Everlasting Light

by Shey Stahl

  His eyes, those piercing blue ones that screamed sexy, scanned my body. “They are fighting for her attention. They’ve just moved on from hair pulling when we were little.”

  “So hair pulling only happens in the bedroom once you’re older?”

  Oh, my God! I can’t believe I just said that.

  Immediately, I could feel my face burning.

  He didn’t say anything, but he stared into my eyes for a long moment before chuckling. “If you’re into that kind of thing.” He motioned with two fingers for me to lean in closer, so I did. Then he whispered in my ear, low and seductively, “But I don’t need to pull your hair to get your attention, do I?”

  “No, but if you pull my hair, you better spank my ass.”

  Jesus, just stop talking. Word vomit. So much word vomit. I wanna die.

  I think I let out a noise that was near a squeak but closer to a snort, either way, it sounded like something a baby pig would make and not at all sexy.

  Was I trying to be sexy? Uh, yeah!

  “I’ll remember that.” Beau chuckled and casually leaned back away from me, as if he was leaving me with those thoughts. When the commotion in the water calmed, I started to relax around Beau again, but still wasn’t sure what to say to him. I didn’t feel comfortable making conversation, in fear I’d say something stupid. Especially after the hair pulling comment.

  The music was louder, mixing with the nearby sounds of boat motors and laughter.

  The sun high in the sky, I soaked up every ray, remembering what it felt like not to have my nose in a book constantly.

  Beau bumped my shoulder with his and then winked at me. “Am I making you nervous?”

  “Yes,” I answered truthfully, smiling at him. “I guess you could say that. I mean, do people normally ramble and unconsciously make an ass out of themselves around you all the time? Or am I an exception?”

  I heard chuckling and noticed Miles and Wade carrying a bag of ice and eyeing Laney who was on her raft again. “If you want to keep your dicks, I wouldn’t do that,” I advised, but they ignored me and dumped the bag on her.

  Beau and I watched Laney come around, waiting for what her reaction was going to be.

  After screaming bloody murder, she shrieked out, “You fucking motherfucker from hell!” In the process of her flailing around, Miles had jumped in the water and took a foot to the face.

  Blaine let out a cackle, floating around on her own raft again. “Serves the fucker right!”

  When he shot up out of the water, after being submerged by her karate moves, it was evident his nose was broken.

  As we watched, Miles drag himself out of the water, dripping blood all over the white seats. Beau looked over at me with a sudden seriousness as he laid back on his towel, his body glistening with the summer sun. “Are you mad I kissed you?”

  He clearly wasn’t concerned with Miles bleeding.

  Looking down at him propped up on one of his elbows, my breath caught in my throat, thankfully, I didn’t choke this time. The desire and want was obvious in both of our eyes as he looked up at me. “No? Should I be? I mean, it didn’t suck, and I definitely enjoyed myself.”

  I’m thrilled you kissed me.

  Wait…enjoyed myself? That sounds dumb.

  “You…just—” he drew in a heavy breath “—didn’t say anything, so I thought…I don’t know.” He shrugged, seeming nervous and it made me want to kiss the hell out of him. “Miles said something last night about you having a boyfriend.”

  He thought I had a boyfriend?

  “I don’t have a boyfriend.” I gasped, blinking in disbelief. “Laney has a boyfriend.”

  Beau chuckled, rubbing his hand down his jaw, his hat concealing his expression slightly, his eyes narrowed at me. “I see. So you really did come to this party just to see me then?”

  I whipped my head around, nearly giving myself a neck sprain, shocked at what he said, only to have him wink.

  “Fucking Laney…” I mumbled, wishing I could fall face first off the side of the boat and never surface. I couldn’t even look at him. “I came because she wouldn’t stop harassing me about going to a party. When she mentioned you’d be here, I might have caved.”

  “And are you disappointed now that we met?”

