Family Ties (Hidden Secrets)

by Belden, P. J.

  “You have to stop. I’m trying to get you to my room and show you, it’s more than just sex. You keep this up and I might just take you against this wall.” I growled.

  She bit my neck causing me to release another growl before she licked her way up to my ear. “There’s always later for the bedroom,” then she bit my ear lobe as she moaned in my ear while grinding against me.

  That was all it took. Clothes were flying everywhere and I was quickly slamming into her, both of us moaning our pleasure. Her head fell back against the wall as I continued to push into her. She looked beyond sexy.

  “Oh…shit! Yes! I’m coming!” She screamed.

  I could feel her tightening around me. Mary pulled me closer to her as she rode out her orgasm. Amazingly, I was able to hold off my own release so I could cherish her like she deserved. She slumped against me. I moved us from the wall and carried her the rest of the way down the hall and into my bedroom.

  Laying her down on the bed, I slowly moved inside her. Trailing gentle kisses from her mouth, across her jaw and slowly down her neck, my hands wandered over her body, finding her breasts. I wanted to memorize every single moment of this…of her. No one has ever torn me up the way she does and I doubt there will ever be anyone again. The words may not be ready to leave my lips by the end of the night, but I will show her exactly how I feel. I made love to her. Cherishing every part of her body and giving her every part of my heart.

  With small gentle thrusts, I was resting on my elbows with her legs wrapped around my waist. There were just no words to describe this moment. I looked down at her as she hit her peak again and I realized in this moment what I wanted from life…and in my life.

  Finding my release, I lay there with my head on her chest trying to catch my breath. She ran her hands up and down my arms and across my shoulders. Looking up at her, it was a sight to see. Her hair tossed across the pillows, flushed face, beaming smile…I would remember this moment for all my life.

  “Mary…” I choked on the emotion I was feeling.

  She reached up and cupped my face. “I know Tobey. I know,” she whispered.

  I fell asleep with my heart full, but my head was screaming ‘Secrets are always exposed. You will lose her when she finds out.’ I had to force the thoughts aside. Tightening my grip around Mary, I fell asleep reliving those moments I will never forget.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Mary

  Waking the next morning, I was filled with more happiness than I have ever felt before. Last night, I know he was trying to tell me he loved me. I could feel it in his caresses, kisses and even sensed it when he said my name after everything had finished. Today was the best day of my life and no matter what, I will have this day to fall back on when things aren’t so great. What’s even better is I will have Tobey.

  Carefully, I climbed out of bed. Once I went into my room and dressed I looked back in at Tobey. He was still sound asleep. How the hell did I get so lucky? Whatever I did let me do it again. Smiling I walked into the kitchen and started breakfast again. This was a routine I could get used to. Because I was getting up a little bit later than normal, I decided to forego the run. Besides I think that Tobey worked me out pretty well last night.

  After I started the French Toast (not the kind you fry but the kind you bake), I walked out onto the porch taking a deep breath of the fresh air. This place was so exhilarating and I loved how at peace it could make me feel in a matter of moments. Sitting down on the porch swing, I wrote the last of the song.

  “To feel his heart beat so close to yours. Makes you want to let those tears pour. How can it hurt so badly when it’s so new? Why do you fall in love with someone who doesn’t want you? How hard could you possibly seem to fall? When the one you love doesn’t know at all. It can’t be said when you know it’s lost. Even though your heart has paid the cost. No love can bridge an endless space. No love can run in an empty place. It hurts so bad your heart breaks even now. You will get over it someday somehow. Lost…Lost…Lost in losing you.”

  Setting my notebook down, I took another deep breath. Writing this song really put a lot of things in perspective. Far too often I focused on what I was losing that I miss out on what I have. Everyone has a moment in life where they are hurt by someone or whatever, but doesn’t the saying go, ‘It is far better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.’ Well I wouldn’t go as far to say that it would make any loss better, but I can say that this feeling is one I never want to live without.

