Almost Loved

by Mira Toria

  “Sorry, what am I dressed for?” She was having a hard time processing that he was at her house and everything he said went way over her head. “Wait, no, ignore that question. What are you doing here?”

  He looked oddly proud of himself and Lyris dreaded his answer.

  “I’m taking you out on that promised date.”

  The notion of a date caused Lyris to bark out a laugh. “I don’t think so, Hale.”

  “Why?” Hale stepped forwards and pierced her with his gaze. “I thought you wanted to talk.”

  She tried to speak but the words clung to the roof of her mouth. He got her there.

  “There was never a package.” Lyris exhaled and silently congratulated West. “That rat bastard tricked me.”

  “Ready to go?” Hale asked her.

  “Not entirely sure I want to go on a date,” she said. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

  “I’m not sure what you do on your dates Ly, but I usually talk when I’m on mine.”

  He almost got a smile out of her. Almost.

  “I’m just not in the right mind space for a date, Hale.” She didn’t want to lead him on because she did promise herself she would get her head on straight first, but he was making it difficult.

  “Okay fine, not a date. How about you and I just ‘hang out.’” He emphasized it by making finger motions. “And since you like putting labels on everything, this is a non-date. It’s so the opposite of a date, I’m going to be right at home with picking my nose if I get an itch.”

  “You are so attractive when you talk dirty.” Lyris snorted. “But okay.”

  She put a hand on his chest and watched his eyes widen before she took the opportunity to shut the door.

  Leaning against the door, she giggled in spite of herself. There was just something about Hale that made her warm inside.

  “Lyris.” Hale called her name through the crack of the door and dragged it out. “Lyyyyris, come on!”

  “I’m grabbing a jacket,” she shouted back.

  Throwing her jacket on, she took a peek in the mirror to check her hair. It was still damp from the shower she took earlier, but it would have to do. Grabbing a hair elastic off the counter, she snapped it around her wrist.

  “What are we going to do?” She walked next to him with her hands in her pockets to keep herself from snapping the elastic of her nerves.

  Hale threw the helmet he had in his hand towards her. “Put that on.”

  She stared blankly at the helmet in her hands before asking, “We’re going on a bike?”

  “My bike.” He corrected her, pulling his own helmet on. “I’d put that helmet on if I were you. We don’t really want this,” he put his fingers up and made quotations, “‘friendly outing’ to end at a hospital.”

  Lyris rolled her eyes by complied. Hale put his finger on the visor, flipping it open and she found herself staring into his eyes without blinking.

  Butterflies fluttered in her stomach and she swallowed hard as she felt tempted to pull him into the house to do something that would absolutely cross the ‘friendly outing’ line.

  “Huh, you look almost cute with that on.” Even with the helmet on, Lyris could tell that he was smiling underneath. He threw his leg over his bike before gesturing to Lyris.

  “Thanks for the almost compliment.”

  “You know,” he said. “I’ve decided something.”

  “What is it?” she asked warily.

  “You’re cute when you’re cheeky.” He laughed and turned his head to flip up her visor again and she scowled as he tapped her nose. “Come on Ly, I know this is a non-date, but we don’t really have all day.”

  Flipping the visor back down, Lyris plopped herself onto the bike and found that she was practically curving her body to Hale’s.

  “Hold on tight,” he said.

  “Hold on to what?” She was trying to keep the panic from seeping out of her voice. “There’s nothing on here! I thought there were supposed to be handles somewhere on these things!”

  Hale took his hand and pointed to himself. “Your best bet is to hold onto me.”

  “Oh I bet – Ah!” Without warning, Hale took off and without thinking, she wrapped her arms around his waist. She would’ve been annoyed with him if she didn’t literally feel the rumble of his laughter on her fingertips.

  His laugh was as infectious as it was when she first heard it. Uninhibited and pure in its entirety like he was really laughing for the sake of being happy and not for anyone’s benefit.

  The bike eventually slowed down and she took off her helmet to see where Hale had taken her.

  “This is like the start of a horror movie,” she commented. Her eyes flickered left and right to see if she would recognise any landmarks.

  “Ah, but where’s the blonde bimbo we need to complete the cast?”

  “The blonde bimbo is actually back in my café and since we’re missing a few people to actually recreate a horror movie, what else do you have planned?”

  Hale pointed to the fence that surrounded a steep hill. “We’re going to climb that.” He sounded proud but Lyris only cocked an eyebrow in distain.

  “You’re going to climb that,” she corrected him. “I’m going to stay here.”

  “You’re going to stay here by yourself, in the dark, in a parking lot?” Hale’s question challenged her. “I know we were joking about the horror movie Lyris, but you can stay. I can’t promise that I’ll be able to come save you from the crazy man wielding a chainsaw though. Self-perseverance and all.” The corner of his mouth lifted as he saw her resolve weakening. “Besides, this is a non-date, right? I don’t think I’m obligated to protect you.”

  Her eye twitched as he used the non-date rule against her. She had to hand it to him, he really knew which buttons to press.

  Give a man some ammunition and he’ll never let it go.

