Love In No Man's Land

by Duo Ji Zhuo Ga

  Feng quickly yanked the rope back in, gathered her strength once more, and hurled the stone again.

  This time it landed to Sega’s right, but she still couldn’t reach it.

  Feng pulled the rope back in and tried a third time. This time, it landed right in front of Sega. Sega quickly untied the rock and wrapped the rope around her wrists.

  Feng began to crawl backwards with the rope. When she reached her horse, she steadied her foot against a small heap of earth, leant back and used the horse to drag Sega out. The horse strained with all its might, neighing, and bit by bit pulled Sega out of the mud.

  When Sega finally reached safety, she freed herself from the rope, raced over to her own horse, ripped off her mud-soaked robe, ran into the lake and washed all the mud off herself. Then she raced back to Feng’s side.

  Feng had fallen unconscious. Sega didn’t even try to wake her, she just grabbed Feng’s arms, lifted her onto her own shoulders and carried her back to her horse. She laid Feng on the ground, searched through her bag, found a white vest, tore it into strips and used those to bind her wounds. She searched through Feng’s bag again and changed her out of her damp clothes. Then she tied Feng onto the horse and climbed up after her. Holding Feng in her arms, she cracked the whip and the horse clattered off towards the adjacent valley.

  *

  Gongzha sped away from Yongxi’s pasture, following the lakeshore.

  ‘Gongzha, I’ll miss you!’ Feng’s heartfelt cry at their last parting sounded in his ears and would not fade.

  He didn’t dare ride too fast for fear of missing any traces of her. Sega was a determined woman; she was like a female yak when she was angry, stirring up trouble without a thought, like when she’d given him Yongxi’s child as a hostage with no heed for the consequences. He didn’t want either Feng or Sega to get hurt. They were both good women, and both had their qualities. It was just that their qualities were not ones that, as a wanderer, he had any use for.

  When he saw the little yellow tent, Gongzha’s heart leapt with joy. He whipped his horse and galloped over, but all he found inside it was a sleeping bag. He stood up and surveyed the area. The sight of the crooked black trail on the ground scared him. Squatting down in disbelief, he lifted a handful of sand to his face; the stench of blood filled his nostrils. Then he saw Feng’s backpack and its scattered contents, and the dried blood on the pebbles on the shore.

  Finding the muddied robe nearby, Gongzha was confused. It was the one Sega usually wore – why would she have left it there, and why was it covered in mud? Then he saw the depression in the marsh and the traces of someone having been dragged out.

  ‘Feng…!’ Gongzha yelled repeatedly, but his only response was the echoes that bounced back from the mountains.

  He jumped back on his horse and tore off towards the hidden valley. There was no time to lose.

  The wind picked up and began to tumble the sand and the stones.

  *

  Sega thundered into the encampment, gripping Feng tight and yelling, ‘Auntie Yangji! Auntie Yangji, come and help me! Dawacuo, go and call Brother Qiangba to my tent and tell him to bring the medicine kit.’

  ‘What’s going on?’ Yangji came out her tent. Seeing a bloodied woman on the back of Sega’s horse, she was momentarily stunned. Then she quickly put down the bowl she was carrying and hurried over to help Sega lift the woman down.

  ‘What happened?’ Jijia also emerged from his tent. When he saw Feng, he was shocked. ‘Where did this woman come from?’

  ‘Don’t ask, Brother. She has nothing to do with you hunters,’ Sega said, and she and Yangji carried Feng to her own tent.

  Qiangba and Dawacuo followed them in. Qiangba stared at Feng’s wounds with wide-eyed surprise. ‘How did she get hurt so badly?’

  ‘What do you care? Just get a move on and patch her up,’ Sega snarled. ‘And if you don’t save her, if she dies, I’ll make you pay with your life!’

  ‘And if I do save her, what’s my reward?’ Qiangba shot Sega a suggestive look.

  Sega glared at him. Qiangba quickly controlled his smile and told Dawacuo to bring hot water and baijiu.

  He carefully cleaned the blood from around the wound, then doused it with the alcohol.

