The Reluctant Daddy

by Helen Conrad

  “Me? Of course. I was the best.” Pam’s simple pride in what she had once accomplished seemed to straighten her shoulders and lift her chin.

  Glenna nodded. “How did you get that way?”

  “Practice.” Pam shrugged. “I practiced all the time.”

  “And are you a good high-school coach?”

  “Sure.”

  “How did you get that way?”

  Pam began to see where this was going and she grinned rather sheepishly. “By practicing. By studying. By watching kids and figuring out what made them tick and what I needed to do.”

  Glenna nodded. “Exactly. And that’s what you’ll do with the child you adopt.”

  Pam bit her lip and thought for a moment, her brow furrowed with the effort. “But emotions will get in the way,” she claimed, looking at Glenna for reassurance.

  “Yes, they will,” Glenna admitted. “And you’ll have a hard time with them. And you’ll have to step back sometimes and do what’s right instead of what’s easy or comfortable. And sometimes the right thing is very hard—hard on everybody. But it must be done. And you’ll do it. You can do it, and you know you can, because you’ve done it before.”

  “Oh, Glenna...”

  Glenna took her sister-in-law by the shoulders and stared into her eyes. “Will you stop it?” she cried. “No wonder you’re making yourself sick. You’re obsessing over every little detail. You’ve got to calm down, Pam.” She gave her an affectionate and worried hug. “Listen, come with me to pick the kids up and come on back to the house for dinner. We’ll call Patrick and—”

  Pam withdrew, shaking her head, her eyes veiled. “Not tonight, Glenna. I just don’t feel up to it.”

  She turned away, and nothing Glenna said would change her mind. Glenna finally had to leave, but she did so regretfully, wishing she could think of some way to set Pam’s mind at ease. She could see now why Patrick was worried. She was worried, too. Pam was definitely not in the right frame of mind to be a good candidate for adoption, and any adoption counselor would see that right away. For the first time Glenna realized that this might not work out, after all. Patrick might have to forego having the child he’d always dreamed of.

  * * *

  THE MESSAGE ASKED Glenna to meet Lee at the Java Hut, and she left as soon as she got the children settled in bed. He was waiting for her in a dark booth at the back of the club. Young people were dancing and the music was loud, but that didn’t affect her as much as the look on his face did. She slid in across from him and leaned forward.

  “What’s the matter?” she asked. “Is something wrong?”

  He studied her from under lowered lids. “Tell me again,” he said slowly, so quietly she had to strain to understand his words, “how you know nothing about the circumstances of the fire.”

  Her heart lurched and began to thump in her chest. “Wh-what?” she asked, stalling for time.

  He didn’t say another word. Deliberately, he pulled the list out of his pocket, flattened it and slid it across the table to her. She looked at it quickly, realizing right away what it meant. Dammit, she’d forgotten all about signing the visitors’ book that day, but Megan had been curious about it, and then all the children had wanted their names put in, too. She took a quick break and clenched her hand into a fist under the table. The very thing she’d feared was starting to happen.

  But something else was happening, too. As her gaze rose to meet Lee’s, she found his eyes were hard and cold. He thought she had lied to him. And he was right.

  Her mouth was dry. She’d had days to prepare for this, and still she didn’t know what to say. Looking down, she slid the list back to him.

  “I was waiting for you to tell me the truth,” he said. “I guess I could have waited until hell froze over.”

  She swallowed. “I was there,” she admitted.

  “Taping children’s activities? You certainly had a crowd of them with you.”

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  His eyes were harder than ever. “Where’s the tape?”

  She shook her head, her gaze caught by his. “I don’t have it.”

  He groaned. “Come on, Glenna. Do I have to get a search warrant?”

  “Lee, I don’t have it.”

  He stared at her. “What was on it?” he asked softly.

  She hesitated. “Children playing on the equipment at the park.”

  “And what else?”