  Making my way inside, I check the food. Still needs a bit more time. Leaning against the counter, I thought about all the time I’ve spent with Tobey. From the week before coming out here to being on the ranch, every moment imbedded in my mind. When I first saw Tobey across that hall, deep inside I knew he was going to change my life. A small smile plays on my face. Of course I didn’t think it was going to be this good.

  “Whatever you’re thinking about keep it up. I love seeing you smile.”

  Standing up, I smiled at Tobey. “Good morning.”

  He walks up and wraps his arms around me, pulling me tight against him. Smiling down at me he lowers his head, sealing his lips over mine. His tongue ran the seam of my lips before pushing into my mouth. My tongue met his as a surge of lust coursed through me. Pulling back only slightly, he smiles.

  “Good Morning indeed,” he whispers against my lips before kissing me again.

  I think I could live by Tobey’s kisses alone. Each one filled me with so much strength, but also took away so much. When he kissed me there were no worries, nothing mattered but him and the way he made me feel.

  “Man, I’m glad y’all worked things out but not all of us want to see that.” Scott groaned as he came into the kitchen.

  Tobey pulled back but didn’t release me. “Uh, last time I checked this was my house.” Tobey teased back.

  “No, this is a communal kitchen therefore not a private area.” Scott smiled.

  I loved seeing them joking around. They were really getting hostile with each other. It didn’t sit right with me that I was the cause for their sudden hatred for each other. Neither will tell me that, but I’m not a stupid person.

  “You’re just jealous because I can kiss her whenever I want and you can only dream about it.” He winks at me.

  Smacking his chest, I lean over and check the food in the oven. Just as I was about to reach in to tap the bread, Tobey bumps me causing my arm to hit the oven door. Screaming I jumped back holding my arm.

  “Son of a bitch! Shit! Damn it!” I danced cradling my arm.

  “Damn are you okay?” Tobey asked concerned.

  “Oh yeah, I’m fine. Just wanted to test to see if I could make it as a fucking sailor! No I’m not okay. I burnt my freaking arm.”

  Tears were filling my eyes as Tobey led me over to the sink and ran cold water on my arm. It burnt at first but soon the coolness of the water slowly ebbed away the burning. Tobey turned to John.

  “Go to the barn and get the first aid kit. Hurry up.”

  Looking at him confused, “You leave your first aid kit in the barn? Why not in the house?”

  He pulls my arm out from under the water to look at it then pushes it back under the water before answering.

  “Because nine times out of ten, we are in or near the barn when we need it. So instead of coming all the way into the house to get it when we need it, I just leave it in the barn. You have to remember babe, we practically live in the barn.”

  John came running back into the kitchen with the first aid kit in hand. Tobey ruffles through the contents before finding a packet of something. When he catches my wide eyes he explains that it is burn cream. Tobey very carefully dries my arm and around the burn then squeezes the packet’s contents on the burn. He blew on it for a few minutes before putting a bandage over it.

  Smiling he says, “All better. Would you like a treat for being such a good patient?”

  “Yes please,” I smile big.

  “Fo
r lunch. I have a surprise for you,” he wiggles his eye brows causing me to laugh.

  Tobey pulls out breakfast which is cooked perfectly and everyone eats. It took some convincing for Tobey not to take it easy on me because of the burn, but I got my way. He gave me a long list to do. Hopefully I could pull this off by the time lunch rolled around so I could make lunch. I really liked feeding everyone. It was like having a family of my own. Cooking for my boys. I grin at the thought.

  As I start to clean the stalls (I swear he has me do it more than necessary) I begin to think about my dream of owning a ranch. My dream wasn’t about my own ranch but this ranch with Tobey. To be able to wake up, work with and go to bed with him every day, just seemed more happier for me. No matter how much work Tobey has pushed on me in the past couple of days here, it hasn’t teetered me from wanting my own ranch. Actually because of it, I wanted it even more. It wasn’t monotonous or boring. There was always something to do and it was manual labor, which I loved. I loved working up a sweat. Smiling I thought of another way I like working up a sweat too.

