Ruined by Shadows

by Lola StVil

  “There are twelve bars. Let’s take two each,” I say.

  Saudia shakes her head.

  “Atlas, these bars aren’t the sort of place you go to alone unless you know someone in there. You and Regal take four, Perry and Langston can take four, and Sadie and I will take the last four, assuming you’re up for that, Sadie?”

  Sadie nods.

  “Of course I am.”

  I don’t want to waste time arguing the point, and Saudia is tough. If she says these aren’t places you go to alone, then I’m inclined to believe her. I can’t risk someone getting hurt just to save half an hour.

  I quickly tell the other two pairs where they’ll be going, and then I turn to Regal.

  “You know where any of these places are?” I ask, showing him our section of the list.

  “Yeah. That one’s just up the road actually. Let’s start there.”

  I nod my agreement, and we head out.

  “Stay in touch, everyone. Even if you don’t find Kane, ask around, find out if anyone has seen him or knows where he might be.”

  Regal and I walk down the road towards the first bar.

  “How are you holding up, Atlas? Like really,” he asks.

  “Really? I’m not. Kane is missing, and that’s on me for being so damn judgmental in the first place.”

  “No, it isn’t. If he stops and really thinks about it, he’ll know you will see the truth of it. If we don’t find him today, I reckon that’s exactly what will happen. But that’s not what I meant. I meant—”

  “Yeah. I knew what you meant. And the thing is, I honestly don’t know. When I agreed to this, it didn’t feel real, you know? And the chances of us making it this far were so slim, I didn’t really believe I would even be here for this part. I felt like I had nothing to lose either way and sacrificing myself for the whole world, well that seemed like something worth doing. But now, I have you guys and Kane, and I… I don’t want to die, Regal,” I admit.

  It’s the first time I’ve said it out loud, and it sounds strange to admit it, but maybe it was stranger to pretend I’m okay with this.

  “It won’t come to that, Atlas. We’ll find another way. How many times have we faced the impossible and found a way around it?”

  I smile and nod.

  “I know we will,” I say.

  The truth is, I don’t know any such thing. What other way is there? You give someone your heart, you’re dead. If you don’t give it to them, you and everyone you love dies with you. But I don’t need the whole team to carry that burden. It’ll be easier for them to help me with this last task if they believe there’s hope.

  “Here we are,” Regal says.

  He nods towards an unmarked door on a residential block.

  “That’s the bar?” I say.

  He nods.

  “Yeah. The owners are wizards. They have it disguised as a house using a glamor. You’ll see the true place once we’re inside.”

  “Okay,” I say. “Let’s do it.”

  I step forward to open the door. As my hand touches the handle, I feel something heavy smash into my side. I fly through the air and go sprawling on the ground, a dead weight on top of me.

  “What the…?” I start.

  I look up into the black eyes of Carla the Valkyrie.

  I feel myself starting to fall into the pits of her eyes, my consciousness starting to fade, and I try to drag my eyes away from hers, but she holds my gaze intently, and I know there is nothing I can do to get her off me. The worst thing about her attack is that I don’t even know why she is here or what she thinks I did to her. The last time I saw her, she helped us. Grudgingly yes, but she still did it.

  Her weight is off me as quickly as it came, and my senses return. Regal holds Carla around her waist. She is bucking and writhing, trying to free herself and get back at me.

  “Carla, stop it,” Regal shouts. “It’s me, Regal.”

  “I know who you are,” she snaps.

  She doesn’t stop trying to free herself from his grip. I can practically hear her snarling and hissing like an angry cat. I step closer to them, careful to avoid looking Carla in the eye.

  “What the hell?” I demand. “What the fuck was that all about?”

  “Oh, don’t play innocent with me, you little whore,” Carla shouts.

  The venom in her voice makes me take a step back. I am so taken aback by it that it takes me a moment to register she called me a whore. Regal gets there before I do.

  “Carla,” Regal shouts, total shock in his voice. “Seriously, what the fuck is going on here?”

