Nic

by J. M. Stewart

  Yearning to see him, she rolled over, careful not to wake him. Face slack in slumber, he looked peaceful, like he hadn’t a care in the world.

  She traced his features with her gaze then followed the path with her fingertips. Over his eyebrows and down his nose. Along his full bottom lip. The man made her yearn for things she hadn’t dreamt of in years. To know the tenderness of his touch, to feel the pulse of arousal. Even now, his supple lips called to her. How many women had he wooed with this mouth?

  She didn’t know quite what made her do it. Maybe the dulling of her emotions or the sense of safety he gave her had made her brave. Falling asleep in his arms last night had been the most intimacy she’d shared with a man in a long time. Real intimacy. Not something someone took or demanded from her. Right then, a sense of closeness she’d never known before settled around her. Maybe insanity or pent-up desires had finally gotten to her.

  Whatever the reason, before she could stop herself, she leaned forward and pressed her mouth to his. She wouldn’t have taken such a liberty were he awake, but she only wanted a taste. Just one. Nic’s lips were far softer than she’d expected, luxuriously smooth and warm. Too bad he wasn’t awake. She’d bet his kiss would curl her toes.

  As she pulled back, Nic’s eyes popped open. Her mouth inches from his, she froze, her heart lodging in her throat. Oh God. She jerked away from him, attempting to sit up, but his arm tightened around her waist, holding her firmly against him.

  “Morning.”

  His sleepy rumble sent shivers down her spine, but her heart was a runaway freight train in her chest. She swallowed, searched his face, and prayed he wouldn’t be angry. “Morning.”

  “You have me at a disadvantage, madam. Care to tell me why you’re kissing a sleeping man?”

  Heat flooded her face. She swallowed past the lump stuck in her throat and looked down at his chest, too ashamed to meet his gaze. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you. If the tables were reversed, I’d be angry with you.”

  “I didn’t say I minded, sweetheart. I’m only curious to know why you did it while I was sleeping.” His fingers strummed her lower back, stroking the skin exposed above where her T-shirt had ridden up. His soft fingers caressed in an idle fashion but created the most delicious sensations.

  Goose bumps scattered across the surface of her skin. Her heart picked up an erratic beat. She lay plastered against his warm, deliciously masculine body. Nic was aroused, and his erection pressed hard against her hip. Although experience told her men often woke up that way, a primal heat flooded her body, pooling hot and luscious between her thighs.

  She drew in a shuddering breath and attempted, again, to push away from him. This time, he let her, and she sat up, turning to the edge of the bed. “I wanted to know.”

  The bed shifted behind her. “Know what?”

  “What it felt like to … ” She drew another breath and blew it out. She’d kissed the man while he slept. He deserved honesty, even if it made her want to hide under the bed. “To know what it felt like to kiss someone who wouldn’t hurt me.”

  Nic didn’t say anything. For so long her stomach clenched, her body taut as a bowstring as she waited. A small part of her still expected the strike to come.

  “I’m much better at kissing when I’m awake.” His voice came barely above a whisper, low in the space between them, gentle and … intimate. The words shivered down her spine like a caress between lovers.

  She shook her head, the heat in her face deepening. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have.”

  “Try again, Anna.” Nic placed his hand on top of hers, where it rested on the bed beside her. His thumb stroked her wrist, sending little tingles shooting up her arm. “I didn’t say I didn’t want you to. I only said you took me by surprise. It’s not often I wake to a woman next to me.”

  The amusement in his voice got to her. She looked back, needing to see his face, his eyes. Nic sat up and scooted closer, his movements slow and exaggerated, giving her time to protest. Not that she could.

  He shifted to sit beside her, his hip and thigh pressed against hers, warm and solid. His face sat inches from hers, and his warm breath whispered over her lips. He slid his hand around her waist, grazing the top of her rear end on its way to the opposite hip. His strong arm around her sent another delightful shiver through her. Being so close to the body she’d ogled the day she caught him out of the shower was like being offered the finest chocolate. Sinfully rich and delicious.

  His gaze dipped for a moment before meeting hers again. “Kiss me, and I'll show you what it's like.”

