What Hurts The Most 3

by Tynessa

  “Don’t-Don’t touch me!”

  “Man, Shay I didn’t mean it!” I said as a single tear rolled down my left cheek. It broke my heart that I’d just said that to her. That was something that a mother never wanted to hear–especially a wonderful mother like Shay.

  “Just take them and go! Maybe you’re right. They don’t deserve me.”

  With that, Shay slowly walked up the stairs. I wanted to go after her, because I didn’t want to leave her there by herself, especially knowing what I had just said fucked up her head. That shit was totally out of anger, and I wasn’t thinking when I said that dumb shit. Blowing out a frustrating breath, I took one last look up the stairs before walking out the front door.

  My plans were to just take the kids to Dave and Buster’s myself, but after the little altercation I’d just had with Shay, I wasn’t up for it, so I headed straight to Bree’s house. I didn’t really want to takes my kids over there, but where else was I to go? I was all fucked up with the shit I had said to Shay, and next time I was going to think before I said some dumb shit like that again.

  Chapter 12

  Making Things Right!

  Jay’vion

  I could tell my brother was fucked up over what Kacey had just said about Tan being pregnant, because he was sitting over there looking like he’d just lost his best friend. He couldn’t be mad at anyone but himself for even falling for Tan the way he did, knowing she already had a nigga. That was stupid on his part right there.

  “That shit fucking with you, ain’t it?” I asked Tez as I passed him the blunt I’d just rolled. He took it, then got off the couch.

  “Nah, I’m good!” he said over his shoulder as he headed to the kitchen with me right behind him.

  “See, I told you not to fuck with Tan in the first place, but nah, you wasn’t trying to hear shit I had to say. You brought this on yourself. Falling all in love and shit. I thought I raised you better than that,” I laughed. Tez took his second shot of Hennessey to the head before staring at me.

  “Shut the fuck up Jay, damn! Ain’t nobody thinking about that shit. I got my own girl so why would I be upset about another nigga’s bitch?”

  “Yea mothafucka, you mad!” I continued to laugh, but he didn’t. “Man cheer up. She might be pregnant by Kace, but the damn girl is in love with you. Even Kacey can see that shit. That’s why he made it a point to bring up her pregnancy tonight. He knew exactly what he was doing.”

  “It don’t even matter. I got Grisela now, so I’m good. Come on, let’s go.” Grabbing the bottle of Henny, Tez walked off and once again I followed.

  “Yo, you think you need to be drinking while on medication?” I asked him. He was now standing by the door taking the shot of Patrón to the head. When he took it down, he burped loudly and walked out the door. I could do nothing but shake my head. Lil bruh was fucked up in the head.

  It felt good to be back in the streets with my nigga Tez. We was ready for war. We pulled up to the projects blasting Pastor Troy: Vica Versa. When we got out, we were greeted by all the hood niggas and chicks out there. All we did was hit them with head nods and kept it moving. Until we find out who was behind the shooting, that’s all a mothafucka was getting from us.

  We walked in and checked everything out to make sure things were straight, and it was. We had all new goons, and they were doing a damn good job at bringing in the cash. When we got back outside and to my car, it was like somebody had set my body on fire. My blood was steaming.

  “What’s up Tez? What up Jay?” asked Rico. He was one of the fuckers that was around when our shit went missing.

  “What the fuck ya’ll doing here? Ya’ll got our shit?” is what Tez asked. He got straight to the point. Meanwhile, I stood there eyeing those mothafucka like they were crazy. I had both hands on two nines that were tucked in my pants while Tez had his right hand on his waistband. I assume he had his tool tucked there.

  “Actually we came to talk to ya’ll,” B spoke up. You would think the mothafucka knew we meant business about them not coming back around until they had our shit, but those mothafuckas were testing me and my brother. Tez had already sent off a warning shot by Chuck, but I guess they was calling his bluff.

  “Fuck ya’ll wanna talk to us about? If it ain’t about the money, I don’t wanna hear it,” said Tez.

  “Man, that nigga Lo been bugging real hard lately,” explained B as if we really cared about Lo bugging out.

