Where the Heart Lies

by Michelle Garren Flye

  “Oh God!” She broke free from her paralysis and raced across the street. She’d already reached the door and turned the key in the lock when Liam grabbed her and wrestled her away.

  “What are you doing? You can’t go in there!” Turning her toward him, he grasped her shoulders.

  “I’ve got to!” She struggled. “I can’t let it burn!”

  He looked at her, then back at the building. She could see understanding in his eyes. “Damn it.” He sounded resigned. “Stay here.”

  “Liam!” She gasped his name in horror as he released her and ran, retracing her steps. He paused briefly at the front door, as if assessing the situation. He used a brick to prop the door and disappeared into the building. The seconds seemed to go on forever as she watched the smoke billow through the open door.

  When the smoke gave way to let him back through, she ran to him, helping him back to the street. He staggered a little, coughing and grasping an object under one arm. He sat on the curb as sirens she hadn’t noticed until that moment became suddenly deafening and the street filled with trucks, men and hoses. Alicia sank beside Liam and he put his arm around her, pushing the object he held into her hands. “It’s okay, I got it.” His voice sounded hoarse.

  She looked down and tears ran down her cheeks to splatter on the glass of the neatly folded and framed American flag. The one from Ty’s coffin. Raising her eyes to Liam’s, she touched his face, ignoring the roiling action and smoke around them. With nothing else to say, she chose simplicity. “Thank you.”

  She held the flag against her chest, watching the firemen moving with calm efficiency, seeing the water spurting black from the hose and turning into bright crystals briefly before blanketing the orange, smothering it into submission. As the action began to die down, Liam gave her shoulders a squeeze. “I’m going to go talk to the chief. Find out how much damage was done.”

  He walked over to a man who turned at his approach. Alicia watched them shake hands and the chief glanced over in her direction. Both men studied the damaged building. She saw the chief shake his head, pointing and gesturing. They spoke for a few minutes more, then the chief shook his head again and Liam returned to her side. “He says it was probably electrical, but they won’t be able to tell anything else until all the hotspots are out.”

  The flickering break-room light. Alicia closed her eyes briefly. Why hadn’t she called the electrician long ago? She’d known something was wrong. She opened her eyes. “Was there any damage to the other stores?”

  Liam’s eyebrows shot up. “Minimal.” He put an arm around her waist, took the flag from her hands and began to lead her away. “There’s nothing more you can do here.”

  Alicia shook him off and turned back. Her eyes fell on Jim’s memorial wreath lying bedraggled and sodden by the curb. She remembered how Ty used to talk about his father’s bookstore. The way his eyes lit up and he laughed as he recounted afternoons spent there with his father. She’d once asked him if that was why he fell in love with her. Because she loved books so much. He’d shrugged. “Maybe” was his only answer. She thought about Jim’s quiet pride when the store reopened. Was it really only a few days ago? Less than two weeks. How could this have happened? How could she have let it happen? Her throat tightened and her eyes burned. When Liam pulled her gently against him, she let herself go, sobbing and clinging to his shirt with both hands while the firemen moved past them, polishing off the remaining flames

  * * *

  Liam took her home, making a quick phone call on the way so that by the time they reached the house, Penny and Millie were waiting for them. Alicia walked into the kitchen to find them sitting at the table, though she noted gratefully that Lauran and Sean had left. Millie rose immediately and put her arms around Alicia. “It’s okay, honey. I’m just so thankful you weren’t in that store when the fire started.”

  Alicia held tight to her mother-in-law. It was like losing Jim all over again. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m so sorry, Millie.” Her voice quavered. “I wish I had…”

  She trailed off because she had no idea what she wished or how she could have accomplished it, anyway. It was one thing to wish she’d called an electrician, but in truth, it wasn’t really her fault. How long had the wiring been faulty in the old building? Probably for the last decade. She bit her lip, thinking some karmic god really had it in for her. Stepping away from Millie, she sat at the table.

  Penny took her hand. “It’ll be all right.”

  Blinking back tears, Alicia shook her head. “I don’t see how.” She stared at the table. “How am I supposed to go on now? It’s all screwed up. So much has gone wrong—this isn’t what Ty and I planned. First Ty, then Jim and now the store.” She stopped talking and lowered her face onto her arms. She had no right to luxuriate in self-pity. Everything she’d lost, Millie had too. “I’m sorry, Millie,” she whispered.

  To her surprise, it was Penny who replied. “So that’s it, then? You’re just going to quit?”

  Alicia raised her head and looked at her friend, a little anger getting in the way of her defeat. “What do you want from me? How am I supposed to support my kids?”

  Penny frowned at her. “Well, you might think about starting over. You’re young. You’ve got plenty of energy and family and friends.” She gestured around the kitchen. Liam still stood by the back door, his arms folded and his gaze trained on her. Millie sat across the table, her expression so sympathetic it broke Alicia’s heart all over again.

  Anger fading, Alicia shook her head. “I-I don’t know how.”

  “Are you kidding me?” Penny stared at her friend. “You’re like a freaking phoenix, you’ve started over so many times. When Ty died, when you moved here, and before that, when you lost the baby…” She trailed off, her voice trembling, then straightened her shoulders. “You’re an intelligent woman. You’ll figure it out. And we’ll help you.”

