Boo Hiss

by Rene Gutteridge

  Katelyn, however, did not look excited. In fact, she looked a little sad.

  “What’s the matter?”

  She shrugged, and tears filled her eyes. “It’s hard to explain.”

  “I’m here to listen. Whatever is on your mind.”

  She looked up and tried to smile. “That’s the thing. You are so nice. People here are nice. I went to the boycott the other night, trying to explain why this town needs what I have to offer. But you know what? This town is just fine the way it is. People here are happy. Do you know that? Really, truly happy. They’re not always wanting more. They’re just living, with whatever they have. They don’t have all the modern luxuries of suburbia, but they have each other.”

  She caught a tear with the back of her finger. “In my world, Ainsley, it was all about one woman being better than the next woman. It’s a quiet competition. Nobody really says that’s what is happening. But it is. We don’t have real friendships. We have packs, like we’re wild animals defending our territory.” She started crying harder, and Ainsley walked over to put her arm around her shoulder.

  “It’s okay, don’t cry.”

  “It’s not okay. What am I doing to this town, Ainsley? It was perfectly fine before, and now I’m turning it into the exact kind of place that I’m leaving. I can’t stand to be around that anymore. My life is chaotic. I drive my son from one activity to another, hoping that at some point he’ll be better at something than the twins across the street. I’m so incredibly organized with my meals, yet we never really sit down and eat together. Michael works so much that when we get this new house built, I’m probably going to be spending most of my time alone, like I usually do. And then I’ll be in a town that hates me for what I did to it.”

  “Katelyn, nobody hates you. Sure, there are some people scared about what they’re seeing, but we knew it would happen eventually. Nobody thought Skary, Indiana, could remain the same way forever.”

  “I sat in that service yesterday and listened to Reverend Peck. I was worried that he was going too long, that people were starting to get hungry. But I realized something. My whole life, I’ve been trying to change everything around me to make myself happy. The reverend talked about change yesterday. I realized that maybe what needs to change is me. Maybe I need to stop trying so hard to be perfect.” She looked at Ainsley. “Take you, for example. You seem extraordinarily happy despite the fact that you wear two different shoes sometimes.”

  “Katelyn, listen. Everyone has insecurities. Believe me. And as lovely as this town is, we’re struggling to stay on our feet from month to month. Sometimes God works in mysterious ways. And maybe what you and your husband have to offer is just what this town needs to stay afloat.”

  “And maybe what this town has to offer is just what I need to find happiness again. Do you know how hard it is to find matching shoes for every single outfit?”

  Ainsley laughed, and the phone rang. She didn’t answer it, but Katelyn looked distracted. After four rings, she said, “Aren’t you going to answer it?”

  “They can call back.”

  “Don’t you have voice mail?”

  “No.”

  “Well you should answer it. It could be an emergency.”

  “If it’s an emergency, they’ll hang up and call back.” The phone stopped ringing, and Ainsley smiled.

  Katelyn said, “See? That’s what I’m talking about! In my world, a ringing phone never goes unanswered. Never! But you stand next to it and calmly declare the phone has no power over you.”

  The phone rang again.

  CHAPTER 27

  AINSLEY MADE HER WAY through the small crowd that was standing outside her dad’s house. She could see Wolfe standing in the doorway.

  “Wolfe!”

  “Ainsley,” he said. He took her hand and walked her inside.

  “Where’s Dad? Is he okay?”

  “He’s in the kitchen.”

  Ainsley rushed in and saw her father’s face. That assured, stoic expression that she’d come to depend on her whole life had been wiped away by fear. He looked up, and when he saw her, he offered a gentle, reassuring smile, but he could not hide the uncertainty in his eyes.

  “Dad, are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. I’m fine. I wasn’t here. I was at play practice.”

  “What happened?”

  “Looks like a back window was broken out,” Wolfe said. “They came in through there and sort of ransacked the place.”

  Ainsley looked around. Closet doors were open, the pantry door.

  “Whoever did this did a real number upstairs,” her father said.