  “No, I mean, I could ask you the same thing, but yeah…” He quirked an eyebrow at me, his smile higher on one side. “I mean, no, I’m not disappointed.” You’re rambling. Shut up! “Now that we’ve met and kissed, and I’ve made an ass out of myself many times, you’ve seen the worst possible side of me. And you’ve been nothing but a gentleman, so…”

  Miles groaned, holding a towel to his face, and sat down next to us. Soaking wet, he wrapped his arm around me. “I think my nose is broken.”

  I’d never been more thankful to see him, and I didn’t even like Miles, but he saved me from myself.

  Beau stared at him, a slow shake to his head. “Too bad for you.” Then he looked at me. “Wanna get wet?”

  “I’m already wet.” I looked up to meet his eyes, so afraid of what to say or do next, and then realized I should have clarified that last statement when Beau smirked, as did Miles. Fuck. “Okay.”

  Miles started to say something when Beau smacked him in the chest. “Shut up.” And then he gave a nod to the water, waiting for me to walk in front of him. “Let’s get wet.”

  Don’t trip.

  He made me so damn nervous, and when I snuck a glance at him, I saw his eagerness, every bit as intense and incandescent as mine.

  “Fine, leave me in my state of need,” Miles grumbled, and then took a squirt gun from next to him and started spraying Blaine with it. “Woman, get out of the water and fetch me a beer.”

  She flipped him off.

  I smiled back at Beau, watching him as we walked to the back of the boat. Running his hand over the back his neck, he removed his baseball cap and tossed it on the seat by my towel and sunglasses.

  I sighed at the sight before me—his rock-hard body, abs that begged to have hands worshiping them, and tan olive skin that made his bright eyes sparkle.

  Afraid of belly flopping in front of him, I stepped off the back into the water feet first. Beau joined me fluidly, like everything was effortless for him. Probably was.

  Swimming around, I treaded water, feeling the relief from the sun, watching Beau swim closer. Dunking his head below the water once, he then came back up as the waves from the nearby boats lapped at my face.

  “You don’t have to be embarrassed that you came for me.” He couldn’t even say that with a straight face and laughed. “Sorry.”

  It took me a minute to comprehend his sexual innuendo, but when I did, I rolled my eyes, splashing water at him. “Shut up.”

  Water beaded over his face as he shook his head, his eyes bright against the opaque green water and set on my mouth, watching me. “So you don’t remember anything from last night?” he asked, his chin dipping below the water. He was so nonchalant about the question I wanted to dunk his cocky-ass under the water.

  “I told you I remembered the kiss.” Heat licked at my sunburnt cheeks, the air around me a smoldering, disorienting haze with him this close. We came together, each of us holding onto the railing on the back of the boat. “And falling and getting drunk.”

  “Something tells me you don’t remember, because if you did—” he moved my wet hair to the side and kissing down my neck, holding onto the side of the boat “—you would remember how good it was.” My stare went to his biceps as he flexed to hold on. “And you wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off me right now.”

  “I remember asking you for more…but you told me no.” My voice was barely above a whisper, no way did he hear me clearly. I wasn’t sure why, but I let go of the boat and held on to his shoulders, the position bringing our half naked bodies together.

  I’m pressed against him! Yes. Don’t speak. Don’t say a damn word.

  In the process of holding onto him, I bumped my already sore he
ad against the side of the boat.

  Figures.

  Blinking rapidly, I felt the sting immediately. It’d be a miracle if I made it back from this weekend alive.

  Beau rubbed the spot gently with his free hand. “The only reason I stopped you was because you were drunk, and I wanted you to remember what it felt like.”

  “How what felt like?”

  “Me and you…alone…together.” He leaned in, his wet, hot mouth making contact with my skin. I swallowed, my entire body trembling in anticipation as his hand that wasn’t holding onto the boat touched my waist. “And me showing you just how good it would be.”

  Good for sure.

  Snaking my arms tighter around his neck, my heart thudded painfully in my chest as every single breath he let out caressed my skin.

  Was this real? Was this honestly happening right now?

