodded and sobbed in a great release of emotion. God had heard her prayers and had been faithful. Now maybe Mara would believe. But whether she did or not, Dianne knew that something was forever changed in her heart that day. She could let Cole lead—she could trust him with the ranch, with the animals, with her uncle’s legacy. But she could especially trust him with her heart—because he’d just given it back to her safe and unharmed.

  CHAPTER 31

  “WE FOUND HIM SITTING IN THE RIVER,” COLE SAID AS THEY gathered in Ben and Charity’s house.

  “In the river?” Dianne questioned.

  “You said if there was a fire to go to the river,” Luke stated. Beside him, Barky sat faithfully, head on Luke’s lap, big brown eyes gazing upward. Cole had told Dianne how the dog had been right beside Luke the entire time.

  “He told me he saw me head out toward the river and followed. He could see the fire in the distant trees and figured we were all heading to the river. He and Barky got there and couldn’t find me.”

  “But I knew Papa would come back,” Luke declared.

  Mara stood to one side, and Dianne looked up to catch her gaze. The girl had been very quiet ever since Luke had been returned to them.

  “Apparently he sat there the entire time,” George stated. “Sat there and waited.”

  “Good boy. You did good,” Dianne said, hugging her son close for the tenth time. His damp clothes brought to mind the need to change him. “Let’s go see what clothes I brought. You’re soaked clear through and need something dry.”

  “I’m hungry. Can we eat?” Luke questioned. He seemed no more upset by the day’s events than if he’d witnessed Barky chasing a rabbit.

  “I’ll get him a bowl of stew,” Charity said. “You go ahead and take him to our bedroom.”

  Dianne lifted Luke in her arms and carried him away from the crowded room. For a moment she just breathed in the scent of him, cherished the feel of his hair against her cheek.

  “I was so worried about you,” she told him. “I didn’t know where you’d gone.”

  “That’s sure a big fire, isn’t it, Mama?”

  She sat him down upon a wooden chair. “Yes, it’s a very big fire and we might even lose the house.”

  “Did Papa get all the animals out? Did he get my pony?”

  “Yes, the animals have been taken to safety. Now we must wait and see what the fire does—whether it comes to the town.”

  “If it comes here, where will we go?” Luke asked innocently.

  Dianne pulled off his boots. “I don’t know. Uncle Zane lives in Butte, and I suppose we could go stay with him until a new house could be built.”

  “Is Butte far away? Will we see Indians?”

  Dianne laughed. “It is far, but I doubt we’d see Indians.” Her mind whirled with the possibilities of what their future might hold. She would trust Cole to know where to take them and what to do.

  She helped her son get out of his wet clothes and into dry ones as he continued to chatter about the fire. Oh, thank you, God. Thank you for bringing him back to me. Thank you for watching over him . Dianne forced back tears of joy. God had been so good to her.

  “Is he all right?” Mara asked from the doorway.

  “He’s fine,” she said, motioning her in. “Come see for yourself.”

  Mara acted rather shy as she inched into the room and leaned back against the wall. “I’m glad he’s all right.”

  Luke looked at her and smiled. “It’s a big fire.”

  “Yes it is,” Mara answered, “and we were very worried about you. We couldn’t find you.”

  “I was just fine,” Luke said, sounding very grown up.

  Dianne helped her son with his socks. “We’ll put your boots by the fire to dry. Hopefully they won’t shrink. You be sure and stay in the house. I don’t have another pair of shoes for y
ou.”

  “I’m hungry, Mama,” Luke reminded her.

  “You go find Miz Charity and she’ll set you up with a bowl of stew. There might even be some bread.”

  Luke hurried out of the room. “Miz Charity! Miz Charity, I’m ready to eat.”

  Dianne smiled as she spread her son’s clothes out over the back of the ladder-back chair where he’d been sitting.

  “I guess God heard your prayers,” Mara said softly.

