Moth

by Jennifer Foor

  “I want you to stay back tomorrow.”

  “Hell no! Not happening. No way in hell am I staying here while you go over there and rage a war on Alizar. What if something happens to you?”

  That’s the point. I’m holding her hands as I speak. “Don’t you see, that’s why I need you to stand down? I couldn’t handle it if something happened to you. I won’t let them hurt you. Don’t worry about me. I’ll die a happy man if I know you’re safe and out of harm’s way.”

  “You’re being an asshole.” She jerks out of my hold and folds her hands over her chest. I don’t care if she’s pissed. I’d rather her hate me, then be in danger.

  “You’re mad because I’m right. You’re too invested in this case. You’ll go in with blinders on. I’ve dealt with these people. I’m trained in these types of situations. You’re not. I’m not saying you’re not tough enough, but I know what to expect. I can’t protect you and worry about taking him down. I won’t be able to focus.”

  “I’m going. End of discussion.” She’s so determined the veins are showing on her forehead. She’s won’t budge.

  We’re going to agree to disagree and it’s killing me inside. I manage to get out of bed and go onto the balcony before I’m able to say things I know I’ll regret. I’m infuriated over her inability to see how much I care for her safety, how much I care about her as a person.

  It’s a long time before I hear the slider door coming open and the sound of her feet approaching. I don’t turn around. If she’s emotional I’ll feel bad and give in, and I know that will solve nothing. I have to remain stern and in control.

  Her hands touch my arms as I feel her lean her head against my back. I take my own and capture hers in order to bring them around the front of me. “I don’t want to fight about this. My decision is made, Moth. I’m going with you.”

  I close my eyes as I listen to her admission. It’s painful and a punch to my ego. I’m hurting in a way I’ve never ached before. I’m forced to turn around and look into those brown eyes when I reply. It’s time to play a card I never thought I’d have in my hand. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you. We might still be strangers in a lot of ways, but you’ve found your way into my heart. I’ve never let another woman inside, and now you’re about to risk your life for the most unselfish reason, which makes my feelings for you stronger. You’re brave, relentless, persistent, and the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. I’m not asking for any kind of commitment. I know our lives won’t allow it. Just promise me you’ll be careful. Promise me I won’t be carrying you off that beach in a body bag.”

  We stare at each other for a few minutes. I’m overwhelmed and unable to deal with my emotions. She’s gotten to me and nothing will ever be the same. Other woman are incomparable. She’ll always be that one person I knew I could have everything with yet could never keep. It’s bittersweet and depressing as shit.

  Our hands lace together as we stand there. “I promise I’ll walk away on my own. You have my word.”

  We kiss to seal the agreement. I’m still not reassured, but at least she knows where I stand. Together we walk back inside of the bedroom. We make love as the night breeze blows in from the open slider. I make her mine over and over again until we’re sweaty and exhausted, and then I fall asleep inside of her, silently praying this won’t be the last.

  Chapter 22

  A knock at the door wakes me. It’s still dark outside, and I’m inclined to assume I know who could be banging this early. I get up and crack it open to see Renner and House standing on the other side. Malone is behind them, followed by Cowboy and three other guys I recognize from another team. At the same time they all give me a once over. I smirk and shake my head. “You could have warned me you brought company.”

  They follow me inside. It’s still pretty dark in the room but I can see that Nina is sitting up in bed with a sheet covering her. “We knew we’d need help. We only told the people we brought with us. We picked them up one at a time and made sure they left any devices at home. We’re under the radar, boss. Just tell us what to do next.” When Renner says it I feel better.

  “Did you check in like you’re dressed?” I’m worried these idiots wore their gear into the lobby of the hotel.

  “Hell no,” Renner responds. “We all checked into rooms at different times. House and I are bunking up. We’re gay and proud.”

  “Sounds like a personal choice to me. Keep your dick slapping to yourselves.”