  “What did they steal?” Ainsley asked. “Mom’s jewelry?” Her heart sank.

  “No. Far as I can tell, they didn’t take anything except an old, empty suitcase.”

  “A suitcase? Why would they take that?”

  “I don’t know,” her father sighed.

  “Are you okay?” Ainsley asked. He looked really upset.

  “I don’t know when was the last time we had a burglary in this town,” her father said. His two deputies shook their heads too. “It sure feels weird, I’ll tell you that. Knowing somebody has been in this house, uninvited, looking for who knows what. Maybe guns, I don’t know.”

  Ainsley couldn’t believe what she was hearing. This was not a violent town. They had hardly any crime. Maybe Katelyn was right. Maybe what she was bringing to this town was only going to harm it. This had to be the work of an outsider. Nobody in their right mind would break into a house knowing it belonged to the sheriff.

  Ainsley tried to hold back tears and be strong for her father. “Where’s Butch?”

  “Around here somewhere. I think he’s out looking for clues.”

  Wolfe said, “I’ll go find him.”

  Ainsley laid her head against her dad’s chest and stared at the broom closet, it’s contents strewn onto the kitchen floor.

  “I know you didn’t mean to drop that line tonight, Mariée, but the fact of the matter is that you did. I was once in play where a fellow actor jumped from page thirteen in the script to page fifty-four. The rest of the cast followed and the play was over within ten minutes. Now I’ve worked awfully hard on this play. It took me twenty years to write. The entire town is going to show up expecting to see a full-length play, and we’re going to give it to them. You simply cannot flub up any more lines.”

  “But all I said was we instead of Z”

  “You’ve added an entire person to the scene just by saying we. You say we and everyone is looking around for the other person, you see? It’s confusing.” Lois folded her hands together and looked directly at Mar-lee. “Now I understand that probably what caused all this mess is that you’re nervous. Are you nervous?”

  “I wasn’t. Until now.”

  “Let me give you a few tips. I’ve done a lot of theater over the years, and one thing that helps is to make sure the night before the show to think about all the hundreds of people that are going to show up to see you perform. That way you’ve already faced your fear, so when you actually see their beady little eyes, you’ll be prepared. Granted, it’s a little different when you step out onstage and can actually hear them breathing, maybe even whispering about your hair color. But just ignore all that. Your focus should be on not screwing up.” Lois paused. “Are you okay? You look a little pale.”

  “No, Im, um, fine. I’m just … I can’t even remember the first line of the play!”

  “That’s because you don’t have the first line; Wolfe does. Now listen, don’t panic. If you start feeling your heart race, you’re already up a creek. If that happens, you might as well throw in the towel. The key to being the lead actress is being calm, cool, and collected.” Lois leaned forward. “Honey, let me take your pulse.”

  “I’m fine. Lois, please. I’m fine.” She brushed the hair out of her eyes and visibly tried to gather herself. “I’m perfectly capable of playing Lotus. I’ve done lots of speeches at school, and I give Mary Kay
parties all the time. I’m not afraid of a crowd.”

  This chick wasn’t going down without a fight. Lois felt a little desperate. She didn’t know how or when, but Mariée Hampton was going down.

  Mariée stood and said, “Now, I’ve got to go so I can be plenty ready for tomorrow night’s show.”

  Lois said, “I’m sure it will go fine.”

  Mariée walked toward the door. “All I care about is that my makeup looks good.”

  At the back of the house, Wolfe found Butch, bent down examining some dirt with a flashlight. “It’s him.”

  “Who?”

  “Tarffeski. These are prints from those ridiculous boots he wears.”

  Wolfe crossed his arms. “You’re telling me you think Leonard Tarffeski broke into your fathers house for that snake?”

