Love Is Forever Blue

by Donalyn Maurer

  “Maxwell!”

  I slowly turn around and I see the prettiest petite Asian woman smiling back at Max with huge dimples. His mom.

  “Oh, my God, Maxwell,” she gushes as she hugs him and then turns to me; her smile vanishing. “This is Jaycee?” She’s staring at me and pointing but obviously talking to Max.

  I look at Max who walks to my side and puts his arm around my shoulder and smiles at me which finally has me relaxing a little bit. I smile back but when I look back to her she’s still staring me down. Shit!

  “Hi, ummm, Mrs. Bradshaw. It’s nice to meet you,” I say and she stands up straight and I finally notice she’s wearing camouflage pants with a black sweater and wedges with at least a three-inch heel. She’s stunning. She has long, almost black hair, falls down to the middle of her back, dark brown eyes and the same olive skin as Max. She’s wearing a lot of gold jewelry. I’m not sure about this fashion working for everyone, but it’s sure working for her.

  She walks up and cups my cheek and finally speaks. “I’m sorry for what happened to you. He’s dead?” I nod. “Good. Forgive him and let God deal with him.” She steps closer to me. “I was briefly married before their dad. He wasn't a kind man; he cheated and he hurt me. One night, I’d had enough, I found my courage, the strength that he tried so hard to steal from me. I knocked him on the head with a piece of wood and when he dropped, I grabbed my things and ran home to my parents.”

  Her admission shocks me, but I'm grateful for her acceptance and for her sharing her story so bravely. She starts pulling me to the house. “Next thing I heard, he was dead.” I almost fall down when she says that. “My home was just like here, years ago police didn’t get involved in domestic fights. Thank God it’s not like that anymore. Men can’t hit their wives and kids and then pay off the police with a bottle of whiskey, money or claiming they’re protected through their religion. But even so, then and now? You still need to learn how to take care of yourself. I did and so did you when you had to.” She smiles and turns back to the door and opens it. Max takes it from her and holds it for us to walk in. I freeze when I walk in the house. It’s like walking into the orient.

  Max speaks up. “She decorated like they do in the Philippines. Lots of reds and dark woods.”

  I look up to him. “It’s beautiful, Max.” I turn to his mom and she’s smiling at him. “You have a beautiful home, Mrs. Bradshaw,” I tell her, still looking around.

  She walks around the counter to the fridge and starts pulling food out. “Thank you, Jaycee. Now, are you hungry?” She asks as she grabs pots from the cupboards. “Because I’m going to cook. So, sit. We’re going to eat.”

  Max and I sit on stools at the breakfast counter watching his mom cook. He wasn’t exaggerating. She has a pan on every burner and something warming in the microwave. He’s smiling with dimples on full display and all of a sudden I’m feeling shy. I start to look away when Max’s mom calls out loudly.

  “HONEY!” she yells. I almost fall off my stool in surprise and Max starts cracking up.

  “Ay Naku. Jaycee! Sorry,” she says and she starts giggling. “Ihinto ang tumatawa o kukunin ko na pop mo sa ulo,” she says and turns back to the stove still giggling.

  I raise my eyebrows at Max in bewilderment. “She just told me to stop laughing or she’s going to beat me,” he tells me.

  His mom whips back around with the spatula in her hand and points it at him.

  “Ay Naku, Maxwell” she says scolding him.

  Max sits up straight and tells his mom, “Okay. Okay, Mom.”

  The back door opens and in walks a slightly younger version of Max only much more rough looking. Scary but handsome. He’s just as tall and his frame is only slightly leaner. He’s wearing a uniform and it takes me a second to see the emblem on his shirt. He’s S.W.A.T. Holy heck! He’s wearing black, tactile-looking clothing, combat boots and he’s sporting a holster with a gun. His hair is much longer than Max’s and he has a goatee.

  He walks up to Max’s mom and leans down and gives her a kiss on the head.

  “Hey, Mom. Whatcha cooking?” he asks.

  He looks over at me and winks and Max stands to meet him halfway when he starts toward us.

  “Hey, brother!” Max says and gives him a man hug.

