Better Off Dead: The Lily Harper Series, Book 1

by H. P. Mallory

  Continuing forward, the sudden sounds of carnie music began to roll through hidden speakers, the music sounding tinny and old. A roller coaster revved to life beside us, and the sound of its cars skidding on the tracks was the perfect macabre soundtrack to my overwrought mind. My heart was pounding so fiercely, I felt winded and almost dizzy. Recordings of screams and shrieks pierced the black sky, lending the grisly paintings on the side of a fun house a more extreme level of realness. One painting was of a demon with shark teeth wielding a sword, and another was of a moon with a vampire face. The word Thriller lit up the entryway to the fun house, the white lights giving way to red, as if the letters themselves were bleeding.

  “Well, this just killed anymore circuses for me,” Bill ground out with a humph.

  “This isn’t a circus,” I corrected him, my voice faltering. “It’s an amusement park.”

  “Whatever it is, it’s givin’ me the fright shits.”

  “At least you can’t be killed,” I muttered, feeling sorry for myself again. I was the only one of us to whom this place could do permanent damage. Apparently, I also seemed to be the only one concerned about it.

  Tallis continued down the asphalt, never turning his head in either direction. Instead, he paid strict attention to wherever we were going. And he wasn’t just strolling either; he was walking at such a fast pace, Bill and I had a hard time keeping up with him. ’Course, given the fact that we were in the bowels of hell, I couldn’t really blame him—getting in and getting out did seem to be the best plan.

  Tallis took a right when the street dead-ended in front of us; and after another few paces, he stopped dead in his tracks. Before us was an area of the amusement park which appeared to be shut down. There were no lights in this section; just an unused roller coaster, an abandoned Ferris wheel, and a body piercing station that appeared to be long forgotten. A large, resin clown’s face leaned against the wall. Its black-and-orange-striped hat nearly reached the shop’s sign overhead. The clown’s eyes were open, and aside from the thick layer of dust, it appeared to be in decently good condition.

  Another large sign overhead read: Welcome to Fun Town. The letters and the bottom of the sign were also made to look like blood was dripping off them, but the paint was peeling and, as such, was less than convincing. No sooner did I drop my attention from the sign than the Ferris wheel suddenly came to life, erupting into a brilliant display of green and blue lights. The seats swung to and fro, as the wheel circled through the black air, even though no one was riding in them and no one was operating the ride.

  “They ken we are haur,” Tallis said softly. “Be ready.”

  At his words, a spike of fear shot straight down my spine. I didn’t know just what I needed to be ready for but I clutched my sword as tightly as I could and stood stock still, right behind Tallis. I waited for him to take another step.

  “Ah am oan AfterLife Enterprises business, an’ wilnae be denied!” Tallis yelled, although I wasn’t sure to whom he was yelling, since there was no one in sight. There was no response. But a slight whisper of wind suddenly kicked up and threw itself full-force against us. Then, from the shadows on our right, I heard the sound of labored, heavy breathing, like a smoker with asthma who’d just tried to run a marathon. Even though the breathing started as a faint sound, it got louder and louder until it seemed to fill my entire head. It was the definite sound of someone breathing, no, panting in my ears. I cranked my head to the left and right, but saw nothing, only darkness.

  “The bladessssmith!” The serpent hiss came from right beside Tallis. In a split second, something materialized from thin air, within inches of him. To Tallis’s credit, he didn’t flinch. He didn’t even move.

  I screamed and jumped, I couldn’t help it. As soon as I did, though, the creature turned its hideous face in my direction and I found myself staring into the soulless eyes of the most menacing, ferocious … clown I’d ever seen. Its head was bald, with two tufts of fire-engine red hair sticking out of the sides right above its ears, like Bozo. It wore a white, Elizabethan collar that framed its hideous face. Frankenstein-like stitches attached its skin to its head. Its face was painted white, and its nose red, while black paint circled its eyes and Joker-like mouth. Blood oozed from the stitches that held its upper and lower eyelids open. It seemed to have a perpetual grimace, the corners of its lips pulling up all the way to its temples and revealing two sets of savage-looking, pointed teeth. Its eyes glowed a fierce red.

