To Dream Anew

by Tracie Peterson

  Mara nodded with conviction. Her choice had been made in front of a hundred witnesses. Dianne rejoiced in her husband’s stand against the ill-tempered Chester Lawrence. She had never been prouder of his actions.

  Lawrence turned to go, but he’d not even made it to the door before one of the men who’d been working the plow line entered the church. “The fire,” he said, gasping for air. Everyone turned to him, desperate to know the truth of what was happening. “The fire … has … jumped the break. We’re … going to have … to evacuate.”

  Joshua Lawrence settled into a rocker on the porch, watching for his father’s return. Everything had been made ready, but as the hours passed and there was no word, everyone had grown bored. Jerrod and Roy had decided to head out with the ranch hands and see to the herd. They’d made Joshua promise to wait until their father returned and to see the others to safety. Joshua resented their bossing him around, but at the same time he was almost sorry to see them go. He would have liked to have their strength and ability available should something go wrong.

  Elsa had finally gone to bed—at Joshua’s insistence—but he doubted that she was sleeping very well.

  Dozing in the chair, Joshua found himself dreaming of strange places—cities that seemed to go on and on forever. He was searching for something—some particular place—but he couldn’t find what he was looking for. Sometimes he startled awake, only to fall back asleep, dreaming once again of the same setting.

  The dream grew more vivid, almost as if he’d truly stepped into the scene.

  “What are you looking for, boy?” a gruff old sailor asked him.

  “I can’t find my way,” Joshua declared. “I need to locate this address.” He fumbled with a piece of paper only to realize it was blank. He looked up in confusion, but the old man was gone.

  He began pushing down the walkway, sometimes asking passersby for information, only to have them ignore him or shrug. “I can’t find my way. I don’t know where to go!” he shouted.

  When he woke up, Joshua was in a cold sweat and his body trembled in fear. He wondered at the time and yawned. Surely it was close to midnight. Maybe later. He got up and went into the house, glancing at the grandfather clock that stood at the far end of the foyer. It was nearly two in the morning. Where was their father? He should have been back by now.

  Joshua went upstairs to his parents’ bedroom, knowing that their window would afford him the best view of the fire’s progression. He searched the landscape to the south and saw the blaze. It was still far enough away that he had no reason to fear immediate danger. He breathed a sigh of relief. At least they were safe for the time being.

  The sound of a single rider approaching caused Joshua to abandon his post and run from the room. He jumped the first five stairs, stepped down one, then jumped another few. He landed not far from the bottom as his father came storming into the house. The man never walked into a place, but rather invaded it.

  “Where’s Jerrod and Roy?” he asked, not even acknowledging Joshua.

  “They’ve gone north with the herd.”

  “Where are the others? Did Portia show up?”

  Joshua shook his head. “No, and neither did Mara.”

  “Curse Mara. She’s a traitor to this family.”

  Joshua shook his head. “But why?”

  “She was with the Selbys. That’s where she’s been all this time, and with us sitting here in worry.” Chester beat his hat against his leg. “My own flesh and blood.”

  “Is she going to stay with them?” Joshua questioned, feeling almost a sense of relief for his sister.

  “If Selby has his way. He probably fancies her.”

  Joshua had no desire to hear his father talk in such a manner. “What about the fire?”

  “It jumped the fire line the town built. We’ll know by morning if it’s going to consume us. The wind’s been blowing to the east-northeast, so I’m thinking we may escape harm. Can’t hurt to be ready just in case.”

  “We’re all packed. I sent Elsa and Cook to bed a few hours ago. I promised them I’d wait up for you and watch the fire. By the way,” Joshua asked, wondering what his father might say, “do they know what started the fire?”

  “Lightning, most likely. Can’t say that anyone knows for sure, but that storm that blew up earlier had a great many lightning strikes.”

  Joshua nodded. Maybe his father really didn’t know about Portia starting the blaze. Maybe he hadn’t been a part of it.

