Remember Me Now (It's Kind Of Personal #4.5 or #5)

by Anna Brooks

  Pierce’s footsteps follow me, and he grabs my arm before I can leave. I turn and swing at him, but he ducks and steps back, holding his arms up. “Talk to me, man.”

  “Nothing to say.” I turn, and he grabs me again, but this time I reach for his shirt and grab it, slamming him into the counter. He’s not scared of me but gives an understanding nod. “Okay, I got it.” I push off him and stomp outside then slam my car door so hard I’m surprised the window doesn’t break.

  As soon as I walk in my door, my phone rings. I answer it because it’s Meara, and if I don’t, she’ll just keep calling. Plus, she might have an update about Lisa.

  “Hey,” I answer.

  “Hellooo. So you have to come over tonight. We’re having a housewarming party.” Her excitement makes me feel guilty because I’m about to turn the offer down.

  “Sorry, can’t. Have fun, though.”

  “Nik, don’t do this. Don’t shut yourself out because you feel guilty for something you had no control over.”

  Little does she know there’s so much more to it. “Sorry, babe.”

  “I will march over there and drag your ass over here if I don’t see you.”

  A defeated sigh passes through my lips and echoes through the earpiece because she laughs, knowing she got her way. “Awesome. See you by seven.”

  I waste time around my place doing stupid shit like tightening all the knobs on the drawers and cabinets until six thirty. A cold shower helps to wake me up, and I arrive at Meara and Liam’s new house at seven fifteen. Everyone gives me a wide but polite berth, and when Meara announces that she and Liam got married, I smile a genuine smile for the first time in way too long. She deserves to finally be happy after everything she went through.

  I catch her in the hallway on my way to the bathroom. “Happy for you, Meara.” I hug her and she wraps her arms around my neck, squeezing me tight.

  “Thank you, Nik. For everything. I know I don’t always tell you how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, but I do. You were there for me when nobody else was and … I just love you.” She sniffles, and I pull her back to look at her tear-filled eyes.

  “You’re crying?” I mock.

  She slaps my arm. “Shut up.”

  I kiss the top of her head then ruffle her hair. “Love you too, babe.”

  “I know you’re being hard on yourself right now—”

  I cut her off with a wave of my hand, but she grabs it and shakes her head. “No, stop. It wasn’t your fault, Nik. Stop blaming yourself and please try to smile again. I hate seeing you so upset.”

  “I’m good.”

  “You’re such a liar.”

  We head in opposite directions, but she calls my name. “Yes?”

  “I’m here for you too, ya know? If you ever need me.”

  I rap my knuckles on the wall and nod in acknowledgment.

  After I take a leak, I contemplate leaving, but I know Meara will be upset if I ditch so fast. After hanging out for about an hour outside around the fire, I’ve had enough. All I can think about is Lisa and I’d rather be alone to wallow in my misery. I head over to say bye to Meara who is sitting next to Pierce and the girl he brought with him, Ruby … she looks vaguely … familiar.

  “Hey, I’m gonna take off. Congratulations, Mrs. Meara Anders.”

  “Why thank you, Mr. Nik Nervetti.” She smiles and scrunches her nose.

  Ruby drops her plastic cup and beer splashes all over our feet.

  “Oh, my God. I’m so sorry.” She frantically stands and trips on Pierce’s legs, but he catches her.

  “Hey, you’re fine,” Pierce whispers.

  “No biggie. We all spill beer.” I attempt to laugh it off and make her feel better because she looks like she’s just seen a damn ghost.

  “Nik?” she asks.

  I nod, and she covers her mouth as wetness brims her eyes. “Nikolas Marco Nervetti?”

  My brows scrunch together in confusion. “Yes.”

  “Oh, my God,” she whispers, her lower lip trembling. “I have to get out of here. I’m so sorry.” She pushes past Pierce, but he takes off and is right behind her.

  Meara and I look at each other, and I wave as I go to follow Pierce out to the street where our cars are parked.

  “Uh, hey. What’s going on? Do I know you?”