  I hear the bar door open behind me and footsteps approach us. I spin around, my palms raised. I’m not going to be caught off guard again. Another Valkyrie approaches, but she makes no move to attack me. She raises her own hands in surrender.

  “Whoa, easy tiger,” she says.

  Her Deep South accent makes me feel like she’s trying to calm an erratic mare. Maybe she is, I think. Maybe that’s what I am now.

  “This has nothing to do with me. I just came looking for Carla.”

  “Well, you found her,” I reply. “How drunk is she?”

  “Not drunk enough to be like this unless he did something to her,” she replies.

  “It wasn’t me she attacked. It was Atlas. What’d she supposedly do to you, Carla?” Regal snaps.

  While I was distracted by the new Valkyrie, Regal released Carla from his hold on her. She isn’t making any immediate attempt to throttle me, but I keep my guard up. She still looks like she might explode at any moment.

  “Like you don’t know. Let me tell you something, Regal. After I finish with her, you’re next. I’ve had my fill of this bullshit. I forgave Perry, but we were younger then, stupider. You know how I feel about fidelity and you did this anyway. I thought we were serious, Regal. Fuck, I thought we were the real deal. But little miss perfect here comes along and flutters her eyelashes and here you are.”

  What starts out as a shout ends up a desperate plea, and it all clicks into place with me.

  “You two are dating?” I ask.

  Carla turns to me.

  “Like you didn’t know,” she snaps.

  “I didn’t, but that’s not the point. Who Regal does or doesn’t date is none of my business because you’re wrong, Carla. I’m not sleeping with him, I have never slept with him, and I never will sleep with him. Why would I risk everything I have with Kane to sleep with Regal?”

  Regal steps between us, his back to me. He takes Carla’s hands in his and waits for her to look at him.

  “Carla, listen to me. I love you. Not Atlas. And I promise you nothing is happening between us. I know what Perry did to you hurt you whether you care to admit it or not, but I’m not him, and if this is going to work between us, I need you to trust me.”

  “I’m sorry. I really am trying to trust you, Regal. I want to so badly, and most of the time I do. I’m not a crazy person. I don’t stalk your Instagram or Facebook; I don’t try to track your phone or anything ridiculous like that. I’ve never hacked your email. By Valkyrie standards, I swear I’m pretty chill. But then I saw you here, with her of all people—”

  “Excuse me?” I interrupt. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  All of the fight goes out of Carla then. She gives a big sigh and her shoulders slump.

  “I didn’t mean it as an insult. I just meant you’re the one person I could never compete with,” she says.

  My mouth drops open.

  “Are you kidding me?” I blurt out. “Carla, do you even have a mirror? You’re fucking gorgeous; I don’t even come close to you.”

  The other Valkyrie barks out a laugh.

  “Hey Regal, maybe you’re the one who should be worried. Sounds like these two are about to make out and leave you out in the cold.”

  Carla, Regal, and I all glare at her at the exact same second. She laughs.

  “Too soon? Yeah, Rachel, way too soon. Jeez, girl, get a filter already.”
/>
  Carla turns back to me.

  “That’s not what I meant. I know Regal had a thing for you and I know what happened with him and Quinn, and well, it just makes me a bit paranoid. I’m sorry I attacked you.”

  I shrug. If I thought Kane was with someone else, I’m pretty sure I’d want to scratch that bitch’s eyeballs out.

  “No sweat,” I say. “But that was a long time ago, and it was a one-time mistake. Honestly, there’s nothing between us but friendship.”

  “At the risk of sounding like I’m accusing you of something, but I really just want to know, what on earth are you two doing here? There are much nicer bars if you want a celebratory drink, you know.”

  “You’re here,” Regal counters. “Why aren’t you in a nice bar?”

  “Yeah, but we pretty much have to drink in dive bars. Nice bars seem to have a problem with a group of drunken women breaking things and worrying their customers. These kinds of bars don’t care as long as your tab is paid and is more than enough to cover the damage.”

  “We’re here looking for Kane,” I interrupt. “You haven’t seen him, have you?”

