The One Real Regret

by Janet Nissenson

Lorena, who had overheard most of the conversation, gave Jill a nod of approval. “For someone so young you’re very wise, Jill. And very generous of spirit, too. Max is lucky to have found someone like you, someone who loves him unconditionally and completely.” She grinned as she added, “But Delilah isn’t entirely wrong, either, so if the man offers to take you on a shopping spree or a nice vacation, you’d be a fool to turn him down!”

  Jill laughed, grateful to Aubrey’s mother for having lightened the mood. “That’s funny. My two best friends from college told me more or less the same thing!”

  Shoshana and Casey had, in fact, scolded her in much the same way Delilah and Aubrey had just done, reminding her yet again of what a wreck she’d been after Max had coldly walked out of her life. Shoshana had reprimanded her for forgiving Max so easily, while Casey had advised her to give him the cold shoulder for a few weeks as some well earned revenge. Jill had listened to them politely, thanked them for their concern, and then sweetly told them to please butt out of her life.

  “I know what I’m doing,” she’d assured them. “Max is different now, more open and trusting, and I trust that he’s not going to ever break my heart again. Besides,” she had added cheerfully, “I told him that if he ever even thinks about leaving me again I’ll keep stalking him until he comes to his senses.”

  The fact that Max as yet had made no reference whatsoever to what the future might hold for their still-developing relationship didn’t bother her - at least not overly so. And if at times she felt a little wistful that both of Max’s best friends would be getting married very soon, or that Shoshana was seriously considering cohabitating with her boyfriend, Jill reminded herself that she and Max had only been back together for three months. Both of them were busy with their careers, and Max was really just beginning to talk out some of his issues with his therapist. They were also still getting to know each other, still learning how to make their relationship work, and there was no reason at all why she should pressure him to take things to the next level - whatever that level might be.

  It was going to be tough, however, she thought wistfully, not to let her imagination start running wild over the next day or so. Being in such a beautiful place, surrounded by so many happily married or committed couples, and attending something as romantic as a wedding was going to make it extremely difficult for Jill not to fantasize about one day wanting all of this for herself and Max.

  ***

  “And the winners of the Newlywed Game are - Delilah and Finn!”

  Jordan and Max both booed loudly at the announcement made by the event coordinator who was in charge of the various festivities for tonight’s combined bachelor/bachelorette party.

  “Seriously?” asked Jordan in disbelief, scrolling through the list of questions each couple had been asked to answer about their significant other. “I mean, a total stranger could have answered most of these questions just by looking at those two. Who is the bigger flirt - Finn, of course. Who is the better dresser - not even going to bother answering that one. Who would win an eating contest. It’s not really fair, you know, when the answers are so obvious.”

  Max nodded in agreement. “Even some of the less obvious questions would have been easy enough to guess about the two of them. For example, I’m assuming Delilah’s answer to the question whom did your partner last date before you met was “too many women to count”. And her reply to what was your first impression of your partner must have been either a slob or a manwhore.”

  “Both, actually,” confirmed Delilah with a cheeky grin. “My exact answer to that question was manwhoring slob. And stop whining, Jordan. Just because you and Aubrey didn’t win - shocking, really, considering that the two of you are on the verge of being actual newlyweds - doesn’t mean the contest wasn’t fair. Now, where’s our prize?”

  Max chuckled good-naturedly as Delilah went off to claim the bottle of Dom Perignon while Finn sauntered over to join his friends. Predictably, he was barefoot, but since the party was being held on the beach, for once he wasn’t the only one who was shoeless.

  “Somehow I wouldn’t have guessed that Delilah had such a competitive streak,” mused Jordan. “Though I do seem to recall one evening when we all played Scrabble together and she was really into it.”

  Finn winced, taking a swig from his bottle of Corona. “You haven’t seen competitive until you’ve played board games with Delilah and her sister Desiree. I thought those two were going to murder each other over a game of Monopoly one time. And, yeah, my girl does play to win. Fortunately for the sake of our relationship I sort of stink at those sort of games. My specialty, as you guys are aware, is more along the line of bedroom games.”