  “Hey beautiful. With a smile like that it can only mean you were thinking about me.” Tobey says as he wraps his arms around my waist hugging me from behind.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked leaning back into his embrace.

  He snuggles into me further. “I told you I had a surprise for you for lunch.”

  “Is it that time already?”

  He laughs. “Yes, ma’am. So come on, the surprise awaits.”

  I smiled at him, ran inside to wash my hands and face, then head back out to Tobey. That was when I remembered lunch for the guys.

  “Tobey, the guys need lunch too.”

  “Nope already took care of that, come on. No more excuses you’re going to have to be alone with me.” He smiles his sexy as sin smile.

  Taking my hand he leads me over to a horse where he mounts and reaches a hand down to me. The look of him on this massive black horse while reaching a hand down, smiling at me left me breathless. Whispering a ‘wow’, I reach my hand up taking his. Tobey almost effortlessly lifted me on the horse and sat me in front of him. Once he wrapped his arms around me, we started moving. It was so damn beautiful out here.

  “You are so lucky. This place just keeps me in a peaceful state and my brain can shut off for a little while.”

  “It’s great, but even better when you have someone to share it with.” He says looking down at me then placing a soft kiss on my nose.

  “Tobey?” I ask after a few minutes of peace.

  “Hmmm.”

  “Why me?”

  He stops the horse and looks down at me dumbfounded. “You just don’t get it do you?”

  “What I don’t get is, if this is really happening or will the bubble burst. Is it only an infatuation with someone that everyone wants to get their hands on?”

  I kept staring forward, I couldn’t bring myself to look him in the eyes. This was the most vulnerable I’ve let myself get. Showing your vulnerability in my business left you open to be attacked by the reporters just looking to bring you down.

  Tobey doesn’t say anything for a little while before he turns my head to look at him. His eyes searched mine for a moment before he finally spoke.

  “Before my mom and dad died, I was dating this woman. She was, I thought at the time, my everything. Anything she wanted I got for her, I did for her. Even pushing my parents away because she didn’t care for them. If she was happy, that was all I cared about. I had gone away on a trip for about two and a half weeks. I came back but instead of celebrating being back, she had to leave for a conference for work. When she got back, we hadn’t seen each other for about six weeks. Then she told me she was pregnant. I’ll be honest with you, I was scared at first. Not that I didn’t want kids, I just wasn’t sure that was the right time to have them. Well to keep a long boring story short. It wasn’t my kid. She was sleeping with one of my friends. In that moment I realized that the reason I never asked her to marry me or wanted kids or any of that was because it wasn’t love I was feeling. Yes I had feelings for her, but it wasn’t anything compared to what I felt when our eyes met at that meet and greet. It certainly wasn’t what I feel right now.”

  “Tobey,” I breathe as he cups my face in his hands.

  “When I first saw you, everything stopped. I had seen your pictures before but nothing prepared me for how stunningly beautiful you were all casual. You weren’t all done up or anything…simply beautiful. Everything told me to stay away because someone like you wouldn’t want a lowly rancher like me. But I just couldn’t stay away. Why you, Mary? Because from the day I met you, you became my everything. Every thought. Every reason. Everything. That is why you.”

  I couldn’t breathe. No thoughts registered. All I could do is hold my hand over my mouth and shake my head back and forth like an idiot. Tears filled my eyes, but still I could say nothing. What could I say to that?

  “Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. I didn’t know any other way to get you to see I was telling the truth.”

  Leaning down he kisses me, soft and slow. Sadly it was also a short kiss. Then he turns me back around and we start moving again. My mind was racing. Last night while we made love, I swore he was saying he loved me, then this speech just now. Could he really love me? Was I not the only one in this? Could he love me back?