  Lyris glanced around the lot and realised the truth in Hale’s words. “Fine,” she said slowly, pretending to be timid with her answer. “But if you really want to climb the hill. . .” She touched the fence gingerly and batted her eyes at Hale like she was torn about something before cracking a full on grin. “We’re going to race!”

  Yelping as she climbed the fence, Lyris sprinted up the hill as fast as she could but before she knew it, footsteps gained up behind her quickly as Hale winked.

  “See you at the top, Lyris.”

  Screaming and laughing at the same time, Lyris chased after him but found herself just a few seconds behind. Stopping at the top to catch her breath, Lyris looked around to see where they were and why Hale seemed hell bent on this place.

  Now that she was up on the hill, it seemed almost silly that she’d be asking why he wanted to bring her up because she couldn’t find a reason why he wouldn’t want to. From where she stood, it was as if she were on top of the world with how clear and uncontaminated everything looked. She felt so close to the sky, she would’ve believed she could touch it.

  “It’s nice up here, isn’t it?” Hale stood next to her as she admired the sky. “This is probably one of my favourite places in the world.”

  “I think it’s one of my new favourites.” She turned to him and smiled. “Thanks for bringing me up here.”

  “Wait here, alright?” Hale didn’t give her a chance to respond before he jogged off somewhere.

  “If I hear a chainsaw, I’m running,” she shouted at his retreating back. “Self-perseverance and all!”

  Not wanting to stand, she dropped onto the ground and admired the stars above. She wished she had known about this place before. It would’ve been the perfect escape from Bradley. She felt untouchable here.

  “You know,” Hale’s voice broke through her thoughts. “It looks better if you’re lying down.”

  She turned and saw him carrying a bag in his left hand. “What’s in the bag? Fireworks? Is that why we’re up here?”

  Hale grinned and plopped down onto the grass with her before unzipping it open with
unnecessarily flair, pulling out sandwiches. “As fulfilling as fireworks are, I have something else – dinner.”

  Lyris clutched her chest and sighed with exaggerated relief. “Hale, you really pull out all the stops, didn’t you? Sandwiches? Best non-date ever.”

  “I couldn’t exactly bring a steak to the hill.” He grabbed a can of pop and tossed to towards her. “Sorry if you’re disappointed.”

  “You had this all planned, did you?” Lyris grinned as she grabbed the turkey avocado. “A little annoyed that you assumed I’d come though.”

  “I did.” Hale admitted it shamelessly and shrugged. “If you really didn’t want to come, I would’ve come up here myself.” He grabbed the pastrami and raised his can of pop to her. “To friends?”

  “To friends,” she said warmly, truly believing they had reached that point.

  It was as if they’d both reached a point where they found a rhythm they both understood and followed. The silence that settled between them was as comforting as conversation.

  “I still can’t believe West had me believing he had a package for me to pick up,” she grumbled thickly through a mouthful of bread.

  “He can be cunning when he wants to be.” Hale grabbed another sandwich for himself, looking proud that he and West managed to pull off the plan. “So, tell me why you decided to leave the two crazies in the store themselves.”

  “West, surprisingly enough, isn’t that big of a disaster in the kitchen as you’d expect.” She took a drink and paused as something occurred to her. “Don’t tell him I said that or he’ll never let me forget it. He’s annoying enough as it is.”

  “Are you happy you came?” Hale asked her.

  Smirking, she turned to face him. “Guess you’re not as bad as I thought you were.”

  Hale was staring at her so intently, Lyris forced herself to focus elsewhere. It was as if he was looking straight at her, uncandidly and without distraction. It made her feel exposed and the feeling made her wonder what Hale really thought of her and what he saw.

  “But I really do want to talk,” she said, changing the topic. Being around him was dangerously distracting – she nearly forgot about what she really wanted to talk to him about.

  “What about?”

  “I’m not really the greatest person to get mixed up with right now,” she explained. “I had a relationship not too long ago and. . . and I’m not sure I’m completely over everything.”

  She frowned as she thought of her word choice. It wasn’t the best way for her to explain Bradley, but she wasn’t sure how else to put it without being forced to tell him the whole story. It was a horrible thing to do, to be purposely evasive, but it was as honest as she could be right now. Evey was right, she shouldn’t be jumping into something new when her mind was all over the place.

  “Were you in a relationship when I first met you?” Any trace of teasing was gone and Hale seemed as serious as she was.

  “No,” she said firmly. Hale let out a sigh of relief at her words. Trying to lighten up the mood, she nudged him with her foot. “What is this, Hale? 21 questions?”

  It worked because the corner of his mouth twitched. “Only if it’s unrated.”

  “Get your mind out of the gutter,” she laughed, reaching out to pinch his nose.

  Hale caught her hand before she pulled it away. He held on, threading his fingers through hers, unconsciously sending a shot of heat all the way down to her toes and back.

  It was unnerving how responsive she was to him – physically and mentally.

  There was a part of her that she’d been holding back since she met Bradley, but Hale managed to make it so that holding back wouldn’t be an option.

  She warmed to him, joking and teasing like she’d known him for years instead of just a little over a month. And when he touched her just ever so slightly like he was now, her body reacted as if it could never get enough, an appetite so insatiable she never wanted him to stop.

