The Secret Diaries Of Miss Anne Lister

by Helena Whitbread

  Thursday 9 December [Halifax]

  Before breakfast & afterwards, from 11 to 1, making minutes & extracts from Hall’s Travels in France (it must go to the library today)… He is an arrant republican in politics & would, perhaps, style himself a philosopher in religion. Consequently, his sentiments & mine on these subjects, who [as] a limited monarchist & a Protestant Christian according to the established Church of England, are opposite almost as the poles. However, there is some information useful to a tourist.

  Friday 10 December [Halifax]

  Met Miss Browne… Said nothing particular. Very kind but quite commonplace, at least as far as my manners can be so. I wonder [if] she perceived any difference or whether she felt as much interested as ever? I am sure I did not. It seemed very flat & now that all nonsense & one sort of sentiment is forever at an end, my interest is gone. I care not twopence whether I see her or not & in truth, would rather not & only keep up the intercourse for appearance’s sake. It will be deadly stupid but I must carry the thing on till she goes & I shall not be sorry to get out of the way a little after Christmas.

  Monday 13 December [Halifax]

  Notes (to my aunt & myself) from E. Saltmarshe to ask us to the ball & sandwiches on Tuesday, 21st inst… In the afternoon… called at Northgate… my Aunt Lister told me the soldiers had [been] alarmed on Thursday by the sound of a bugle in the middle of the night & that they had, in consequence, been under arms the rest of the night that, in expectation of a rising of the radicals, they had never gone to bed at all on Saturday night. Thomas heard all this from the soldiers themselves… Called at Whitley’s &, change being so scarce there is hardly a sixpence to be had, left him a pound note, on my uncle’s receipt, in payment of 15/6.

  Wednesday 15 December [Halifax]

  Lighted my fire this morning for the 1st time since last winter. ’Tis high time to begin to get up a little sooner & I hope to go on improving from this morning… Another of those letters with a red wafer half out & the Halifax postmark. Just looked at it when Betty18 brought it upstairs & bade her send it back again. She has brought it back saying it is directed to Mr Lister, my uncle, therefore sent it down to him… On going downstairs after dinner found the letter was signed, William Townsend, King Cross Lane, who had had the impudence to write to my uncle restating his impertinence & saying he had written often to me but could get no answer. My uncle read it all but I would not let him or my aunt tell me the contents. Put a wafer into it & gave it back to the postman. My uncle proposed redirecting the letter & sending it to the writer that he might have to pay the postage. To this, however, I of course objected. I was hot & said what I would do with my umbrella if I met him. My uncle laughed & said, ‘You had better take the pistol & tell [him] you will blow his brains out if he plagues you any more.’ ‘I would,’ said I, ‘if I could do it without being known, but it would be all over the town directly & that would never do.’ Is it not want of judgement in my uncle to think of sending him [his] letter back? Would not this be stooping? He thinks him a madman. He must be insane, surely he must, to have the impudence to write to my uncle also.

  During the last few months Anne had been hard at work on a descriptive work about her visit to France. The Duffins had requested it and she had written exhaustively about the sights she had seen whilst touring the city.

  Wednesday 22 December [Halifax]

  Looking over the last 30pp. of the letter to Mr & Mrs Duffin & wrote a note to Mr Duffin giving the dimensions of the Louvre gallery, account of the Diana, etc… so that, after all, this letter of 96pp. was to have been sent off at 1, but I was hurried & did not get it dispatched till ½ past. I am heartily glad it is finished & gone. It has been a sad, tedious concern but I hope I have learnt something during the time spent in writing it. At least I have gained a valuable turn towards a habit of patient reference & correction which, should I ever publish, may be of use to me.

  Thursday 30 December [Halifax]

  Miss Browne met me at the gate… No conversation interesting to me. Talked chiefly about Mr Kelly & her anxiety to see him. She had often thought of my telling her he had been gay.19 She had nothing to do with what he had been. Should make allowances, etc. Descanted on the weakness of our nature & that we should all be liberal… Bid her, in no case, raise her expectations too high. As I returned over the bridge, could not help reflecting for a moment how little I thought or now cared about Miss Browne. This girl who not long ago was so much in my mind, after she goes to Glasgow I shall never care to behold her again. She says she shall always remember me. Well, it may be so, but it is more than I shall do towards her.