  Maybe I’d hit my head a little too hard last night, and in real life, I was now in a coma and this was my dream. All of it was a dream. I was imagining that, out of the some fifty girls hanging around Miles’ house, Beau focused on me. And now here I was, wrapped around his body like an octopus.

  Feeling brave, my legs rose, locking around his waist when his mouth found mine, gentle at first, and then not so gentle, determined and focused, deepening the kiss.

  There were people all around us, in the water, on other boats, laughing and partying, but he didn’t care, and neither did I. He seemed thoroughly intent on making me believe last night ended only because I was drunk. Had I not been…well, then maybe more would have happened?

  Internally—despite thinking I was in a coma—I was doing one hell of a victory dance.

  I wasn’t one for opening my eyes when kissing, but when Beau moved, pressing me against the side of the boat, his grip on the rail tightening to hold the two of us, I wanted to see his face, his reactions.

  Opening my eyes, I watched him just for a moment. His eyes were closed, tiny drops of water dripping from his dark lashes like diamonds.

  He’s beautiful.

  Beau made a noise low in his throat, his hips making contact with mine when I slipped a little and, well, I slid down his erection.

  Beau Ryland was hard.

  And I made him hard.

  Me.

  The kiss was explosive as he pushed his body closer, a muffled groan escaping him. I gasped against his lips, losing myself in the kissing and grinding my center into him, when he chuckled, drawing back.

  “Slow down, honey.” His voice was strained, as if he didn’t want to. He licked his lips, and then kissed me once more, tenderly, drops of water falling from his hair onto my nose. “Fuck, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that kiss last night,” he whispered huskily in my ear when his mouth moved to my neck, his breathing heavy as his eyes fell closed and he sighed. “But we have all night for this.”

  I couldn’t think clearly enough to respond to his words. I was drowning in the scent of him and becoming dizzy and out of breath just thinking of what I should be doing or what would come next.

  I was perfectly content with where it was going, even if it was just a coma dream.

  I’d never been kissed the way he kissed me, or touched the way he touched me. I wasn’t sure I ever would be again.

  What would tonight bring?

  When our mouths parted again, Beau flashed an easy grin my way. I hated the feeling that drew me to him—a familiar compulsion to just get lost in his words and the smile that teased, demanding attention. I knew I should have been more levelheaded, but he made it hard.

  He made me forget every rational thought, which was good for once.

  Every girl had that one guy they couldn’t shake, or even act normal around. Beau was that guy for me.

  I breathed out, long and slow, wanting so much to hide what I was feeling. I knew the type of guy Beau was, or at least what I assumed a musician would be. Everyone did. But then here he was, sweet-talking, charming, and kissing me. Now my assumption of what he’d be like wasn’t accurate at all. He was more.

  “You have a sweet mouth, pretty girl,” Beau whispered in my ear, his hand lifting my chin, as if he was about to kiss me again. “I’m having a hard time waiting for later.”

  He’s so much trouble.

  “Why wait?” Just as I was leaning in for another kiss, Miles dumped a bag of melting ice over the side of the boat. The ice bounced over our heads like rocks and into the water.

  With the heat, the ice felt shocking, enough that I let go of Beau and slipped under water.

  “Whoops,” Miles laughed, peeking over the side, “didn’t see you two down there.”

  “Bullshit,” Beau grumbled, moving away from me.

  He helped me back on the boat, pushed Miles off, and then wrapped a towel around me from behind, hugging me to his chest. “I’ll pick up where we left off, soon. Promise.”

  I’d hold him to that promise. I would.

  Turning to face him, I let the towel fall off my shoulders. “You better.”

  His eyes raked over my body before he sighed, shaking his head. “You are too beautiful for your own good.”

  He certainly had a way of making me feel that way, didn’t he?

  FEELING THE STING of my sunburnt cheeks, I couldn’t stop smiling as afternoon turned to evening. Maybe it was from the rum in my cup, or maybe it was from having a good time.

  I had a feeling this particular group partied together often, as they did in high school.

  Miles, Gavin, Blaine, Wade, Payton, and Beau, they all seemed…close. It wasn’t long after supper and I began to feel out of place.