  “What the fuck you telling us that for?” I asked.

  “That nigga talking about taking you out, Tez. For good! I don’t know what you did to him, but he want you gone,” Rico said, and that quickly got our attention. It had me wondering did that nigga have something to do with my brother getting shot, and I guess Tez was wondering the same thing

  “Did that fuck boy have something to do with me getting shot?” Tez took the words right out my mouth and asked.

  Rico looked Tez dead in the eyes and said, “I can’t say if he did or didn’t, but I wouldn’t put it past him.” Tez was sitting on the hood of my car not saying a word, but I could tell he was furious. “He wanted us in on that shit, but I wasn’t feeling it,” Rico went on to say.

  Tez pulled his gun out and pointed it towards B, “How we know ya’ll ain’t lying?” Though he had the gun drawn on B, he was looking dead at Rico. Those niggas better run for their lives. Lil bruh was fucked up over Tan and he’d been drinking; somebody was liable to get smoked around here.

  “Man, ya’ll ain’t been nothing but good to us so why bite the hand that feeds us for a nigga like Lo?” B spoke up, not budging at the gun that was being pointed directly in his face. Finally, I spoke up and told Tez to chill out. I then looked over at Rico.

  “Where that nigga at?” I asked.

  “I really don’t know, I haven’t seen him today,” he answered.

  “Call him up,” I demanded as I took a seat on the hood of my car.

  Rico took out his cell phone without hesitation and asked, “What you want me to say?”

  “Tell him you want in,” Tez stated calmly.

  We sat there and listened to their conversation, and once Rico told Lo he wanted in, there was excitement being heard in Lo’s voice. I knew it probably hurt my brother more than it was hurting me to hear the nigga we looked at as our brother plot on killing him. I just shook my head as Lo started running shit to Rico on how he was gonna take Tez out, and me too if he had to. After getting an ear full, Rico told Lo he would call him back and quickly hung up. He’d been acting all grimy and shit lately, but to hear him actually talk about it was a shocker to me. Tez laughed.

  “Man that mothafucka gots to be crazy,” I said, shaking his head. I was fucking heated and my trigger finger itched like something serious. “Let’s go take that nigga out!” I was already walking around to the driver side of my ride.

  “Jay, chill the fuck out, we can’t just run over there shooting up the nigga’s house with those babies in there,” Tez said to me before turning back to Rico. “Aye Rico, give me a call tomorrow.” When Rico told him that he would, we got in the car and peeled off. All that was on my mind was killing Lo’s ass. I knew that nigga wasn’t the only one in on this shit, and I better not find out that those two mothafuckas had something to do with it.

  “Man what the fuck my dude,” I said to Tez when we pulled off. I was sick of this nigga raining on my parade. I was ready to murk that nigga Lo and whoever else he had on his little ass team, but Tez was always trying to plan shit out. He looked over at me, told me his plan, and I smiled because for once I was satisfied and couldn’t wait for this shit to jump off.

  Tez told me to drop him off at Grisela’s house, and I did. His ass was about fucked up from the Henny he took from my crib, but I was pretty sure his girl would take good care of him. Before I left, I told her to make sure he took his ass to sleep and don’t let him take any pain medicine—which I doubt he would need it. That liquor was gon’ knock his ass right out. Once I left there, I
headed straight to Stacy house. I hadn’t seen her since I saw her at the hospital after I put my foot in her ass, and I think I owed her an apology.

  I silently thanked God when I saw that Coo-Coo’s car wasn’t there. I swear, I couldn’t stand her dumb ass. Knocking on the door, I waited for it to be answered. I didn’t have to wait too long before Stacy opened it. I could tell she was pissed at me, because she couldn’t even look me in the face.

  “So, I can’t come in?” I asked her. Turning around, Stacy just walked to the back of the house, not saying a word to me. I just closed the door and followed her to her bedroom. When I walked in, she was already sitting on the bed.

  “I know you upset with me, but I want to apologize. I should’ve never put my hands on you, but you have to understand where I was coming from—” I said before she cut me off.

  “Understand where you was coming from? Really Jay?” Stacy screamed as she jumped off the bed and was now standing in my face.