  Feng was confused. She was suddenly in a great deal of pain, so she opened her eyes and instinctively yelled out. When she saw that there were lots of people standing around her, some in fox-fur hats, some in sheepskin hats, and some not wearing hats but with their hair in topknots, she thought: am I in heaven? Why do the people in heaven look like the people on the grassland? She looked around and finally her gaze came to rest on a familiar pair of eyes. There was no hatred in those eyes any more; rather they were suffused with apology and concern. Had Sega died too? That was good: they’d both died and wouldn’t have to compete with each other any more. But Gongzha would be so lonely!

  ‘Don’t worry, everything’s going to be fine,’ Sega said. ‘Qiangba will make you better.’ She held Feng’s arm, which had been shaking from the pain.

  ‘We… haven’t… haven’t died?’ Feng looked into her eyes. They really were beautiful eyes, round and sparkling. Was Sega worried about her? Did Sega not hate her any more? Was she no longer prepared to kill in order to get her man?

  ‘You’re not dead. We’re both alive. Qiangba is looking after you; don’t worry.’ Sega smiled, and finally the tears fell. ‘Feng, I’m sorry. I was crazy, I didn’t know what I was doing.’

  ‘Don’t worry, Sega. I understand.’ Feng smiled and wanted to lift her hand and wipe away Sega’s tears, but she didn’t have the strength.

  ‘Where am I?’

  ‘No Man’s Land! You get better first, and then I’ll help you find him.’

  ‘Thank you, Sega.’

  ‘Right then, everything’s taken care of.’ Qiangba lifted his head, took several tablets out of his chuba and gave them to Sega. ‘Give her the first one tonight when the stars come out, and the next one four hours later. Tell your friend not to make any sudden moves or the wound will reopen. If after three days it hasn’t got infected, she’ll be fine; if it does get infected, even the Buddha won’t be able to save her.’

  Sega explained this to Feng in Mandarin, and Feng nodded. Sega and Yangji caressed Feng soothingly. Dawacuo brought in some beef broth to help the medicine go down, and then Feng fell into a deep sleep.

  Sega made Dawacuo watch over Feng in the tent and she and Yangji went out.

  The two women sat facing one another by the lake.

  ‘Did she really come to find Gongzha?’ Yangji asked.

  ‘Yes, Auntie. Do you know how far Shanghai is from here? Thousands of kilometres.’ Sega picked up a rock and played with it.

  ‘Then what are you going to do?’

  ‘Wait till she’s healed and then help her find Gongzha.’

  ‘You’re really going to give him up?’

  ‘What choice do I have? Besides, she saved my life. My life in exchange for the love she yearns for; that’s how it goes.’

  ‘Ah…’ Yangji sighed. ‘Gongzha is a lucky man.’

  ‘It’s fate. Auntie Yongxi once told me that if something isn’t in your destiny, no matter how hard you try and get it, it will never be yours. I didn’t believe her at the time, but I believe her now.’

  Yangji squeezed her hand, not knowing how to comfort her.

  *

  Feng slept straight through until the afternoon of the following day. When she opened her eyes, she saw that a young girl with long plaits was napping by the side of her bed, a small fox perched on her shoulder.

  When it saw that Feng was awake, the fox began to yelp. The little girl turned her head, smiled and said something in Tibetan. Feng responded with a blank expression, so the girl laughed, pointed to her stomach and made an eating gesture. Feng smiled and nodded. The little girl carefully helped Feng sit up, brought over a cushion to support her and then carried over a bowl. She began to feed her with a small spoon.

&n
bsp; When she’d got through half the bowl, Feng shook her head to show she was full. The little girl put down the bowl, brought over some medicine and cool water from the side, and fed that to Feng.

  Sega came in. When she saw Feng was awake, her eyes were full of guilt.

  Feng smiled. ‘I’m feeling much better. Thank you, Sega!’

  ‘It was me who hurt you in the first place, and you still thank me?’ Sega laughed and sat down beside the couch. ‘It’s a shame I’m not from the city.’

  ‘But you saved me in the end. You didn’t abandon me to the wilderness and the wolves.’ Feng gave Sega a half smile. Sega was wearing a sky-blue Tibetan dress, her freshly washed hair lay damp on her back, and she didn’t have any jewellery on. She looked clean and cool, totally different from when they’d first met. ‘You have a good heart, Sega.’