  Dianne turned. “I’m sure He did. But, Mara, you must understand something. Sometimes things don’t work out the way we want them to. I’ve prayed and asked God’s protection for everyone, but no doubt someone will be hurt—even lost—in this fire. The men have been outside of town trying hard to plow furrows of dirt so the fire will have no fuel when it reaches that point. But that doesn’t mean no one will get hurt.”

  “I realize that. I’ve heard Pastor Ben talk about that before. Father isn’t all that supportive of religions and church. He doesn’t believe in God, but church has served his purposes at times. So the times I’ve been here I’ve listened. My brother Joshua has been reading a lot of books—well, whenever he can get his hands on them. He reads about religions and about what different people believe about God.”

  “And what did he conclude?” Dianne asked.

  “He didn’t. He wasn’t sure what to think. It seemed to him that every person was equally convinced that his way was the right way.”

  “I’ve no doubt that’s true. I guess it’s a matter of God making himself real to you in His own personal way. I went to Sunday school and church when I was young, but it never seemed all that important to me. My teachers were often mean and harsh, and that was certainly not very appealing to a child.”

  “When did you decide that the Bible was real and that God really heard your prayers?” Mara asked.

  “When I was seventeen my mother was missing—she’d wandered out in a snowstorm. I was heartsick from loss. My youngest sister, Betsy, had been kicked in the head by a mule and had died on our trip out here from Missouri. My sister Ardith had fallen into a river and was swept away. I figured her dead too. And my father, a good and loving man, had been shot in the crossfire of soldiers as they tried to quell southern rebels. I was overwhelmed with grief. My mother was expecting another baby, and I had tried my very best to care for her. I felt I had failed when I came to find her gone.”

  The memories came flooding back to Dianne as if it’d been yesterday. “I couldn’t bear the pain alone. I was so miserable. I finally realized that my heart was raw from the loss—that I was somehow trying to find my comfort among dead men’s bones.”

  “Sometimes I feel so alone,” Mara confided. “If it weren’t for Joshua and his kindness, I don’t know what I would do.”

  “But why would you come to us if Joshua is at home? Surely you wouldn’t want to just leave him behind.”

  “He plans to leave. He’s decided to go back East and see about getting an education. He’s very well read, as I mentioned. I think college would be a good thing for him. He talked of having me come with him, but I know I would only slow him Down. He’d have to worry about supporting me and seeing that I was cared for.”

  “So you told him to go ahead without you?”

  Mara met her eyes. “Yes. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to say. But all the while I thought of you and your ranch. I know you have no reason to believe in me, but I hope you’ll help me.”

  “I want very much to help you,” Dianne said, “but I also want you to know the truth about the Lord. He loves you very much, Mara.”

  “I’d like to believe that.”

  “You can—and in time, you will.”

  The town gathered at the church around ten o’clock that night. The temperature was still quite warm, but no one seemed to think much about it. No one could think past the threat of the fire.

  Ben Hammond encouraged everyone to quiet down as he began to speak. “We have been told by our brave men who are plowing that the fire is only about half a mile from the furrows. The plowed ground is only about another mile from town. In a short time we will know whether the firebreak will save the town from destruction or whether we’ll need to evacuate.”

  He cleared his throat. “We have everyone standing by, with wagons ready to leave at a moment’s notice. I know you’re all worried about the outcome of this fire—about what might await us yet this evening. Truth be told, I’m not going to be able to give you much assurance in such matters. Fires seem to have their own way no matter how much we try to control or tame them.”

  Dianne saw the nods of her friends and family members. Faith and Malachi had slipped into the church and had come, along with their children, to sit beside Cole and Dianne. Faith reached over and slipped her hand into Dianne’s. Dianne looked up and found comfort in Faith’s smile.

  “If the word comes to evacuate, we’ll work together to keep one another from harm. Stewart Blackaby has offered the use of his ranch. His land is twenty miles northwest. We can push that direction and probably find safety. The winds have been prevailing from the west and hence the fire has pushed east. I think his land is probably as good a place as any to keep us out of harm’s way.”

