Through The Lens

by Shannon Dermott

  Billy rolled his eyes and pointed to one of the framed movie posters. It was a movie about a major holiday that was star-studded and promised to be a romantic comedy. Josh shuddered. Jenna slapped playfully at them both. One of Jenna’s friends called out to her.

  She said, “Well, our movie is starting. Hope to see you guys in there.” She added that last bit with a wink at Josh. She was teasing him about whether or not I could get him in there like she’d done with Billy.

  Surprisingly, Josh said to me after her departure, “Do you want to see that one?”

  It was my turn to shudder, and he laughed.

  We settled on a horror flick. I wasn’t one for an action movie with shoot-’em-up gunslingers unless it was a superhero movie, and he wasn’t for romance movies. Horror was somehow the middle ground.

  Horror movies had their purpose. While watching you could find yourself wrapped up in the hot piece of arm candy you were with. So if you didn’t want to end up there with your date, stay clear of this type of movie. And this scary flick indeed had me on the verge of a shrill scream. With my head on Josh’s chest, I knew he wasn’t immune to the fearscape for his heart raced as much as mine.

  Having our fill of popcorn, I’d turned down his offer of dinner. It was kind of late for that. “How about some ice cream?”

  For someone who had been dieting, I found myself saying “Yes,” far too easily.

  The shop was on the verge of closing, and the girl behind the counter didn’t seem at all happy about serving us when she’d been ready to lock the doors. Even Josh’s charm didn’t take the scowl off her face. But we walked away with cones in hand.

  “Is there anything you want to do?” he asked looking amused.

  It was late and the shops were closed, and most families had gone home, but the place was still filled with other couples and giggling girls on the lookout for available guys. “The carousel,” I said, hoping he wouldn’t think I was silly or young for wanting to ride it.

  He smiled and hand in hand, we walked over the bridge that would lead us there. Halfway there, we both noticed the complete darkness that surrounded the fair-like area that held the rides. “Sorry, Jessa.”

  “It’s okay,” I said. It wasn’t like it was his fault.

  Tugging me to a bench, we sat to finish our ice cream in the heat of the night. “I didn’t see you around much this summer, what did you do?” he said, trying to make conversation out of the empty silence. His hand casually stroked up and down my arm. His touch thrilled and scared me at the same time. Would he kiss me? That thought kept running through my mind.

  Well, let’s see, not a lot had gone on until I met Ethan and Allie. “Nothing really until I got a job downtown,” I said.

  “Working, I guess that explains it,” he said.

  “Were you like in football camp all summer?” I asked.

  “Yeah, and it sucked,” he claimed. “It would have been better if you were there cheering me on.”

  Time slowed when I saw the change in his eyes. It said he was about to lean in and kiss me. I’m not sure how I knew, but I did. Licking my lips, I moved the remains of my ice cream away from my mouth in anticipation. My heart raced more than it did in the movie. Leaning over to me, he brushed my hair over my shoulder.

  He whispered in my ear, “You look better than that ice cream.”

  Giggling from his words, I realized too late that I’d inadvertently moved my ice cream just in time to meet his chest when he was making his way to my lips. Pulling back, I nearly died in embarrassment when I saw the huge stain on his shirt. His laughter helped ease some of my mortification.

  “I guess I’ll take you home,” he said, glancing at his shirt. We’d tried to get the wet marks to stop spreading with the few napkins we had, but it was no use. His shirt needed to meet a washer soon.

  On the ride home, I decided not to let silence take us there. I’d already ruined my almost first kiss. “Have you decided what colleges you are applying to?” I asked.

  He gave me an impressive list of schools that made my own feel boring. When he turned the tables on me, I shyly gave him mine.

  “I thought about St. Mary’s,” he said, wistfully. “But my parents don’t think the school is big enough.”

  “That’s what I like about it,” I said. “Plus it’s by the water.”

  “Yeah, I know,” he said. The somber timbre of his voice made me think his parents were the driving force behind his choices. “It doesn’t have football.”