  “No, you don’t,” she answers.

  I’m so confused; I look over at Pierce to try and figure out what’s up, but he looks as puzzled as I feel. I don’t have time for this shit tonight.

  “What the fuck is going on?” I raise my voice and step in her direction. “Who the hell are you?”

  “Nik, relax,” Pierce warns.

  She stands next to Pierce and looks at me with regret. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

  “Didn’t know what, woman?”

  “Only warning you’re gonna get, Nik. Talk to her like that again and—”

  “Stop.” She steps between us and leans her head back to catch my eyes. “I think you’re my brother.”

  Pierce gasps, and my jaw drops and I shake my head. “What the fuck are you talking about? My dad only had one kid.” I stab myself in the chest with my finger. “Me. And my mom’s a whore who abandoned us when I was an infant.”

  “You look just like him,” she mutters.

  “Like who?”

  “My dad.”

  “No, I look like my dad,” I argue.

  “Maybe I’m wrong.”

  “Yeah. You are.”

  Fuck this shit. I storm off and my tires squeal down the road as I speed away. I don’t have a sister. Chick’s crazy. Except my gut tells me something different. The evidence is hard to deny, especially when she looks identical to my so-called mother.

  When I get home, I skip the beer and go straight for the Jack. I don’t even know what’s going on inside my head right now. So much shit is spinning it’s making me dizzy. I’ve watched the minutes and hours tick by on the clock, and when there’s a knock on my door, I ignore it.

  A key turns my lock, and before he even enters, I know it’s Pierce.

  “I didn’t answer because I don’t want company.” My voice echoes in the bare apartment. Pierce leans against the wall and crosses his arms.

  “Where’s your side piece?”

  “Friend or not, Nik, I already warned you not to talk about her like that.”

  “Who the fuck is she, anyway? Oh wait, she’s my sister.” I take a long swallow directly out of the bottle and set it on the floor. “Fucked up thing is I believe her. I don’t even need proof because she looks like the one picture I have of my mom. Dad refused to talk about who my mom is, so I don’t even know if she’s alive.”

  “She is,” he answers.

  I sit up and tilt my head to the side; my hate for the woman who abandoned me takes a backseat to thinking I might be able to get an explanation as to why she left me. “You met her?”

  “Yep, this morning. Had no clue, man. This thing with Ruby’s still pretty new and—”

  “Who the fuck is this chick?”

  “It’s her.” It only takes a moment of recognition for it to sink in. This is the girl he met in Vegas all those years ago. She’s the one who’s had him so damn torn up. He didn’t get her name or anything, so he’s been pining for someone he didn’t even truly know. “No shit?”

  “No shit.”

  “How?”

  “She came here to find me. I didn’t even find out about her mom until recently ’cause, uhh …”

  He hesitates then grabs his phone out of his pocket.

  “Let me call Ruby. Maybe you can stick around to talk this time ’cause I’m about as clueless as you are. Ruby’s been through a lot, and I didn’t want to push her too hard to talk, so it’d probably be a good idea if we figured all this out together so she doesn’t have to explain everything twice.”

  I don’t want to be happy about this revelation, but I always wanted a family of my own. However, Dad owes me an explanation.
“Fine. But I need to talk to my dad first. Drive me?”

  Chapter 9

  Nik

  Another silent car ride and Pierce hesitates before exiting the car with me.

  “Come with. You wanna hear what he has to say just as much as I do.” Pierce follows me as I knock and then walk right in through the unlocked door. “Pops,” I shout through the house.

  “In the kitchen.”

  When we arrive in the kitchen, Dad’s sitting at the old wooden kitchen table reading the newspaper while a baseball game plays on the small black and white TV that’s propped up by old phone books.

  “Where’s my mom?” I get straight to the point; no sense wasting time trying to figure this shit out.

  Dad stills and folds the paper then sets it on the table. “Why do you ask?”

  “Because I met a girl tonight who says she’s my sister. And unless you can tell me that my mother is dead, I think I’m gonna have to believe her since she looks exactly like this.” I pull the picture out of my wallet and toss it in front of him.

