Collecting Smiles

by Melody Burris

  Chapter Eight

  One Saturday evening in early November, I decided to celebrate the completion of a term paper by doing something with the guys. I knocked on their door feeling buoyant after the stress of my homework was lifted.

  Nathan answered looking put out. “What’s the matter?” I asked.

  “John and Emily are going out again. That’s the third time this week,” he fumed.

  I put my arm around his shoulder and led him back to the couch. “Hey why don’t we do something fun tonight? Andy’s at work, so I’m free.”

  “What would we do?”

  I thought for a second trying to think of something Nathan would enjoy. “We could go bowling and then I will treat you to a pizza.”

  His face brightened. “You’re on! Let me get my jacket.” It had been a slow week for smiles and a smile from Nathan was always a treat because they tended to be rare.

  “Well, I need my purse and jacket too. Meet you at your car in five?” He nodded and I went running across the parking lot to my apartment. Bowling with Nathan probably wasn’t the best idea; he could be so worked up, but at least it would get his mind off of things. I wonder how George would handle me dating his friends. I winced grateful that the idea hadn’t crossed my mind since I was 14.

  “Nathan those shoes are definitely you.”

  He huffed a laugh, “I was thinking the same thing. Maybe I should see if they sell em.”

  “Try to get the old ones that don’t match.”

  “I’ll see what I can do. Are we going to play or are we going to keep talking about how stunning I am? I mean, I’m open to either one but we did come here to play.”

  “Alright, just you wait. I have some moves.”

  “Yeah, but are they good?”

  I managed to have a game with no gutter balls, a personal first, and Nathan reined in his power enough that the ball only jumped into the other lane once. The first two games had us evenly matched; neither of us broke a hundred on our score. I managed to pull ahead the first game and he won the second. “Shall we go best two out of three?” I asked as we tallied the final score.

  “No, let’s leave things. That way were both winners. You mentioned pizza right?”

  I stared at Nathan surprised by this response. “Who are you and what have you done with my friend, Nathan?”

  “I’m working on some things in preparation for my mission.” He said shrugging. “Competition is a tough one for me.”

  Wow, Nathan always surprised me. “You’re awesome!” I told him honestly and have him a quick hug. “Let’s go get that pizza. No peppers, okay?”

  “I don’t do vegetables anyway.” He smiled at me and I frowned at him in a motherly way. “Some habits are harder to change than others,” he said. That made five smiles in all from Nathan in one night. The evening was a success. Nathan was feeling better and I had helped with that. Cheering up a friend had been a good way to celebrate my paper.

  The next morning on the ride to church, Andy seemed distracted. I thought that maybe he was thinking about the lesson he had to give in Elders’ Quorum. “Is everything okay?” I asked.

  He grunted and I wasn’t sure what that meant. I continued to stare at him looking for some kind of clue. Finally, he said, “We don’t really have time to talk about it now. We can talk after church.”

  Now, I was really worried. Apparently, I was the cause of the bad mood. My fears were confirmed when he came around to get my door but didn’t take my hand. We walked silently into the building. Mark and Nathan waved to us from the seats that they had saved but Andy ignored them and sat in a seat at the very back. I sat next to him feeling sad and confused. I shrugged at the guys and they turned around as the music started. The meeting began and I tried to concentrate but it was difficult. Saying a silent prayer for Andy seemed to be all I could do at the moment.

  I was fighting distraction as I tried listening to the Sunday School lesson with him rigid at my side. Relief Society was a little better but only because it was easier to focus without him right there. After church, Andy walked me to his car to begin our talk. He fidgeted with his keys for a few minutes, so I began.

  “Okay, so what’s going on?”

  “You know that I work most weekends and it has never seemed to bother you before,” he paused and I nodded my head for him to continue. Still he hesitated, “Are you seeing someone else?”

  “Why would you think that?”

  He didn’t answer, just continued on with his thoughts. “I mean… I know we haven’t talked about being exclusive but I thought that we were.” He sighed and looked away.

  “So did I.” I still didn’t understanding where this was coming from. “I haven’t been dating anyone but you.”

  “What about Nathan?”

  “Huh?” I said stunned

  “Nathan said that you guys went out last night.”

