Memories Are An Old Man's Toys

by Elayne Tulliani

  “Thank you, Billy, I know we have only gone out a few times but the past few weeks have been the best in my life. I feel safe with you, and you always find a way to make me see the humor in every situation. The thing I think I love the most about you is you have this way of making me look at things from a different perspective. I guess I just wanted to thank you for always being there for me.”

  They sat there for a few minutes and Sherry couldn’t help but wonder, “Did he notice that I slipped and said what it was that I loved about him?” She didn’t mean to use that word, but it just seemed so natural, and it slipped past her lips with complete ease.

  Their thoughts were running parallel because he most definitely picked up on the fact that she used the word love. Sherry felt a little selfish when she realized that she had been rambling on and on about her problem when just a short while ago Billy was having a hard time just getting up the stairs.

  She asked, “Billy, how are you feeling, has the pain gone away yet?”

  He was so deeply immersed in the moment that he had entirely forgotten about his pain. It’s not that his pain had miraculously vanished it’s just that he was distracted and therefore it was pretty much under control for the moment. There were a couple of things he had added to his task list for the day. First was to spend some time updating his project but that wasn’t as important as being here for Sherry, so he figured that could wait. The second thing was to talk to Sherry and let her in on his little secret regarding his financial status. He hated the word rich; it always sounded so snobby to him. He wasn’t planning on telling her until the next time he saw her, but since she ended up here tonight, he figured now was as good a time as any. Because he was so modest, he couldn’t bring himself to disclose his entire financial status, but he did want her to know that he had the means to help her and Lisa in whatever manner they needed.

  “Hey, can I let you in on a little secret of my own?” Billy questioned.

  She looked over at him with a playful expression, “Are you keeping secrets from me?”

  “Afraid so ma’am but don’t worry it’s nothing bad.”

  She answered, “Good because I think I’ve just about reached my quota for the bad news but I am always in the market to hear good news.”

  He started with a deep sigh “Hmmm where do I even start? I guess I’ll start by saying I didn’t keep this secret with any bad intention I just didn’t want it to get out and in any way change who I was or how people treated me.”

  She sat up a little straighter and said, “Man that’s a heck of a way to start off a story, now you have to spill the beans.”

  “Okay, here goes. Well obviously, you already know that I have lived here a long time and you also know that I’ve always been a pretty simple man.”

  Sherry chimed in, “Alright already, stop telling me things I already know and cut to the chase.”

  Billy shook his head and shot a look at her like he knew he had met his match.

  “Okay okay, don’t rush me,” he barked in a very loving voice.” He started to laugh and said, “You’re not going to believe me but here goes. You see this building I live in?”

  “Ummm yes” she replied sarcastically.

  “Well I own it, and I own the building that my shop was in too,” he announced.

  “Get outta here,” she laughed, and she hit him with one of the throw pillows from the couch.

  The truth was that he owned a lot of things including the rights to some of the most expensive software on the market, but he chose not to share that information with her right then.

  “So what are you telling me, that you’re filthy rich or something?”

  Billy shrugged, “I hate the word rich, I prefer to think of myself as extremely financially secure.”

  “Billy are you pulling my leg or are you serious?”

  “Serious as a heart attack” he confessed.

  Sherry leaned back on the couch, “Wow, I don’t even know what to do with that, I would never have imagined that.”

  “Don’t feel bad, most people wouldn’t believe it. I just always had a very hard time making friends as it was and I didn’t want to have to add agendas into the mix.”

  Sherry responded with a very understanding tone, “Billy you don’t have to explain anything to me, you know I am here because I want to be and for no other reason. I am just so shocked and happy for you at the same time.” Then she stopped abruptly and said, “Wait a minute, do you mean to tell me that you are rolling in the dough and you choose to keep those curtains?” She burst

  out laughing, and he joined right in with her.

  Once Sherry’s laughing subsided her tone took a serious turn, “Billy can I ask you something?”

  “Of course honey you can ask me anything, I have no secrets from you.”

  There have been several times in my life that my utility bills and rent have miraculously been paid on my behalf. I’ve always assumed that you had a hand in it, but I was never sure how I should ask. I was worried that if it wasn’t you that you’d feel uncomfortable. “Was it you?”

  “Well, to be honest, it was never my intention for you to ever find out I hope it didn’t upset you.”

  “No Billy it didn’t upset me, it made me feel loved that I had someone in my life that cared so much about me. You know I never would have asked for help.”

  He felt strangely relieved to have shared this with her. She had a million understandable questions about the other tenants and why he worked so many years at his shop.

  “Billy if you didn’t have to work all these years why didn’t you travel or do something else. I mean I know you had to take care of your mom but after she passed why didn’t you go do something for yourself?

  ”He thought for a minute and said, “You know what I

  guess it wasn’t until just recently that I started having a desire to do anything other than work. I guess I just figured I would work until I couldn’t anymore and then I would just wait to die.”