  I gulped so hard, I was afraid I’d swallowed my tongue.

  “And who isss thissss?” the thing asked while cocking its head to such a degree that a human neck would have broken. Its voice reminded me of a talking snake—it accentuated its esses.

  “Nae oone ye need tae bortha yerself wif, Ragur,” Tallis answered in a steely voice, not even an ounce of fear in his tone. “We hae coome fur the sool an’ sae we shall retrieve it.”

  But Ragur, the obscenely ugly clown, didn’t hear Tallis or, more probably, just didn’t care. Instead, it stared at me, its head arcing in each direction as it examined everything about me with an expression of complete fascination. I swallowed down my own utter revulsion and fear, refusing to drop my gaze from the blood-red of its eyes, refusing to notice how it smiled even more broadly to reveal its myriad razor-sharp teeth.

  The only sound to fill the air was the creature’s labored heavy breathing, the same sound that had been echoing through my head only moments earlier.

  “Hey, Darth Breather, move along. Ain’t nothin’ more ta look at here,” Bill announced from behind me.

  “Angel,” the clown hissed. It turned its head and glared at Bill right before it spat a loogie beside Bill’s feet. Its spit, the color of lemonade and the consistency of Jell-O, immediately fizzed against the concrete, burning a hole into it.

  “Son of a bitch!” Bill yelled as he hopped back like a frightened rabbit.

  My heart climbed up into my throat as I clenched my sword tightly, wondering if I’d need to use it. A second or so later, Ragur simply stepped aside. Tallis, never one to waste time, proceeded forward, with Bill and me right behind him, like baby ducks in a row.

  “What the hell was that messed up shit?” Bill roared. “Flippin’ Stephen King just nearly took ma damn toes off!” he continued once we were out of earshot from Ragur. That is, of course, unless the clown also possessed incredible hearing—something I didn’t want to find out. “Frickin’ thing nearly turned me into handiman!” Jabbing me in the back, he asked, “You see that shit, nips?”

  “Yes, Bill, I saw it.”

  “’Twas ah demoon,” Tallis answered nonchalantly as he reached into his sporran, and pulled out Bill’s phone. He glanced down at it for a moment or two before putting it back, and saying, “Fiss way.”

  We walked down a long and dark walkway, a thick black tarp obscuring the top of the walkway and falling down on either side of us, so that we were completely enclosed by it. I felt beyond claustrophobic. Upon reaching the end of the walkway, I realized we were on a boardwalk that led into a black and white tent, similar to what you’d see in a circus. The entrance to the tent was a simple flap, which was pulled to one side and fastened.

  Tallis had to duck under the flap; Bill and I were right behind him. As soon as I entered the tent, I felt innumerable large, fat drops of rain as they shot down from the tent’s canopy. The rain came down so hard, it was deafening and I had a hard time keeping my eyes open. I ran my sleeve across my face, clearing my bleary vision, only to have my eyes flooded with more rain.

  “What is this place?” I had to shout against the torrential downpour. Wiping my arm across my eyes again, I tried to identify what I was looking at. A whirlwind of lights, circling round and round in a hurricane suddenly appeared in the center of the tent. Surrounding the hurricane was nothing but darkness—so dark that I couldn’t even see the tent’s walls. It was as if we’d walked inside the tent, only to end up outside during a severe storm.

  The driving
rain splashed right past the revolving lights which changed direction, whenever a gale of freezing wind pushed through them. The lights began to change color from a greyish-white to a blazing yellow-green, and then to an aqua blue. They moved so quickly, they were no more than a mere blur.

  “Sools,” Tallis answered as he plodded forward, forging a path against the wind, and taking us ever closer to the tempest in the center of the tent.

  “Souls?” I repeated as I peered at the whirling lights more closely. “It just looks like a bunch of swirling lights.”

  “Aye, ’at’s because they aer movin’ sae quickly.”

  Tallis held his arm out against the blasting wind and continued pushing forward until we were only feet away from the vacillating lights.

  “Are you going into it?” I screamed out against the blast of wind that nearly knocked me off my feet.

