Again and Again (Forever and Always #10)

by E. L. Todd

  “I love you too.”

  “It’s going to be alright,” he said. “You got all of us, your own army.”

  “I know,” she said with a small smile.

  Sean came behind her but stayed back, letting her embrace her family.

  Ryan pulled away then pulled a box out of his pocket. “I got you something.”

  She eyed the box. “You didn’t have to get me anything…”

  “Shut up,” he said with a smile. “I know you want it.” He handed it to her.

  She ripped the wrapping off then opened the box. A white gold necklace was inside. She picked it up and examined it. Small charms were along the chain. She examined each one. Each pendant had each of our names, and there was a final one that said, “Baby Preston.”

  Ryan cleared his throat. “I know it will happen for you guys eventually…”

  Scarlet’s eyes watered. “My family…”

  “You got a big one.” Ryan’s eyes watered too.

  “Thank you so much.” She hugged him and closed her eyes, a few tears escaping.

  I got choked up just watching it. Their sibling relationship was always a tearjerker.

  She pulled away and put the necklace on. All the pendants fell to the center, displaying each of our names. I noticed Monnique’s name was there as well.

  Ryan stepped away then embraced Sean with a hug.

  Janice stepped up next, holding a box. “I’m so sorry, girl.”

  “I know,” Scarlet said with a nod.

  They hugged for a moment before Janice pulled away and handed her the box. “Something to make you feel better.”

  Scarlet smiled. “You guys didn’t have to buy me things.”

  Mike shook the balloons. “Too bad.”

  She smiled then opened the gift. She pulled out a silk black dress. It was form-fitting and backless. “It’s gorgeous. I know Sean will like it.”

  Sean winked. “Oh yeah.”

  “You deserve to feel gorgeous,” Janice said.

  Scarlet put it back in the box. “Thank you so much.”

  Mike came next with the dozen balloons. “I think flowers are lame. They die then you have to throw them away…not exactly ecologically friendly.”

  Scarlet nodded. “Good point.”

  “But these will last, like, a week.”

  “And take up the entire house,” she said with a laugh.

  “But you can take them wherever you go and you’ll know I love you,” Mike said with a smile.

  “That’s a very good point.” She pulled him into a hug.

  Mike took a deep breath. “I’m so sorry, Scar. You don’t deserve this.”

  “It’s okay,” she said. “We’ll get through it.”

  He kissed her forehead. “I know you will.” He pulled away, letting me carry the pizza to her.

  “I know you liked food.” I didn’t know what else to say. What words could possibly make her feel better? She lost the most important thing in the world. A pizza and heartfelt words wouldn’t erase her pain.

  She smiled. “I do love food.” She opened the box and peeked inside. “A combination with artichoke hearts. You did good.” She closed it then handed it to Sean.

  I pulled the tickets out of my wallet. “I thought we could go this weekend.”

  She looked at the tickets and smiled. “Wow. The Yankees versus the Mariners? This is going to be good.”

  “I think we should make it interesting.”

  “Hell yeah.” She seemed genuinely excited. I’m glad I could make her smile, just for an instant. She hugged me. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. I love you.”

  “I love you too,” she whispered.

  “Who’s ready for a milkshake?” Sean asked.

  “They better be as good as MegaShake,” Ryan said. “I bought that blender from them.”

  “I don’t think it’s the blender,” Scarlet said. “It’s the products.”

  “Well, it would be a bitch to ship ice cream here,” Ryan said.

  The front door opened and Monnique came inside. “Sorry I’m late,” she said. She wore dark jeans and a black cardigan. Her curves and features were still highlighted, but she looked classy. A golden bracelet covered her wrist—the one I got her. Every time I looked at her, she had this effect on me. I always stared at her, hypnotized by her beauty. I wish I didn’t want her so much.

  “It’s okay,” Scarlet said. “We’re glad you’re here.”

  Monnique hugged her tightly. “You doing okay?”

  “Sean has been taking care of me.”

  “Of course he is,” she whispered. “You need anything?”