  Butch stood, his hands on his hips, still studying the “crime scene” around him. “I know for certain. Tarffeski’s been on me like a hound dog. He knows I have the snake, and he’s going to do anything he can to get it.” Butch glanced at Wolfe. “The snake is safe, by the way. It’s a fascinating creature to watch. I don’t know how they’ve done it, but it seems Bob and Fred have finally managed to learn, at least for the most part, to work together. That’s the only way they could’ve gotten all the way to Gordon’s farmhouse. When they fight, they are at a standstill and can’t go anywhere.”

  Wolfe bit his lip. This was getting to be ridiculous. When was it going to stop? Butch continued to create this imaginary world around him. Maybe he broke into his own house to finish off the fantasy. Who knew?

  “Butch, come on. Are you trying to convince me that Tarffeski would actually break into the home of a sheriff just for a stupid snake?”

  “It’s not just any snake, Wolfe. This is a bicephalic rosy boa constrictor. Do you know how rare it is to find one frill grown? They almost always die when they’re babies. Bob and Fred are extraordinary. And they’re worth about thirty thousand dollars.”

  “Thirty thousand dollars.”

  “There’re a couple of things not adding up, though. And you better believe I’m going to get to the bottom of it.”

  “Like what?”

  “First of all, Bob and Fred are a rosy boa. Rosy boas are native to California.” Butch turned off his flashlight. “And Leonard Tarffeski claims he’s a snake hunter from New Zealand.”

  “So?”

  “New Zealand doesn’t have any snakes.”

  Dustin had been dreading this day for a while. He’d kept Bob and Fred’s terrarium up since they left, but it was beginning to become clear that Bob and Fred weren’t returning. He’d refused dinner tonight, worrying his mom half to death. But he didn’t feel like eating. It was time to say good-bye to Bob and Fred forever.

  He touched the photograph that was stuck to the mirror in his room. And the snakeskin that was nailed to his wall. It was the first skin they’d shed for him. All around were reminders of Bob and Fred, but he couldn’t look at them anymore. It just made him sad.

  Two knocks and his bedroom door flew open.

  “Mom, I said I wanted to be alone,” Dustin said, his voice strained as he held back his emotion. He didn’t want his mother to see him cry.

  “There are two people to see you, Dustin. Butch Parker and Wolfe Boone.”

  Dustin’s eyes grew wide. “Are you serious? He’s here, in my house?”

  His mother nodded, turned to the side, and said, “Come on in.”

  Dustin couldn’t believe it as the two men walked into his bedroom. They both looked around and then greeted him with a handshake.

  “Hi Dustin,” Wolfe said. “Good to see you again.”

  “Yeah, dude … me too.”

  “Dustin, hello. I’m Butch Parker.”

  Words would not form in his mouth.

  “Thanks for seeing us.”

  “Yeah … dude … I can’t believe you’re standing in my room.”

  Wolfe said, “Who? Butch?”

  “Butch Parker, dude! Who else! You’re so cool, dude. You’re like a legend!”

  Butch slapped him on the back. “It’s always nice to meet a fan.”

  “I’m more than a fan. Are … are all the stories true?”

  “As you know, Dustin, I can’t discuss the details, but I can’t deny them either.”

  “Whoa. That is awesome. Have you ever killed anyone?”

  “That’s classified.”

  “Of course, yeah, of course.” Dustin found himself needing to straighten up his room as he invited the men in. He didn’t really have anyplace for them to sit except for his two stereo speakers. He dusted them off with his shirt and offered them. “Well, I can’t even imagine why you are here.”

  “I’m here to talk to you about your snake,” Butch said.

  “Bob and Fred! Have you found them?”

  “I need to ask you some questions.”

  Dustin looked skeptical. “Why?”

  “Leonard Tarffeski has been around here, talking to you about the snake, hasn’t he?”

  “What if he has?”

  “What has he said to you, Dustin?”

  “He told me not to discuss the snake with anyone. He was the only person I could trust. He’s a professional snake hunter.”

  “What did he say to do if you were reunited with the snake?”

  “He was mostly concerned about my snake’s well-being. He said I should contact him if someone brought me the snake, because it might require medical attention.” Dustin shifted his eyes back and forth between the two attentive men. “I’m not sure I should talk about this anymore.”