  She couldn’t lie to him again. Looking up, she shook her head a little desperately. “There was no arsonist lurking in the background, if that’s what you mean,” she said hotly. That much was true. She refused to believe her father could have had anything to do with the crime. The only thing she feared was that, on the video, he looked so guilty. “Nothing you could connect with the fire.”

  His wide mouth twisted. “And I’m supposed to trust you this time?”

  She held his gaze, her own expression almost fierce. “You’ll have to. The tape is not in my possession. I’m trying to get it back. When I do...” Her heart stopped. Was she really going to promise him this? “When I do, I’ll bring it to you,” she said, her voice breathless.

  “Tell me where it is and I’ll get it myself.”

  She shook her head. “I can’t do that. Not—not yet. Let me try first.” She looked earnestly into his eyes. “Please, Lee. Trust me one more time.”

  Trust me. Trust me. That was what Shelley was always saying. Lee winced and took a deep breath. Looking into Glenna’s face again, he knew this wasn’t his ex-wife. “Okay,” he said softly. “One more time.”

  She rose. “Thanks, Lee,” she said. “I won’t let you down.”

  He watched as she hurried out again, wondering just how big a fool he wanted to make of himself.

  Glenna felt tears stinging her eyes as she drove away. Now what was she going to do? She’d promised him, and she meant to keep her promise. But how could she do that and protect her father at the same time? She didn’t have a clue, but it had to be done.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  THE LIGHTS TWINKLED through the trees ahead, and Jimmy and Megan leaned forward in their car seats, staring toward them, their mouths open.

  “Is that it?” Jimmy cried. “Are we there yet?”

  “Almost,” Glenna said, easing him back in his car seat. “Take it easy. We’ll get there when we get there.”

  But to tell the truth, she was almost as excited as the children and so happy that Judson and all the family had decided, despite the fire, to go ahead with the annual Christmas party at Timberlake Lodge.

  “It may even lift spirits,” Judson had said when Glenna had seen him the day before. He’d been at the house, picking up Tisha. “There are a lot of spirits that need lifting right now. At this time of year, we’ve got to keep our eyes on the importance of things, you know. This town and the people in it are what really count.”

  He was right, and Glenna was so glad he saw things that way. She and the kids were in her parents’ car and her father was driving. This was the first year the invitation had included children. There would be a present for each young guest, Alyssa had told Anna, and the Christmas tree was decorated especially for them. Rumor had it a clown had been hired for entertainment, as well as a professional magician, and the children were practically trembling with anticipation.

  Glenna craned her neck to look at the lights, too, and as they swung around the bend just below the lake, the big rustic resort came into view, ablaze with decorations for the season. Lights from the lodge were reflected on the frozen lake, making it doubly bright and doubly thrilling, and the entire effect was that of an enchanted castle where magical things might be going on.

  “There it is!” Jimmy yelled, bouncing up and down in his seat.

  “There is!” Megan echoed, copyi
ng her brother.

  There it is, Glenna thought. A lovely party and wonderful friends—and maybe, just maybe, Lee.

  But she hoped not. Tonight was to be the first night of her new, determined march toward sanity. She wasn’t going to love him anymore.

  Johnny pulled up in front of the entrance to Timberlake Lodge, and Anna and Glenna emerged from the car, each then leaning back in to release a child. Johnny drove off to park while they made their way up the steps toward the laughter and the music.

  “Look! The Christmas tree!” Jimmy called, running in toward it as soon as Glenna had divested him of coat and mittens in the lobby.

  The tree brushed the high ceiling and must have been fifteen feet tall. Lights and mechanical ornaments filled every branch, some revolving, some with tiny animals popping in and out of doors or windows. One branch held an entire mechanical ski slope, with little skiers coming down on skis, then piling onto lifts and riding back up again. Children were crowding around the display, enthralled, and Jimmy and Megan quickly joined them, eyes wide, mouths ajar.