  “Where are the others going to go if their ranches and the town is destroyed by the fire?”

  His father laughed harshly. “I don’t know, and I don’t care as long as they keep going away from this place. This is a good stroke of fortune for us. We’ll most likely escape the fire, but most everyone else has already seen their places destroyed. If I were a man who believed in God, I’d say He’s just blessed me with the desires of my heart.” He tossed his hat on the foyer table. “I’m going to bed. That fire isn’t going to reach us before dawn if it even comes this way. Get some sleep, and we’ll discuss what to do come morning.”

  Joshua bid his father good-night, then sank to the steps and wondered what to do. A part of him wanted to run to Mara—to ask the Selbys to take him in as they had done his sister. But then there was Elsa to consider. He hated to leave her behind. The feeling from his dream washed over him again and again. I don’t know where to go…. I can’t find my way .

  CHAPTER 32

  THE BLACKABY RANCH RESEMBLED A MINING TOWN WITH its makeshift tent village and outdoor camps. After two weeks of living in the smoky haze, rains finally came and put out the fire. Dianne knew most of the folks sharing her fate were probably homeless now—just as she was certain to be. Cole hadn’t even evacuated the property until the fire was burning the south pasture. No doubt the ranch house and outbuildings were gone.

  “It’s already September,” Dianne said as she and Cole sat sipping coffee early one morning. “What are we going to do?” The weather had remained warm, so that at least was a blessing for the many families who were forced to live outdoors.

  Cole stirred some sugar into his coffee. “I don’t know. I’ve been giving it a lot of thought, however. We’re more fortunate than most. You thought to bring my money box, and that will help us a great deal to rebuild. We might be able to get some supplies in here right away. Maybe even help some of the other folks to get supplies as well.”

  “There’s money in the bank at Virginia City,” Dianne commented. “I suppose we could use that too.”

  Cole smiled. “I knew you’d feel the same way.”

  Dianne met his loving gaze. “We’re all in the same fix now. We need to work together or we’ll never make it.”

  “Some are already making plans to leave the territory. Said it was just too hard to earn a living up here. I guess I understand them well enough.”

  “Are you saying you want to leave Montana?” Dianne asked, her chest tightening at the very thought.

  “No, this land speaks to me. God’s given me something through this land I never had—confidence. I believe everything will come around to good in this situation. Sure, the fire has been devastating, and, well … there’s always the chance that we could rebuild only to see it all burn down again. But it feels like the right thing to do. And then there’s the prideful side of me,” he added with a mischievous grin.

  “You, prideful?” she teased.

  “I won’t let this land defeat me. I belong here. So do you.”

  “Yes. I belong here. This is the land of my heart.”

  “Most of the cattle and horses survived, but the pastures are burned and useless, unless we move the livestock farther north,” Cole said, shaking his head. “Maybe we should sell off most of the stock. After all, it’s better to sell now than see them starve through the winter.”

  Dianne appreciated that he was discussing the matter with her. “Yes. I think you’re wise. The army posts would no doubt take most of the horses and probab
ly a good portion of the beef. If you can wait for the railroad, we could probably move them south to Utah and then east or west.”

  “But the railroad won’t be complete until winter,” Cole replied.

  “No. It won’t be complete to Butte. It’s already well into Montana Territory. We could simply drive the cattle to wherever the nearest depot is and load them up.”

  Cole grinned. “You’re a smart one. Guess it pays to talk these things over.”

  Dianne reached out and touched his face. “I love you more than life. I hate to think what I would have done if you had been lost in the fire. I can’t imagine the suffering Ardith is going through—not knowing for sure about Levi.”

  “Levi is gone. I feel certain of that. His horse was found wandering, and my guess is that he was overcome by smoke or that the fire came back on him. We’ll search better once we get back to the ranch. That was the other thing I wanted to talk to you about. Koko and Faith said they’d keep the children if you wanted to ride over to the ranch tomorrow with me and some of the ranch hands. It’s going to be quite a ride, so we’ll probably have to stay the night.”