  Alicia shook her head, her gaze falling to the table and her own empty hands. “I-I mean…” She hesitated, then looked up again. “I don’t have the money. I spent everything I had getting the store ready to open.”

  “It’s insured.” Millie spoke quietly and they all swung around to look at her. “Probably for way more than it was worth, knowing Jim. I’ve got the policy and since I’m technically the owner…”

  Alicia stared at her mother-in-law. “Insurance?” She felt like an idiot. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of that. But, Millie, are you sure? It’s your store, and you don’t have to rebuild…”

  “Of course I’m sure.” Millie took her hand. “You’ve sacrificed so much, coming here. You did so much for Jim, getting that store started again, and then taking such good care of me since he died. And that store is all I have left of him. He wanted you to run it. In fact, I’m sure he wanted you to have it. But the first step is to get it up and running again.”

  “We’ll all help with that.” Liam’s voice was husky. He placed his hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him. He shrugged. “What better summer job could there be for a college professor?”

  She laughed, hope filling her heart because of the support of her friends…and Liam’s return home.

  Chapter Twelve

  The bright morning light shining through the front windows contrasted starkly with the black ash and burned interior of the bookstore. Alicia paused inside the door, wearing the hard hat the fire chief had insisted on, and looked around with dismay. It was the first time she’d been allowed inside since the fire, and the extent of the damage was breathtaking. The only part of the interior that wasn’t completely scorched was on the far left, and she could see a dim gray film of water and smoke damage over the walls and shelves that remained there. She closed her eyes for a moment, took a deep breath and turned to the insurance adjustor, whose expression appeared sympathetic but in a forced way. Looking for something
to say, Alicia could only come up with a strangled and incongruent, “I’m sorry.” As if she were the hostess of a party and had suddenly realized the venue was totally wrong.

  “It’s all right if you want to stay outside.” The adjustor looked around. “I can find my way.” She sounded genuinely understanding and Alicia wondered if she’d judged the woman too harshly. “It’s hard to see your work destroyed like this, I’m sure.”

  Alicia nodded and took another deep breath. “I’m okay. I’ll just stay here, though. You can let me know if you need anything.”

  The other woman nodded and walked carefully through the building, picking her way over the debris. The door opened behind Alicia, causing a little tinkle from the scorched and scarred bells hanging over the door. She looked up and almost laughed at the irony of the fact that the bells still sounded to warn her of an intruder.

  The “intruder” in this case was Lulu, who came directly in and put her arms around Alicia. Alicia let herself lean into her friend’s embrace for a moment before stepping back. “Hey, what are you doing here?” She brushed her hair back and smiled when her hand encountered the hard hat. “Silly, isn’t it?” She indicated the hat. “I’m told it’s not safe in here, though.”

  Lulu snorted. “Oh, they’re just covering their asses. Of course, you have to wait for the insurance adjustor to make her assessment before anybody can do any real work. These walls and the ceiling look okay, though. I’m betting there’s been no major structural damage. But I figured you could use the moral support, anyway.”

  Alicia sighed and forced herself to relax a little. “Yeah, you’re right about that. I can.”

  The door opened again and both women turned. Penny entered, came over and stood on Alicia’s other side. “Sorry I’m late.”

  Alicia blinked. “Sorry? Did we plan to meet this morning?”

  “You didn’t think I’d let you go through this alone, did you?” Penny took one of her hands and Lulu took the other. “We didn’t need to make plans for you to know we’d be here.”

  Biting her lip to hold back an unexpected hitch in her breath, Alicia swallowed hard. “Sorry. I just didn’t think…”

  “To call us?” Lulu shook her head. “Think twice next time, babe, but know we’ll be here regardless.”

  “True.” Penny’s eyes were fixed on the cracked and smoky plate-glass window at the front of the store. “I guess we didn’t really have to worry about you going through this alone, though.”

  Alicia followed her gaze just as Liam’s entrance was announced by another fairylike ringing of bells. He paused, taking in the tableau in front of him. “We all had the same idea?” As if it were the most natural thing in the world, he leaned over and kissed Alicia’s cheek, then stepped back and looked into her eyes. “You okay?”

  Alicia nodded, trying not to blush at the casual way his lips had touched her face. Love for her friends and gratitude for their support now combined with guilt from the feelings Liam had wakened in her to create a churning cauldron of emotion that threatened to drown her in its depths. She couldn’t breathe, surrounded by so much love that her conscience told her she didn’t deserve. She squeezed Lulu’s and Penny’s hands before releasing them and moving restlessly away from the tight knot of friends that had formed around her.

  Kneeling, she began sorting through the debris. Most of the store’s inventory had been reduced to ash, and the possibility that any of it might have survived was remote, but with nothing else to do, she began pulling aside half-burned and still-wet boards. Liam’s hand on her shoulder stopped her. She turned, intending to protest that she needed to be busy, but he held up a hand. “You shouldn’t be doing that without gloves.” He handed her a pair and pulled on another.

  “How did you know?” Alicia stared at him.

