A Love of Her Own

by Bettye Griffin

  “Neither do I. But I don’t know the answer, either. All I can tell you is that I’ll try very hard not to let it get to me.”

  *****

  Ava was about to call Linda when her phone began to ring. She answered it and broke out into a grin when Kendall’s voice greeted her. “Hey!”

  “What’s up? I’m calling to see if you’ll be able to check on the duplex this coming weekend. Michelle and her roommate are going to some bridal fair in Orlando, and we’re going to Atlanta. There’s going to be a big party at Spencer’s restaurant up there Saturday, and we decided to let the boys miss school Friday so we can get an early start. We’ll be back late Sunday night.”

  “Sure, I’ll do it. I’m coordinating a wedding Saturday afternoon, but I’ll stop by afterward.”

  “That’s perfect. Michelle’s leaving Saturday morning, so Saturday is what concerns us the most.” Kendall and Spencer continued to live in the duplex where they had been neighbors at the time they met, staying with Spencer’s sons in what had formerly been Kendall’s old apartment until their beach house was built, while Spencer’s niece Michelle and a roommate lived in Spencer’s old unit. “How’d it go with Hilton?”

  “Well, I met his son. He’s a sweet kid. And Marcus is staying here with me full-time now. I got permission from his family, of course.”

  “Well, that’s not surprising about Marcus. I’m happy for you, Ava. I think this is just as good for you as it is for him. Did you meet his mother?”

  “No.” Ava paused before deciding tell tell Kendall the truth. “Actually, his mother’s been in jail for three or four years, with a fifteen-year sentence for armed robbery and manslaughter. He barely remembers her himself. His grandparents are his guardians, and they gave permission for him to stay with me.”

  “Armed robbery and manslaughter? Wow. That boy really needs you, Ava.”

  “Like you said, we need each other. Kendall, let me ask you something.”

  “Sure.”

  “How do you handle it when Spencer sees his boys’ mother?”

  “It’s no big deal. You mean, am I concerned that she might still be in love with him?”

  “Sort of.”

  “Nah. They’ve been divorced for a long time, about ten years. She’s been remarried for about five, and of course now he’s married to me. It just isn’t a problem.”

  “Okay. But do you ever feel, well, resentful because they’ve got a bond that you and Spencer don’t have?”

  “Not at all.”

  Ava sighed. She and her friend were so different. Kendall had no desire for motherhood. Of course she wouldn’t feel left out when her husband spent time with his former wife and their sons. She didn’t even always go along when Spencer made business trips to Atlanta and brought the boys so they could see their mother and young half-sibling.

  Then again, it really wasn’t fair to compare Kendall’s situation to hers, or even Hilton’s situation to Spencer’s. Spencer and his first wife were both in happy second marriages, not just dating; and as far as Ava knew, Spencer’s ex-wife had never demonstrated the devious and deceitful behavior Janelle had toward Hilton.

  “Are you resenting the kid’s mother being here?” Kendall asked now.

  “I know I’m being jealous,” she admitted, “but I can’t help it. Bad enough she was staying at Hilton’s house, but on top of that I saw the three of them having a Kodak moment. It was hard as hell to see them out together, not once, but twice, once in the parking lot at Winn-Dixie and the second this morning at the breakfast buffet.”

  “What did Hilton have to say about it?”

  “He was very honest. Said he doesn’t know what to do. All he knows is that the problem will continue to exist because Max is still so young, and naturally he’s going to have to have contact with his ex for years yet.”

  “Max? Is that his son’s name?”

  “It’s Maxwell, but Max for short. Coincidence, huh?”

  “It sure is. And Hilton’s right, Ava. I know this much. You’re going to have to do something to control yourself. Jealousy can destroy relationships.”

  “I know. We’ll work it out. In the meantime I’m just glad she’s out of here. We had a nice afternoon, Hilton and the boys and me. We bowled two games and then went to dinner.”

  “Hilton spends a lot on eating out, doesn’t he?”