  Max shuddered in revolt at Finn’s rather predictable comment. “Yes, we’ve heard far too much about your so-called forte over the years. Thank God you finally saw the light and realized you were getting a little too long in the tooth to keep picking up different women in bars every night of your life. You, too, Jordan.”

  Jordan nodded as he sipped his Mai Tai, a specialty of the hotel bar. “Can you believe all three of us are in real relationships? And that I’m actually getting married in less than twenty-four hours? With Finn following in my footsteps in just about three months time, and Max finally having a real, bonafide girlfriend. It’s sort of mind-boggling when you stop and think about it.”

  “You were the one who started the chain reaction,” pointed out Finn. “When you flew out here to Hawaii for a little R and R two years ago, who knew you’d meet the literal girl of your dreams? Though you came real close to blowing it with Aubrey when you didn’t tell her about the crush you had on Tessa, and how the two of them were practically twins. I still think the only thing that saved your ass, Doctor Dreamboat, was when Aubrey and Tessa realized they were actually half-sisters.”

  Jordan scowled at Finn’s very blunt reminder. “I wouldn’t talk if I were you, Finn, seeing as how you managed to totally screw up your relationship with Delilah by reverting to your old party boy image at the worst possible time. You’re just damned lucky that Max and I were able to convince her to give you a second chance.”

  Max gazed up at the nearly full moon, admiring its reflection on the water. “All three of us made some very unfortunate mistakes when it came to our women,” he acknowledged. “But none more disastrous than mine. Fortunately for me, Jill is not only the kindest, most compassionate woman I’ve ever known, but a very forgiving one, too.”

  “Hmm.” Finn finished his beer, then motioned the waiter hovering anxiously in the background for another. “So when are you planning to put a ring on it, Max?”

  Max nearly choked on his drink - a very expensive single malt Scotch - at Finn’s blunt question. “I haven’t exactly given the matter a lot of thought,” he muttered. “Jill and I have only been back together a few months, and I’ve spent at least half that time traveling.”

  “And she hasn’t thrown you any hints about taking the next step?” prodded Finn. “After you were such an ass to her in Seattle, if I was her I’d sure as hell insist on some sort of commitment from you.”

  “That’s not the way she is,” insisted Max. “Jill would never be the sort to push or pressure me or ask for something I’m not ready to give. Besides, having a relationship is one thing. Getting married is quite another.”

  Jordan shrugged. “None of us are getting any younger, my friend. And I can’t speak for Finn, but asking Aubrey to marry me just seemed like the most logical, natural thing in the world. I couldn’t envision spending the rest of my life without her. And if I hadn’t been smart enough to ask her to marry me, you can bet some other man would have sooner than later. As far as you and Jill are concerned - well, considering she’s the first and only woman you’ve ever been serious about, I’d say you’ve found your soulmate, Max. And you’re never going to find another woman as special as Jill in your lifetime.”

  Max reflected on Jordan’s comment as he sipped his drink and sear
ched the group of partygoers for Jill. He smiled to find her among a group of women who were all attempting to learn the hula from the professional dancers who were part of this evening’s entertainment. He recognized some of the other women as Aubrey, her mother, her best friend from college who was also one of the bridesmaids, her two former roommates from when she had lived in Maui, and even Jordan’s mother, who frequently dressed and acted like she was thirty years younger than she actually was. Jill was laughing merrily at her attempt to master the dance moves, and she looked so happy, so carefree and joyous, that Max’s heart gave a little lurch at how beautiful she was. It never ceased to anger him when he thought of all the years her overly strict, almost paranoid grandmother had forced Jill to suppress her true nature, to isolate her from other girls her age, and severely restrict her freedom. It made him happier than he could properly express to know that this was the real Jill - the one who loved to laugh, who loved life, who loved him.