  His face falls, his tough guy exterior crumpling right before my eyes.

  I sit and listen to my dad’s story. Listen to him tell me about how his brother was already married to my mom. How he and Violet, my mother, had an affair.

  So many things make sense now. How my dad would get an odd defensiveness to his tone when I asked about Mom. Or how I never got a straight answer with what happened to his relationship with his brother.

  But the biggest thing that I take from all of this is that I have a mom who didn’t abandon me, and a sister to look out for. Blood is blood. And no matter what has happened in the past, I’ll be there now.

  Dragging my feet, I go to meet Pierce outside while I’m still trying to process everything.

  “Hurry up, dude. Zack just answered Ruby’s phone. Apparently, she’s passed out at the pub.”

  My steps quicken and as soon as my ass is in the seat, Pierce takes off. I’ve loved being able to be there for Meara when she needed me, and I know how much Declan appreciates having someone to keep an eye on her aside from Pierce, but I love the fact that I have a sister of my own to protect and take care of now.

  “This is some fucked-up shit, man,” I say as I roll down my window to get some fresh air.

  “I know. I don’t even know what to say.”

  “Fuck. My mom’s alive, and better yet, she’s here. Right, man? She’s in town?” Something to look forward to makes me happy for the future when lately I’ve been nothing but pessimistic.

  He nods. “You doin’ okay?”

  Am I? I just found out some pretty heavy shit, and actually, I’m damn excited about it. I have a sister. And my mom didn’t abandon me. “Yeah, I guess. I’m actually relieved. It’s good to have something else to focus on right now, actually.”

  He stops at a red light and looks over at me. “You mean other than Lisa?”

  My head whips in his direction, and I point at his face. “Shut up.”

  Raising his arms in surrender, Pierce nods. “All right, man. I’m always here, though. I understand what—”

  “No. You don’t. You have no clue what it’s like to have someone who, for the first time in your fucking life, made you feel like you were more than just a friend of the family, or muscle to break up a fight, or the third wheel, or the protector when all the ‘real’ brothers or boyfriends were too busy off living their lives … to have her consume every fucking breath, every goddamn living second, for her to forget everything about you. Like you didn’t even exist. That what you shared meant nothing.” I clench my fists and look back out the window. “You have no clue what that feels like, and I hope to God you never do.”

  When we arrive at the pub, we both rush in but don’t see Ruby at the bar like Zack said. Pierce takes off outside and I follow close behind.

  “If you want to walk away, you had better let her go.” Pierce’s pissed-off voice hits me right before I turn the corner to find a guy all over Ruby. My sister. I take a look at the asshole and go to kill him, but Pierce, always the calm one, puts his arm up to stop me.

  “Fuck you, Nik. Just ’cause that bitch of a bartender wanted on my jock and you got jealous don’t mean I can’t come have a drink and find a pretty lady to bring home.” He runs a finger down Ruby’s cheek, and I take another step closer.

  “Yeah, but see, you have your hands on my girl.” Pierce nods toward me. “And his sister. So, like I said, if you want to walk out of here, I’d let her go if I were you.”

  Without a warning, he pushes Ruby toward us, and Pierce catches her as she stumbles into him. I glance at her to make sure she’s not seriously hurt before I take a couple of steps toward the guy who raises his hands. “I let the bitch go. Happy?”

  My fingers twitch a split second before I pound the bastard’s face then strike him once in the gut for good measure. Not sure my physical threat is enough, I grab him by his hair and slam him against the wall. “I will murder you, motherfucker. Do you hear me? I will put a bullet between your fucking eyes if you ever come back here again.”

  With a final shove, he wobbles away with a trail of blood following him.

  When I look over my shoulder and see a thankful expression on Ruby’s face, an understanding passes between us and I hope to relay to her how glad I am that she is in my life. I couldn’t ask for a better man for her to be with either; Pierce will take good care of her. But I’ll make sure to let her know she can count on me too. Always … that’s what family’s for.