  Friday 31 December [Halifax]

  Looking over the Annals of Philosophy for November last. Population of Moscow – effect of bathing in the Dead Sea – M. Bouillon Lagrange’s recommendation of carrot juice or rather carrot poultice as a remedy for cancer… In the afternoon… to the Saltmarshes’. Staid rather above an hour & got home at 5.10. Better satisfied with my visit than usual. Thought them glad enough to see me & I said nothing I wished unsaid. From Emma’s account their ball must have been a riotous concern. The Greenwoods & Miss Mary Haigue danced riotously & Tom Rawson took Mrs Prescott & danced her on his knee before them all, having before as publicly tickled her daughter, Elizabeth, on the soffa [sic]. She & Miss Mary Haigue afterwards went into another room. Tom kissed them both. Emma was obliged to leave them & Mr Saltmarshe & Mrs Walker of Crow Nest unluckily went in together & caught them. He had his arm round Mary Haigue’s neck, but she looked nothing abashed. Mrs Christopher Rawson took Miss Astley with her, the Unitarian Minister’s sister. Tom said, ‘It is a long time since I have had a kiss of you.’ Mr Christopher gave her one, said the ladies will think it rude if it does not go round, & tho’ he had never seen Miss Astley before, put his arm round her neck & kissed her also… A good deal of snow fell last night & the morning was snowy till after 10.

  1820

  Tuesday 4 January [Halifax]

  Gave the librarian five shillings as I said, last September, I would do every half-year on condition of his managing to let me have as many books at a time as I wanted. Not, however, that I think of exceeding the regulated allowance by more than two.

  Wednesday 5 January [Halifax]

  A man civilly asked if it was going to thaugh [sic] as I came up the new bank. Whether it was the same or not, I am uncertain, but a man in a greatcoat made like a soldier’s followed me down our lane & asked if I wanted a sweetheart. He was a few yards behind & I said, ‘If you do not go about your business, sir, I’ll send one that will help you.’ I heard him say, ‘I should like to kiss you.’ It annoyed me only for a moment, for I felt, on coming upstairs, as if I could have knocked him down. But I ought not to have spoken, nor should, but being so near home I was at unawares provoked to it.

  Monday 10 January [Halifax]

  Another of those letters. The direction apparently in a better hand than usual & directed for the first time, Miss Anne Lister. However, I scarce looked at it but sent it back unopened. That people should be so impertinent annoys me yet, perhaps, a little at the moment, but it is soon over & I think the writers will tire, by & by.

  Tuesday 11 January [Halifax]

  My usual way to King Cross & back & got home at 5½. About midway between the two sets of cottages in the new bank as I returned, a man, youngish & well enough dressed, suddenly attempted to put his hands up my things behind. In the scuffle, I let the umbrella fall but instantly picked it up & was aiming a blow when the fellow ran off as fast as he could & very fast it was. I did not feel in the least frightened, but indignant & enraged. Knew not till the moment afterwards that I at first said, ‘Holo’ & then immediately, ‘God damn you, but I’ll –’ but he was soon out of sight down the hill & I walked quietly home. Told them during tea. My uncle & aunt think it is the man who writes these letters. At any rate, I think not William Townsend.

  Sunday 16 January [Halifax]

  Walked from church with the Stansfield Rawsons
& went in for a few minutes to tie up my garters. Then past Bull Close & up Callista Lane to King Cross. As I returned, met two young women & two boys. Walked by their side, one of whom said, just before they came up with me. ‘That’s her that lives at Shibden Hall & advertised in the paper for a sweetheart.’ It immediately occurred to me that somebody must have had some advertisement of this kind inserted in the Leeds Mercury… Had a longish talk as soon as I went home about the advertisement. They were for having me make inquiries & get to see it & have the editor contradict it… Stood talking to my aunt by the kitchen fire, after my uncle went to bed, ¾ hour, about the people calling after me, being like a man & about people’s being insulted.