  Sega grinned. ‘I did think about throwing you to the wolves,’ she said in fluent Sichuanese-accented Mandarin, ‘but then I decided it would be a waste to let such a beautiful woman get eaten, so I brought you back here instead.’

  ‘That’s okay; you went down the wrong path, but then you changed course. I forgive you.’ Feng pretended to look stern.

  The two continued chatting in the same relaxed vein, the rancour between them slipping away. It was neither woman’s fault that they both loved the same man, nor was it either woman’s fault that they both sought his love in return. The fault was heaven’s for having planted the seed in both their hearts, for letting it grow, and for allowing it to leaf and flower when there was only a single ray of sun.

  Feng’s wound slowly began to heal over. She was able to move a little bit if she forced herself. She taught Dawacuo some simple Mandarin and the two began to communicate with gestures.

  Feng pointed outside and said, ‘I want to go outside and sit in the sun, Dawacuo.’

  ‘Hurt!’

  ‘Don’t worry, I’ll take it slowly.’ Feng pushed off the thick woollen blanket and swung her legs down.

  Dawacuo hurriedly helped her put on her shoes, then supported her as she tried to stand. When she was finally up, Feng gave a deep sigh. Just taking the tiniest step forward caused tremendous pain in her chest and shoulder. She clutched her chest and began shuffling out of the tent one step at a time.

  On the sandy ground outside, a group of people were cleaning bloody antelope pelts. When they saw Feng and Dawacuo, everyone raised their heads.

  They were killing sheep, that was Feng’s first thought. But then she saw several antelope heads scattered across the ground. They weren’t killing sheep – they were cleaning the pelts of Tibetan antelopes. Poachers! The word flashed through Feng’s head like a thunderbolt; it made her dizzy, and she had trouble standing. Could they really be poachers? These herders in the depths of the wilderness who’d so kindly helped a stranger back to recovery in their encampment, how could they be cold-blooded poachers?

  When Yangji saw Feng’s deathly white face, she hurried forward and blocked her path. She said quite a bit to Dawacuo and seemed to be scolding the girl for bringing Feng outside. Feng shook her head at Yangji, trying to signal it wasn’t Dawacuo’s fault and that it was she who’d wanted to come outside.

  Yangji clucked disapprovingly and accompanied Feng back to the tent.

  Feng dutifully sat on the cushion. ‘Is Sega not here?’ she asked Yangji.

  Yangji couldn’t understand Mandarin, but she understood the name ‘Sega’. She made the gesture for picking plants, trying to convey that Sega had gone looking for medicinal herbs.

  Feng laughed. With Dawacuo’s help, she slowly lay down and closed her eyes. Yangji realised she wouldn’t be doing any more talking and beckoned Dawacuo out.

  Feng didn’t sleep. She couldn’t erase what she’d just seen from her mind. Tibetan antelopes had been identified by the government as endangered and were a Class 1 protected species. She’d known there were people in No Man’s Land who rode the profit wave and killed antelopes despite the law, but it was still shocking to actually see it.

  Sega returned that night, with two snow lotuses in her hand.

  ‘I searched for a long time before I found them. What do you think?’ She held the lotuses under Feng’s nose. ‘Don’t they smell nice?’

  ‘Thank you, Sega.’ Feng smiled. She scanned the tent and on seeing that there was no one else there, said, ‘If I ask you something, Sega, will you give me an honest answer?’

  ‘Ask. I promise I won’t lie to you.’

  ‘The people outside, what are they doing?’

  ‘Have you heard of the shadow hunters?’

  ‘I heard Gongzha mention them. Are you really… poachers?’

  ‘Feng, this is No Man’s Land. We’re as much a part of the wilderness as the antelopes. The antelopes depend on grass to survive; we depend on the antelopes to make money. There’s nothing wrong with that.’

  ‘But they’ll become extinct soon.’

  ‘No, they won’t, Feng. Most of our ancestors hunted antelopes, and they’re still here. Besides, antelopes and wild asses compete with our yaks for pasture and the pastures are getting smaller; there just isn’t enough room for all of them.’

  ‘But the antelopes are a Class 1 protected species and it’s illegal to kill them. Don’t you know that what you’re doing is wrong?’