  Taking a deep, shuddering breath, she hoped that it was dark enough that he wouldn’t see her blush deeper with each minute he traced the lines on her hand. Her hands looked small next to his and being close to him made her feel safe – safer than she’d felt for a long time.

  “I suppose I’ll start,” he said, still brushing his fingers across her hand. “How many relationships have you had?”

  Lyris considered lying – there was a part of her that never wanted to admit it ever happened – but there was something about Hale that made her do otherwise.

  “I only ever had one real relationship and that was with Bradley.” She spoke in a voice so small she could barely hear herself. Speaking Bradley’s name made her pull away from Hale gently. She had to be fair to him and giving him the wrong impression was far from fair. “And like I just said, that didn’t end too well.”

  Hale nodded but his eyes flashed at the name. “Your turn.”

  “Same question.”

  He rolled a piece of plastic between his fingers before crushing it with his hand and throwing it into a bag. Something told her that their game of 21 questions started off with a question that hit a chord with both of them.

  “I’ve had a few relationships, but only one that lasted in the past,” he said, his tone too casual to be anything but. “Annabelle.”

  She guessed that something happened that ended their relationship, just like something had happened to her and Bradley, but she didn’t push him any further. It was one thing to test the waters and another thing to dive in unknowingly.

  “Are you always this persistent with every girl that rejects you?”

  He held in his grin in check but Lyris saw the corners of his eyes crinkle up slightly – a tell that he was laughing silently. “What makes you think I have people rejecting me on a daily basis?”

  “Hey.” She kicked his foot. “I asked the question first.”

  “No, I’m not always this persistent.”

  Her stomach knotted and she swallowed hard and looked straight up at the sky. “Why me?”

  “I think it’s my turn to ask the question,” he reminded her. “Do you purposely make it hard for me or is this the standard for everyone?”

  “I’m usually more timid around other people. But you kind of annoy and intrigue me at the same time so I purposely tease you just because it’s what you do to me as well.”

  “Always love hearing about how I set myself up for a rough life,” he joked.

  Her voice softened as she asked her next question. “Why me?”

  Hale turned to his side, gently pulled her towards him until they were face-to-face. “Why wouldn’t I try?”

  “Answering my question with another is a cop out. Why me? I’m not exactly the greatest conversationalist and I’m sure you’ve noticed that there’s something about me that isn’t really there. Why would you want to know someone that’s so withdrawn? So withdrawn she has a hard time giving what she receives?”

  He took his time answering her, brushing his thumb across her bottom lip, painstakingly slow, but ever so gently it would’ve gone unnoticed save for the increased beating in her chest.

  “Because I caught a glimpse of what you’re really like and there’s something to be said about that.” Hale tucked a pieced of her hair behind her ear and used the opportunity to trace a finger across her cheeks. “I saw you at the fashion show, cheeky and witty to banter, but then I saw you reeling yourself in only moments later and I wanted to know why. I still want to know why.”

  “You didn’t see me at the fashion show.” Lyris looked away from him. “You saw the real me when you came into the café that day.”

  “No,” he said firmly. “I saw the person you want everyone else to see, but the real you was at the fashion show. The one that sassed me when I appeared at your door earlier today, that’s who you really are, Lyris. I’m persistent because I want to see what it is that makes Evey, West and Leon the exception to your self-inflicted rule.”

  Lyris didn’t know what to say becau
se she never expected him to answer her like this. “I think,” she said softly, “I think I like this Hale most.”

  His eyebrows raised in confusion. “What do you mean?”

  “The one that’s not all games and pick up lines,” she smiled. “The real one that doesn’t pretend. The one that pretends not to notice or care about anything.”

  Hale’s expression looked frightened for a moment, like he realised he let his guard down as much as she did tonight. Clearing his throat, he looked the other way. “You’re close to your sister, aren’t you?”

  “She’s my sister,” Lyris shrugged. “I don’t really know if there’s another explanation. You know what it’s like.”

  “Not really.” Hale crossed his arms behind his head. “I’m an only child.”

  “Are you really close to your parents then?”

  “No.” It was a single word but something about it was final, like he was set on making sure no more questions about his family would be asked. He seemed to sense the change in tension because he turned to her. “I’m rather envious of your relationship with West and Evey, you know.”

  “Why?”

  “They’re like an extended family to you, aren’t they?”

  Lyris laughed quietly as she thought about what he said. “I guess they are.”

  “Must be nice,” he mused. It didn’t sound as if he had meant for her to hear it because there was a forlorn look in his eyes as he looked ahead.

  She wanted to pry just a little further, but a bright light blinded them before she got the chance.

  “What are you kids doing here? This is private property!” An old man bellowed at them, waving his flashlight. “Get the hell out of here!”

  “I think that’s our cue.” Hale jumped up and grabbed her hand before they ran the opposite direction from the man.

  The shot from behind them told her the man didn’t only have a flashlight on him, but a gun as well. “Come back here, you hooligans! I’ll teach you a lesson about trespassing!”

  “You never told me we would be trespassing!” she screamed.