  Jordan’s admonishment of just a few minutes ago weighed heavily on Max’s mind. He knew that Jill more than deserved a commitment from him, even if it wasn’t a marriage proposal just yet. He’d toyed with the idea on a regular basis of asking her to move in with him, even knowing what a major step that was for someone like himself, but had thus far resisted the urge. It wasn’t because he doubted for a minute that Jill was the right woman for him, or that he could ever hope of meeting a more wonderful person to share his life with. Instead, he still wasn’t quite convinced that he was the right man for Jill, or that he was anywhere near being worthy of such a woman.

  His therapy sessions had been going well, better than he had expected, though of course he’d initially approached the idea with a healthy dose of cynicism. But Max recognized that he had to put in the effort, not only for his sake but for Jill’s. And she was well worth the effort, worth any sort of work or sacrifice he might have to make.

  “It’s a great party, Jordan,” enthused Finn. “You and Aubrey went all out tonight.”

  Jordan grinned wickedly. “Since my father insisted on paying for everything, I made damned sure to order the best. It’s the least the horny old bastard can do for his only child. Jesus, did you see his new girlfriend? I think she might be a year or two younger than Aubrey. And of course my mother had to one-up him and bring along her new boy toy, who might possibly be young enough to be her grandson if she had one.”

  Finn shrugged unconcernedly. “Who cares, as long as it helps to keep them young at heart? Maybe they’re just trying to make each other jealous. Hey, wouldn’t it be something if the two of them wound up getting back together after all these years?”

  “Jesus, that would be a fucking catastrophe,” shuddered Jordan. “It’s a miracle they both endured being married all those years the first time around. Now it would be like watching a survival of the fittest competition, like The Hunger Games or something. My bet would be on my mother, though, she’s kept herself in better shape than my dad.”

  Max laughed right along with his two friends. “It would certainly be entertaining to watch it unfold. Finn’s right, though, Jordan. This is a wonderful party.”

  In addition to the open bar, lavish buffet, fun couples-oriented games, and the hula lesson, there was a limbo contest scheduled next followed by a DJ and dancing. Finn had chided Jordan about not having a proper bachelor party, complete with strippers and lots of drinking and a dart board, but when Delilah had told him they were also having a joint bachelor/bachelorette party when it was their turn, he quickly changed his tune. At least the dress code for the evening was casual, which meant that Finn could happily wear a luau shirt, board shorts, and no shoes.

  Max wrinkled his nose in distaste now at Finn’s boldly printed Hawaiian shirt. “And I’m very, very glad that Finn wasn’t able to talk you into wearing khakis and luau shirts instead of tuxedos for the wedding tomorrow. I love you like a brother, Jordan, but even for you that would have been a bit too much to ask.”

  Jordan nodded in agreement. “What shook me up a little bit was when Aubrey actually considered the idea for awhile. Apparently she’s always wanted a beach wedding, and far more on the bohemian side than I would have wanted. Fortunately her mother convinced her that if she really wanted to have the wedding here at the hotel where we met, she’d probably have to go with something a little more formal. I don’t think the Gregson Hotels do bohemian anything.”

  “I’ll be sure to thank Mrs. Larson then as well,” commented Max dryly. “Shirts with a palm tree and pineapple print aren’t really my thing.”

  Finn scowled. “It was just a thought, you know,” he said defensively. “After all, this is a freaking beach and not a ballroom. And Aubrey really seemed to like the idea for awhile, until the two of you had to voice your opinions.”

  Jordan glared at his best man. “If you’re so set on the idea, why don’t you try and convince Delilah to use it for your own wedding? Now that I’d pay good money to see - you trying to convince your fashion designer fiancée that the groomsmen should go barefoot and wear Hawaiian shirts instead of the gray morning suits I know she’s already picked out.”

  Finn had the good graces to look sheepish. “Yeah, well. I’m not that brave, after all. Not that she’d even take me seriously if I were to bring the subject up. Good thing we’re such close friends, though, Jordan. I can’t think of too many other guys in this world I’d agree to wear a tuxedo in a tropical climate for. At least the ceremony isn’t taking place until late afternoon when it’s a little cooler and the trade winds pick up.”