  “I want to go,” Dianne admitted. “I need to go. I need to see what’s left—if anything.”

  “It won’t be easy.”

  She smiled. “Nothing up here ever is.”

  The group was set to ride out the next morning when Ardith showed up, pulling her sorrel mare behind her. “I want to go with you.”

  Cole seemed to understand. “Sure, Ardith. I wasn’t sure you’d want to leave in case … well … in case Levi showed up here.”

  “He’s not going to show up,” she said stoically. “He’s dead.”

  Dianne looked down from her mount. “Ardith, you don’t know that.”

  “Yes, I do. I feel it here,” she said, putting her hand to her heart. “If Levi were alive, he would have crawled here on his hands and knees if necessary. I think the sooner we accept his death, the better off we’ll all be.”

  “Do you have your things?” Cole asked. “We’ll be gone overnight. Did you arrange for Winona?”

  “She’s going to stay with Charity.”

  “Then mount up. We’re heading out,” Cole announced.

  The ride thoroughly discouraged Dianne. She’d had no idea what to expect, but as brown prairie grass changed to blackened stubble and ashen ground, she could only shake her head. The odor of burnt hay, grass, and pine was still heavy on the air. Tall charred sentinels were all that remained of the once lush, forested land. Dianne would have wept if Ardith hadn’t been along. How could she cry over the losses of the land when Ardith had lost her husband?

  “The ground will be rich and healthy once it starts to grow back,” Cole said, as if reading Dianne’s mind. “Fire never permanently hurts the land. It actually makes it better. Farmers oftentimes burn off the stubble and old vegetation in their fields to make a healthy start for the new crops.”

  “It’s just hard to see it like this,” Dianne commented softly. “So barren—so desolate.”

  “But it won’t stay like this forever. We need to remember that.”

  Dianne thought of Ardith and glanced over to where her sister rode apart from the others. George and Jamie had come too, along with several ranch hands. They all cut Ardith a wide berth, almost afraid to approach her for fear of reminding her of Levi.

  Would Ardith remain like this forever—desolate and barren? It had taken so long for her to love again—to hope again. How could she possibly face yet another sorrow in her life?

  How did anyone face the hard times? One step at a time? One moment at a time? Dianne remembered praying through the long days when Cole had disappeared. She knew what it was to wait and wonder. Most people would have believed Cole dead and buried, but she knew in her heart he was alive. Just as Ardith knew in her heart that Levi was dead.

  Oh, help her, Father, Dianne prayed. It’s so hard to see her like this—to know what she is feeling and thinking. I want her to know joy and happiness, and instead she’s once again facing the most devastating loss. Please help her .

  Dianne glanced out across the blackened cursed land. Help us all .

  They approached the Diamond V property around four o’clock, coming upon Dianne’s favorite hill. Dianne steadied herself for the sight but realized as the valley came into view that nothing could have prepared her for this.

  The fire had eaten away at everything—every standing structure. The fences and corrals were in blackened pieces; the barn and various buildings were nothing more than a few pieces of burned framing that had somehow managed to remain in place.

  The house—Uncle Bram’s house—was a total loss. Dianne felt tears trickle down her cheeks but did nothing to hide them. Rock chimneys remained as sad reminders of what had once been a glorious home.

  “Well, we’ve got our work cut out for us,” Gus said. “Ain’t gonna be easy, no sir. But we’ve got good men and we can do this.”

  Cole turned to him. “Do you really think so? Is it worth it? Bram’s dream has been destroyed.”

  “No it hasn’t!” declared Jamie. “My father’s dream was more than just the house.” He looked to George, and Dianne watched as his uncle nodded in agreement. “His dream was to make a home for his family—to tame the land—to raise cattle. His dream was to live out his life here and make a better way for his children.” He looked back on the valley and straightened. “We can rebuild. We are strong, and the Lord will help us.”