  “Yea, understand where I was coming from! I mean, I’ve asked you time and time again was that you that showed the picture or had the ring and you told me it wasn’t and when I found the shit I just spazzed out,” I explained to her. I didn’t mean for it to go that far, but it happened and there was nothing I could do about it. It is what it is.

  “So it’s okay for you to beat my ass because you found a picture and little funky ass ring in here?” By now, Stacy had tears rolling down her cheeks as she stared up at me. I was unable to look her in the face so I turned my head. “Huh Jay? Was it okay for you to beat my ass and cause me to lose our baby?” She hit my chest with each word she spoke as the tears fell freely down her face.

  “Wait a fucking minute? What baby?” I asked. Stacy never said shit to me about her being pregnant. That shit just fucked up my head knowing that I had put my hands on her while she was pregnant.

  “Nigga don’t fucking worry about. You killed it!” Once again, she screamed. This time, I wrapped my arms around her as she cried and tried to break free, but I wasn’t letting go. The more she fought, the tighter I squeezed. All I could do at that point was say that I was sorry. “I can’t believe you killed our baby,” she whispered.

  “Shhh, I’m sorry baby. I didn’t mean it. I promise I didn’t.” My heart was broken in a million pieces right then as I stood there listening to her say I killed our baby—my first born. Pulling back, I looked Stacy right in her puffy eyes and said, “I’m sorry and I know I can’t bring back our baby, but I promise I’m going to do everything in my power to make it up to you.” Taking off the shirt I was wearing, I used it to wipe the tears that were mixed with snot from her face.

  “I promise, Jay, I didn’t have nothing to do with you and Asia’s break up. I don’t know how that shit got in my phone, but I would never do that to you. I know how much you loved her, but I love you so I wouldn’t hurt you doing some shady shit like that,” Stacy explained.

  Damn, why I had to be madly in love with Asia? Yeah, I had caught feelings for Stacy somewhere during the process of us fucking around, but I still had faith that me and Asia would soon be back together, so I couldn’t committee myself to Stacy, or anyone else for that matter. I was just waiting for that black ass nigga to fuck up with my lady.

  “I know baby,” I said between kisses all over her face. “I already know you didn’t have anything to do with it, and I’m sorry that I didn’t take your word when you said you didn’t,” I let her know truthfully. I meant every word I had said about making it up to her. Though I couldn’t be with her the way she wanted, I was going to spend time with her until Asia did come to her senses.

  Chapter 13

  I’m The Future!

  Bree

  I stood here in the hallway as Lo walked in my house with his three little brats. I know we’re engaged now and I’m about to be his kids stepmother, but this ain’t no damn daycare right here. Brittani is the only child that’s about to be running through my house breaking and tearing up shit, and she wasn’t here. I don’t know what Lo was thinking when he decided to bring his boys over here, but he better go back and rethink that shit. I don’t give a fuck who pay what bill. At the end of the day, this is my house and everything in this mothafucker is in my name!

  “What the fuck you just standing there for looking all slow and shit?” he called himself snapping at me. He got me fucked up! Nah, bruh, you ain’t about to bring your kids over here and think you gonna sit up and have an attitude at me. If anybody going to be mad up in this bitch, it gon’ be me.

  “Hell to the no! Don’t come in here with that attitude! Whatever you got going on with their mama, you need to run right back over there and take that shit up with her,” I folded my arms across my chest and said.

  “Aye man, you better chill out with that attitude and watch your mouth. You see I got my kids with me,” Lo responded back as he ushered the kids to sit down.

  “That’s right mothafucker, your kids! So don’t tell me how to talk in my own shit!” I turned to walk away, but he grabbed me by the hair. Lo was dragging me to my bedroom by a fist full of my hair. It happened so quickly that I didn’t have time to react. All I could do was scream and try to lift up and scoop so I wouldn’t get carpet burn on my ass. Finally when we were in the room; Lo threw me on the bed by my hair.

  “I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with you and Shay, but ya’ll going to quit trying me. I got too much shit going on right now for you to be giving me attitude. How the fuck is we going to get married when you don’t even want my kids around?”