  “Speaking of which, are you ready for the game tomorrow?” I asked.

  Perking up, he said, “Yeah, it should be a good one.” The rejuvenation of the conversation seemed to die at the end of his sentence.

  “You don’t seem all that excited,” I mused.

  Glancing at me, he said, “I don’t know. I like football and all, but I don’t really see myself playing the game in the pros. My father has other ideas.”

  “What would you rather do?” I asked.

  Fidgeting, I could see him trying to decide whether or not he could tell me. “I like to write,” he said. Trying to hide the shock on my face, he continued. “I hope to publish a novel one day. Maybe a spy series like The Bourne Identity.”

  “You should do it,” I said, excitedly.

  “If I did, would you read it?” he said with a genuine grin.

  We’d found that common thread between us. “Absolutely,” I said. “I love to read.”

  We talked a bit more about the authors we liked finding. We both liked Stephen King. “He’s the best,” he proclaimed.

  “Definitely a master,” I said.

  When he pulled up in front of my house, I hoped that he would try one more time to kiss me. It had nearly been a perfect night.

  “I had a really good time,” he said, looking into my eyes.

  “Me, too.”

  Taking my hand, he used his other hand to reach up, cupping the back of my neck and drawing me near. When he kissed my cheek, I thought it was a prelude to what was to come next only to find that it was the finale.

  “Night, Jessa.”

  Giving him a smile, I said, “Night.” Getting out of the car, I played it cool until my front door closed behind me. Leaning on it, I wondered what the heck that meant. A kiss on the cheek. I’d never been out on a date before, but with Madison and Jenna, I’d heard enough to know that this seemed odd. It was too late to call Madison. As much as I loved my sister, I wanted to share my humiliation first with my best friend.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Saturday thundered in with heavy cloud cover that did nothing for the heat and humidity. The house was empty with only my dad in his office and me lying on my bed talking to Madison.

  “When are we going to hang out?” I asked.

  Madison said, “You are forever trying to change the subject when you don’t want to talk about something. It may mean nothing that he didn’t kiss you, Jess. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

  “What if he only asked me out to try to make my sister jealous? He had to know we would run into them at the movies,” I complained.

  Her voice was clear as it came through, “Stop being cynical. You and Jenna are nothing alike.” A hmph sound escaped my voice. “Okay, besides that you are identical twins.”

  “My point, I’m a great substitute,” I said.

  “Give the poor guy a chance,” she said.

  “Are you working tonight?” I asked.

  “Okay, I leave it be for now. But you called me,” she said. “And yes, I’m working tonight.”

  “It feels like forever since we’ve done anything together,” I said.

  “Okay, how about next Friday, you, me and Bradley, do a movie night?”

  “Cool,” I said. The door bell rang. “Hey, I’ve got to go. Allie’s here.”

  “Okay, talk to you later,” she said.

  Already dressed to go out in nothing special, I headed to meet Allie to go shopping. I had a feeling it was going to be just as ad
venturous as the last time. Riding in the car with Allie to a store, we easily slipped back into a comfortable friendship that felt like years had gone into the making. Shops lined the streets in this part of town. Big name places and exclusive boutiques called this part of town their own. As she took an available parallel parking spot, which was amazing to find on such a day, we headed into one of those exclusive boutiques. I didn’t recognize the store name.

  Inside it was filled to the brim with an all-around colorful palette of merchandise. It was hard to imagine that the place would be easy to find items. I followed in the wake of hurricane Allie as she gathered garments like a pro. In the fitting room, I found Allie had picked items for me in my size. The girl was good.

  “I didn’t want you to feel weird by sitting and watching me,” she said, grinning. Again, Allie surprised me. She made shopping fun. My Mom, my sister, nor Madison had been able to do it. Maybe it was her sincere approach. She didn’t hold out on the comments if something didn’t look good with comment like Shank if something was a little too tight and That makes you look like a Nun if something was to baggy. Add to that, her way of making the silliest faces, no wonder she was an actress.