  “No. We’ll get through this.”

  “I know you will.” Monnique pulled away and patted her shoulder. “You know I’m always here if you need something.”

  “I do.”

  I was glad Monnique and Scarlet were back to normal. Living together for a month was bound to push them together. Scarlet never tried to sway me to get back together with her or move on. She let me make that decision on my own. It was a big difference from Ryan’s venomous hatred for her. When I glanced at Ryan, he was in the kitchen alone, totally ignoring Monnique.

  Monnique handed her a box. “I hope you get a kick out of this.”

  Scarlet eyed it warily. “That doesn’t sound good.”

  “Just open it,” she said excitedly.

  Scarlet opened the box and revealed a stack of lingerie and sex toys. Her face turned bright red.

  “It’s for the next time you guys are trying.” Monnique winked at her.

  Scarlet laughed. “Sean will love this.”

  He came next to her and looked in the box. “I like what I see.” He picked up a black ensemble. “I really like what I see.”

  Scarlet rolled her eyes.

  “Monnique is the winner for the best gift.”

  “What?” Ryan came back into the living room. “I got her a family necklace, and that beats some stupid lingerie.”

  Damn, he was taking this seriously.

  Janice grabbed his arm and pulled him in the hallway. I had a feeling he was going to get slapped hard.

  Monnique’s smile disappeared.

  “Just ignore him,” Scarlet said firmly. “He’s just stressed about everything.”

  Monnique nodded but didn’t say anything. I knew she was hurt by the look on her face. When Scarlet walked away, I swooped in.

  “I’m sorry about Ryan. I’ve told him to knock it off many times.”

  “I know,” she whispered.

  Standing across from her made me think of the kiss we shared. We hadn’t talked since it happened. I didn’t know what to say. I had a slip up. I shouldn’t have pressed my lips to hers.

  But she still looked sad, and I hated it when she was sad.

  Like an idiot, I wrapped my arms around her and held her. “Don’t let him get to you. He’s just…protective of me.”

  She sighed when she felt my arms circle her body. She leaned into me, gripping me tightly. Judging by her breathing, I knew she desperately wanted me to hold her. Her grip suggested she would never let go.

  “Cortland, I love you so much.”

  Don’t say it. Don’t say it. “I love you too.”

  “All of this has made me realize how precious life is. It could end so quickly. I don’t want to waste any time being unhappy. I just want to be with you. And if you love me too, then let’s not torture ourselves anymore…”

  Everyone moved into the kitchen to have their shakes. We were here to support Scarlet, and I knew I shouldn’t be having this conversation now. “Let’s talk abut this later.”

  She pulled away then leaned into kiss me. “Okay.”

  I moved out of the way. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop myself if I kissed her again. “Let’s join the others.” I turned away without looking at her face. I suspected she would be hurt.

  We sat at the table while Sean handed out the milkshakes. Scarlet had a chocolate on
e like she usually did.

  “I’m having a neo,” Ryan said.

  “A neo?” I asked.

  “Neopolitan,” he explained.

  “Good idea.”

  Monnique sat beside me since it was the only open seat. Everyone else was next to their partners. It was like she and I were together again.

  Ryan gave her a look of hatred then took his shake from Sean.

  I’ve never seen Ryan so mad. I knew Monnique did a horrible thing, but she didn’t kill anybody…at least literally.

  “How’s your new place?” Scarlet asked.

  “I like it,” Monnique said. “It’s a little small but I don’t need much space.”

  “It would be nice to have a house, huh?” Ryan jabbed. “A big yard with a fence and shit.”

  Monnique looked down.

  “Knock it off!” Janice yelled. “Why are you acting like this?”

  “Because she’s a bitch. That’s why.”

  Janice slapped him hard across the face.

  Shit. This just got real.

  “Don’t talk about her like that!” Janice yelled. “It’s not like you’re perfect, Ryan.”

  “I’m perfect to you,” he countered.

  “Ha,” she snapped. “You’re thoroughly embarrassing me. Keep your thoughts to yourself.”