  He’s laughing. Not that I would care if they hooked up. To each their own. For a second I think about Jamie. I wonder how hard it was to live with knowing he was different. My mind goes back to our mission, and how I’m determined to seek retribution from everything Alizar has taken from me.

  For the next hour, after Nina and I dress, we go over the plan. We only have until noon when the meeting is supposed to take place. It’s up to us to boat over and spread out so we can infiltrate the property.

  We pack up our weapons in beach bags and go over the plan one more time. It’s weird seeing Nina dressed like she’s one of us. She’s a badass and I’d like to fuck her later, but I know this has to happen first. I still have that feeling in my gut, yet I know I’m nervous regardless of her involvement. We’ve been this close before and it hasn’t panned out.

  Since we’re staying at a resort there is always heavy traffic on the water during the day. People kayak and snorkel as well as swim and fish. We break into groups and each find our own way to arrive at the location. Then we sit and wait.

  Nina and I are positioned close to the property. I have eyes on the target, while she searches the vicinity for a way to make it inside the shack they’re keeping her brother. We communicate using hand signals to remain undetected. The sound of a boat motor catches our attention. I shield her and duck us both behind a large tropical plant. The watercraft is small. It’s a center console with a driver and two occupants. As they get closer I can make out only one and it’s my target. He’s probably two hundred yards away so I can’t take a clear shot with the waves and wind. There’s no telling what would happen if I missed and gave up our location. I turn and look at Nina. She’s ready to pounce. Her eyes are hungry for vengeance, which only puts more worry on my shoulders.

  We sit back and watch the infamous Alizar take his place amongst his guests. They shake hands and head inside of the main house located on the center of the property. The boat operator takes off in the direction he came from while the second person onboard stands guard at the front entrance of the house.

  There is a man posted at the shack and two more down at the pier. At the angle we’re positioned I’m not sure exactly where Renner and House have taken up residence, but I know they’re close.

  My heart is beating a million miles a minute. I’m sweating like a fucking pig, determined that no matter what happens I’m putting an end to this bastard’s reign.

  I motion for Nina to stay behind me as we slowly make our way through the camouflage vegetation. Sounds of nature, animals and bugs surround the vicinity making it easy to sneak close without alarming the guards. I can’t be sure, but I have a feeling Alizar doesn’t suspect this. There aren’t enough men to protect him, and he’s never been anywhere we were able to see him this close up. I’m excited, but petrified this could be a trap. We’re so close to victory, but that ill feeling overwhelms me. I worry I’m going to puke.

  Shaking it off as nerves, I pull out my flashlight and signal twice in the direction Renner and House should be. I see two flashes back and wait while looking to my right. If all goes well the other team will be in position and the flashes will get back to us from the opposite side. It takes a few seconds until I witness the two flashes. I’m not sure if it’s Malone and Cowboy or the other guys they’ve brought with them, but they are at least where they need to be. I flash my light three times in the direction of Renner and House and when it comes all the way back to me I know it’s time to move in.

  No
rmally we would take precautions to save the innocent people, but after a day of surveillance we’ve only seen his trusted employees coming and going. I’m sure he has housekeepers and cooks in the home, but their loyalty lies with a criminal, so I don’t guarantee anything.

  We make it up until we’re in close proximity of the house. The guard at the front door is looking down at his cell phone. I lean into Nina’s ear and whisper. “I’m going to take him out. Keep your eyes on the other guy at the shack. Make sure he doesn’t notice.”

  She nods and I kiss her forehead before sauntering toward the target. I’m not going to wait until I’m feet away. Instead I make a chirp sound and plant the bullet right between his eyes. He falls to the ground lifeless, and as I rush over to drag his body away, I see something out of the corner of my eye. It’s Nina. She’s running toward the shack with her gun up in the air. I watch the guard go down and her rush inside the building after her brother. “Damn,” I say under my breath. Nico is the least of my concerns. We need to capture Alizar first. I’m forced to make a quick decision. I wave my team toward the front of the house and have them prepare to barge through the door. When House and Renner take charge I rush over to the shack to be sure Nina is okay. I know I’m making a mistake, but I have to know she’s safe. With only seconds to spare before I’m needed in the main house, I burst through the door of the small building and realize this isn’t a rescue at all. Nina is standing facing me. Her eyes are wide with fear and regret. Everything around me ceases to exist. It’s just us and the person with the gun up to her temple. I’d know his face anywhere.