  “Yeah, he was sad, so I tried to cheer him up. It was just friends hanging out.”

  He sighed and shook his head slightly, “Megan, when it is just the two of you it looks a lot like a date.”

  “Well it wasn’t.” I said raising my voice. “So what? I can’t help my friends because we’re dating exclusively? That’s not fair.”

  “Of course you should help your friends. Just try not to date them.”

  “It wasn’t a date!” My voice filled the corner of our parking area and we both looked round to see if anyone heard. I lowered my voice, zipped up my hoodie and said, “I’m done talking about this.”

  Andy sighed again, “Okay, maybe we need some time to think. I don’t want to fight with you.”

  I turned to walk away hoping that he would stop me. “I’ll just walk home with my roommates then.” He didn’t answer, just got in his car and drove away.

  I walked home by myself, not in the mood to talk to anyone else. I hated that he didn’t believe me. I was angry with Andy and a little upset with Nathan, too. It made so much sense to me; why was Andy being so stubborn about this? The beauties of the changing fall trees which had delighted me for weeks were lost to me now as I grumbled, looking at the sidewalk. I grew grumpier with each step. Maybe relationships were more trouble than they were worth.

  The next few days passed in a similar way. Though I was still upset, I tried unsuccessfully not to let it interfere with my life. Tuesday evening Jackie bounced into the kitchen. “Do you always have to be so cheerful?” I griped.

  She stopped and looked me over carefully, “That’s not like you, Megan. What’s up?”

  Guilt shot through me and I turned to apologize. Instead, I spilled everything about the fight with Andy. When I’d finished, I added my own editorial, “He is being such a jerk about it! It’s totally silly to think that I was out with Nathan on a date!”

  Jackie scrunched her face up in a frown for a moment the slowly said, “Megan, I can see Andy’s point. It really looks like a date, even if you didn’t mean for it to be one.”

  “But what do looks have to do with anything?”

  “Well, have you stopped to wonder if Nathan thought it was a date?”

  What? Of course, he wouldn’t think that. We’re just buddies and he knows that I’m dating Andy. Suddenly, I wasn’t sure of anything. “Oh, no! Do you think he did?”

  “I couldn’t say, but what if other people saw you that night. Would they think it was a date?”

  I was starting to feel a little small, “Probably,” I admitted.

  “How would you feel if someone told you that they saw Andy out with another girl?”

  “Sad and a little jealous I guess.”

  “Now how would you feel if the girl was someone you knew well and you also knew that Andy really liked her?”

  “Worse. Oh, it does look bad doesn’t it?”

  Jackie didn’t say anything. She just looked at me with those all too knowing eyes. How did such wisdom wind up there of all places? I mean Jackie is great and all, but I wouldn’t have pegged her for a relationship guru.r />
  “But wait does that mean that I have to watch everything I do and change who I am just so that I don’t offend Andy? Shouldn’t he trust me?”

  “I don’t think it will be as hard as all that. Just think before you act. You like to plan. Next time invite another friend along and then there will be two of you to do the cheering up. I’m always available… unfortunately.”

  I smiled at her and gave her a big hug. “Thanks, Jackie. You are really much better at this relationship stuff than I am.”

  “Those who can’t do, teach.”

  Now I needed to figure out how I was going to approach Andy. Was he still really mad? Saying sorry was going to take some planning because I didn’t know that I had anything to be sorry for until a minute ago. I sat down at the computer after dinner and wrote him a letter then I deleted the whole thing because some things need to be done in person. It was too late to go over, so I made my plan to see him the next night. What was it that Mark called it? Eating Crow? I would have the whole next day to work up my appetite for that meal.

  Pretend conversations played in my head all day with different responses from Andy. It was becoming a bit of an obsession, but thankfully, I was going to get it over with soon. These last couple of days had been bad enough for me. Despite my initial thoughts about relationships not being worth it, I really missed him. How had my life gotten so complicated?

  I stood on the doorstep of D41 waiting for them to answer it and tapping my foot. It was time to straighten this out. If Nathan was home, maybe Andy and I would have to go somewhere else to talk. It was going to be awkward enough without having an audience and I still wasn’t sure if Nathan thought it was a date.