  ‘That’s a city law, it has no relevance in the wilderness. For us, if we need money to buy tents, guns or livestock, we see nothing wrong in killing a few antelopes. Let’s not talk about this. When you’re better, I’ll take you to find Gongzha – don’t concern yourself with things here. But I should warn you: don’t tell those people outside that you know Gongzha. He’s Brother Jijia’s sworn enemy and if Brother were to find out, I’m afraid things might not go well for you. Do you understand?’

  Feng nodded.

  ‘Good. I’ll go and find Yangji and get her to boil up the medicine, and then she’ll come and change your bandages.’ Sega smiled, took the snow lotuses and left.

  *

  Out in that great wilderness, the shadow hunters didn’t need to sneak around under the cover of darkness. They knew that no one would come searching for them by themselves, and if a group of strangers were to suddenly appear out there, it would be very obvious, giving the poachers ample time to disappear, stash their guns, change their clothes and hide anything that might implicate them. Those wild, bloodthirsty men could turn into sheep-driving herders in an instant.

  The change in the law had so far had no effect on the ongoing conflict between the poachers and those who opposed them. But Jijia had recently ordered his men to keep a close guard on the lake so that no one could get in or out. He was expecting the government to make a move sometime soon.

  Feng’s wound improved every day. She could now slowly move her arm, turn her body, and even walk a little. However, no matter where she went, there was always a pair of eyes watching her. At first, Feng thought people were concerned for her, worried she might knock into something, but as time went on, she realised that wasn’t it at all. Whenever she strayed too far from the encampment, someone would come and ask her to go back. Their tone was always polite, but even though she didn’t understand what they said, she knew there was no room for argument.

  As the days went by, Feng grew curious, and she began to pay attention to her surroundings. She worked out there were two ways into the encampment. One route wound through the mountain valley and took a little longer. The other involved crossing the lake in a boat. Both routes were overseen by guards and both sets of guards were changed at dawn. It would be impossible for anyone to get in without the guards noticing.

  ‘If there aren’t any surprises, you’ll be well in a month,’ Sega said as she carefully removed the bandages on Feng’s shoulder and peered at the black scabs. ‘Qiangba says you have to be careful when you move around. If the wound reopens, that’ll be a problem because we haven’t got anything to stop the bleeding here.’

  After her bandages had been changed, Feng held
Sega’s hand and said earnestly, ‘I don’t blame you for what happened, Sega. Love is a private thing that you can’t share with anyone. I understand.’

  Sega hugged Feng and wept. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll help you find him.’

  Feng looked her in the eyes and nodded.

  Qiangba came in carrying a bowl of medicine. He handed it to Sega and picked a wayward blade of grass out of her hair. Sega pushed his hand away impatiently.

  It suddenly occurred to Feng that if Gongzha had a woman like Sega, that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

  That night, she stood at the entrance to the encampment watching Sega race her horse back and forth along the lakeshore, her long plaits flying. The mountains shimmered and trembled in the rippling surface of the lake.

  Sega gave a loud whoop and twisted theatrically in the saddle: her arms hung loose, one of her feet left the stirrups, and in a flash she’d bent down and scooped a toad off the ground.

  Feng was envious. Only women who’d grown up in the wind and rain of the grassland could be that free. Sega was a true galsang flower of the plains, and only an eagle soaring high could be worthy of such a flower.

  Without warning, an image flashed into Feng’s mind of Gongzha and a woman roaming through the mountains and across the plains, past herds of asses, antelopes and yaks. Feng couldn’t see herself in that picture. Perhaps she really was just a guest there, someone who came, had a look around and then left.

  25

  A gentle breeze drifted across the grassland and the clouds were very white and soft. The lake shimmered like a bolt of blue silk unfurled across the wilderness.

  Dawacuo and Feng sat on the shore, staring at the distant peaks.

  Where in those mountains was the wanderer? When he stopped to rest, was it with anything like the longing that plagued Feng?

  Feng thought about everything she’d been through on her journey to this point; she’d endured a lot, and all because she cherished the prospect of finding him and being with him. But again she thought, was northern Tibet really the place for her? It was such an alien environment and such an alien way of life, could she really go with him on his wanderings?