  “Dustin, I’m not sure this man has your best interest at heart. How do you know he isn’t in this for himself?”

  “I dunno.” Dustin stared at the carpet beneath his sneakers. “He said that I had to be careful, because people see Bob and Fred as freaks. They don’t understand them, so they might hurt them or even try to kill them. He said I shouldn’t trust anyone but him.” Dustin shrugged. “Makes sense. He’s a snake lover too.”

  Butch leaned over, his full attention on Dustin. “Dustin, I need to ask you something, and I need you to be honest with me.”

  Dustin felt anxious. He’d always admired Butch Parker, and since he was a little kid had heard the stories about him. But Leonard’s words kept ringing in his ears. Trust nobody. They’re out to hurt your snake.

  “What’s the question?”

  “You claimed you found Bob and Fred as a baby in the wild near your home. But I know for a fact that’s impossible, that you couldn’t have found them in the wild.”

  Dustin stood up, sticking his hands in his pockets. “Why do you know that?”

  “I’m right, aren’t I?”

  Dustin didn’t answer.

  “I know this, Dustin, because rosy boas are native to California, not Indiana.”

  Dustin looked at Butch, then at Wolfe, then back at Butch. “It’s none of your business.”

  “Did you steal it?”

  “No! I would never steal anything!”

  “Then how did you get it?”

  “Leonard was right! You all are out to hurt the snake.”

  “No, Dustin, were out to find the truth. Things are not adding up here, and until we find the truth, this situation is not going to be resolved.”

  “It doesn’t matter anyway. They’re gone for good. They haven’t been seen for weeks now.” He shook his head. “They don’t know how to survive in the wild. They’ll never make it.”

  “Where’d you get the snake, Dustin?”

  Dustin stayed silent.

  “Tonight, my dad’s house was broken into. They’re looking for suspects right now. If I were you, I would tell us right now where you got that snake, because if you don’t, you’re going to be added to the list of suspects who have a history of stealing in this town.”

  Dustin looked into their eyes. They doubted him. Both of them. He had a reputation to uphold, and it wasn’t as a thief.

  �
��I bought it off eBay.”

  “EBay?”

  “A version of eBay, for pet lovers.” Dustin looked away. “I can show you the receipt if you want.”

  “How did you get it?”

  “Just like on eBay You bid for it. This guy had found it, his son had wanted to keep it, but he thought it was too freaky, so he put it up for auction. I outbid everyone and bought it for a thousand bucks.” He shrugged at their open-mouthed looks. “What? I live with my mom. What else am I going to do with my money around here?”

  Butch looked at Wolfe, then at Dustin. “Okay. Interesting. Dustin, have you told anyone outside this town about your lost snake?”

  He shook his head, but then said, “Besides the sloop.”

  “The sloop?’

  “It’s what we call it. It stands for snake loop. It’s an Internet chat room for snake lovers.”

  CHAPTER 28

  WOLFE SLEPT IN, though it didn’t do much for his fatigue. He’d tossed and turned all night, worried about his father-in-law, worried about Ainsley worrying, worried about the fact that the play was going to be a total disaster, and just to top it all off, worried about his lifeless career.

  When he wasn’t busy worrying, he was going over the lecture he was preparing in his head for Butch to get real and stop deceiving people with this charade he’d created. He couldn’t believe the way Dustin had practically fallen down and worshiped the guy. Sure, Butch got the information he needed from Dustin, but wasn’t he exploiting the kid’s idealism just a bit?

  Then he’d go back to worrying, and Oliver’s anger toward him consumed the rest of the night.

  Downstairs, he found Ainsley busily working at making food for the play. “Good morning … or should I say afternoon?”

  He laughed and hugged her. “It’s not quite that bad, is it?”

  “Well, I’m getting ready to offer you a sandwich instead of scrambled eggs … “ She looked up at him. “You still seem tired. Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. Just hoping I don’t make this play more of a disaster than it already is by forgetting all my lines.”

  “The play’s not good?”