  Her heart launched itself into her throat and beat like a hummingbird’s wings. Oh God. She jerked her gaze to the windows lining the wall, focused on the bits of sunlight peeking through the mini blinds, and shook her head. Every inch of her trembled.

  “I’m not seducing you, Anna. You want to know. I’m willing to be your guinea pig.”

  God, she loved the way he said her name ….

  She looked back at him. “Why?”

  He lifted a hand, his thumb stroking her chin. His gaze followed for a moment before finally returning to hers. “Because I hate that you have the need. You should know what it feels like to be treated with kindness, with compassion, to know what it’s like for a man to kiss you because he can’t help himself.”

  The intensity in his words, in his burning gaze, shook her. She looked at her lap, afraid to know what else played in his eyes. “Do you?”

  He dropped his hand. “That’s a question I’m afraid to answer. I’m very aware right now I ride a line with you. If I tell you yes, that I think I’m attracted to you and I’d like very much to kiss you, will you bolt?”

  The meaning behind his words rang loud and clear. Anna’s heart sank into her toes. “Because you’re not sure your ego could take it.”

  He let out a quiet laugh. “Sweetheart, my ego’s taken bigger hits than you deciding you don’t want to kiss me. I don’t want you to get the impression I’m attempting to manipulate you.”

  “Are you? Attracted to me, I mean?” She couldn’t be sure if she wanted him to say yes, or if she’d be more relieved to hear him say no.

  His fingers stroked hers, where they rested on the bed between them. “I think you’re beautiful. You have the most incredible eyes, and I’m dying to see you smile. Just once. You’ve been here six weeks now, and I have yet to see you do it, outside of the polite smiles you give the customers at work. I’m willing to bet it lights up your whole face.”

  She jerked her gaze to the bed, before his sweet words made her wish for things she shouldn’t. Or doing things she shouldn’t. Like kissing him again. “That’s not the same thing.”

  “Isn’t it?”

  He beat around the bush, answering her question without really answering it, and the lack of response drove her mad. Something inside insisted she had to know. “Answer the question.”

  “All right. Yes. I am attracted to you. But the last thing I want is to prove I’m exactly like your ex-husband. Right now, what matters is making you a safe place in the world, and this,” he gestured with his hand, indicating the space between them, “is one of those places. I won’t ever push you for more than you’re willing to give. So, if you really want to know what it feels like to kiss a man who won’t hurt you, I’ll admit I’m a willing participant, whether I like it or not, but you’re going to have to kiss me.”

  She arched a brow. She was stalling, but he’d mentioned it and now she was curious. “Whether you like it or not? You don’t like being attracted to me?”

  Nic let out a quiet laugh.

  “It’s damned inconvenient, all things considered.” He darted a glance in the direction of the windows behind her then met her gaze again and leaned toward her, closing the gap between them to little more than an inch. “You talk too much. If you’re going to kiss me, you should do it soon, because Ella tends to get up at six on the dot.”

  Chapter Seven

  Nic’s hea
rt hammered his ribcage as he waited for Anna to make the next move. He ought to put a stop to this here and now. He shouldn’t want her. He most certainly shouldn’t allow himself to ponder kissing her, let alone acting on the urge. He’d only begun to earn her trust. They were here because her ex-husband had been cruel to her, had likely taken what he wanted from her against her will. Hell, maybe even in spite of it.

  Not to mention that technically, she was his tenant. His employee. Letting her kiss him would completely obliterate any semblance of boundaries between them.

  The problem was, Anna had caught him by surprise. He hadn’t slept beside a woman’s soft curves since Jen left. Three long damn years. Waking to Anna’s supple mouth hovering over his had given him one hell of an erection. Now he knew the softness of her lips, and he couldn’t deny he yearned to learn more. Like the flavor of her tongue, or what sounds she made when he kissed her breathless.

  It didn’t help that her chest rose and fell at a rapid pace, drawing his gaze to the swell of her breasts beneath her pajama top. Even in the dimly lit room, he couldn’t miss the way her gaze kept darting downward, as if she were staring at his mouth the way he couldn’t stop staring at hers. The need in her eyes had the air between them crackling with unspoken, delicious tension.

