Silent Love

by Casey Clipper

  Dialing her parents, she patiently waited for the screen to tell her they answered.

  Hi, honey.

  "Mom, Dad?" she asked.

  It’s Mom. How are you? Did you see Sean?

  Both her parents had voiced their concerns when she left this afternoon. She smiled. "I'm good, Mom. I did see Sean. I have some terrific news. Sean asked me to marry him and I said yes."

  Crap, Dad was going to be pissed that Sean hadn't asked permission first.

  You did? Oh, honey, that's fantastic. Let me get your father. Mike.

  A moment later, her dad got on the phone.

  Elizabeth, are you sure this is what you want?

  No matter how old she turned, she'd always be daddy's little girl. "Yes, Dad. I love him," she said softly. She wished she could see her father's reaction. She was positive his features would show his total adoration for his only child. A soft sniffled escaped. "I'm sorry he didn't come to ask you first."

  He did, Beth. That boy showed up on my doorstep while you were in the shower and asked permission.

  "What?"

  I told him if you said yes, then I'd support that decision, but I also warned him I'd tear off his balls if he hurt my little girl again.

  "Dad!"

  What? I'm not lying. I will, and I'll add his brother in there for good measure.

  Beth rolled her eyes knowing the man was all talk. Well maybe not all talk, but still, he'd never really tear off Sean's balls.

  For another half an hour, she stayed on the phone and explained to her mom what time frame and what they were looking for in terms of a wedding. Talk about fulfilling a mother's dream. Jill Connors went straight into wedding mode as if that was what she was born to do. She assured Beth she'd take care of everything and make all the arrangements according to what her daughter would want and not to worry about a thing. Including money. Which her dad then inserted, what she imagined was his best military order, to not break the bank. She'd let them hash that out.

  Trudging upstairs, she felt exhausted. A long emotional day that started with extreme lows and ended on an extreme high drained her. She took a quick hot shower, tossed on her favorite pajama set, and climbed into bed. Within minutes, she was out for the count.

  ***

  In a fog, Beth felt herself in the weird state somewhere between consciousness and sleep, like she didn't know if she was dreaming or not. Somewhere in the back of her mind, the scent of smoke tickled her nose. Maybe one of the neighbors was having a bonfire. She wanted to roll onto her stomach, but her limbs felt like lead, so she laid there unmoving for how long she had no idea.

  ***

  Jolting upright out of bed, Beth woke to the fire strobe lights blinking rapidly in her bedroom. Trying to focus her sleepy eyes, she couldn't see a thing except for the blinding lights. A dark haze filled her room. Her first breath in, she coughed and choked on the thick smoke that saturated the air. Remembering instructions from when she was a child in school, she rolled off the bed to the floor and crawled towards the bedroom door that she left open when she'd fallen asleep. The floor was warm on her palms, too warm. Along the way she managed to bump into her dresser, get tangled up in her clothes from last night, and knocked her head on the sharp edge of her bed frame.

  When she got to the hallway, she went to the top of the stairs, and that's when the blast of heat singed her skin. The entire downstairs was engulfed in flames. Panic set in. Turning back to the bedroom, coughing harder, she tried to get air into her lungs, but no clean air was available, even near the floor. Quickly she made her way to the window, which forced her to stand upright. She pulled up the blind and unlocked the window, but the day had been scorching, causing the old wooden frames to swell shut.

  Another breath in and she coughed, then stumbled from an onset of dizziness.

  Glancing around the room, taking advantage when the strobe lights flashed on to try and see through the foggy blackness, she searched for something to break through the glass. She remembered in the corner of her room sat a heavy metal floor lamp. A gift from her grandmother before she passed away. Rushing over to it while knocking into furniture, she yanked the plug out of the wall.

  Another deep breath, and the dizziness grew worse. She stumbled to the ground, catching herself on her knees. Desperation took over. She had to get out of the house. If she didn't, she was going to die in her bedroom in a fire. There was too much for her to accomplish. She'd fallen in love and just gotten engaged. If anything happened to her, it would destroy Sean. And her dad. God, her father would be devastated.