  Ava made a “hmm” sound. Kendall was right; he did. “He’s very generous. I hadn’t thought about it before, but I don’t know how he does it. He’s a retired cop, but his pension can’t be that good. And as far as I know his business is still slow.”

  “He’s working on plans for the house with Spencer, but those are only preliminary. He hasn’t even sent us a bill for consulting. I wouldn’t be concerned about it, Ava. Hilton is a sensible man. He knows he can’t run around spending like he’s a millionaire.”

  *****

  When she finished talking with Kendall, Ava thought of calling Vicky in North Carolina to ask how she dealt with her husband’s ex-wife, but realized the reaction would probably be the same, but for a different reason. Both Vicky and Danny shared custody of their respective children with their former spouses, making for a more balanced situation.

  Funny how situations involving divorce and remarriage had seemed so foreign to her as a child; back then Kendall was the only one she knew who had a stepfather and step-siblings. Now blended families had become commonplace.

  Ava sighed. The days of her, Vicky, and Kendall being carefree kids who lived similar lives had long past. Their domestic lives as adults were all different. Neither Vicky nor Kendall would understand how terribly left out she felt…but Linda would.

  She dialed Linda’s number, but no one answered. She’d try to reach her friend tomorrow. She needed to vent, but it could wait.

  *****

  But Linda called her first, the next morning. “It might be difficult for you to get hold of me. My dad had a stroke yesterday afternoon.”

  “Oh, no! How is he?”

  “Right now he’s resting comfortably. He seems to be stable, but it’s too soon to tell if there’re going to be any residual effects.”

  “I’ll say a prayer, for both him and your stepmother. This can’t be easy for her either.”

  “Joan’s very worried, but she’s managing to stay calm. I just hope…well, I know he was worried about Neil and I being separated. I probably shouldn’t have stayed here. This might not have happened if I’d moved into a hotel.”

  “Don’t even go there, Linda. One thing has nothing to do with the other. I’m sure your father would rather have you there with him at a time like this than somewhere else, all alone.”

  “I hope so. But I can’t help feeling guilty.”

  *****

  Hilton was a happy man as he roused Max from sleep that morning, then went down to the kitchen to put out his cereal. He slapped together a baloney-and-cheese sandwich, wrapped it up and put it in the lunch box he’d bought Max last week, along with a bag of chips and a can of pop he’d stashed in the freezer last night. It should be defrosted but still cold by the time Max was ready for lunch.

  Max was already registered in school—he and Janelle had taken care of that last week—but Hilton went inside with him, anyway, helping him locate his classroom. “I’ll be here at three o’clock to pick you and Marcus up. You don’t go with anybody else, no matter what they tell you. Get it?”

  “Got it.”

  “Good.” They had copied the exchange from an old movie Hilton had seen. They followed it with a high five, with Hilton bending to accommodate his son’s considerably shorter height.

  His first appointment that morning was installing a hand-held shower head and new kitchen and bathroom faucets for a client. Then he went to his apartment building to survey the move-out condition of a unit that had been vacated over the weekend, and after lunch he worked on the kitchen cabinets of a client who was rehabbing a cottage in the historic district.

  He took a b
reak at two-forty-five and was parked near the school ten minutes later. Because of school buses that lined the street immediately in front of the school for children who lived too far to walk, he got out and stood close enough so that Max could see him when he came out of the building.

  Hilton wasn’t surprised to see Marcus accompanying Max. “If it isn’t Dude and Sport coming to meet me,” Hilton greeted. “I’m a lucky fellow. How’d it go, Dude?” he asked Max.

  “It was all right. I don’t like being the new kid, but Marcus told everybody he’s my cousin, so at least nobody will mess with me.”

  “Your teacher looked like a nice lady.”

  “Miz Kelly. Yeah, she is.”

  “You have homework?”

  Marcus giggled. “You don’t get homework in first grade, Mr. Hilton.”

  “Oh. All right. What about you, Sport?”