  Mark answered the door. He seemed surprised and pleased to see me. I guessed that he had been dealing with a grumpy roommate too. I wondered if I should recommend Jackie as someone to commiserate with. “Is Andy here?”

  “Sure, Megan. Come on in and I’ll get him.”

  I shifted my weight from foot to foot wondering what to do if Andy was still really mad. Andy came out of his room looking a little disheveled. “Megan?”

  “I hoped we could talk about things.”

  “I’m really sorry,” he began, “I shouldn’t have gotten so upset.”

  “I’m sorry too. I didn’t think about how you would feel.”

  “I don’t want you to change for me, I’m sorry it seemed like I was asking you too.”

  I almost laughed, this was not going the way I had expected at all. “I will try to be more careful in the future because I don’t want to hurt you again.”

  We had closed the gap between us now and were hugging for the first time in days. I laid my head on his shoulder and sighed contentedly. “I’m glad you came over,” he said. “I missed you.

  “I missed you, too.”

  Mark walked through the room at that moment, shrinking himself down as if to not be noticed. “Sorry, I have an appointment,” he said as he passed through with his jacket in hand. Andy and I laughed.

  Andy drove me to the airport the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I was almost dreading going home; partly because I would miss him and partly because I knew the chaos that awaited me. Family chaos could be fun and I really wanted to see everyone. There were so many final preparations for the wedding that my family had decided to forgo the traditional Thanksgiving meal, lest we put Mom in the hospital. Dad was taking us all out for Chinese food instead.

  For my part, there was a list waiting for me of at least 20 things I needed to do before the reception on Saturday night. No doubt, there would be other things that came up too. It would be good to be home. I wished that Andy could meet all of my family.

  I gave Andy a quick kiss on the cheek and he hugged my shoulders because my arms where full with my carryon luggage: a bag of clothes, and the wedding present. I had looked all over for just the right picture for George and Lindsey. I had barely gotten it framed in time. Everyone should have a picture of Christ in their home and this one was my favorite.

  Andy had endured a lot of shopping the past couple of weeks with the wedding presents and the perfect shoes to match the bridesmaid dress. I liked shoe shopping about as much as I liked going to the oncologist but some things couldn't be avoided. At least with Andy along the shopping was tolerable.

  The flight seemed quick and it wasn’t long before I was hugging Dad. As we drove home, I got the rundown of how everything was going. “I told your mom that if I sit down on one more wedding project, I am going to Uncle Carl’s until things settle. Those corsage pins are pretty painful.”

  “Oh, Dad!”

  “Don’t laugh. You’ve escaped it all and don’t think I haven’t noticed. I feel like the captain sitting next to the mutineer.”

  “I didn’t mutiny and I haven’t abandoned the ship. See I came back to sink with it.”

  “Okay, I guess you’re right but if you suggest any last minute good ideas you’re dead to me.”

  “Have there been a lot of last minute ideas?”

  “You have no idea. I don’t think your mother has slept an entire night in over a month.”

  “Consider me your most loyal sailor. I will swab the deck, take orders, and have no good ideas.”

  “That’s my girl. I knew I could count on you.”

  I laughed. “I’m not really sure it that’s a compliment or not.” His return smile added to my tally for the week. I had a goal to get at least one smile from every member of the family while I was home. I was beginning to think that my stressed out mom might be a hard egg to crack.

  “So how is school going?”

  It was PPI time. Dad was always good at getting those in whenever I visited. I gave him the run down on my classes and my grades. The questions about my social life for once had answers. I tried my best to explain Andy and our relationship; leaving the recent upset out of it. He was not satisfied with simple explanations and pumped me for details.

  “How long have you been dating? Is he respectful? What is his major? Is he a returned missionary? How did you meet? Does he have a car? Do you really like him? I’m not going to have to put up with another wedding this year, am I?”

  “Don’t get so excited, Dad. I don’t think you have to worry about anything. He is my first boyfriend, after all. But if you do have to plan for a wedding, I will give you plenty of notice so that you can move to Uncle Carl’s where it is safe.”

  “Good girl.”

  A chilly breeze met my face, as I climbed out of the car. Usually it was warmer this time of year. “I hope it warms up for the wedding. My dress has short sleeves. I assume we are doing outside photos.”

