The Moment Everything Changed (Lucy's Life #1)

by Michelle Heron

  I thought about calling Octavia and getting the hell out of here but she had just dropped me off this morning, it wouldn’t be fair to her family to ruin their plans because of me. Not to mention Max would know the real reason I was leaving which might make him jump to conclusions. What if he thought I told? What would happen then? I just couldn’t take that risk.

  Sometime later I hear my mom and Max putting my brothers to bed. Maybe if I faked being sick Max would leave me alone tonight? I’ve got to try something.

  I slip out of my room slowly catching my mom’s eye. “Ugh, I don’t feel so good.” I say looking over at my mom but making sure Max hears me as well.

  “What’s wrong Lucy?” Mom asks.

  “Think I might have the flu or something.” I lie pretending to cough.

  “You shouldn’t have the flu.” My mom says.

  “It’s probably just a cold.” I try again. “I can barely breathe and my throats killing me.” I move closer to the bathroom. “I’m just going to tuck myself into bed early tonight in hopes I feel better.” I pretend. I wonder if they are buying it?

  “I’ll be making leftover Turkey soup in a couple of days.” My mom says.

  “Okay.” I slip past them and sneak into the bathroom.

  Closing the bathroom door behind me, I lock it and lean against it. Any contact with Max is getting unbearable. How am I supposed to keep pretending nothing’s wrong?

  Looking at my reflection in the mirror I see a tear roll down my cheek. I use to be such a happy girl…My smiles were never faked. Now everyday I’m worried someone will see the secrets I’m so desperately trying to hide.

  I reach for the taps and splash some water on my face hoping to cool the redness from my eyes. I stand there just waiting to hear mom and Max go downstairs. Once I know it’s clear I open the door and head back to my room.

  Inside my room I grab a fresh set of batteries and climb into bed with my Walkman. I knew there was no way I’d get any sleep yet but I was too exhausted to do anything else.

  Pushing myself as far back in bed as I can I look up to see I’m right under my window. Turning back, I can I can see my bedroom door perfectly. This way I’ll see the light come into the room when he enters…

  Cranking my music, I focus my attention on to the song lyrics. The exhaustion is starting to take over as I drift off to sleep. The music is lulling me to sleep with thoughts of Bobbie taking over my thoughts.

  I’m picturing us spending Christmas together. It’s not a scene of romance like in books or TV, it’s just us hanging out, talking like we always do when know ones around.

  It’s nice because I’m finally able to see him be himself without worrying about people making fun of us. We’re laughing, our dads are off in the distances and music is lightly playing in the background. I’m about to lean in for our first kiss when suddenly I feel movement.

  I’m startled awake to see Max kneeling in front of my bed. The lights are still off but I can see him by the light coming in from the window.

  “Where’s my mom?” I begin to panic frantically trying to cover myself back up in my blankets.

  I see his lips move but I can’t hear him, I’ve still got my headphones on. For a second I consider leaving them on as a distraction but I’m afraid I’ll associate certain songs with what’s about to happen…I couldn’t taint my music. In my fight to push Max away my headphones slip off anyway.

  “Where’s my mom?” I snap tugging my blankets back.

  “She’s asleep on the couch.” He says yanking off my blankets in one swift movement.

  I’m already shaking so bad I can’t seem to fight back. “I’m sick remember? You’ll catch whatever I have.” I plea but it doesn’t matter. “Please don’t do this, it’s Christmas.” I plea again, I’m crying so bad I can barely see in front of me.

  “It’ll be over before you know it.” He says as he continues to grab hold of my covers…

  “I’m going to tell.” I say bravely even though I’m trembling and the tears are rolling down my face.

  “No one will believe you Lucy.” He says forcefully.

  “My mom will believe me.” My voice shakes.

  “Didn’t your sister try that already?” He says. I can hear the smirk in his voice.

  “I don’t mean her…” I’m trying to stay brave. “She’s no mom to me.” I say bravely between sobs.