  Loud gunfire startles me. It’s coming from outside. Once again it’s an ambush. He led us here and now he’s going to take us out one at a time, starting with the person I’ve come to care about the most.

  Tears are streaming down her face. She’s petrified this is the end and I don’t know how to tell her it isn’t. “It’s finally a pleasure to meet your acquaintance,” Alizar announces with a deep accent. “Too bad the circumstances weren’t different, Agent Douglas.”

  “Fuck you!”

  “Lower the weapon or I put a bullet in your girlfriend’s pretty little head.” This man has no regard for family or loyalty. Money has consumed him. He is greedy and powerful, to the point of thinking he’s invincible. We’re in the way and he’s determined to make sure we’re no longer a problem.

  I’m aiming at his head, but he keeps moving behind Nina to keep me from taking the shot. I can’t take the chance that I’m shaking and accidently hit her instead.

  “Take him out, Moth. Do it. Take the shot! This bastard needs to die.” Nina wants me to have justice. She wants me to be the one to put a bullet in his head.

  “Last chance, Agent Douglas. Drop the weapon or watch her brains redecorate this place. It’s your choice.”

  I have to weigh my options. Which do I want more, justice or … what’s the word – LOVE? Justice or love.

  I know what has to be done, what I can’t ignore that has been growing since I first laid eyes on her.

  I surrender and place my gun on the ground. There’s another one behind my back, but I’m not about to risk Nina’s life until I know he’s distracted. “This isn’t about the girl. Let her go and you can put that bullet anywhere you want in me. I’m giving my life for hers. She deserves a second chance, while I have nothing holding me back. Do it. You know it’s what you want. I’m the one you’ve wanted this whole time. Here’s your chance. Stop being a bitch and do it.”

  He snarls, followed by a loud cackle. “Look at you, always being the hero. Does your girlfriend know how many lives you weren’t able to save? Does she knows about Maria and how you burned her to death?”

  I stare into Nina’s eyes. “That’s not true. Nina, don’t listen to him.”

  “Her blood is on your hands, just like your precious girlfriends. I’m going to make you suffer longer this time. It’ll be a shot you’ll never recover from.” I hear the gun fire, but my reaction isn’t fast enough. While she tumbles to the ground I dart forward trying to catch her. He’s shot her in the neck and the blood is shooting out all over the place. I put my finger in the hole and notice it’s a through and through. I’m concerned he’s hit her artery and she’ll bleed out in a matter of seconds. I block both the entry and exit wound, while I pull my gun and start firing around me. I don’t see Alizar duck out of the building. Everything disappears as my only focus falls on Nina.

  She’s struggling to talk. I hear blood gurgling as she fights to breathe. I’ve never felt so helpless in all of my life. “Oh shit. Oh God. No. No, this can’t be happening. Hold on, babe. It’s going to be okay. This isn’t the end.”

  She’s beginning to fade away. My eyes are burning and I’m struggling to keep it together. I don’t care if someone comes into the shack and shoots me dead, because I don’t know how I’ll be able to live with myself after this. I don’t want to. In such a short time she’s grown on me. I don’t know how it would ever work, but I at least wanted the opportunity. Now all hope is lost. I’m watching her die in my arms and it’s like a knife being shoved deep into my heart. “Please hold on. You’re going to make it. Don’t close your eyes, Nina. Please stay with me.”

  She raises her hand and strokes it over my face. “Sorry,” she manages.