  “Billy that’s so sad, I’m so sorry that that’s how you were feeling. You have so much to live for and so much to offer. I don’t know what changed in your life, but I’m glad you feel differently now.”

  “You Sherry,” Billy whispered.

  “Me what?” she questioned.

  “You Sherry, you’re what changed in my life.”

  “Oh, Billy that is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me, I’ve been so happy too. I mean, you have always been special to me, but these last few weeks I feel like we’ve gotten to know each other on a whole new level and I’ve loved it. I guess what I’m trying to say in a roundabout sort of way is I love you.”

  Billy just stared at her, and suddenly Sherry was overcome with a very uncomfortable feeling.

  She thought, “Oh no, what if that’s not how he’s feeling, what if I misunderstood what he meant.”

  Just then he cupped her face in his hands and whispered, “I love you too,” and then gently kissed her lips. Sherry began to cry, but she didn’t need consoling. A tear just ran down her cheek, and she smiled. Billy reached up and wiped the tear away and then kissed her cheek.

  “Billy if someone had told me a year ago or even a few months ago that I would have these feelings I would have told them they were nuts, but I’m so happy right now, I don’t want this to end.”

  He looked very much at peace when he replied, “Everything ends, sooner or later, we just need to enjoy every minute that we’re blessed with.”

  She knew he was right, but it rang with such a tone of sadness that she just nodded and leaned towards him and rested her head on his shoulder. They sat silent for quite a while then Sherry lifted her head and said “I could go for a bite to eat. Would you like to go grab a late night dinner?”

  “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you hadn’t eaten, you should have said something, and we could have gone earlier.”

  “I know, but I needed some time with you, to just absorb what Lisa had told me and to finall
y come clean and

  tell you what I had gone through.”

  He looked her straight in the eyes and said “Sherry, I

  know there is nothing I can ever say to take away what you and your sister have been through but please, believe me, I am here for you, and if you ever need anything, please don’t hesitate, just ask. I mean it when I say I don’t care if it’s three o’clock in the morning if you need to talk I’m here for you.” She nodded her head, she knew he meant what he said, and it did give her a sense of peace that she had never known before.

  “Thank you, Billy, it means a lot to me to know that I can confide in you. Now let’s go get a bite to eat, and since you told me you’re stinking rich, I’ll assume you’re buying.”

  They both laughed, and Billy reached out and hugged her while whispering, “If you’re nice I’ll even let you supersize your fries,” they laughed again and then gathered their jackets and headed out to eat. After a lot of back and forth suggestions they finally settled on Kowloon’s Restaurant, they had great Chinese food, and the atmosphere was fancy enough that they didn’t feel like they were going to a fast food restaurant but casual enough that they didn’t have to change out of their day clothes.

  When they arrived, they made their way through the groups of people waiting in the lobby. Billy headed straight past the reception counter and over to the owner.

  “Hey, Buddy, who’s a guy gotta know to get a meal in this joint?”

  Sherry was a little nervous because they just walked past everyone who was waiting and she didn’t realize that the owner and Billy were well acquainted. Her nervousness gave way to a feeling of admiration when she saw how the owner greeted Billy.

  “Billy my friend, long time no see, why don’t you and your lovely lady friend follow me and I’ll get you seated right away.”

  A cluster of waiters and waitresses cleared a path as the owner walked through with Billy and Sherry following behind. “Here you go my friend, one of our best tables, your waiter will be right over, in the meantime what can I get you both to drink?” Sherry wasn’t a big drinker, so she ordered a ginger ale.

  Billy said, “That sounds good, but make mine a diet, I need to watch my figure.” They all laughed, and as the owner walked away, he leaned in closer to her and whispered, “I don’t think he knows what to make of me.”

  Sherry let out a quiet giggle and said, “Well to tell you the truth I’m not sure what to make of you either.”

  Billy explained to her, “My father and the owner’s father had been acquaintances years ago, and I met the owner a number of times through the years when I worked on their computer systems for the restaurant. Ever since then he treats me like royalty when I come here to eat.”

  Sherry confessed, “Well I felt a little guilty when we just walked past all the people who were waiting but I’m so hungry I’m really glad we didn’t have to wait in that line. I know they move fast here, but I don’t think I could have waited another ten minutes, I’m starving.”

  Billy handed her a menu, “Well then let’s look at the menu and decide what we want so you don’t pass out from starvation. I’m not sure how I would explain that to the paramedics or police. Yes, officer, I know we are sitting in a restaurant, but she starved to death. I’m guessing that wouldn’t go over too well in court, we better order.”

  Sherry made a goofy face and said, “Billy you’re such a comedian, I love this side of you.”

  They both smiled and then directed their attention back to the menus. They agreed on a pu-pu platter and a few side dishes and placed the order.

  Billy said, “While we are waiting for the food will you excuse me for just a minute?”

  “Of course, take your time, I’m not going anywhere.”