  Dianne knew Koko would have been very proud of her son in that moment. She would have been proud too of George. He had obviously influenced the boy’s thinking.

  Cole looked to Dianne. “What do you think?”

  Dianne wiped tears away with the back of her hand. “I think Jamie is right. We’re strong and able. We’ve seen worse, though not by much.” She looked down on the lonely ruins of her uncle’s dream. “We can do it. We’re Montanans.”

  Cole grinned and turned to Gus and the boys. “You heard the lady.”

  Some of the boys gave a holler and headed down into the valley as though they’d been offered Christmas dinner on silver platters.

  To Dianne’s surprise, Ardith began to ride down toward the house as well. Jamie followed her several paces behind. Only Gus and George remained with Cole and Dianne.

  “Where do we begin?” Cole asked the older man.

  Gus rubbed his chin. “Well, we need to make provision for the people and the animals first thing. Won’t be a chance to put together much in the way of a real home for some time—probably not until spring.”

  “We’ve got at least four weeks—maybe more—until it turns cold,” George said. “I would have said by the signs before the fire that we will have a mild winter—slow in coming.”

  “I agree with you,” Gus said. “I think that will be in our favor. Still, we need to get cabins up. There isn’t much good lumber left in the area, and hauling in logs from beyond the fire is going to be difficult. We’d need good freight wagons and plenty of help.”

  “Zane!” Dianne exclaimed. “Zane has the freight business. Maybe we can enlist his help.”

  “Good idea,” Cole replied. “I was thinking it would probably be best to have you and the children winter in Butte with him while I worked down here. But maybe he can send some of his wagons and men.”

  Dianne shook her head. “My place is with you.”

  All three men looked at her. “You’re going to have a baby in the middle of winter. You can’t be doing that without a warm house and help,” Cole began. “I know it’s hard to think of being separated for a time, but honestly, we need to be wise about this.”

  “Then set us up in Virginia City. Find a place for all of us there. We’re familiar with that place at least. Butte is far away and much too rowdy for the boys. Besides, I doubt Koko and George would be welcomed.”

  “She’s got a good point,” Gus admitted. “There’s a whole lot of folks in Virginia City. Chinese, a few Mexicans, and prob
ably some other half-breeds. They could probably live there without notice. The town has been failing ever since they moved the territorial capital to Helena. Folks are more worried about surviving than what color skin their neighbor has. Not only that, but because the population is drifting to larger towns, we might be able to pick up something cheap.”

  “We can check into that,” Cole said. “That would put everyone close enough to visit more often. However, the winter months—even if they’re mild—are going to keep us busy with the stock.”

  “I figure we should sell off a good number of the herd,” Gus said. “I think for the sake of rebuilding and because of the poor pastureland, we’d be smart to free ourselves up.”

  “That’s what Dianne and I discussed. It seems we could certainly sell a good number of the horses to the army. They’d pay less because they aren’t broken, but they’re good animals. We can always build another herd.”

  “How do we support ourselves in the meantime?” Dianne questioned. “If we aren’t raising cattle or horses, the money we get when we sell off is only going to last so long. Then what do we do about replenishing the stock when the time comes, if we don’t have a way to make a living?”

  “That’s something we definitely need to figure out,” Gus said.

  “Maybe we could take some of our money and expand on Zane’s freight business. After all, we’re going to need a way to get supplies into the valley for those who are remaining.”

  “But few people have anything left. Not everyone was doing as well as we were. You said yourself that a good number of people will give up their homesteads and leave for better pastures,” Dianne replied.

  “And we can’t cut wood and sell it,” George added. “There isn’t any wood to be had.”

  “Well, we know two things,” Gus began. “Those who stay will need supplies, and that new train line ain’t gonna cut a swath through the valley. At least not yet. Cole may have the best solution. Maybe we need to start by talkin’ to whoever is already freighting in Virginia City. Might be we could buy them out.”