  Monday 31 January [Halifax]

  Another queer Halifax letter. Thought of nothing but its being from William Townsend. Resolved therefore to go immediately to consult Mr Horton.1 My uncle very hot & indignant & was for sending somebody to ask if he wrote the letter & if he owned it, to stop it into his mouth. I was vexed & enraged but said little or nothing & got off to Halifax at eleven & a half. Stopped Mr Horton near Edwards, the booksellers, & we walked together to the Sessions House near the theatre. He could do nothing without the letter. Could be construed into a breach of the peace. He opened & read it (I did neither). Not from William Townsend but some man saying he was a native of Bolton &, I think, named Lomas (to be directed to at the White Horse public house, as my uncle told me on his reading it when I got home). Of course, I could do nothing. At least Mr Horton advised my taking no notice &, in the case of Townsend, I must not take the law into my own hands by any violent measure. The only thing to be done was to desire him to desist, which would be best done by an attorney. And, in case the man did not, it would be a misdemeanor [sic] & Mr Horton would summons, issue a warrant against him &, unless he found bail, send him to the House of Correction at Wakefield, binding over my uncle or myself to prosecute him at the Sessions. He said there had been no advertisement respecting me in the Leeds Mercury. He was very civil & I went away satisfied at having consulted him & almost resolved to let them write on in future till they were tired.

  The affair of the mysterious letters faded into the background as Anne became caught up once more in York society. On 1 February, M— arrived at Shibden Hall to spend the night there, before going on to York accompanied by Anne. They did not return to Halifax until 30 March. They were joined by Isabella Norcliffe for part of the time during their stay in York.

  Tuesday 1 February [Halifax]

  About 4 M— arrived having left her nephew, William Milne, & her servants at the White Lion… Looking better than I expected & in good spirits. We are to sleep tomorrow night at the Chaloner’s at Newton Kyme, near Tadcaster.

  Wednesday 2 February [Newton Kyme nr Tadcaster]

  M— & I off from Shibden at 10. Walked to the White Lion. The carriage ready & after taking us thro’ the town & Haley Hill (Watson & William Milne had walked on before) we walked a couple of miles up the hill & took them up 3 miles from Bradford. Stopt there at the Sun (on account of the horses) ½ hour. Got to Leeds (the White Horse, Boar Lane) about 3½. While the coachman looked after his horses & ordered about leaving them there, M— & William & I went to the mus. room in Albion St to see the newly invented carriage impelled by the feet of the person going in it. Very simple mechanism – like a small gig on 3 wheels. Price of that, £35. One to carry 2 people, £45. Off from Leeds with 4 posters in less than ¾ hour & got out at the Chaloner’s… a few minutes before 6, the hour at which M— had fixed to be there for dinner.

  Thursday 3 February [York]

  Down to breakfast at 10½ & off to York at 12½. A pair of posters brought us in 1½ hours (12 miles) & I got out here at the Duffins’ in Micklegate at 2. Mr Duffin came in about 3½ from the procession in honour of the proclamation of George the 4th which began at 1.2 Mr Duffin thought there might be a concourse of about 5,000 people. The Duffins & Miss Marsh really seem glad to see me.

  Wednesday 9 February [York]

  M— & Eli & I stayed at home… Just before Harriet [Milne, née Belcombe] went, happening to talk a little to her in the complimentary style, M— & Eli remonstrated. M— & I talked about an hour after we got into bed. A very little would make M— desperately jealous. Speaking of my manners, she owned they were not masculine but such was my form, voice & style of conversation, such a peculiar flattery & attention did I shew, that if this sort of thing was not carried off by my talents & cleverness, I should be disgusting. I took all in good part. Vowed over & over, constantly, etc., & M— gave me a good kiss.

  Tuesday 15 February [York]

  At 9, M— & Anne & Eli & I went to the Macleans in Coney Street. A rout party, but a quadrille or 2 danced to the piano, & a nice supper. Lost a rubber of 4 shilling points… A pleasant evening & got home at 12½.