  Before long we were stopping by a tree. Hopping down from the horse, he reaches up and grabs me. Slowly lowering me down his body. This man knew how to drive me crazy. He knew how to work me up. Pulling a blanket and a basket from the other side of the horse, he takes my hand and leads me over to another tree.

  Stopping in my tracks, “Oh my God!”

  The view was amazing. We stood on top of a hill. Stretching out in front of us was a large grassy meadow that ended at a water of some sort; lake or pond or something of the like with trees all around. It was breathtaking.

  “Glad you like it. This is my favorite spot to just come to when I need to relax or get away. Thought I’d share it with you.”

  “Thank you.” It was all I could say.

  I was so busy staring at the view that I hadn’t noticed that he had laid down the blanket and pulled out food and drinks from the basket until he pulled me down to his lap. He laughed as I screamed whilst falling down toward him. He gave me that devilish smile that always had my body tingling in anticipation.

  “Now let’s eat so I can devour you for dessert,” he says wiggling his eyebrows.

  I laughed nervously. There was no getting around this. Judging by the look in his eyes he knew the truth too. Still even though I knew that I still had to put up an effort to keep from eating and taking the chance to gain any weight.

  “I, uh, am not really hungry right now, Tobey.” I said as I climbed off his lap and walked a few steps away.

  “Sure you are. You didn’t have a big breakfast and you have busted your butt until now. Come on enjoy a nice picnic lunch with me.”

  It was obvious now that he wasn’t going to give up. God, why does he have to be so nosey? He would never understand why I was doing what I was doing.

  Of course he wouldn’t because you won’t tell him, said a voice in my head. Squaring my shoulders as he piled food on a plate for me, I tried to make my voice more firm.

  “I am not eating Tobey.”

  “Why?” Now I see the anger in his eyes. Well he was about to get even angrier because I was going to be brutally honest with him and leave; even if I had to run all the way back to the ranch.

  “Because I am not eating right now, that’s why.”

  “That is stupid! You are going to get over here and eat before you end up killing yourself.”

  “You can’t make me eat, Tobey. You’re not my boss!”

  “I may not be your boss, but dammit I care about you! I’m not going to sit by while you slowly kill yourself!”

  “If I eat I might as well be dead!” I screamed, tears falling down my cheeks. Tobey rushed over and
took me in his arms.

  “Why, sweetheart, why would you think that?”

  “Because Kyle will… If I gain weight or worse… stay the same weight…I am too fat as it is, he says…” I couldn’t complete any of the sentences I started to explain.

  “Sweetheart, you’re perfect. You don’t need to lose weight. You’re beautiful.”

  Pushing away from him, I paced back and forth trying not to take what I was feeling out on Tobey. But I was so worked up that when I spun around to yell at him I got really dizzy and started to stumble backwards. Tobey caught me and sat on the ground with me cradled in his lap.

  “Baby, are you okay?”

  “Yes, I’m fine. I’m a little dizzy and tired.”

  Standing, Tobey carried me over to the blanket and got me some food. “Don’t fight me on this, just eat please.”

  I could hear the concern in his voice. So I ate the food he offered me. He gave me some juice and more to eat. After finishing up, I started feeling a little better.

  “Thank you.”

  “You don’t have to worry about gaining weight out here Mary. You work too hard for any of the food to stick. Please promise me you’ll eat.”

  I nod my head unsure if I can trust my own voice. Tobey sighs in relief.

  “Why don’t you just get rid of Kyle?”

  “I can’t,” I sighed.

  There was no way he would understand unless I told him the truth, but I wasn’t sure I could do that. I liked having him around too much to want to risk any of it.

  “What do you mean you can’t? You’re the boss, just fire him.”

  “You wouldn’t understand.”

  “So explain it to me, sweetheart.”

  By the look in his eyes, I could tell that he was not going to give this up until he got the answers he was after. With no other choice, I would have to tell him and hope it didn’t change anything between us.