  “I’ve got homework. But I always do it after dinner. since I help you after school.”

  “I want to help you, too, Daddy,” Max said.

  Hilton had expected this and had his answer ready. “One day you will, Max, but not yet. You’re still a little small. Just think of all the fun you’re going to have at the after-school center. Remember how nice you said it was last week? You’ll probably see a few kids from school there.”

  Max was mollified, and when they arrived he joined the other children without protest.

  *****

  At the end of the day Hilton first retrieved Max from daycare, then went to Beginnings to return Marcus to Ava’s care. He always looked forward to seeing her, and as Marcus chattered about how nice it had been to wake up in his room at her house and go to school from there it occurred to him that Ava had probably been just as excited at having Marcus with her as he was about Max. She was the best thing that happened to Marcus, giving him the love and now the security every child deserved. What a wonderful mother she would have made. No, that was wrong. What a wonderful mother she was, for she had assumed the role of foster parent.

  She seemed harried this afternoon, he thought as he watched her work behind the register. The boys were watching TV in the back. “That does it; I’m switching banks,” she muttered after hanging up the phone with more force than was necessary. “My bank has actually moved up the deadline for check deposits to eleven in the morning, for heaven’s sake,” she complained.

  “You mean if you deposit a check at eleven-fifteen they won’t credit your account until the next day?”

  “That’s right. And they’re open ‘til four. Highway robbery, if you ask me.”

  “I have to agree. How’re you doing otherwise?”

  “Just a hectic day. I’m working with a web designer to change the look of the Beginnings site, plus I’m coordinating a wedding on Saturday.”

  Hilton recalled something that he had meant to ask her about. “I didn’t know Linda was back in town. Is Neil here with her?”

  “No. She’s back because her father had a stroke.” Of course Linda had been in town before her father became ill, but Ava figured Hilton didn’t have to know that. She still felt the obligation to protect Linda’s privacy.

  “That’s too bad. Is he going to be all right?”

  “They don’t know yet. I hope so.”

  “How was your first full day with Marcus?”

  “Oh, it was wonderful. Hilton—I’m thinking about adopting him legally.” She studied his expression carefully. His opinion was important to her.

  For a few moments he said nothing; he appeared to be thinking. “I suppose that’s the logical next step after he moves in with you, but it didn’t take you long to go from Step B to C.”

  “I just started to think about it. It’s not like I’m going to rush out and get a lawyer tomorrow.”

  “It’s not easy being a single parent, Ava.”

  “Is that a proposal?” she asked innocently, batting her eyes playfully.

  Hilton pondered how she would react if she knew his thoughts were moving in precisely that direction. She’d been conspicuously silent when he told her he’d fallen in love with her, but he understood her basically cautious nature. Instead he said, “I’m serious, Ava. The guidance you and I have given Marcus might be enough to set him on the right path. Relationships between parents and their children often change in the teenage years. Right now Marcus is little and cute, but he’s already dabbled in a criminal lifestyle. By the time he’s thirteen he’ll probably be bigger than you and a little fearsome.”

  “So are you saying I shouldn’t consider adopting him because eventually he’s going to grow up?”

  “Of course not; that’s absurd. I just want you to think long and hard about it. It’s very difficult to raise kids.”

  “Oh, really? And how many kids have you raised?”

  He kept his voice even. “I’m just looking out for you, Ava.”

  “What you’re doing is treating me like a child. Or is it that you think that not being able to give birth to a child means I’m not qualified to bring up a child?”

  “Get that chip off your shoulder, Ava,” he snapped. “You and I both know one thing has nothing to do with the other. You take better care of Marcus than some birth mothers take care of their kids. I know that as well as you do.”

  She blew out a breath. Either she was being especially short-tempered and unreasonable these days or Hilton was being exceedingly difficult; she wasn’t sure which. The only thing she was sure of was that she felt unusually tired lately, to the point where she had to lie down after dinner each night to regain lost energy. She made a mental note to pick up some vitamins from the drugstore. “It’s been a long day, Hilton, and I have more work to do when I get home. I’m about ready to lock up now.”