  Chapter 10

  Lisa

  Steam rises from the cup of coffee my mom set in front of me, and I become infatuated with watching to see how high it will go before it disappears.

  “Lisa.” Mom grips my hand on top of the table. “You have to talk about it.”

  I ignore her and use my ring finger, my empty ring finger, to rim the top of the mug.

  “What can I do to help? It’s killing me seeing you like this again.”

  “I’m going to go for a walk.” I stand abruptly and knock over my coffee, the brown liquid dripping down the table onto the linoleum. My mom is trying to help, I get that, but I just want to be alone. I don’t need her feeling sorry for me or using that damn soft voice to try to get me to talk.

  How am I feeling? Like I’m dying, Mom. That’s what I want to say.

  When I woke up in the hospital bed and had no idea where I was or what had happened, I wanted Brad. I wanted my husband. Mom had to pull up his obituary online for me to believe her. My head was throbbing, but my heart broke. It shattered into thousands of tiny slivers that punctured me from the inside out. The doctor had to give me a sedative because I was so hysterical.

  Now I’m staying with my mom, which is another change I’m trying to adjust to. I moved away from home a long time ago, and I’m back here and I don’t know why. She says I have a job at a bar. Apparently the waiting room was full of people who were concerned about me. But the only person I want is dead.

  “Lisa, take your phone so you don’t get lost.”

  She runs down the front porch steps and hands me my phone, a slim one with a large screen. “I don’t know how to use this.” The last phone I had was a flip phone, or at least the last one I remember.

  “Here, just slide this to unlock it.” She shows me how to use the map and inputs her address so I can easily find my way back. “Be careful, honey. And call me if you want me to get you.”

  I begin to walk away but turn around and hug her. “Thanks, Mom.”

  “I wish there was more I could do for you.” She pulls back and tucks my hair behind my ears.

  “I’ll be back.”

  I have no clue where I’m going, but I walk. Then I run. My shoes hit the pavement and the pain of the slapping radiates up to my knees, but I keep pushing. In the distance, the unmistakable smell of the lake overpowers my sweaty body, and I slow to a walk and head in that direction.

  A man with his dog plays over to the left, so I head
to the right side and hop up on a large rock then lie down. My breath finally begins to slow, and I throw an arm over my eyes. Silent tears fall out of my eyes, and I roll to my side and curl into the fetal position, welcoming the uncomfortable pain from being on something so hard.

  If I close my eyes, I see Brad. His smiling face, his chin dimple, his welcoming embrace. So I open them and find something else to look at. A tennis ball rolls in front of me on the sand and a dog appears seconds after. It looks at me and barks then wags its tail.

  “Hey, buddy,” I whisper. I stick my hand out and a slobbery tongue licks my palm.

  “Max, get over here.”

  Max ignores his owner and jumps up on the rock with his front paws, and I swear the thing smiles at me.

  “Max, get down.” His owner appears and grabs the dog’s collar to pull him off. “Sorry about that.”

  “It’s okay.” I sit up and continue to pet the dog’s head. His happy fuzzy face makes me feel a little less miserable.

  “Are you okay?”

  I look up at the guy and his kind eyes find my watery ones. “Yeah. Thanks.”

  “You sure?”

  I sit up straighter and wipe under my eyes.

  “She said she’s good, bro.” Another man’s voice comes from my left and I turn to find the source. A menacing figure with dark hair, slight stubble, and a super-sharp jaw. He’s wearing a white undershirt and a pair of black jogging shorts, so I can see his taut muscles. Even the ones in his calves pop as he stalks toward me.

  “You know him?” the man with the dog asks me, even though he’s unconsciously stepping back from him.

  I begin to shake my head, but the other guy answers for me. “I know Lisa.”

  At the sound of my name coming from his lips, I study him further. Who is he? I feel like I should be afraid of him, but a softness in his eyes when he looks at me makes me feel … calm, almost.

  “Oh, yeah. Well, take care.” The man throws the ball for his dog, and they both take off in the opposite direction.