  Holding her breath and with every last bit of energy she had, she pulled herself off the floor, scooped up the lamp and with all her available strength, slammed it into the glass. Not even a chip. Reeling back her hands again, she took another shot and this time the glass cracked and spider webbed. One more should get her out of the house.

  Unable to hold her breath any longer, she inhaled one final time. She felt her body start to lose itself and fall to the floor, her vision went dark, and her chest tightened up on her. The last thoughts that crossed her mind were of Sean asking her to marry him, holding her gorgeous ring in his huge fingers. She prayed he wouldn't mourn her forever.

  18

  Hours after meeting Beth at his new office, Sean stepped through his front door. Sounds of soft music filled the house, along with the scent of something baking. Stepping into the kitchen, he stopped to find a busty blonde pulling a cookie sheet out of the oven. Ryan sat at the island on a stool, beer in hand, smirking at the young woman bent over. Sean cleared his throat.

  His brother’s gaze swung to him. “How’d it go?”

  “She said yes” he said proudly.

  Ryan beamed, jumped off the stool, and gave his brother a manly embrace and slap on the back. “Congrats, Sean. She’s peeerfect.”

  “She is,” he agreed, chuckling. “We have to work on her self esteem, but I think this will be great for her.”

  Going back to his beer, Ryan picked it up and pointed the longneck his direction. “It will be good for both of you. You need each other.”

  The blonde grabbed a spatula and placed a couple warm cookies on a plate then set the dish in front of his horn-dog of a brother. Sean raised a questionable brow. Ryan nonchalantly shrugged as he took a bite out of a warm chocolate chip.

  “Would you like one, Sean?” the woman asked, her red lips full and pouty.

  “I’m good, thanks,” he answered.

  “What did she say about Court?” Ryan carefully asked.

  “Nothing,” Sean answered sternly. “I told Beth she comes first. I don’t care about Court and all her baggage. If I have to pick, I choose Beth.”

  Ryan set down his beer and gazed at the granite counter top. Sean knew this was difficult for his younger brother. They’d always been close to their cousin. She’d been the apple of their eye for years. They’d protected her, watched out for her, and supported her like two older siblings would do. Which had been fine when they were all younger, but adulthood demanded maturity, and Courtney had been coddled by the men that surrounded her and seemed to expect such treatment from all. She’d lost touch with reality. That blame could be placed solely on Darren and Derrick, husband one and two.

  “I hate this,” Ryan murmured.

  “I know, but Beth is my life, Ry. I can’t have Courtney ruining my relationship with the woman I want to marry and have children with,” Sean explained.

  “Reasonably, I know, it’s just…can’t you give her a chance to apologize,” Ryan pleaded.

  “She tried to, but it always turns back into her and how she felt and how it affected her. Do you think she could ever sincerely apologize?” he scoffed.

  His brother shrugged. “I would hope.”

  “Yeah, well, we’ll keep hoping, but I’m not in a forgiving or forgetting mood right now,” Sean said.

  “But if you get married, you’ll have to invite her to the wedding,” Ryan warned.

  “No nec
essarily, Ry.” Sean ended the conversation by stalking out the kitchen. He didn’t want to talk about his cousin any longer.

  ***

  It was difficult for Sean to fall asleep that night. To say he was ecstatic was an understatement. Life had taken a direct turn into settling down and giving him a goal and perspective since meeting Beth. His mind raced with future images. Beth in a wedding dress. Beth pregnant. Beth holding their newborn. Beth standing beside him as they opened their office. Everything surrounded Beth. Beth, Beth, Beth. What a sap he’d turned into. If he confessed this to Ryan, his brother would ride him ruthlessly.

  Finally, around midnight, Sean dozed off with visions of Beth dancing in his head.