  “No,” Carla says. “Why isn’t he celebrating with the team?”

  “He killed Talon last night, and he hasn’t been back since.”

  “He killed Talon? What the fuck?” Carla says.

  “Talon did something to me that I don’t want to go into, but let’s just say it was unforgivable. Kane dealt with it. I think he’s avoiding me because he doesn’t want the lecture about going back to the dark side. But the thing is, I don’t think what he did was wrong. I honestly think he did the world a favor.”

  “Wait, are you talking about the demon Kane?” Rachel says.

  I hate to think of Kane as a demon, but it doesn’t change the fact that he is one. He’s trying so hard to change, to be good, but ultimately, the whole shadow world knows him as a demon, and I resist the urge to snap at Rachel. She’s not using the term as an insult; she’s just making sure we’re talking about the same person.

  “Yeah. Is he in there?” I ask.

  Rachel shakes her head.

  “No. I saw him a couple of hours ago.”

  “Did he say where he was going?”

  Rachel nods, but she doesn’t elaborate. I am rapidly losing my patience with this, but I don’t want to get angry and have her refuse to help me. Luckily, Carla seems equally frustrated by Rachel’s reluctance to tell me where Kane went.

  “Fucking hell, Rachel. Just tell them where he is, will you?”

  “I… you’re not going to like it,” she says. “He told me he was going to the place where people go when they want to disappear.”

  I feel the spark of hope I felt when Rachel said she knew where he is extinguishing itself.

  “What use is that? That could mean anything,” I say.

  I am suddenly aware that Carla and Rachel are doing anything to avoid looking at me, and Regal is looking at me, but the expression on his face is one of utter horror.

  “Regal? What is it? What does she mean?” I demand.

  I can feel panic rising inside of me, its icy fingers running up and down my spine as I try to imagine what could be so bad as to make Regal avoid looking me in the eye as he replies.

  “It means he’s gone to the Land of Lost Souls.”

  If Regal thinks that telling me Kane’s gone to the Land of Lost Souls explains anything, then he’s very much mistaken. I don’t know what this Land of Lost Souls is, but I do know that it’s bad. I don’t have to know the first thing about it to know that. I can tell by the way that Carla and Rachel still won’t look at me, and Regal is already pacing up and down on the sidewalk.

  “It might not be too late to stop him. Rachel, when did you see him?”

  “I don’t remember exactly; I was drinking. But it was at least three hours ago because it was before Carla came.”

  “Dammit. If he had already made up his mind then, he’d be long gone.”

  “He’d made up his mind, Regal. It wasn’t like a throwaway idea when he said it. It was obvious he’d thought it through and resigned himself to it.”

  “What is this place? Why won’t anyone tell me what’s going on?” I demand. “Stop talking about this like I’m not here and explain it to me right now. I know you think it’s bad, and it probably is, but trust me, it can’t be as bad as what I’m imagining right now.”

  “Atlas,” Regal says, coming up to me and putting his hand on my shoulder. “I don’t know a lot about the place; Pest will be able to explain exactly how it works. But I do know this. When people go there, they don’t come back. I’m sorry.”

  I shake my head, not wanting to think about what that could mean.

  “It doesn’t matter whether or not Kane thinks he wants to come back. We’ll find him. We know where he is now. And we’ll make him see that we want him back,” I babble.

  “It doesn’t work that way, Atlas. No one comes back because once they’re in the Land of Lost Souls, there’s no way out. Look, I’m not explaining this well. I’m going to text the others and have them meet us back at the loft. Text Pest and tell him we need him there too.”

  I nod and pull out my cell phone. I’m still so confused, but Regal said himself he doesn’t know much about this place, so he has to be wrong about Kane being lost forever. Pest will know a way. Or Sadie. One of them has to because I can’t lose Kane. I won’t. I was ready to walk away from my entire team less than an hour ago to make sure that wouldn’t happen, and I will do whatever it takes now to get Kane back.

  Regal is still taking charge, and for the moment, I let him.

  “Carla, Rachel, want to tag along?”