  When Anna ran her tongue along her lower lip, his heart skipped a full beat in anticipation. He might as well have been seventeen again, seated in the back of that old Ford, waiting to lose his virginity. Damn.

  Her gaze locked on his. She leaned in so slowly, he hadn’t realized she’d moved until her breath whispered across his lips. Instead of completing the connection, however, her eyes slammed shut.

  “Oh God. Kiss me. Please.” She whispered the words on a shaky, expelled breath.

  He swallowed a groan. She had him eating out of the palm of her hand, but he doubted she even knew it.

  “Uh-uh. You’re in control of this, sweetheart. You want me, come and get me.” If she decided to back out now, he’d probably expire right here from lack of oxygen to the brain.

  She opened her eyes, her gaze dancing over his face. Then she leaned in, pecked him quickly, and pulled back, releasing a pent-up breath. As if she’d crossed the finish line of a marathon. Or perhaps like she’d kissed a cobra and barely escaped with her life.

  He smiled. If he did anything else, he’d be sliding his hands into her hair and kissing her. “Was that so bad?”

  She shook her head and diverted her gaze, her hands trembling in her lap.

  He yearned to set her free. Really free. To know how she’d kiss when she stopped holding herself back. He needed to watch the smile his gut told him would light up her face when she realized she really was free.

  He leaned in again. Now he could only hope she’d understand why he pushed. “Now kiss me like you mean it.”

  Her gaze flicked to his. Uncertainty and confusion flashed in her big blue eyes. Then her throat bobbed as she swallowed. She closed her eyes again, and, to his complete surprise, leaned in. Her lips brushed his, so lightly his breath halted in his lungs. Damn, she was good at those soft kisses.

  As if the tether holding her back had been cut, she leaned in again, bolder this time, the pressure of her mouth more insistent. Her lips opened, tangling with his. When her tongue actually flicked out and slid along his lower lip, he lost control of what little willpower he had. He couldn’t stop a quiet groan from leaving him. Nor could he stop his hands from sliding into the hair at the back of her head. He tipped her face to the side and plunged in.

  He had to know. Beyond comprehension, he needed to taste the passion he sensed lay beneath her terrified exterior.

  She didn’t disappoint. A maddening little whimper slid out of her, and her hands caressed up his chest and around his shoulders. Her slender fingers dove into his hair and fisted there, as if to root herself. She arched her back, pushed her breasts into his chest, her nipples hard as diamonds, and kissed him back like she couldn’t get enough.

  Nic let out an agonized groan, braced his hands on her shoulders, and forced himself to pull back. If he didn’t, he didn’t think he could stop there.

  Anna sat back. She blinked once, twice, then her eyes widened, and she let out a quiet gasp.

  “Oh God.” She scrambled to the edge of the bed. “Oh, I can’t believe I did that. I don’t know what came over me. I’m so sorry.”

  Nic dragged a hand through his hair, forcing himself to follow her lead. He threw back the covers and set his feet on the floor. His blood roared in his ears, and the erection tenting the front of his pajamas protested the halt in activities. For a long moment, he couldn’t do much more than remember to drag in oxygen.

  She got halfway around the bed, her hands fluttering at her sides, before he managed to find his brain again. He caught her wrist, stopping her before she fled the room.

  “This is your room, Anna, I’ll go.” If he didn’t leave, he’d pull her back into his arms to discover how her soft body fit against him.

  She turned her head to look at him, eyes wide and flitting over his face. Right then, she reminded him of a terrified rabbit who’d been caught stealing a carrot and fully expected to be shot on sight. “I am sorry. I don’t normally do things like that. I didn’t mean to lead you on.”

  Damn it all to hell. The way she got to him would come back to haunt him one of these days.

  He released a heavy breath and faced her, took her hands in his and held them firm, for his sake more than hers. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I only stopped because we were headed places neither of us is ready to go right now.”