  “To be so young and to see everything so freshly,” Anna said, squeezing her daughter’s arm when she’d deposited their wraps at the coat check. “Listen, there’s Alyssa, and I do need to speak to her.”

  Glenna herself wasn’t in any hurry to mingle. After checking to see that the kids were happy and well supervised, she walked slowly through the hall, savoring the ambience. Holiday music was coming from loudspeakers throughout the resort. The scents of pine and cinnamon were everywhere. Small knots of people were scattered about, guests chattering to friends, and everyone was dressed beautifully.

  “It’s almost like being on a set for The Nutcracker,” she murmured to herself, turning slowly to survey it all.

  Her own gown was long, burgundy velvet with a fitted bodice, studded with pearls and trimmed with lace at the neck and wrists. Her long black hair hung down her back and she was wearing pearls in her ears and pearls at her throat. If she hadn’t already known she looked pretty darn good, the admiring glances she was receiving from every side would have convinced her.

  Her pulse was beating quickly and she was almost breathless, and she knew it was all because she was hoping to see Lee, and yet at the same time scared that he might come. It was a reaction that had to be tamed.

  Liza waved at her from across the room. She was wearing a dress that shimmered with lights and sequins in waves of color, and Glenna made a mental note to get closer a little later and see what the creation was actually made of. Patrick and Pam arrived, and Glenna caught Pam’s eye and gave her the high sign. Her sister-in-law’s smile was wan, but at least she was here. And so was Penny Barker, Bob Quentin, Frank Sims, her father’s friend, and Thelma Attick, who ran the local yarn shop. Tisha had her red curls piled up in an elaborate style that only a professional hairdresser would even attempt—Megan had watched in fascination as she arranged it—and the clingy black number she was wearing set it off perfectly.

  Glenna rushed forward when she spotted her grandma Bauer holding court in an armchair near the huge fireplace. Her cousin Brick and his wife had driven Martha out from Worthington House, and Glenna had a warm visit with Karen after she’d hugged her grandmother and thanked her for the special Christmas ornaments she’d made for the kids.

  There were advantages to living in a small town, Glenna decided, walking on slowly through the crowd after a while and enjoying it all, stopping now and then to say a few words to someone else she knew, then moving on. She loved Tyler. She was part of Tyler.

  But as the evening went on, something happened to dim the happy luster of the evening. As Glenna stopped to chat with George Bond, the TV repairman, and then Eddie Linnemeyer, a high school science teacher, and Ellie Green, who worked at the post office, she began to realize everyone was talking about the same thing—the fire and the investigation. And the sense of animosity surprised her. Everyone, it seemed, had a bone to pick with Lee.

  She had just turned, preparing to go back to the room with the Christmas tree to see how her children were doing, when a loud murmur rippled through the room and she looked about, wondering why.

  Thelma was standing close by, and Glenna noticed she was staring daggers, her face set and angry. “What is he doing here?” she demanded of no one in particular.

  Glenna turned, just like all the others, to look, even though by now she had no doubt who had just come in. Still, her heart sank as she watched Lee enter the room, his head high, his suit impeccable. He looked so beautiful, yet the feeling in the room was so hostile it was palpable. Watching him, she thought of generals leading troops to battle, defiant rebels walking to the guillotine, and despite everything, she thrilled at his bravery in the face of all this small-town malice. He was rather magnificent, if she did say so herself.

  “Who invited him?” murmured someone to her right.

  “The guy ought to know better than to show his face here. There are too many people who are just too mad.”

  “Some of the men ought to get together and escort him out before something happens,” Thelma suggested icily.

  “Good idea,” Frank Sims seconded, and Glenna winced as she recognized his voice. “I think I’ll go see if I can get some support for doing exactly that.”

  “Great. Get rid of the bastard,” said a voice from behind a pillar.

  Well, she’d just spent an hour congratulating herself on the merits of small towns. Now she was seeing the dark side.

  “He has some nerve,” said a voice right behind her.