  Billy got up and headed for the men’s room which was located behind where he was sitting. When he reached the end of the aisle, he stopped for a minute, and Sherry noticed that he was holding onto the booth next to him and rubbing his hip. Billy steadied himself and then continued into the men’s room. Sherry was genuinely concerned when he returned a few minutes later.

  “Billy are you okay? Your leg looks like it’s causing you a lot of pain. We can have them pack up our dinner to go if you would like to get home.”

  “No, no I’m fine like I said I just overdid it a little today at the storage facility and climbing in and out of that car certainly didn’t help. I’ll take some pain medication and be good as new.”

  Sherry conceded, “Well okay if you’re sure, but I honestly don’t mind.”

  “I’m sure, let’s just enjoy our dinner and please don’t worry about me,” he patted her hand in a manner that almost felt like he was pacifying her.

  The evening rolled forward and was filled with effort-

  less conversation. One of the things that Billy loved most about Sherry was he didn’t have to think of things to say, words just flowed off of his tongue as freely as water from a brook. Their dessert followed dinner which was followed by coffee. Before they knew it, they were almost the only people left in the restaurant.

  The owner stopped by and whispered, “Hey Bill, if you and your lady friend stay much longer I get to write you off as dependents on my taxes.” They all laughed, and the owner patted him on the shoulder and said, “I’m just having some fun with you, you stay as long as you like, old friend.”

  When the owner walked away, Billy had a perplexed look on his face.

  “What’s wrong Billy, I’m sure he was joking.”

  “No, no it’s not that at all, it’s just that’s the first time in my life anyone called me Bill other than when my mom was slipping away. I guess it just brought back a memory for me. I remember when I was little I couldn’t wait to be grown so that people would call me Bill like my dad. It seemed like such a grown-up name, and I wanted so badly to be grown up. Now for some reason it just doesn’t seem to fit me, I guess I will always feel like a Billy.”

  Then out of curiosity he looked at Sherry and asked, “How about you?”

  ”How about me what?”

  “Sorry I have a bad habit of spitting out half asked questions. I mean your name, did you always want to be called Sherry or did you prefer something else?”

  “No, I always wanted to be called Sherry. My full name is Sherry Lynn, but that’s what my mother’s husband used to call me, and my mom would call me that when she was falling down drunk. So I guess I just learned to hate the name.”

  “Well then, Sherry it is, I’ve always liked your name anyway, it’s a sweet name just like you.”

  Sherry tried her best to hold in her smile, but she knew she was failing miserably as her cheeks felt flush.

  Although she chose not to say it out loud, the thought in her head was, “How could a man who was treated as horribly as Billy was, turn out to be such a kind and compassionate man?” She also wished she had had the nerve to approach him years ago; maybe they both would have been spared a lot of lonely nights. But the faith she had always lived by was that everything has its own season and its own reason, so she was happy just having him in her life now. Sherry handed Billy a fortune cookie and then picked one up for herself.

  “Let’s see what our futures hold,” she said.

  “Ahh Confucius says you must choose your own future,” Billy said with a silly look on his face. Then he took both the cookies and mixed them up in his hands and told her to pick one. Sherry laughed and chose the one in his right hand. She cracked the cookie open and read silently, “Yesterdays missed opportunities are tomorrow’s gifts.” “Seriously Billy, Did you have the owner write this on here for me?” holding the little fortune slip for him to read.

  “Humph, maybe there is more to these little gadgets then I gave them credit for.”

  “What does your fortune say?” she asked.

  Billy laughed, “Something about me needing to climb higher mountains, sorry that’s not going to happen tonight though. What do you say we hit the road? Although I think I could easily sit here al
l night with you, I’m sure the staff would prefer I didn’t.” They got up from the table, and Billy held up her jacket for her and helped her slip her arms into the sleeves. When she turned back to face him he reached out and buttoned the top button for her, it’s chilly out there he said, and for a brief moment, they just stood there looking at each other.

  Softly Sherry whispered, “Thank you, for everything

  Billy, I mean that.”

  Billy didn’t have to say anything; he just nodded and gave a meek smile. He knew she wasn’t thanking him for the dinner or the conversation. She was thanking him for just being a friend and for that, no thank you was needed.

  12

  SURRENDERING SOULS

  They headed out of the restaurant and Billy paused in the lobby to look around and locate the owner, and they waved goodbye to each other, then Billy and Sherry walked out into the night air. The first few minutes in the car they drove in silence. Then as if choreographed they both began to speak at the same time.

  “I..”

  “You..”

  “Sorry Billy, you go first.”

  “Sherry I don’t know if this is out of line or if this is even how things are done these days so forgive my awkwardness, this is uncharted territory for me. These last few weeks have brought me so much happiness and based on what you have said to me I think you feel the same way. I guess…” at that moment Billy’s voice trailed off into a series of half-spoken statements and Sherry could feel the nervousness in his voice.

  “Billy,” she said, “whatever you want to say, just say it, its okay.”