  Ryan glared at Monnique. “Leave Cortland alone. He doesn’t want you. Get over it.”

  I knew Monnique wasn’t my girlfriend anymore, but I hated the way he was putting her down. “Ryan, please stop.”

  He looked at me then averted his gaze.

  “Monnique knows what she did. She apologized for it, and I’ve forgiven her. She and I aren’t getting back together, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love each other and respect one another. She’s still a part of this family and I don’t want you making her feel uncomfortable.”

  Monnique gave me a depressed look. “We aren’t?”

  I didn’t respond. Now wasn’t the time. “Ryan, I understand how you feel about Monnique, but please stop it. You’ve made your point.”

  Ryan finally backed off. “Sorry, man.”

  “It’s okay,” I said. “But I want you to apologize to Monnique.”

  “That’s something I won’t do,” he said. “Don’t waste your time.”

  I knew I got the most out of Ryan as I could. I would settle for that.

  It was awkward for the next twenty minutes. Mike tried to carry the conversation by telling funny stories about work. Sean hadn’t come to the office because he stayed home with Scarlet. In truth, the place had been in turmoil. We had a lot of shipments and legal issues, but Mike worked until midnight every night just to make sure everything was done right. I stayed and helped him. We never told Sean because we knew he belonged at home with his wife. And there was no point in stressing him out.

  “So…Diane finally came around,” Scarlet said.

  “For real this time?” Ryan asked incredulously. “She’s lucky she’s an old woman. Otherwise, I’d kick her ass.”

  “You’re very bitchy today,” Scarlet said with a laugh.

  Ryan shrugged. “She keeps going back and forth with you. What made her pull her head out of her ass?”

  “Andrew talked to her and she thinks she caused the miscarriage…” Her voice became weak at the end of the sentence.

  “Well, she was a terror to you,” Janice said. “She almost broke your marriage apart.”

  “No, she didn’t,” Sean said firmly. “I’d never give Scarlet divorce even she was serious. She’s stuck with me—forever.”

  “That’s not creepy…” Mike eyed Sean.

  “You’ll see what I mean when you get married,” Sean countered.

  Mike wrapped his arm around Cassandra. “Taking a wife sounds pretty cool.”

  “Cool?” Cassandra asked.

  “I mean, awesome.”

  She shook her head. “That’s not the right word either.”

  “Fucking fantastic?”

  “Just forget it,” she said.

  Mike shrugged. “Well, it would be fantastic.”

  Marriage made me depressed. I thought Monnique would be my wife someday. Now it didn’t seem possible. I was too hurt by what she did. If I got back together with her, a part of me would resent her. And that wasn’t fair to either of us.

  By the end of the night, Scarlet seemed to feel a million times better. Pizza and milkshakes were her medication. We worked hard to make her laugh and feel loved. I knew Sean appreciated it. I’m sure the past week had been pure torture for him. Losing a baby was hard on everyone involved.

  “How’s the shop?” Monnique asked Ryan.

  We all froze, wondering if Ryan would ignore her.

  With clenched teeth, he said, “Fine.”

  Janice rolled her eyes. “It’s been so busy that he ordered three artists. Now Ryan actually gets home in time for dinner.”

  “That’s good,” Scarlet said. “I’m glad it worked out.”

  “Which reminds me...” Ryan pulled a check out of his wallet and handed it to Sean. “Here’s your money back.”

  Sean didn’t take it.

  Scarlet pushed it back. “Keep it, Ryan.”

  He glared at her. “Don’t do the check dance with me. Take it, or I will wage hell.”

  I didn’t doubt him. He’d been on edge lately.

  Sean looked at Scarlet, asking her what to do.

  She sighed then took it. “My brother is stubborn. He won’t change his mind.”

  “I’m a man that pays all his debts.” He finished his milkshake and ate the cherry.

  Sean looked at his watch. “I hate to ruin the party but Scarlet needs to go to bed.”

  “What?” Scarlet said. “I’m not tired.”