  Max grabs onto my arms so tightly I can almost feel the bruises he’s about to leave behind.

  “If you tell you know what will happen to them or have you forgotten?” He says almost spitting in my face.

  I’m totally freaking out but I’m tired of him pushing me around. I’m tired of living like this. “You can’t keep doing this.” I cry out. He throws me back down onto my bed.

  “Who’s going to stop me.” He says over top of me. “You should be thanking me Lucy.” He continues and I’m powerless against his side and strength. “No one will ever want you.” He snickers. “No one will ever love you.”

  I’m hearing what he’s saying but I can’t let him convince me. He won’t destroy me…This won’t destroy me. “Your wrong.” I cry out.

  “Am I?” He continues harder this time and I can’t keep up the fight I’m just too weak and tired.

  It’ll all be over in a few minutes. Just hold on a little longer. He finishes and shoves me back into bed not bothering to put my pajama pants back on. I angrily reach for my blankets to cover myself back up. I just wanted to bury myself as deep into my covers as possible.

  Pushing myself as far back against the wall as I can I watch him leave through my teary eyes. The room is once again quiet but I still don’t feel safe. My body’s still trembling and my hearts almost racing out of my chest.

  Looking across the room the clock I says it’s two a.m.

  ****

  I’m woken maybe a few hours later by Jayden who says if I don’t get up and come downstairs they can’t open presents. Great just what I wanted, to spend time with all them after a night like that.

  I grip my blankets tight so Jayden won’t see I’m not wearing any pajama bottoms. Looking across the room the clock it reads six a.m.

  “Come on Lucy.” Jayden shakes me again.

  “Fine. Just go and I’ll get up.” I couldn’t get out of bed like this.

  “Promise.” Jayden asks.

  “Promise.” I get him to leave.

  Jayden walks out of my room closing my bedroom door behind him. I lay there looking at the ceiling. How am I supposed to act normal after all that? A tear escapes. I can’t face Max. But I don’t have a choice, I’ve got to get up.

  Pulling my blankets aside I try covering myself. First off I need another pair of jammies. I can’t wear these again. It’s too much of a reminder of last night. I quickly change then stop into the bathroom on my way by.

  Locking the door behind me I hear my mom call from the bottom of the stairs. “I’m coming.” I yell, the anger in my voice makes me teary eyed. Hold it together. I flush the toilet, then splash some cold water on my face. You can do this. I tell myself looking in the mirror. Don’t let him see you break. You’ve got to be stronger than this. You’ve been through so much…Keep going.

  I unlock the door and proceed down the stairs. I see Mom and Max sitting close together while Jayden and Matt begin opening presents. So much for waiting. Oh well the sooner we get this over with the sooner I can go back to my room.

  Ray comes upstairs in much the same grumpy tone. He’s never been a morning person. He walks over and sits on the floor beside me.

  “Since you’re sitting together.” My mom says digging out a big present. “You should open the present you guys asked for together.” She says passing the big gift our way. Immediately that gets Ray’s attention.

  See Ray wanted a gaming system this year but it was too expensive as a gift for one of us so I promised Ray I’d ask for the same thing. That way if we both asked for the same thing she’d get it for us, even if it meant tha
t I would get less this year. I just wanted Ray to get what he wanted.

  Ray was the only one I was close to in this family and I wanted him to be happy more than anything. Besides the only thing I was into these days was music and I’d gotten used to recording songs off the radio or I borrowed something from Octavia.

  “Did you get us…?” Ray said tearing into the paper. “You did get it for us.” He jumps up to hug mom and she smiles.

  He only got it because I gave up my gifts, and yet she’s taking full credit.

  “You like it?” Max asks. Just the sound of his voice makes my skin crawl. Don’t even act like you care. My anger’s getting the best of me. My hands are shaking and I fear the lack of sleep is catching up with me. I feel like I’m about to lose control. I can’t keep this act much longer…

  “Well I guess if that’s it I’m going back to bed. I didn’t sleep well last night.” I say over my shoulder. Hoping my vagueness puts some fear into Max. After last night, he must know, he’s slowly losing his grip on me.