  Dianne glanced to her husband. He held John on one knee and Micah on the other, while Luke sat between him and Dianne. Luke had been particularly loath to part from Barky, but Charity comforted both the boy and the dog by giving Barky a large bone to gnaw on in Luke’s absence.

  “I know many of you are afraid, but that is why we come together. As a family, we will work together to help and reassure one another. We’ve all brought certain provisions, and if we put our goods together, we can stretch them out over a longer period of time, with no one going hungry and no one suffering,” Ben continued.

  “In the book of Acts, the church came together and provided for one another. The Word says in the second chapter of Acts, ‘And all that believed were together, and had all things common; and sold their possessions and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need.’ The early church saw that it was right and good to take care of each other, and that is what we shall do as well.”

  Without warning, the back door flew open. Chester Lawrence stormed into the church as though he owned the place. “Have any of you seen my daughter or my wife?”

  “We were just sharing the Word of God,” Ben said firmly. “Please feel free to join us.”

  “I’m not here to join you. I haven’t got time for such nonsense. I want to know if you’ve seen my wife or daughter.”

  “I’m here,” Mara said, slowly rising to her feet.

  “What in the world are you doing here, girl? Your brothers and sister are at home packing in case the fire gets that far while you’re here playing church?”

  “I’m not playing at anything. I’ve been helping our neighbors.”

  Mara was standing in front of Dianne. She glanced back at the Selbys, as if pleading for help. John had begun to cry at the fierce bellowing of Chester Lawrence, so Dianne reached over and took him in her arms. She didn’t know how she could help the girl—she’d not even had a chance to speak to Cole about Mara since he’d returned with Luke.

  “Get out here, girl. We’re going back to the ranch. That fire is sure as sin going to burn this town to the ground.”

  “I’m not going back to the house,” Mara said, making her stand.

  Dianne wanted to cheer the girl, but at the same time she knew that the Bible spoke of honoring one’s father. She was torn, wondering how she could make this situation right. Then it came to her in a wash of peaceful understanding. This issue wasn’t hers to make right.

  Chester marched over to Mara. “Are you going to defy me? Here in front of everyone?”

  Mara leaned forward and whispered, “I don’t think you want me to explain why I’d rather remain here. I know a great deal about the workings of our ranch—if you get my meaning.”

  Chester pulled back abruptly, his eyes
narrowing. “Are you threatening me?” he asked in a voice that was barely audible.

  Mara met his angry stare. “I would never dream of threatening you. I’m merely suggesting we make our own brand of peace. For the sake of many—but especially for the sake of your industry.”

  Chester threw back his head and laughed. “Well, you stay here in town—go ahead. And how do you suppose you’re going to support yourself? Money doesn’t just fall out of the sky. There’s only a couple of ways a girl like you can earn a living. You going to start a new brothel? Maybe you could work at one of the saloons.”

  Dianne could take no more. She started to get to her feet, but Cole held her back. He looked at her and shook his head. Dianne seethed. How could he let this man speak in such a manner—and in church of all places?

  But before she could say a word, Cole got to his feet. He placed Micah on the pew, then turned to Mr. Lawrence. “I believe you’ve said enough. This meeting is intended to unify hearts and minds, but you’ve done nothing but stir dissension.”

  “Stay out of this, Selby. You have no right to interfere.”

  “I have a right. Your daughter has asked for my protection.”

  Chester’s expression contorted. “Protection? From me? She’s my child—my flesh and blood. You have no right to offer protection.”

  Cole stood his ground. “Nevertheless, she has asked for help, and I intend to give it.”

  Chester turned to the girl. “Is this true? Have you gone to my enemies—against me?”

  “They aren’t your enemies unless you make them that,” Mara said matter-of-factly. “The Selbys are good people. The others here are good people too, but you are too busy trying to destroy everyone else so you can take everything for yourself. You can’t even see what good there is.”

  “Have it your way. Go with Selby, if that’s what you like. But don’t ever show your face at my door again. When you’re in trouble—for whatever reason—don’t you come crawling back to me.”