  “Speaking of good friends.”

  Jordan lifted his Mai Tai in a toast. “This means the world to me, you know. Having both of you here this week to celebrate with me and Aubrey. The three of us have been through a lot together over the years - surviving the roommates from hell our freshman year, getting through pledge week the first year in the frat house, nursing Finn through countless hangovers.”

  “You forgot about the time I had to bail him out of jail,” recounted Max.

  Finn rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but you never do, Max. We’ll be sitting around having a drink on our ninetieth birthdays and you’ll still bring that up.”

  “To lifelong friendship,” said Jordan, clinking his glass against the other two. “And to the end of our bachelorhoods. Even if Max isn’t engaged yet, I predict he will be soon.”

  Max frowned as he took a sip of his drink. “You sound very confident of that fact, Jordan. Might I ask why?”

  Jordan’s gray eyes twinkled with mirth. “Oh, just a feeling I have. Weddings have a way of bringing out the romantic in all of us, so let’s see what tomorrow might bring.”

  ***

  “Enjoying yourself, love?”

  Jill nodded enthusiastically in response to Max’s question. “Of course! I mean, who wouldn’t be having a good time at such a beautiful wedding? You know, this is the first wedding I’ve ever attended so I don’t have a whole lot to compare it to. But I’m guessing this one is pretty elaborate by most standards.”

  “It is indeed. Jordan didn’t spare any expense, wanted Aubrey to have a perfect day. And I would have to say he got his wish. Everything I’ve seen so far has been flawless.”

  She brushed a miniscule piece of lint from the fine black wool of his tuxedo jacket. “Speaking of perfect,” she murmured. “You look like you were born to wear a tuxedo. And even though you own four of them - or is it five - this is the first time I’ve actually seen you wearing one.” She ran her hand up and down his arm suggestively. “And given how hot you look, you might have to start wearing one for me on a regular basis.”

  Max guffawed, capturing her hand in his. “You look awfully hot yourself, love. I’m very glad you let me bully you into buying this dress. And the shoes.” He bent to whisper in her ear, “And of course the very sexy scraps of lace you have on underneath.”

  Jill looked at him in disbelief. “Bully is the exact right word. Fortunately I happened to fall in l
ove with this dress the second I saw it. And then almost fainted dead away when I realized how much it cost.”

  He shrugged, unconcerned. “For a Dolce and Gabbana it really wasn’t all that expensive. And you look so beautiful wearing it that I would have paid any price.”

  She felt beautiful in the floral print dress with its sweetheart neckline, sleeveless bustier top, and floaty, feminine skirt. The strappy black sandals had also been shockingly pricey, but Max had barely glanced at the price tag before announcing they would go perfectly with the dress.

  Jill had sat with Melanie and Jenna - Aubrey’s former roommates - during the wedding ceremony, since Delilah had been one of the bridesmaids, Finn the best man, and Max one of the groomsmen. Aubrey’s sister Tessa had served as matron of honor, while her strikingly handsome husband Ian had also been a groomsman. Aubrey had made sure, however, to seat Jill next to Max during dinner so they could be together for the reception. Delilah and Finn were also at their table, along with two of the other doctors in Jordan’s OB/GYN practice and their respective spouses. The wine and champagne had been flowing freely since everyone was staying at the resort and only had to take an elevator up to their rooms. Finn was being his most entertaining self, regaling everyone with jokes and stories, some of which were so bawdy Max had actually placed his hands over Jill’s ears so she wouldn’t hear them and blush profusely.

  The dancing began shortly after dinner was finished, and after the requisite first dances and ones with family members and the bridal party, the rest of the guests were invited to join in. Max drew Jill into his arms for a slow number, holding her close as she let her head drop onto his shoulder.

  “I love dancing with you,” she murmured. “Not surprisingly, you dance as well as you seem to do everything else. Did you learn how to dance at that fancy boarding school?”

  Max shrugged. “I seem to recall a few classes in basic ballroom steps, but nothing too involved. I consider my so-called skills extremely basic at best. What about you?”