  We were a giggling mess when we came out of the dressing rooms in suitable outfits for each of us. These fitting rooms were small, and Allie insisted we needed to look in a three-way to make sure our asses didn’t look big, as she put it.

  The mirrors were just outside of the fitting rooms in full view of the picture frame window in front of the stores. The rows and rows of racks hid the lower section of our bodies, but our faces were in full view. Allie froze, and I bumped into her not paying attention. Peeking around, I saw what I already knew. The clicking of the camera was really loud especially with the sheer number of them.

  “How is that possible?’ I murmured. Looking up, I saw that the carefree girl was gone. The tight smile on her face said control. She must been taught that with the flashing going she had to keep up her celebrity persona. With a quick wave, she turned and went back into the dressing room, and I followed.

  Her hands were shaking when she dialed. The conversation was short but clear. Someone was on their way to retrieve us. I said nothing not knowing what to say. Getting to my feet, I prepared to take off the outfit that cost a king’s ransom.

  “Don’t,” she said. “It’s most likely someone in the store tipped them.”

  Allie was clearly upset. And I felt for the girl not to be able to go anywhere. I’d never had dreams of being famous, and this only confirmed it for me. But I changed out of the outfit anyway.

  Twenty minutes later a clerk came knocking on our door. Now dressed in her own clothes, Allie managed a half smile for the girl as she led us to the back. Standing in the doorway was Ethan. Not expecting him at all, my breath left my chest like I’d been punched. He held the door open for us. Somehow, he’d gotten Allie’s car without the notice of the paparazzi.

  Oddly, he handed me the keys. Leaning down, he whispered in my ear, “Take her to my place.”

  Nodding, I couldn’t shake the electric sparks that popped off my skin when he was so friggin’ close. So different was the feeling than it had been with Josh last night. Before I walked out of the store, the clerk stopped me and handed me a couple of shopping bags. Frowning, I didn’t know when Allie had made a purchase.

  “The manager said that this was on us for all the trouble,” the clerk said before disappearing.

  Ethan’s hand on my back, guiding me to the car, didn’t give me the option to protest. Taking the packages from my hand, he dumped them in the back seat before holding the driver’s side door so I could get in. His face held a grimace. This time I didn’t get the feeling it was directed at me.

  Driving a sports car makes Jenna’s and my Ford Focus seem like a toy. I tried to hide my delight at being behind the wheel in light that Allie was still clearly upset. After we were on the highway, I saw Allie relax a little. “Are you okay?” I asked.

  Just as the words escaped my lips, a motorcycle zoomed past us. Allie’s face lit up. “He’s such a show off,” she said.

  At Ethan’s house, he waited outside. Allie hopped out of the car and into Ethan’s arms before I had the car in park. Taking the bags out of the car, I followed them inside.

  Handing the bags to Allie, “The store gave me this.”

  She took it and set them down on the kitchen table after I followed her in. The first item she pulled out looked like something I tried on and so did a few other things. She looked in the other bag, and they were the clothes she’d tried on. “It looks like these are for you,” she said.

  A gasp. I shook my head in bewilderment. “It’s not like you can return them.” Her face was bright again. The brush of the invasion of her privacy was no longer affecting her.

  “I’ll be right back,” she said, taking her bag to head upstairs.

  I turned around, unsure of what to do and came face-to-face with Ethan. I didn’t hear him follow us in the kitchen, so I jumped, clutching my heart as it flipped in shock.

  “Didn’t mean to scare you. Or maybe I did,” he said, slightly amused. “So what happened?”

  Not meaning to pause, but unable not to because our relationship had been strained at best for a while, I waited a second more. This was the most words he’d said to me since that night I left him in fear. Getting it together, I recounted the story for him. Giving him all the details, I found myself rambling.

  “Well, you got some free clothes out of it,” he said, getting to his feet.

  “It doesn’t seem right,” I said honestly.