  Without turning to see who had spoken, Glenna answered, her voice loud and clear, “Yes, doesn’t he?” And she stepped away from the others to go to his side.

  Lee saw her coming and wanted to warn her to stay away, but it was too late. She was already there.

  He’d made his way to the food table by the time she reached him. He had a stuffed mushroom halfway to his mouth when she took hold of his arm and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

  Turning slowly, he looked down at her, humor vying with regret in his blue eyes. It was very nice that she felt so protective, but he didn’t want to get her involved in this. Here she was, clutching his arm as though she thought she was going to save him from drowning.

  “You don’t have to do this,” he told her wearily, but with affection. After all, there weren’t many women in the world who would have so impetuously come to his aid.

  Her smile was defiant. “Yes, I do.”

  He laughed softly. Just pull him up on shore, Glenna. Stick him in a lifeboat. Save the guy. He needs something.

  He popped the mushroom into his mouth and chewed, swallowing before speaking again. The room was humming—people whispering together, some sounding angry, others placating. His gaze swept lightly over the crowd. Every sort of emotion was simmering out there. He certainly did seem to rile people with just the power of his presence. Looking into the eyes trained on him, he saw anger, bitterness, hatred. But he also saw interest, doubt, wonder. It wasn’t quite a lynch mob yet. And with Glenna here beside him, he supposed it never would be. He smiled and wiped his mouth with a napkin.

  The hell with the crowd, anyway. He didn’t care about them. Right now, Glenna was the only thing that mattered to him. She stood beside him and waited, her hand on his arm, her body very close to his. There was a look in her eyes that said anyone wanting to hurt him would have to walk over her to get to him.

  Looking down at her, he wondered how she’d come to be so brave, so ready to take on her whole town for him. What had he done to deserve this sort of loyalty from her? Nothing he could think of. Not a damn thing.

  She’d lied to him during the first real talk they’d ever had—as Shelley had often lied to him. But he couldn’t hate her, even though he couldn’t really trust her.

  He picked up another appetizer and popped it into his mouth befor
e looking around the room again, his eyes crinkling with amusement at it all. “I can stand alone, Glenna,” he told her softly, shaking his head as he looked at her. “I’m a big boy. I can face hatred. I can take rejection. I can even take ridicule if I have to. I’ve been through things like this before. You don’t have to stand by me.”

  “I want to,” she said stubbornly.

  It was evident there was no use trying to get her to fade back into the crowd. She was bound and determined to be Florence Nightingale to his wounded soldier. Well, so be it. In fact, he kind of liked it. “I don’t deserve it,” he told her, nevertheless.

  She gave him a look and he made a motion with his head. “Let’s go where we can talk,” he suggested, glancing out at the buzzing crowd still watching them.

  She nodded imperceptibly. “Have you seen the Christmas tree?” she asked, her voice loud enough to carry across the room.

  He choked on the canapé he’d bitten into, then chuckled. “No,” he said, his napkin to his mouth. Then he added more loudly. “Why don’t you show it to me?”

  Her smile was gracious. “I’d love to.”

  He put his own hand over her fingers clutching his arm, and they began to walk through the room.

  “So tell me,” she said out of the corner of her mouth as she smiled at the crowd. “Why did you come?”

  He grinned down at her, patting her hand. “Judson Ingalls invited me. And I like this town, Glenna. I like its traditions and the way it looks back on its past, even if I do make fun of it and think it’s un-American.” He glanced around the room they were leaving. “There’s something kind of special about it. I wanted to see it all, the way it is for the people of Tyler. I wanted to come.”

  They entered the room where the huge Christmas tree stood. He glanced at it. “Very nice,” he acknowledged, but his attention was diverted by Glenna’s children, like several other children, who were looking again in fascination at the mechanical decorations. He recognized the two immediately.

  “Would you like to meet my babies?” Glenna asked him, her eyes shining with pride. She glanced at him, knowing he’d expressed his doubts about children in the past.