  She’s coughing up blood and there’s nothing to do but sit and watch. I pull out my satellite radio and scream the coordinates of our location asking for assistance, but it will take a long time for help to arrive. She doesn’t have that long. “Don’t apologize to me, babe. You’ll be fine. It’s just a flesh wound.”

  “Moth,” she coughs. “I…” Her eyes close. I’m rocking back and forth still holding onto the two holes in her neck. The door swings open and I see House standing over me. He’s taken back at the sight and I hear him yelling something out into the yard. The sound of a helicopter is coming in. Had they already arranged for this? Is Alizar getting away?

  I can’t comprehend what’s going on. I’m too focused on Nina. She’s lying lifeless in my arms and I’m losing my shit. I want to kill someone. I need to, but I can’t let go. I won’t.

  Then I see it. A small door pops up from the floor and out comes Malone. She takes in the environment and sees Nina. When she turns to me she only tells me what I need to hear. “We got him boss. I’m going to need help getting his body out of the tunnel. He was halfway back to the house when I discovered it. He took two blows but managed to make it through the tunnel on the way back to the house. We did it. That fucker is dead.” I hadn’t been able to aim. I’d shot blindly

  My team works on securing the perimeter, capturing the surviving employees and seizing any and all evidence they can find, all while I remain holding Nina. They’ve gone over the protocols enough to know how to do them without me. I’m still holding onto hope that she’s not gone, though there hasn’t been a single breath, not one movement from her limp body.

  House comes to my side when medical crews arrive. They take in the situation and arrange for me to let go of the bullet wounds. Blood spats out as one of them takes over what I was doing. They’re calling out medical terms and getting her body on a gurney. I can hear the chopper running in the distance and know they’ll cart her off to a local facility. I have tunnel vision while this is happening. I can’t take my eyes off of her lifeless body. Covered in blood and filled with an unimaginable pain, I shove my way through the people until I’m climbing into the chopper. Nothing will keep me from this, not even the operation I’ve spent the last two years exhausting myself with.

  Chapter 23

  It’s been two days.

  I haven’t seen or heard from anyone in my crew, probably because we’re all in a world of shit for acting on our own recognizances. I’m sure I’ll never hear the end of this, and possibly lose my position within the agency, not that it matters anymore. I’ve seen my life flash before my eyes and have nothing to show for it. I’m in my thirties without children, without someone to share
my life with, and without hope that it will ever happen.

  Nina coded twice on the way to the nearest hospital. They had a pulse back when we arrived, and they immediately took her into surgery. I was lead to a waiting room where I sat for countless hours without word whether she was dead or alive. Finally a nurse came and got me, but the news wasn’t what I wanted to hear.

  I was guided to a hospital room where I found her on life support. Her neck was fully bandaged so it just looked like she was sleeping, instead of fighting for her life. I took a seat in the chair next to her and waited for a miracle to happen. The clock ticks. The days start to blend together, but there’s no change. The chances of her recovering are bleak. I’m faced with a grim reality while I pray to a God I haven’t given enough recognition to. I don’t deserve a miracle. I don’t even know if I expect one, but I still ask anyway.

  I remain at her side until that second day when the people closest to me hunt me down. House and Renner tiptoe into the room. They’re both staring down at a woman they barely know, probably not understanding what the hell I’m doing camped out at her bedside. They’d never understand what it was like to be with her, to connect with someone even when we were trying to be other people. I’m not sure exactly what love feels like, but as I sit by her side holding onto hope I’d like to think I’ve finally figured it out. Whether she lives or dies I know my life will never be the same. I’ve experienced it. I’ve got to feel it for just a short amount of time.

  “We took care of everything. The reports are filed. The president has invited us to a private dinner next week. We’re being regarded as heroes. We think the cartel will fold as long as we stay on top of it. We did good, Moth.”

  I smile, but it’s not because I feel happiness or excitement. “Yeah, count me out on that dinner. I don’t think I’ll be able to make it.”