  “Aye!” Tallis yelled back. Finding courage from somewhere, I dropped my face to shield it from the pouring rain. Then, with Bill at my heels, I entered the surging tempest. As soon as we were in it, the wind increased tenfold. I felt like any second would be my last before I was pulled off my feet and whipped into the maelstrom. The rain seemed less of a problem inside the wind tunnel, probably because the wind blew the rain right out. I took a deep breath and forced my face upward, ready to inspect my surroundings.

  Before I could so much as blink, a face suddenly appeared in the circling wind. It was that of a woman who appeared to be screaming, even though no sound came from her mouth. I wasn’t sure if that was because the wind swallowed her voice, or she simply didn’t have one. Large and small holes appeared in her skin, as if the wind was blowing right through her face and tearing her skin apart. A split second later, she vanished back into the spinning lights.

  “We moost push frough tae th’oother side!” Tallis yelled out. Now that we were directly in the eye of the storm, it was easier to hear him. The wind and rain still raged, but they weren’t as strong as when we were in the walls of the storm. Another face emerged from the circling lights; this one a man’s. His face was easier to identify, more delineated. I could clearly see his open mouth, also mid-scream, even though he didn’t make a sound either. He held his hands to his face, and I watched the skin of his hands eaten away by the wind.

  “Holy crapanoly!” Bill roared out behind me. “Did you see that dude’s hands?”

  I didn’t respond, but shielded my face against the wind as Tallis held his arm in front of him and forged his way through the blasting wind. I wondered why he didn’t just use his shield but then figured maybe it would be more of a hindrance in the wind. I started forward again, prepared to fight my way through the other side of the hurricane in order to get beyond it. As soon as we entered the opposite wall of the hurricane of souls, I felt my hair blasted away from my face as an onslaught of freezing rain peppered my skin. The drops were so large and coming down so hard, I half wondered if we were being pelted with hail. I gripped my sword as hard as I could, afraid the gusts of wind might snatch it from me. I tried my best to stay a step behind Tallis, which proved progressively more difficult the further we went. The demon skull blew a few feet off his back but he must have done a good job tying it down because it never broke free.

  You’re almost there! I said to myself, wishing and hoping it was the truth. I couldn’t really see anything because Tallis’s body completely obstructed my view. The rain and wind that relentlessly attacked me from all sides made it difficult to keep my eyes open long enough to get a good idea of where we were.

  I took another step forward and got blasted by a gust of wind that came from directly in front of me which was odd, considering Tallis was standing there and should have blocked its force. I tried to open my eyes, but found it impossible as long as the wind kept beating against me. I held my hands up to ward off the elements and tried to peek through my fingers, only to find no one shielding me at all.

  “Tallis!” I screamed out, my heart dropping to my feet.

  The lights on the wind continued to encircle me, and when I glanced behind me, to make sure Bill was still there, I was dumbfounded and petrified to find he wasn’t.

  “Bill!” I yelled, now terrified to find I was standing alone in the middle of the soul storm. The wind and the rain continued assaulting me as the lights of souls flew past my body. Every now and then, a face popped out of the storm in mid-scream, but again, made no sound.

  “Tallis!” I repeated, feeling the bitter sting of rain on my face as I half wondered if maybe the rain was really my tears instead. I searched around, trying to find out if maybe Bill and Tallis had somehow gotten sucked up into the maelstrom. But the merciless assault of rain and wind prevented me from seeing anything. I could barely even open my eyes.

  I suddenly felt a hand around my arm at the same time that I was yanked forward. I gasped and tried to pull away from it, not knowing who it was, or what was happening. The wind continued blasting against my face with renewed intensity, as if trying to keep me within its confines. The hand on my arm tightened and pulled me even harder until I was yanked right out of the wind funnel. Finally managing to open my eyes, I found Tallis facing me impatiently, with a frown etched on his face.

  “Didnae ye hear me?” he demanded, shaking his head with obvious disapproval.

  “Hear you? You just disappeared!” I protested, glancing first at Tallis and then at Bill who stood beside him. “Both of you did! I thought you both got sucked up into the whirlwind!”