  ***

  “Sean!” Ryan screamed.

  He bolted upright. “What the fuck, Ryan!”

  “It’s Beth, she’s in the hospital,” his brother rushed out while jumping into a pair of pants.

  “What?” he breathed, unsure he heard him correctly.

  “There was a fire at her house, Sean,” Ryan said gravely.

  “Is she…” he couldn’t finish, choking on the words.

  “Don’t know how she is. Her mom just called bawlin’. Get up. We need to get there.” Ryan rushed down the hall barking at the girl from last night to get out.

  Fumbling out of bed, Sean grabbed his pair of jeans off the floor, pulled on a tee shirt, and jumped into his shoes. Running on autopilot, he dashed out the room, down the stairs, and grabbed his car keys off the hook. A large hand snagged them out of his grip.

  “I’ll drive,” Ryan demanded, bolting around him then out the door to the car.

  Sean raced after him to the passenger’s seat. “Hurry.”

  “I’ll get us there in once piece, Sean,” his brother said.

  They squealed tire out of their driveway towards the city. The entire ride Sean prayed his girl was tough enough to survive a fire.

  ***

  For hours Sean paced the burn unit’s waiting room. He called every doctor he knew working at Mercy Hospital to try and get him information, but it was three-thirty in the morning and no one answered their phones. Jill and Michael Connors were distraught. The look of pure terror on Beth’s father’s features mirrored his own.

  Beth’s home was destroyed. Engulfed by flames. The firemen believed it was electrical, but the fire marshal would be on the scene in the morning to determine the cause. His brave girl had been in the middle of the fire, apparently fighting to get out of the house. Neighbors had been woken in the night by the sounds of crackling flames and breaking glass. When they’d investigated, they found her home consumed by flames. Horrified, a few had watched Beth unsuccessfully try to break out of her bedroom window. Three men in their early twenties rushed into action and climbed her porch then broke through the glass. Two of them pulled her lifeless body out of the bedroom and onto the small roof. That’s when other men from surrounding homes joined in to get her to safety. Each of the three guys received gashes and burns to their extremities, but nothing that would be permanent. As they’d pulled her to safety, an ambulance and fire departments interceded and immediately worked on an unconscious Beth. That was the extent of info they’d received. None of it good.

  Ryan had bought everyone coffee, but all the cups remained full, sitting off to the side.

  Stopping at the window, Sean stared off at the dark sky, the lights from the city illuminating the skyline. His fear of losing Beth crept up his spine, into his heart, and took over his head. What the hell would he do if she didn’t survive? How could his heart be so full of love and hope when he’d gone to sleep, only to wake up with the possibility that it might be gone that quickly forever?

  A small figure appeared next to him, startling him out of his dire thoughts. Courtney placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

  “Can I get you anything?” she quietly asked.

  “I can’t deal with you right now,” he snarled.

  “I know. But do you need anything?” she asked.

  “I need Beth to be all right? Can you do that for me? If you’re able to perform that miracle then maybe I can find myself able to tolerate you,” he snapped. Hurt flashed through her eyes, and a piece of him felt satisfied that he was able to draw that reaction from her. He knew he was lashing out but didn’t care. Someone or something needed to experience the pain and helplessness he had running through his veins. “Why are you here?”

  “Ryan called,” she quietly answered.

  Glancing behind him, his brother sat in a waiting room chair across the room, eyeing their interaction. His brother looked no better than he did.

  Scanning the area, no one from Courtney husband’s entourage hovered over her.

  “Where’s your harem?” he said snidely.

  “Derrick doesn’t know I left,” she answered, her gaze swinging to the floor.

  He snorted. “I’m sure that will go over well. There better not be a scene here, Courtney, or I’ll have your ass.”

  Opening her mouth to reply, whatever it was she was about to say, she changed her mind and closed her jaw. “I’ll sit over there if you need me.” She motioned to a corner chair.