  “We’re not done Lucy.” Mom calls out.

  “We already got our present so…” I gesture to the stairs.

  “You’ve got your stocking too open still.” She returns.

  “Oh right.” I say sarcastically. I reach up to the banister to remove my stocking.

  Even though I knew I was giving up my gift this year for Ray I’d hoped that maybe my mom might see the only reason I asked for the gaming system was because I felt bad Ray wouldn’t be able to get what he truly wanted. I thought my mom might have at least acknowledged it and bought me maybe something small.

  I grab the other stockings and bring them over to my little brothers, who are still ripping through presents.

  It was funny how they seemed to have more gifts then us but they were Max’s kids so they were treated better than us. Or at least that’s how I saw it.

  Chapter Nine

  By the time Christmas Break is over I’m more than happy to go back to school. I didn’t know how much longer I could stand being stuck at home. Feeling exhausted even though I’ve been off school for the past two weeks I don’t feel like dressing up my first day back.

  Reaching for a pair of black cargo pants and a hoodie I get dressed, instead of tying my hair into a ponytail I leave it down. Grabbing my back pack, I exit my room. I’m stunned to see Max sleeping in my sister/mom’s room. Why’s he still here? I freeze. Not wanting to wake him I sneak down the hall quietly.

  “You still feeling sick?” My mom asks when I come into view.

  “I’m fine.” I mumble walking towards the kitchen.

  “How come your so dressed down?” She questions.

  Since when did she notice what I was wearing? Since when did she even care?

  “It’s cold outside.” I lie.

  After having Max here for the past week, I didn’t feel like dressing up. I felt like covering myself as much as possible. If I could I’d just turn myself invisible.

  “Okay.” She says.

  “When’s Max going to be gone?” I question from the kitchen.

  “Can we not start this right now?” Mom says already annoyed. “The boys are better behaved when he’s here.” She continues.

  That’s probably because they’re afraid of him too. “Fine, whatever.” I grab my lunch from the fridge and carry my toast to the table.

  Instead of sitting down to eat I dig my boots out of the shoe pile then carry them back to the table. Sitting down I begin lacing them without even touching my toast. I just need to get out of here before I completely snap.

  I’m in the middle of lacing my boots when Ray comes upstairs. Since Christmas he’s been keeping “our” system in his room which means that sleepy look on his face means he’s been up playing all night. “Stay up a little late playing games?” I question smiling at him.

  “Yeah I guess.” He says scratching his head.

  “I’m glad. See ya after.” I wave throwing my jacket on.

  “Your leaving already?”

  “Yep.” I take off out the door.

  The cold air takes my breath away but I welcome it. At least I’m out of that stuffy house. On the front step, I slip my headphones on. The world seems so much quieter through my headphones. It keeps all the negative thoughts at bay. For now, anyway.

  I begin to walk away from the house. I wonder what would happen if I just didn’t come home ever again? I look back towards our house. Would anyone even notice? Gloria honks breaking my thoughts.

  Slipping my headphones off one of my ears I board my bus. “How was your Christmas?” Gloria asks.

  You don’t even want to know. “It was great.” I lie throwing on a fake smile.

  “That’s wonderful.” She returns not noticing a thing.

  I make my way to my seat and sit down. The trip to the school goes by in a blur.

  Arriving at the school I see Octavia and Kira out in the smoking section. I’m not interested in standing outside in this cold so I head inside instead.

  Being back in these halls after almost a month of vacation kind of reminds me of the first day all over again. Everyone’s all dressed up in new clothes and excited about seeing their friends. While I just want to turn invisible.

  I brush a piece of loose hair behind my ear as I grip the straps on my backpack tighter. Making my way down the hall I walk past Bobbie’s locker but I barely look at him on my way by.

  I’m not in a good place right now and I don’t want him to see me like this. But as I walk by I notice he barely looks my way anyway. It’s like we’re suddenly strangers again.