  “Hey, Blue. You look good, brother,” he tells Max and then looks back at me.

  His eyes travel up and down me and I feel myself blush.

  “Really, Johnny?” Max shakes his head and walks over to me, draping his arm around my shoulder.

  “Jaycee, this is my little brother, Johnny,” Max says.

  Before I can say anything, Johnny walks over to me and takes my hand and leans into me. “Hi, Jaycee. It’s nice to finally meet you after all these years.

  Johnny takes a seat at the table and continues to speak.

  “You have no idea what you’ve put me through,” Johnny says as he leans back in the chair. “My brother here,” he flips his thumb over at Max while keeping his eyes to me. “Used to walk around the house singing tragic, soul wrenching sad love songs because of you. It was not only pathetic but he sounded like a dying cat. It was awful.” He looks at Max and shakes his head. “Have you played her any of the songs you wrote for her?”

  I feel Max tense beside me.

  “Johnny, really? You can shut up now.” Max laughs nervously.

  “Oh, I could. But why would I?” Johnny says.

  I can see his bright smile shining through his goatee; he's got dimples too, though not as deep as Max’s.

  “He had this one song, ‘Why’ and that’s all he said the entire song, why, why, why, why,” Johnny says in a singsong voice dragging out the last why. “He’d walk around strumming his guitar between two or three chords singing ‘why’ over and over.”

  Now I’m totally into this story. Max is turning red, but chuckling as his brother continues giving him the gears.

  “After about the third day of him moping around singing his chart topping love song, ‘Why,’ my dad walked into his room and grabbed the guitar out of his hands and handed him a baseball bat. Told him to hit the batting cages. Took his guitar and locked it up in the gun safe,” Johnny tells me.

  I’m trying not to laugh but it’s impossible. I can feel Max laughing next to me; his mom is doubled over laughing as she’s trying to put the food from the pans onto plates.

  “One more day of singing and that guitar was going to become kindling,” a deep, husky voice says.

  Turning towards the voice, a man is leaning in the doorway, regarding the scene with obvious amusement. I know immediately it's Max's dad and pause to take in his long blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail and full beard. He seems to be just a little taller than Max and Johnny; muscular but leaner. He’s wearing reading glasses perched on his nose and his blue eyes are looking at all of us over the rims. He’s dressed almost the same as their mom, with camouflage pants only he’s wearing a black t-shirt with his. Silver rings cover almost every finger and leather bracelets wind around each wrist accompanied by tattoos running up both arms.

  Johnny and Max have dark hair and eyes like their mom and they also have her dimples. If I would never have seen this man, I’d think they were the spitting image of their mom but now that I see him, I see they look like their dad.

  “Hey, Jaycee. I’m Acer,” he says and walks over to me. “These two,” and he gestures between Max and Johnny, “belong to me and their mother, Ana.” I watch him glance over at that stove where their mom is still loading food onto plates. “I apologize. We truly did our best and yet they still came out the way they did.” He grins and winks at me.

  I start laughing along with Max and Johnny.

  He straightens his features back to serious and looks at Max and Johnny, shaking his head before he walks over to their mom and looks at all the food. “Jesus, Ana. Did you cook everything in the icebox?” he asks in humor. He carries some plates over to the big dining room table and sets them down. “Get your lady some
thing to drink, Blue. Johnny help your mom while I get something for us and grab the soy sauce and kimchi from the fridge,” he says and starts setting the plates out.

  We sit for the next hour talking about their garden, guns, the Philippines, my family and their family. I find out Max was born in Philippines and didn’t really speak English the first few years of his life because he was mostly around his aunts and mom and they spoke in Tagalog. Now, like Johnny, they speak both. Max explains a little about what’s been happening with me and the news of Dr. Jennings. Johnny chimes in, saying he’s been hearing about everything through the grapevine at work and that it looks like it’s going to become a huge local scandal.

  After we say our goodbyes, we walk down a path behind their property to a building.