  “Whatever.” He turned back to his future in-laws, who had curious looks on their faces. They knew about the fight at the family dinner, but they didn’t know who exactly his cousin was.

  He watched Courtney slink over to a seat next to Ryan, who grabbed her hand and squeezed. Even after three in the morning, she resembled a blonde goddess taking her throne. Sighing, he let his body slump into a chair and his head fall back against the wall. Closing his eyes, he tried to let loose of the anger spewed towards his cousin. Right now he wasn’t in a good place, and having her there made her a direct target.

  Visions of his last minutes with Beth assaulted his memory. Her lying naked on top of him. He’d made sure his bare skin was the one that received the rug burn. That ebony hair of hers spread out across his chest, the feel of it like feathers against his hot skin. Those little sounds of contentment that left her lips she probably had no idea she made, but he revered. A gurgling noise escaped his throat. What if he lost her?

  The door opened and a doctor came out into the waiting room. “The family of Elizabeth Connors?”

  Mike jumped up. “We’re her parents.”

  “I’m her fiancé,” Sean interjected.

  “Why don’t you have a seat?” The doctor said and motioned to the corner. He eyed Ryan and Courtney.

  “They’re family as well,” Sean assured him.

  “Dr. Millen?” the man asked.

  “Yes,” he answered, trying to remember if he knew the man.

  “Dr. Randall.” He held out his hand.

  “How’s Beth?” Sean took the proffered hand.

  Taking a deep breath, the doctor pulled up a chair and sat down across from them. “She’s on a ventilator. We had to intubate her.” Sean noticed the man spoke more directly to him. “Her oxygen levels were gravely low. The blood gas confirmed the carbon dioxide in her hemoglobin was dangerously elevated. She received oxygen in the field immediately from the paramedics, which hopefully helped, but we need her oxygen levels to start rising.”

  “Will she be all right?” Mike choked.

  “We’re not sure. We have to keep a close eye on those oxygen levels with the blood gas testing,” the doctor answered.

  “What about brain damage?” Sean whispered.

  Jill gasped.

  “Dr. Millen, first things first, we’re trying to save her life. We don’t know how long she was unconscious, but what we do know is that her blood levels showed that the paramedics got the oxygen into her system. That’s a good thing. But we don’t know the extent of damage to her lungs or brain yet,” he answered sympathetically.

  Sean felt himself go numb. This could not be happening. Vaguely he was aware of someone sobbing behind him, of Mrs. Connors collapsing into her husband’s body, of Mr. Connors’ tears falling down his stress-lined features. But nothing re
gistered except for the fact that there was so much wrong and only a glimmer of hope that something was right.

  19

  Endless days and nights seemed to blend together while Beth lay unconscious in the burn unit. While her lifeless body worked on healing itself, she'd developed a slight fever and had to be placed on IV antibiotics. Sean explained to her parents that wasn't uncommon. Her body was fighting the overabundance of carbon dioxide in her lungs.

  Sean refused to leave her side, holding her left hand almost the entire time. Her naked ring finger mocked him while he absently ran his finger over the bare spot. Jill silently prayed by her daughter’s bedside while Mike surprised him by constantly brushing Beth’s hair off her face, holding her hand, kissing her cheek, and talking to her, though she would never hear a word. Those were such tender moments between a father and his daughter, Sean felt like a voyeur watching them.

  “I love you, baby girl,” Mike said softly. “I remember the day you were born, holding your tiny body in my big hands.” He smiled at the memory. “The best day of my life, holding my daughter.” His eyes swam with tears he didn’t bother to hold back while he gently stroked her arm. “The most precious gift is a baby girl, and I got one handed to me bundled up in a pink blanket.”

  Jill cracked the air with a sob that escaped. Sean had to look away. Silence descended upon the family with the sound of the ventilator breaking the hush of the room. Every day was like that. Every day they wondered if Beth would improve, or if that was the day the doctors would come in and suggest to end the mechanical help of her breathing.