  Thursday 17 February [York]

  In the evening… would not have the girls in our room & had a comfortable, cosy conversation. M— loves me. Certainly her heart is wholly mine. If I could have allowed her twenty or thirty pounds a year in addition to what she had, she certainly would not have married. But what could she do on her allowance of only thirty pounds a year? Passed an affectionate hour or two.

  Wednesday 1 March [York]

  A little before 7, walked to the Belcombes’ to dress & go from thence to the Officers’ Ball at the Assembly Rooms. Went in with Dr Belcombe. Soon joined Mr Duffin & never left him till 2¼, when he went away soon after. The most elegant supper I ever saw. All managed by Mr & Mrs Barber of the Black Swan, who had a confectioner down from London. The tables in the little Assembly room beautifully ornamented. At one end of the little middle table, fronting the sideboard, a large & beautifully done boar’s head of brawn. At the other end, a large swan swimming on jelly &, in the middle, a beautiful windmill near a yard high. At the two ends of each of the other tables, a couple of soups, white & brown. Altogether excellent & beautiful. Mr Barber was to furnish the supper at £150, exclusive of tea before supper, & wine & negus, etc. ’Twas said the whole would probably cost about £300. According to the list of the company taken by one of the sergeants, there were present 340 people. The benches were taken away that used to disfigure the pillars. The room was tastefully decorated. Flags at the four corners (the arms of England, the Union Jack, the arms of Scotland & of Ireland). The entrance to the room was through a tent lined with soldiers. The Egyptian Hall looked finely imposing & the whole thing was uncommonly well-managed & went off most uncommonly well. Only 2 or 3 country dances, all the rest, quadrilles… I came away at 5. M— staid with Anne & Lou, who remained till the finale at a few minutes before 6. Terribly bad night. Wind, rain & snow.

  On Friday 17 March, Isabella Norcliffe joins the house party at the Belcombes’.

  Saturday 18 March [York]

  Slept with M— in Anne’s room upstairs over the drawing-room… Little tiff with Tib… Said taking snuff & lying in bed did not suit me & she knew it. Answer; I never found fault with M—, & proceeded to it. It was a pity I let her marry. M— advised me last night to tell Tib every now & then she did not suit me & not to let her dwell so on the idea of our living together… Told Louisa I should not like to be long in the same house with M— & Tib. Lou is sure I like M— the best.

  Tuesday 21 March [York]

  At 8, Miss Marsh & I went together in the same chair to Mrs Copley’s… The latter part of the evening entirely with M—. 2 glees by Mr & Mrs J. Rapier & Mr Howgill & a sing-song by the first. Quadrilles, & supper at 12 for those who remained. Very odd concern. Half a large cold pigeon on one side & a piece of roast beef at the bottom, one of the ribs laid bare at some previous meal. Only one bottle of port & ditto of white. No malt liquor, no servants. No Mrs nor Miss Copley. The former desired M— to do the honors [sic] & left us all to ourselves. M— ashamed of the thing & did nothing. Miss Marsh & I returned in the same chair & got home at 12.50.

  Wednesday 22 March [York]

  Mrs Simpson came unexpectedly at 9… [She] t
old M— this morning she could not bear me, that I was the only woman she was ever afraid of. Wondered how anyone ever got acquainted with me. Mentioned my deep-toned voice as very singular. The girls said they were afraid of me but could like me because M— did.

  Thursday 23 March [York]

  Someone who did not know me said to Mrs John Raper of me, ‘One must not speak to her. She is a bluestocking.’ ‘I don’t know,’ replied Mrs Raper, ‘but she is very agreeable.’

  On 30 March, Anne returned to Halifax taking M— with her. M— stayed at Shibden until 14 April.

  Sunday 2 April [Halifax]

  Wet morning, sun, rain & wind. Had a chaise & my aunt & M— & I went to morning church… Miss Browne at church. M— rather nervous, I suppose at seeing her. At least, we talked about her on our return. M— said she did not like the thing & shewed her fondness for me by her care & quiet tears about it. I will not doubt her love any more.