  We were back at the house and Payton kept glancing my way, her looks anything but friendly. She was nothing like what I knew in school—the sweet cheerleader who smiled at everyone and befriended the girls no one spoke to. I guess she only befriended them when she knew they weren’t competition to her.

  Now it seemed I was her enemy, probably because her man wasn’t far from my side.

  “I’m glad you stayed.” Blaine wrapped her arm around my shoulder, her gaze on the lake to our right while mine remained on Payton.

  The music around us was so loud I could feel the bass thumping with my heart as though they were one beat. Over the roar of the music, it was hard to hear anyone talking, much less the distant sounds of laughter.

  Around us, Payton and Laney danced with Gavin, Miles, and Wade, paying little mind to anyone else around them.

  Was she trying to make Beau jealous?

  I looked to Beau seated in a chair next to the cooler with his third beer in the last hour in hand, slow-drinking and watching me.

  I smiled, my stare drifting back to those who were dancing. For someone who spent very little time letting loose, this seemed surprisingly easy for me to be here, with them. I wasn’t even fazed by the obvious drug use happening around me, but I was relieved Beau hadn’t taken up a single offer pushed his way. I’d been offered weed today more than beer.

  I grew up in a quiet house, one where I didn’t have a lot of friends over. We had a small family and rarely got together in a large setting such as a party.

  In just a day, I’d experienced a lifetime of memories from the bonfires, slow cooked southern barbeque, sweet tea and rum mix, hot nights and sun-kissed skin that made me never want to leave.

  I hadn’t realized how much I craved interactions like this. It made me feel like I had a depressing upbringing and these people, they…experienced things, good things that made them who they were today.

  “Wanna go swimming?” Blaine asked, giving a nod to the lake, unable to watch them dancing. I really liked Blaine, her smile drew you in, pretty and fierce, but the sweetest girl I’d ever met.

  My eyes drifted to the lake, the sun was nearly set, a pink and red glow smudging the once blue sky, the air thick and heavy as it dipped behind the horizon. My skin glistened, the nape of my neck damp in the sweltering heat as I looked at the bombardment of colors in the sky. The radiant glow scintillated a
nd beamed off the lake.

  “Sure.” I hopped down from the railing I was sitting on, smiling at Blaine and then Beau, who was probably wondering why Blaine and I were suddenly stripping out of our jean shorts.

  I didn’t wait for him to say anything, or try to stop me.

  Running through the warm blades of grass, we didn’t stop until our toes were sinking in the red clay and onto weathered wood still hot from the day’s heat. We jumped off the end of the dock into water that was over my head.

  Swimming around to where I could touch, I heard Blaine laugh. Her eyes bright and wild, her wet dark hair stuck to her cheek as she swam next to me, bobbing under water until she found her footing.

  “We need some rafts.”

  We didn’t see any nearby and neither of us wanted to get out and look for one.

  But there was a group of guys swimming near us, splashing and trying to get us to join them on their big-ass raft. “Come on, baby, come over here,” they’d coax, raising their beers in the air.

  Blaine flipped them off, turning to me. “I think my brother likes you.”

  My face burned, as always, eyes fixed on the water. “He’s just being flirty.”

  Is it that? Or is it more?

  “He’s my twin brother.” She gave me a look that asked if I was that naïve. “I know when he likes a girl.”

  Beau and Miles came barreling into the water, flipping off the dock and sending a wave of water in our faces.

  I lost sight of Beau when he went under water, but I had a feeling he was going to do something stupid, he just hadn’t popped up out of the water yet.

  Shit, did he hit his head?

  Just as I began to panic, I felt something grab my feet and pull me under. At the last second, I held my breath.

  I couldn’t see anything in the dark water but had a feeling it was Beau, with the way he embraced me. I was quickly beginning to recognize his touch.

  We both came up laughing, my arms around his shoulders and his face buried in my neck. Our bodies making contact, again, so close and warm.

  Standing there, he let go of me and helped me back to where I could touch. “You okay?”