  Hilton glared at her, exasperated. Why did she take everything he said in the wrong context? Hadn’t he just explained what he meant? Yet she was dismissing him, shutting him out again.

  He went to the back to get Max and say good-bye to Marcus. Both boys followed him into the salon. Hilton brushed his lips against Ava’s cheek and spoke in his most soothing voice. “I’ll give you a call later.” He turned to Max. “Say goodnight, Max.”

  Max turned to Marcus. “See ya tomorrow.” He proceeded to walk toward the door.

  “Max!”

  He turned around at the sound of his father’s sharp voice. “Yes, Daddy?”

  “You forgot to say good night to Miss Ava.”

  “Oh. G’night, Miss Ava.”

  “I’ll be seeing you, Max. Come on, Marcus, let’s lock up.”

  The incident disturbed Hilton. He had noticed the other day when they went bowling and then to dinner that Max seemed to shy away from Ava, only speaking when she spoke to him and then using one-word answers, reserving his usual effervescence and curiosity for himself or Marcus. What made it so bad was that Ava had gone out of her way to be nice to him. Hilton had chalked it up to his missing Janelle, but ignoring her like he had just now meant the situation would have to be addressed, because no way would he tolerate Max being rude to Ava.

  He waited until they were having dinner; roast chicken, mashed potatoes and vegetables from the supermarket deli. “Hey, Dude, I want to ask you something.”

  “What, Daddy?”

  “Do you like—” No, that sounded leading. He tried again. “What do you think of Ava?”

  “She’s nice,” Max replied without enthusiasm.

  “You don’t sound like you think she’s nice.”

  “She’s all right.”

  “I’m confused about something. The other day you told Mommy you thought I should have somebody like she has somebody. But now you seem like you’re, well, not as friendly toward Ava as you were when you first met her.”

  “It’s not that I don’t like Miss Ava. Honest, Daddy. But I really like Marcus. It’s like having a big brother.”

  Hilton, not wanting to press too hard, let the matter drop, silently acknowledging that the circumstances would warrant continued observation.


  Chapter 18

  “I need a favor, Maria. I’m doing a wedding Saturday afternoon.”

  “I can mind the shop for you.” Ava’s sister was her second backup and took over if Woody wasn’t available.

  “Well, actually, Woody offered to work Saturday. What I was going to ask is if you can watch Marcus for me.”

  “I suppose I can…”

  “But?” Ava prompted, sensing there was more.

  “But I would think he’d just stay at home that day, since you’re going to be busy.”

  “It’s not that simple anymore. Marcus has moved in with me.”

  “He has? When?”

  “Just since Saturday. Unfortunately, child care is something I didn’t give much thought to. He would normally come to work with me on Saturdays, and I can probably leave him with Hilton if I have a meeting with a client at night.”

  “So how long will he stay with you?”

  “I don’t know. His grandparents are still waiting to get a larger place.” Ava didn’t mention that the Hudson’s apartment would be located in the town’s senior citizen housing, which didn’t allow children. She already hated to think about what would happen to Marcus’s three cousins when that happened…

  “Have you told Mom about this?”

  “No, not yet. Don’t say anything; it needs to come from me.”

  “She was asking about you the other day. Said she never hears from you.”

  “What does she expect? So she can criticize me or sigh and say, ‘Oh, poor Ava?’”

  “You want to hear something funny?”

  “What?”

  “When I was over there with the kids the other day and she was asking about you I told her you were probably busy with work and spending time with Marcus. She had her usual reaction, and Colleen turned to her and asked, ‘Grandma, why do you always go,’ and then sighed dramatically and said, ‘Poor Ava?’”

  Ava laughed. “Out of the mouths of babes. I’ll bet that caught her off guard. What did she say?”

  Maria giggled as well. “She said what you’d expect. That she felt sorry for you because you don’t have children of your own and that you’re trying to mother someone else’s child instead.”