  “We’ll go in and I’ll pack a few things, then I’ll go back and grab the car and pull it around to load. Right now, I’ll just show you around.” As we start down the path, Max points out a garden. It has tomatoes, onions, peppers, carrots and herbs. I see a small area with rose bushes of different colors. “My dad, he loves to garden. He loves the outdoors. I know he left his small hometown to see the world but wherever we’ve been, he’s always had a garden, like home. My mom, in the Philippines, she grew up on a farm also, coconuts and rice. Back at my grandparents, when my dad was away on deployments we stayed with them and it was pretty awesome. Rice grows in lowlands and coconut trees everywhere. The beach, Cebu, where she was born and raised, the water is crystal blue. It’s so clear you can see to the bottom. Nothing like the beaches around here.” As he talks, I can see him travel back in his mind. “One day I’ll take you.” He looks down at me smiling. “You can meet my family there and then I’ll take you to meet my dad’s family.” I smile back up at him.

  “I’d really like that, Max. I look forward to it,” I say. He leans down and gives me a slow kiss. It’s a kiss full of promise and I give back to him in my kiss with just as many promises.

  We finally make it to a duplex towards the back of the property. It’s fairly large and in the same red brick as the main house. He pulls keys from his pocket and unlocks the door and moves aside so I can walk in first. I’m hit with the same decorating theme. Lots of reds and dark wood. It’s beautiful. He grabs me by the hand and starts pulling me deeper into the house.

  “My parents built this a few years ago for guests. My mom and dad like their privacy but they also like having guests. When my dad’s family visits they stay a week or two but when my mom’s side comes for a visit, they can stay up to a few months,” he explains. I think back to Bradley coming home for visits while my uncle Duke and Aunt Savannah were stationed overseas and he stayed for months at a time. It was the best of times having a house full. Max stops and opens another door and waits for me to walk inside. His bedroom. His guitar is off in the corner and I think back to Johnny and his teasing and I start laughing. Max groans as he walks over and sits on the edge of the bed with his head down.

  “I’m never going to live that down, am I?” I giggle as I stand in front of him. “Max, I’m honored. But why, oh why, did you write and sing a song called why, and why about me, Max, why?” I ask and throw my head back in laughter when his face turns red, and his dimples pop out. He pulls me forward by my hips and I put my hands on his shoulders.

  “Well, Jesse and I played football and soccer together and you use to come with Jake to watch him play.” He saw me? Jake had already graduated but would still go and watch Jesse play and I would beg to tag along. I remember going but what he doesn’t know, I only came for one reason—him. I'd watch him and afterwards he would usually walk over with Jesse and say hello to Jake not even sparing me a glance.

  “If you’re thinking I didn’t see you, oh, I saw you. I always saw you,” he shares. “After one practice, I’d had enough of waiting and I went to Jesse in the locker room. I asked if it would be okay to call you but Jake walked in. He overheard and nixed the whole idea.” He sighs and rests his head on my stomach. I raise my hand and start rubbing my fingers through his hair. “I want to say he was wrong but he wasn’t. He was right, about everything.” He looks back up at me. “You were a freshman and no matter what happened or didn’t happen between us, I was graduating and you would still be there three more years without me. When Jake pointed out that wasn’t fair to you, it fucking broke me but I knew he was right. You were going to have parties and proms and then that fuckwad, Harry asked you out,” he says his voice laced with anger.

  I pull gently at Max’s hair so he looks in my eyes. “Max, Harry was a concession prize and not much of one. The boy I dreamed of was you. But I thought you were so out of the realm of possibility I just moved on and went with what I thought was the next best thing.”

  He gives me a sad smile. “I know, Jaycee. I did the same thing.” He pulls my left leg forward behind my knee to kneel beside him on the bed and then the other so I’m straddling him; his hands holding me to him. “When Jake laid it out for me all I could think was, why? Why did we have to be so far apart in age, so many why’s,” he says. I felt the same so I don’t even smile as he raises his lips up to mine. “Fuck, love, I waited a long time for you.”