  “Sure,” Carla says.

  Rachel shrugs. “Have you got anything to drink back there?”

  Regal rolls his eyes and ignores the question, but as we begin to walk back to the loft, Rachel falls into step beside Carla.

  We arrive back at the loft a lot quicker than we got to the bar. The urgency is making me feel even more panicked.

  “You two go on in. Carla and I just need a moment,” Regal says.

  Rachel and I enter the loft. Perry and Langston are already back.

  “What’s going on, Atlas?” Langston asks. “Regal’s text made no sense at all.”

  “I honestly don’t know. Something about the Land of Lost Souls,” I reply.

  “I’ve never heard of it.” Langston frowns.

  “You and me both,” I agree.

  “Who’s the newbie?” Perry pipes up.

  “This is Rachel,” I say. “She’s a friend of—”

  “Carla,” Perry finishes.

  I frown. If he already knew that, then why did he ask? I realize he’s no longer looking at me. He’s looking at the door where Carla and Regal have come in.

  “Well, if it isn’t Casanova himself,” Carla says. She looks at Langston. “And the new girlfriend. Or is she one of the mistresses? I never could work out whether all the girls you date at once think they’re your girlfriend, or whether some of them know that they’re just a bit of fun on the side.”

  “It wasn’t like that,” Perry says.

  Langston doesn’t say anything, she just glares. Strangely, she doesn’t glare at Carla; she glares at Perry. Maybe she thinks there’s some truth to Carla’s words.

  “So you said. Poor little Perry just couldn’t bear to break a heart, because obviously, he was such a catch that saying thanks but no thanks to any girl would have been too soul-crushing for her,” Carla retorts.

  “It seems like you’re still bitter about it all, so maybe it would have broken hearts,” Langston says, finally directing her ice-cold glare to Carla.

  “Bitter? No. Betrayed? Yes. He told me he loved me while he was sleeping with my best friend, among others. I think I have a right to be a little bit pissed off about that, don’t you?”

  “You told her you loved her?” Langston asks Perry quietly.

  “I told them all I loved them. It
was what they wanted to hear,” Perry says.

  I cringe. Talk about the wrong thing to say.

  “Oh great. I’ll keep that in mind,” Langston says.

  “Langston, don’t be like that,” Perry says, going to her side. “It was a long time ago, and I’ve changed. You know that. I told you I love you because I do.”

  “And how many others are you telling the same thing?” Langston asks. “Her?”

  She gestures towards Carla, who snorts with derision.

  “No others. Now I’m with you, I don’t need anyone else,” Perry says.

  He turns to Regal.

  “Why the fuck did you bring her here? Surely you knew this would happen.”

  “I brought her here because she’s my girlfriend,” Regal announces.

  Perry snorts out a laugh. Regal stares at him and the laugh dies.

  “Shit. You’re serious, aren’t you?” Perry says.

  Regal nods.

  “Yeah. Why would that be so funny?”

  “I don’t know; a little thing called the bro code. You don’t date your friend’s exes. It’s just icky,” Perry says.

  “Normally I’d agree, but from the sounds of things, if I avoided all of your exes, I’d never date again,” Regal says.

  “That’s not true,” Perry says. “You could date Atlas.”

  “Hey, leave me out of it,” I say.

  “Sorry,” Perry says. “And Carla, I’m going to say this one more time and then I’m done. I’m sorry I hurt you. I really am. But it was a long time ago. I’ve moved on, and you obviously have too, so can’t we just let it go?”

  “I’m already over it, Perry. The way you treated me made me appreciate how I actually deserve to be treated. It’s just so much fun to wind you up. I’ve had my fun now. I’ll let it go.”

  “You don’t get to--” Perry begins.

  “That’s enough, boys,” Sadie says as she and Saudia come into the loft closely followed by Pest. “We have more important things to discuss than who is dating who.”

  I spin to face Pest, forgetting the argument of a moment ago.

  “Pest, can you explain to me what’s going on here?” I demand.

  “Yes, of course. But you’re not going to like it, Atlas.”