  “Don’t sweat it. Do you know how much free publicity they got? People will flock to the store just to see if Allie or any other celebrity shows up. They will probably buy something, too, just because. They will make the money they lost on giving you guys those clothes in no time.” I nearly gaped. He hadn’t spoken this much to me in such a long time.

  “Are you still mad at me?” I asked boldly. This was my shot, and I had to get it out before I lost the opportunity again.

  “It depends,” he said. “Are you still afraid of me?” He stepped closer to me like he wanted me to flinch or shy away from him. But I surprised him. I held my ground.

  “No.” It was a simple word, but so true.

  Allie strode in. “You are going to stay for the party tonight?” she asked. I looked at Ethan, then back at her. Him being so close, I waited for her to say, busted because I wanted to spontaneously combust in the flames he raised inside me by his nearness.

  Chapter Seventeen

  What makes a good party? Music, food, and drinks, or so I’m told. Allie always seems to get her way. She talked me into staying. This party would be full of people from their old school. But she assured me that I would have a good time.

  Dressed in an outfit that shouldn’t be mine, I stood in a corner and watched the mayhem unfold before me. Drinks aplenty and not the soda variety poured freely from a makeshift bar in the kitchen. My blue plastic cup cut a contrast to the white top I wore and was filled with dark liquid of the Coca-Cola variety.

  Music bounded off the walls like the place was wired like a club. I’d watched the transformation of the house in front of me, but it all seemed surreal. With such an empty house, the place was packed. Bodies everywhere were swaying to the rhythm of the current song.

  “Hey. This is a party. You should dance. With me,” a guy, just a few inches taller than me, said.

  Looking up into hazel eyes, I thought he wasn’t bad looking. I wasn’t certain of my status with Josh. But instincts told me we weren’t exclusive, even though I knew I would be pissed if I found out he’d been with another girl tonight after the game. Even so, it was just a dance.

  I wasn’t the world’s best dancer, nor the worst, just somewhere in the middle. My partner told me his name the closer we were to the dance floor, however, I wasn’t able to hear. Feeling stupid to ask him again, I’d let it go, wondering if he’d heard mine.

>   At some point, he’d maneuvered me to have my back pressed to the wall with another wall, this one his all-male body, blocking me in. Unable to move, I’d stopped dancing, trying to let him know I was uncomfortable. When he didn’t get the message, I ducked under his arm that was pinned to either side of my head.

  The guy was quick and reached out to grab my wrist. Ethan stepped in front of me. When had he’d become my personal bodyguard? His stance was a bit wide, with his arms folded across his chest. My former dance partner yielded with outstretched hands and walked away without a word.

  “Sorry about that loser,” Ethan said to me.

  “Thanks,” I said, looking down. This was the second time Ethan had come to my rescue real threat or not.

  “Allie?” he asked, only using her name and an arched eyebrow to convey the question of where she was.

  Tilting my head, I looked over to where she was surrounded by friends she hadn’t seen in ages. At least that is what they all screamed when they showed up and swooped in, leaving me on the outside of their inner circle. I was used to that sort of thing with my sister. But I gave her the benefit of the doubt; Allie had tried to include me. However, it was the same with Jenna. They meant well, but I just didn’t fit. You can’t fit a square peg in a circle of friends.

  “Oh,” he said. “I guess the welcome wagon of deserters are showing up in the eve of her success. Do you want to get out of here?” he asked.

  I did, so I said, “Yes.”

  Taking my hand, he led me through the throngs of people to the stairs. I’d never been to the second level of his house. It was just as naked as the first floor. Two things I noticed. The first was a door with crisscrossed yellow tape over it. Was this some kind of decoration? He passed by it without giving it a second look. That gave me a very creepy feeling.

  The second was a sign I couldn’t see from the top landing, but now as I stood before it, the sign read CAUTION in red letters against a black background. Those were the only two things that marred the pristine evenness of the wall color and doors along this hall.