  I hold his head to mine as his hands slide up my back and into my hair and he grasps the strands. Holy heck. I love when he does that and I show him by grinding down on him and moaning. He opens his mouth even wider, trying to devour me and I let him. Next thing I know, his hands are out of my hair and under my shirt. I bring my hands down between us and try to unbutton his shirt but when I can’t get to the buttons, I let out a frustrated groan. His hands come back to my hips as he stands and lowers my feet to the ground. I don’t waste any time. I yank open his shirt and buttons go flying as I slam my mouth back down on his. I don’t bother taking his shirt off. I run my nails down his chest to the waist of jeans and start undoing his belt as he’s reaching down doing the same.

  I get to him first and reach in to feel him. He’s so thick and hard and the second his heat hits my hand I feel my body respond. My body knows and wants him. He pulls my hand away and turns to walk me backwards to the bed. He pushes me down and starts pulling off my shoes and then my jeans. When he has me down to my underwear, he pulls off his boots one by one and then comes down on top of me. I raise my legs and wrap them around his waist as he lifts us and scoots us all the way back to the pillows. I keep my legs tight around him as he pushes my hair from my face. I watch him as his eyes search my face and finally look at me in my eyes.

  “Fuck, Jaycee, I can’t believe you’re actually here,” he whispers and I give a small smile.

  “Max. I love you. I’ve waited forever for you.” He slowly leans down and starts kissing me again.

  “Love, I need to marry you soon. I need to put my babies in you.” he whispers in my ear. My eyes begin to water with happy tears. “I want our lives to finally start.” He trails kisses down my neck. I keep my hands to his head and turn mine to give him better access. He stops at my shoulder where there’s still an angry red welt from the bullet and kisses it. “So sorry I didn’t get to you before he did that.” He stops and leans his head down. “I am so fucking sorry.”

  I put my hand under his chin and raise his head so he’ll look at me. “Max, you saved my life. The very breath from your lungs breathed life back into me. I’m only alive because of you.” I say and pull him back to me. “Max, I need you inside of me.” I lift my body up into his. “It hurts when you’re not close. I feel empty and alone. Please,” I whisper.

  “I know, Jaycee. I hurt too,” he says against my lips. His hand travels up to my lace covered breast and pulls the cup down and lowers his head to lick and suck on first one breast then the other.

  “Max, please,” I plead as he reaches behind me and undoes the clasp of my bra and yanks it down my arms, throwing it off to the side as I try pushing his shirt off his shoulders. His hand slips in my panties and his fingers find me.

  “Max. God, please, now!” Before I realize what’s happening, h
e leans up and uses both his hands to rips my panties off and pushes his jeans down.

  “You’re so hot, wet and ready. Legs up, now, love,” he commands. I raise them up as he centers himself and pushes in on a long, strong thrust until he bottoms out. I look up at him and he’s still wearing his shirt but it's hanging open. His jeans are lowered only enough to release himself. His strokes are hard, strong and slow with each movement. Every time he bottoms out, we groan. I grab at his shoulders, but he takes my hands and places them in his palms and then slides them up behind my head with our fingers laced together. His body has mine pinned and it feels wonderful. He brings his mouth back to mine and kisses me, our tongues tasting and then he travels down my neck and then back to my lips. I struggle against his hands only to feel his fingers tighten on mine.

  He leans down and whispers in my ear, “Let me take care of you. Just feel me, Jaycee.” He’s rubbing his pelvic bone against me causing a delicious friction that has me raising up to get more. He tilts my hips to where I can feel him better and now instead of rubbing up and down, he grinds and I’m about to lose my mind. Our bodies, they’re sweaty and close. The parts not clothed are gliding easily against each other. A few thrusts later my body feels and catches it as my world crashes into bliss. I see stars and I know I’m calling his name because he whispers in my ear, “I got you, Jaycee. Fuck, I got you. Let go.”

  A few seconds later he powers into me and finds his release. His groan is just as long and loud as mine. We lay there for a long time until he finally releases my hands. I run them under his damp shirt along his wet back and around to his chest. I wrap my hands around his neck and let my fingers slide into his damp hair. I can feel him kissing and licking my neck as his hand slides down my side, my ribs, over my hip bone and then down my leg where he pulls it up higher behind my knee and gives a couple more thrusts.

  “Shit, Jaycee. I’m getting hard again,” he moans.

  I lift my hips up to him and start thrusting back and we both moan.