  She refused to look at him, dropping her chin to her chest. “I appreciate you telling me, but that sort of behavior really isn’t me.”

  “So why did you?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t know.”

  He ached to lift her chin, to force her to meet his gaze, so she’d see the sincerity in his. Instead, he kept his hands where they were. It had to be her choice. “Tell me the truth. Please.”

  She opened her mouth, but whatever she’d been about to say never had the chance to leave her tongue. Ella’s excited giggle echoed down the hallway. Two seconds later, she burst into the room and hurled herself against his legs, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing with all her might. She must have gone to his room to wake him up, found him gone, then heard him and Anna talking.

  The perfect distraction. Nic scooped up Ella, tickled her belly and leaned his forehead against hers. “Ha! I got up before you this time.”

  Ella giggled again.

  Anna refused to meet his gaze.

  His chest tightened. Tension became a living, breathing entity between them, and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

  Luckily for him, Lacey stopped in the doorway, a soft, worried frown on her face. “Mama had another bad dream?”

  Whatever uncertainty had played on Anna’s expression moments ago disappeared in the blink of an eye. She pulled her shoulders back, her expression arranging into one of careful impassiveness. He’d masked his emotions for Ella’s sake enough over the years to recognize the familiar change.

  Anna held out her arms to Lacey, who crossed the room and stepped into them. “I’m sorry if I scared you again.”

  Lacey lifted her head. “I don’t like the Daddy dreams. Is he coming to get us again, Mama?”

  Anna’s eyes widened then slowly filled with unshed tears. She hugged Lacey to her again, laying her head on top of the girl’s. “We’re safe, baby girl. Don’t you ever worry about that, okay? Daddy’s not a part of our lives. He can’t hurt us anymore.”

  As Nic left with Ella, moving toward the staircase, one thing became clear. His relationship with Anna had to remain where it stood.

  • • •

  “I think it would be best if I found somewhere else to stay.”

  Leaning back against the kitchen counter, Nic’s coffee cup paused halfway to his mouth. His gut churned, twisting into sickening knots. He watched
for a moment as Anna set the breakfast dishes into the sink. Her gaze on her task, she soaped up a sponge and pushed on the faucet. Despite her statement, she didn’t—wouldn’t?—look at him.

  Since leaving her room an hour ago, Anna had retreated into herself again. Nic had let her be, to give her time to deal with what happened between them in her own time. Clearly, he’d made her uncomfortable. “Are you leaving because I kissed you?”

  Her hands stilled in the running water. Long seconds ticked out in silence. “No. I’m leaving because I don’t think it’s wise for me to live here anymore.”

  He released a heavy breath, his shoulders slumping as the truth lodged home. “You don’t feel safe with me anymore.”

  He’d unraveled all the progress he’d achieved with her. He’d wanted to prove not all men would hurt her, but he’d only accomplished the exact opposite.

  Her eyes went wide, a mixture of worry and surprise in their depths as she jerked her gaze to his. “No. Not true.”

  He leaned his hip against the counter beside her. “Then care to tell me what happened? What is it I made you feel that makes you think you can’t stay here anymore?”

  Once again, she diverted her gaze to the sink. Her cheeks lit up like someone had set a fire beneath her.

  “I haven’t been safe with a man in a long time.” She sighed and blew out a breath, her stiff posture deflating. “I can’t remember the last time someone kissed me like that. Like … like maybe you were lost, too. I forgot myself, and I got lost in it. You’re a good kisser, Nic Rossi.”

  He bit back a grin as relief flooded through him. Anna Thompson seemed to have no idea the effect she had on men. At the restaurant, more and more customers, the majority of which were men, had started asking specifically to sit in her section. She was the oddest mixture of strength and shyness he’d ever seen in a woman. He suspected given the right circumstances, she’d blossom into one hell of a strong woman, and damned if he didn’t want to help her get there.

  He shoved his hands in his pockets, because if he didn’t, he’d be pulling her into his arms. “You’re right. You’re not the only one who got caught up in that kiss. If I’m being really honest, I haven’t kissed another woman since Jen left three years ago. Losing yourself in the moment happens to the best of us.”