  Liam shrugged. “Just seemed like something you’d want to do.” He glanced at the other two women watching the exchange in a bemused way. “Sorry, I didn’t bring any more.”

  “I brought my own.” Penny produced a pair from her purse.

  “I’ll get a box or two from my store.” Lulu turned to the door. “In case you find anything.”

  Alicia hesitated, looking at the adjustor making measurements and notes. She looked up when Alicia called out. “Is it okay? If we just sort through some stuff?”

  The adjustor nodded, waving airily. “Just be careful. Look out for hotspots. I’ve heard of them smoldering for weeks after a fire like this one.” With those encouraging words, she turned back to her clipboard.

  Penny looked at Alicia. “So, how do you want to do this? Should we spread out or stick together and do a section at a time?”

  Surprised to find her friends looking to her for direction, Alicia made a quick decision. “Let’s work together. That way we can be sure we cover the whole store. And if we start over here where the cash register was, we can search the rare books area first.” She sighed. “I don’t really think anything survived, but just in case, I’d rather we look before the contractors get started. They’ll just dump everything.”

  The three worked steadily for twenty minutes, and Alicia looked up only when Lulu came back with three boxes. She noted with amusement that her friend had carefully marked through some of the words on the cartons with black magic marker. She raised her eyebrows at Lulu, who winked. “Sorry. I just got a new shipment of vibrators, but I know you’ve got kids.” She upended one of the cartons and put a box of doughnuts and three cups of coffee on it. “I have to head back to the store for a bit, but I’ll be back. Call me if you need anything else.”

  “Thanks.” Alicia grinned at her. “For the moral support, the magic marker and the doughnuts.”

  Lulu saluted and left just as the adjustor came up. “Okay, I’ve got everything I need. I’ll turn this in and you should hear from your agent by the end of the month.” She peered at the mess. “Don’t do too much of this work on your own. You can have someone in here cleaning up for you within a couple weeks.”

  Alicia nodded. “Doughnut?”

  “No thanks. I’m watching my figure.” The adjustor waved and exited as Alicia pulled off her gloves and washed down a healthy bite of the sweet confection with a scalding sip of coffee. Then she turned back to where Liam and Penny were pulling a particularly stubborn board from a pile of rubble.

  “Shit!” Penny gasped as the board gave way suddenly and she almost sat down hard. Alicia leapt to steady her friend. Her eyes were caught by the wicked-looking nails, but a sunbeam cut through the dimmed glass to illuminate a spot of the rubbish that had shifted when they pulled the board loose. She gasped and put her hand over her mouth, almost as shocked as if her friends had uncovered a body.

  Liam turned with a look of concern at her reaction. Still holding the board, he followed her gaze to the glint of sunlight on gold-trimmed pages. He frowned and Penny, who had regained her feet, also leaned over the debris pile for a look. With trembling hands, Alicia reached past them and brushed ash away. It couldn’t still be in one piece. That would be impossible. She had left it on the counter. Surely it would have been among the first of the things to be devoured by the flames. And yet, her fingers felt leather, heavy and durable. She pulled the book of poetry from the ashes and stared at it in shock.

  “Is that my mother’s book?” Liam took a step toward her, his eyes on the book.

  “Yeah.” Alicia brushed more ash from the blackened but intact cover and carefully flipped it open. The pages weren’t as pristine as before, but every page was there and readable. Some of the gold trim on the page edges was gone and the rest was dulled, but nothing else appeared to be damaged by the fire or water. “I can’t believe it. I brought it with me that afternoon—the day after Jim’s funeral. Millie told me to get out of the house. I just wanted a quiet place for a while, so I came here. I stood behind the counter and read the poems for a while. Then I went
to the park to watch the sun set and you came.” She raised her eyes to his. “How did it survive?”

  Liam shook his head. “I don’t know. I don’t remember seeing it when I came in for Ty’s flag. But I wasn’t really looking, either.”

  Alicia nodded, cradling the book against her chest with both arms. She’d given up hope of ever seeing it again. It had come to mean a lot to her over the weeks, and its loss had been almost as painful as the loss of the store. She couldn’t deny the sense of hope and comfort its return gave to her. She cleared her throat, looking around. “Okay, what do you say we go get Lulu and I buy you guys lunch?”

  “Don’t you want to work some more in here?” Penny gestured around at the devastation.

  Alicia shook her head. “It’s too dangerous. There might be more books here, but there definitely are nails and boards and holes where they aren’t supposed to be. It’s not worth the risk. I don’t want any of us getting hurt.”

  Liam nodded. “Good call. I’ll go see if Lulu will join us. But let’s go to the bar and lunch is on me.” He strode out, taking off his gloves as he went.

  Alicia started to follow him, but she paused in the doorway, looking back at Penny. “Coming?”

  “Sure.” Penny shrugged. “What is that book anyway?” She peered curiously at the book Alicia held so protectively.

  “Just a book of poetry Liam gave me from his mother’s library. When I was cataloging it.” As they stepped out of the store, she turned to lock the door and paused. She didn’t have the key and the lock wouldn’t work anyway since a large portion of the glass was missing from the door.