  “Um, honey loaves, you were the one who pulled the Bermuda Triangle,” Bill said, frowning at me. “Not us.”

  “Nevermin’,” Tallis interjected. “We need tae foocus oan findin’ th’ sool.” His expression was stern. “It shoods be haur,” he finished. By the way he was searching around himself, it looked like he had no idea where the missing soul was. He reached inside his sporran and produced Bill’s phone, glancing down at it and shaking his head in what appeared to be confusion. Then he took stock of our surroundings again, shrugging before facing the hurricane of souls.

  “You think our soul is in there?!” Bill asked, in a tone of disbelief, his eyes wide.

  “Ah hoope noot,” Tallis answered succinctly even though his lingering gaze on the hurricane suggested that he thought that was exactly where we’d find the missing soul.

  “Talk about a needle in a haystack, yo!” Bill yelled, throwing his arms up in the air as he shook his head. “We’d have better luck tryin’ ta find your sense of humor!”

  “Looking for something?” The voice came from another clown who simply materialized in front of Tallis, just as the first one had. “Or should I say, looking for someone?” the thing smiled up at Tallis with an expression of absolute lunacy in its eyes.

  This clown wasn’t quite as frightening as Ragur, but was a close second. Its head was hairless, and completely white, its skin puckered in places. Seeing a wide arc of blue around its eyes, I couldn’t tell if the blue was natural or painted. Its mouth was red, filled with yellowed human teeth and blood stained its chin. Its eyes were completely black, and the white surrounding the irises was severely bloodshot.

  “Ye ken why Ah am haur, Kipor,” Tallis shouted at the thing. The creature darted this way and that, around all of us, appearing and disappearing as if the air sucked it in and spat it out again.

  “Of course I know,” it replied in a voice that sounded very different to Ragur’s. Instead of a constant hissing sound, this creature’s voice kept echoing. “A misplaced soul, ah the tragedy!” It clapped its hands together before its eyes fell on me. When it moved a few steps closer, I had to force myself to hold my ground. Just like Ragur, this creature’s face immediately took on an expression of complete captivation, as if having never seen a human before. It walked around me to inspect me from the other side. All the while, I gripped my sword and stared straight ahead.

  “What being have you captured, bladesmith?” it asked, never pulling its eyes from me.

  “Doona make thes
s mair trooble than it needs tae be,” Tallis spat back, turning slightly so the clown could feast its eyes on the demon skull he wore on his back. At the sight of the skull, the creature backed up and seemed in less of a daze somehow. It studied the skull for a few moments, resting its hand beneath its chin before glancing up at Tallis with a frown.

  “Betret, is it?” the creature asked. It showed no indication of being upset by the death of Betret or not.

  “Aye,” Tallis nodded. “He gae me trooble an’ Ah doona fink ye woods want tae dae th’ same.”

  The clown tsked and shook its head. “I would never think to give you trouble, bladesmith,” it said as it laughed a horrible, tinny sound.

  “Then dae as Ah say,” Tallis insisted.

  The clown, in opposition to Tallis’s demand, didn’t do anything for a few seconds. Instead, it stared at Tallis, as if deciding whether or not to obey or give him a hard time. Finally it brought its hand forward and rotated it so its palm faced upward. It opened its hand, revealing a tiny glowing ball, maybe the size of a quarter, in its palm. The ball was a pure white and bounced around the clown’s hand, looking like a Mexican jumping bean, only on fire.

  Tallis immediately reached for the glowing ball, but the clown closed its fingers around it, pulling its hand out of Tallis’s reach. Its smile would haunt my dreams for years to come.

  “I have so enjoyed keeping her as my pet,” the creature whispered. It looked down at its hand again, and opened its long, skinny, white fingers to observe the ball of light.

  “Hain it oover, noo,” Tallis ground out, his eyebrows knitting in the middle as his jaw tightened. He reached inside his sporran and produced what looked like a purple vial with a corked cap. He pulled the cork out of the vial and held the open end toward the clown. “Ah doona want tae fight ye, boot Ah will if Ah moost.”