  This mothafucker is bi-polar as hell. Wasn’t he the one that was saying we were moving far away–just me, him, and Brittani? He was the one acting like he didn’t give a shit about his kids but now it’s all about them. Lo needed to get the fuck out of my face with that shit.

  “Really Lo? It wasn’t all about your damn kids a couple of weeks ago; me and Britt were the only ones that mattered to you, remember?” I matched the mug he was giving me.

  “It had always been about my kids. You don’t have to throw shit I said in the past in my face. I know what I said, and I meant every words about me waiting to leave and be with you, but that don’t mean I’m going to not be a father to my boys either. I tend to say fucked up shit sometime and that night, when I said you and Brittani were the only ones that mattered to me, I lied.” I don’t know why, but I heard sadness in Lo’s voice.

  “What the fuck you mean you lied? So me and Britt don’t mean shit to you?” I was fucking heated. I don’t know where the fuck this shit was coming from, but I was about two seconds from going upside Lo’s head.

  “Don’t put words in my mouth, Bree. You know you and Brittani’s my world, but ya’ll aren’t the only ones that matter to me. My boys do too, and you know I’ll always have love for their mother. I might not be in love with her, but she’s the mother of my kids, and before you start thinking all crazy, no I don’t want to be with her.”

  I just stared at Lo through narrowed eyes. There was a reason he was spitting all this shit to me now, looking all sad and shit.

  “Are you having doubt about marrying me now?” I wanted to know. Quickly, he shook his head and kissed my lips.

  “Of course not, baby. I just told you I don’t want to be with Shay. You’re who I wanna be with. It’s you that has my heart, and once I hit this lick, it’s going to be me and you. But you have to accept my kids too. Yea, we’re going to move, I haven’t changed my mind on that, but I’m still going to be in those kids’ lives also. Understand?”

  I sat there biting the corner of my bottom lip as I listened to what Lo was saying. The bullshit was really going in one ear and out the other. I don’t know what happened tonight, but there was something different in his eyes, and the sadness in his voice when he spoke of that bitch didn’t go unnoticed.

  “Did you tell the bitch that we’re engaged yet?” is all I wanted to know. Lo dropped his head before shaking it, letting me know that he hadn’t told her yet. “What’s the f
ucking hold up?” I asked. He was pissing me off by the minute.

  “Shit, just tell her! You claim you don’t want her and wanna be with me; call the bitch up and tell her that we’re getting married. You about to take her them kids back, then get all your shit, and you ain’t going back unless it’s to see those kids.” By now, I had my cell phone in my hand and was holding it out for him to get. “Call the bitch Carlos, now!”

  That stupid ass nigga was just sitting there looking at me like I was in the wrong. Nigga, you not about to play me once again. He got my hopes up once before and had me thinking we would be together, but I refused to let that shit happened again. I began getting off the bed.

  “Nigga if you don’t tell her, then I will.” When I said that, Lo jumped off the bed and grabbed me from behind.

  “Chill Bree. I said I was going to tell her. I promise baby,” he said as he turned me around and planted soft kisses all over my face. Laying me down on the bed, he gave me a passionate kiss then said, “I’m just not trying to hurt her. I mean, we’ve been together for a while now, and I already said some fucked up shit to her tonight that I regret, so I’m gonna let her cool down before I tell her. I promise I will, though.”

  “Fuck her feelings. And when did you start giving a fuck about them?” I shot back. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, his raggedy ass phone began ringing. Whoever it was had his ass jumping up off of me.

  “Yea?” he answered. I sat up and eyed his ass as he listened to whoever was on the other end. It better not have been that bitch, I know that much. “Damn, when did this shit happen? You know what, fuck it, I’m on my way now!”

  When Lo jumped up off my bed, I jumped up as well.

  “Where the fuck you think you going?” I asked as I followed him down the hall and into the living room.

  “Yo, I have to run somewhere, but I’ll be right back! Watch the kids.” Before I could curse his ass out, he was slamming the front door in my damn face. Bastard! My daughter wasn’t even there, so what I looked like watching somebody else’s kids.