  Sean gave her a firm look. “You need to rest.”

  After looking at the determined look on his face she didn’t argue.

  Sean continued. “You are welcome to stay and hang out, but Scarlet is going upstairs.”

  Scarlet hugged everyone then went upstairs with Sean.

  We went to the door then walked down the sidewalk to my car. I saw a white Honda in the driveway. I assumed this was Monnique’s. I was so relieved she had her own car. Now she wouldn’t walk home. Fucking hallelujah.

  Monnique grabbed my arm. “Can we talk now?”

  Everyone was piling into my car. “I have to drive everyone home.”

  “Ryan can drive,” she said. “And I can drop you off later.”

  “Umm…” I was thinking about how pissed off Ryan would be if I took off in a car with her. “How about I meet you afterwards?”

  “I’ll meet you at your apartment.”

  “No,” I said immediately. That had disaster written all over it. We would start off with an innocent kiss but then we would end up in my bedroom, naked and making love. I couldn’t let that happen. “Let’s get coffee.”

  “It’s midnight,” she said. “Even in the city, everything would be closed…unless we went to a bar.”

  I didn’t want to have a conversation there. “I’ll meet at your apartment. Text me the address.” At least she wouldn’t have to drive or walk home alone afterwards.

  “Okay.” She smiled then walked to her car.

  When I got into mine, Ryan glared at me.

  I waited for it…

  “What was that about?”

  “None of your business,” Janice snapped.

  Ryan ignored her and kept staring at me.

  “We’re gonna talk.”

  “About what?” Ryan snapped.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “We haven’t had the conversation yet.”

  “Don’t be a smartass,” Ryan yelled.

  “Dude, chill,” Mike said. “Why do you care so much? Would it be the end of the world if they got back together?”

  Ryan looked out the window. “Cortland was there for me when no one else was. I have more respect for him than anyone else in the world, and I will always be loyal to him. H
e deserves nothing less than the best. And I won’t let anyone fuck with him.”

  We all fell silent at his words. I was moved by what he said. When he came over for the holidays he never let on how hurt he was. I had no idea what he had been through with his family, and I had no idea Scarlet wounded him so much. But now I saw how broken he was at the time. I clapped his shoulder. “I love you, man.”

  He nodded. “I love you, too.”

  Cassandra covered her face. “Awe…”

  Janice made an emotional face. “So cute.”

  Ryan cleared his throat. “I’m sorry I’m being such a hard ass about this. But it comes from a good place.”

  “I know,” I whispered.

  “Just…think about it before you do something you regret.”

  “Thanks for the advice.”

  We headed back into the city, driving in silence. I turned on the radio to fill the void. Cassandra fell asleep on Mike’s shoulder, and Janice rubbed the back of Ryan’s neck.

  After I dropped everyone off, I headed to Monnique’s apartment. It was only a few blocks from mine. It wasn’t the nicest building but it wasn’t the worst. I knocked on the door and waited for her to answer, my heart in my stomach.

  She opened it. “Come in.”

  I walked inside with my hands in my pockets.

  “Everyone get home okay?” she asked.

  I nodded.

  We stood in silence for a while. I scanned her apartment, recognizing the familiar way she decorated. “It looks nice.”

  “Thanks.”

  I saw pictures of us on the counter. They were everywhere. I put all mine in a drawer so I wouldn’t see them. I wanted to throw them away but I didn’t have the strength.

  “Cortland, please don’t listen to Ryan.”

  “I’m not,” I said immediately.

  “I apologized and I’ll keep apologizing if that’s what it takes. Just tell me what I can do to make this work.” The desperation was in her voice. “I’ll do anything to be with you again. We can take this slow. Whatever you want.”

  “That’s the thing…there’s nothing you can do.”

  She sighed. “So, you’ll never forgive me?”

  “No. I’ll never trust you again.” I hated to be so cold.

  “I promise it won’t happen again.”

  “It’s just…I can’t forget what you did. You used to be the woman I trusted more than anyone. I knew you would never hurt me. I thought we were forever…”