  Stopping at my locker I look back down the hall towards Bobbie’s locker, he’s no longer there. Did I do something? Can he sense my mood?

  “Hey Lucy, what’s with the outfit?” Octavia asks beaming.

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” I say tossing a few books into my locker.

  “Is everything okay?” She questions leaning closer.

  “I guess.” I mumble tossing in a few more books.

  “Don’t tell me Max was there?” She tugs on my arm.

  “Yeah.” I look towards the floor.

  “Lucy he didn’t?” She presses.

  “He did.” I take a deep breath and look up at her. “Merry Christmas.” I say, my voice cracking a little.

  Octavia pulls me into a hug. I want more than anything just to bawl but I’m standing in the middle of the school hallway and I don’t let anyone see me break, not even my own family.

  “I’ll be okay.” I whisper trying to pull myself together. I pull myself free of her grip.

  “How come you didn’t call me?” She asks.

  “I had just come home from your place…” I offer looking away.

  “It wouldn’t have mattered Lucy.”

  “But it does matter. I can’t just take off every time…” I want to say more but I don’t. Thankfully Kira approaches.

  “Hey gurrllss.” She drags out. “What’s with the hoodie and cargo pants Lucy? Are you sick or something?” She questions looking at both Octavia and I. “I can’t get sick.”

  “Just cold is all.”

  “Huh.” She shrugs. “So my Christmas was totally awesome. I got so much stuff.” She brags to us.

  “Oh yeah I got a lot too.” Octavia says distracting Kira for me.

  I’m happy to walk beside them quietly. I’m not much of a talker anyway. We’re walking towards the elevator when I spot Bobbie again. This time he looks my way. He’s about to smile when he sees Megan and Audrey coming around the corner. I brush my hair out of my eyes in time to see him take off.

  Guess I’m taking the elevator alone... I break away from Octavia and Kira by ducking into the elevator. I try pulling myself together once I’m inside.

  What was with Bobbie? Did I do something wrong?

  Slipping into the classroom I go straight to my desk. Sitting down I happen to glance down the hall. There’s Bobbie. I’m curious to see what he’ll say when he walks by me.
That is if he says anything at all…

  “Hey.” I say just as nervous as the first time I spoke to him.

  “Hey.” He nods but doesn’t stop to talk.

  I’m crushed as he walks away. It feels like someone’s sitting on my chest. I feel tears threatening behind my eyes. Maybe Max is right. Maybe no one will ever want me…I worry looking back at Bobbie. Fine, I don’t need you. I try convincing myself.

  “What’s going on?” Octavia questions putting her messenger bag on the desk beside mine.

  “I don’t know…Bobbie’s acting a little weird.”

  “What do you mean by weird?” She continues looking over her shoulder in his direction.

  “He’s kind of brushing me off.” I say burying my hands in my sweater sleeves.

  “Yeah he’s kind of acting weird…You seem different too though.” She says returning her attention to me.

  “Yeah…well…” I trail off.

  “Everyone please take your seats.” Mr. Davidson says addressing the class.

  I pretend to be putting my backpack on the back of my chair just so I can take another look at Bobbie. I just can’t let thing’s end like this... I look in the back corner to see he’s looking at me. So, what’s going on? I’m so damn confused.

  After Geography, I head off to Math which just happens to be down the hall from my Geography class. Hanging out outside the class I’m hoping to run into Bobbie on his way by.

  I’ve got my back against the wall and my eyes practically glued to our Geography class. I see Sunny D exit the class next. Bobbie shouldn’t be too far behind after all they practically sit in the same corner.

  Tori approaches then as I see Bobbie emerge. He stops to glance my way but when he sees Tori he turns in the opposite direction. What’s that about?

  “What’s up?” Tori asks.

  “Nothing.” I lie. “What’s up with you? How was your Christmas?” I question.

  “It was alright.” She looks away.

  I happen to know her family isn’t as well off like mine and Bobbie’s. I glance back in the direction I last saw him but he’s long gone by now.