  “Don’t assume anything at this point. I stopped trying to predict the actual events about two weeks ago.” Dad grabbed my bags. “Let’s go inside; Mom has a list for us, I’m sure.”

  Thanksgiving went by in a blur, there almost wasn’t time to miss Andy, almost. Braiding Kelly’s long, beautiful hair was the first thing on my list for Friday morning. She was blessed not to have the fuzzy mess that I had inherited. Kelly’s dress was a light pink with small burgundy roses all over it and I placed little pink roses in her hair after it was braided.

  Heated debate had ensued over how I should wear my hair but after an evening of playing with it, they’d reached a consensus. I could wear it any way I wanted, as long as I added some of the baby pink roses. Thankfully, I didn’t have to try to wrestle my hair into an intricate braid, although if the goal was to make sure I looked silly so the bride would shine in comparison then that would be the way to go. I thought of my beautiful, blond, petite future sister in law and doubted she would need to resort to such tactics.

  Sure enough, when George and Lindsey exited the temple in the morning sunlight they were glowing. George looked really happy and I was so excited for him. They were met by a large group of people who wanted to give hugs and congratulations. Forcing my way to the front of the mob, I gave my big, grown-up brother a hug. I gave Lindsey a hug and welcomed her to
the family. She was crying a little and George had tears in his eyes, too.

  They, of course, weren’t the only ones; both Mom and Dad were starting to cry. Wow. Funny how much happiness a marriage can bring. I thought back over the few days that I had been fighting with Andy. It had felt so good to be with him again. I guess it only makes sense that knowing you never had to say goodbye would have this effect. The more I thought about it, the more I decided it would make anyone overwhelmingly happy to have such a blessing. My joy for George and Lindsey doubled.

  I watched their beaming faces and realized that I should have tried to get smiles from them before the wedding. I was never going to have a chance to create one now. Every smile they had over the next few days would be for each other. Oh, well small price to pay, at least I got to see them so happy.

  The weather had warmed up so the pictures, although long, were not a problem. The happy couple ate lunch at a nearby restaurant with the two families and then they went off on their own while we finished preparations for the reception the next day.

  Most of the final work was just baking cookies and decorating the cultural hall the next morning. I put a batch of cookies in the oven and Dad made Mom take a nap. While the cookies were baking, I called Andy.

  “Hi, Megan. How did the wedding go?”

  “It was wonderful. They both seem so happy. How was your Thanksgiving?”

  “Crazy but good. Mark’s family is a trip. We spent this morning making a snow fort.”

  “Did you have a snowball fight?”

  “Not yet. Caleb has been making snowballs all afternoon. I think Mark and I are in trouble after dinner.”

  “Sounds fun; wish I could be there.”

  “I wish you could too. I miss you.”

  “Me too. You should have seen me trying to get all the baby roses out of my hair and I get to do it all over again tomorrow.”

  “I’m sure you looked beautiful. Did the twins behave themselves?”

  “Funny you should mention them, I haven’t seen them much. I think they are maintaining a low profile at the moment so they don’t get put to work.”

  “Mark and I are planning on picking you up from the airport on our way back Sunday night. We’ll be a little cramped in Mark’s truck, is that okay?”

  I giggled, “Bummer; an excuse to snuggle.”

  He laughed too, “Good point. This is a better plan than I’d realized.”

  The timer for the cookies went off. “I have to go. There is still a lot to do. Take care.”

  “You too. Bye.”

  I smiled as I hung up the phone. Things were going good with Andy. We hadn’t used the “L” word but that made it a lot simpler. I wasn’t sure that I felt that way yet but I was starting to feel something. It wasn’t the plan to get into a serious relationship this year but it wasn’t a bad bonus. Luckily, I had been wrong about the whole ruined friendship thing.

  One reception down and it was quick kisses and hugs goodbye at the airport. The reception had gone off without a hitch. The beautiful couple danced, visited with friends and then left for their honeymoon with streamers trailing from their car. I was a little sad that I hadn’t had a moment alone with George in all the chaos. I guess that was just the way things were, now that he was all grown up. I wondered about that and whether marriage was some final step in that process. But then there were plenty of grownups who weren’t married. So what was it that made him seem different to me?

  The time had gone so fast that my head was spinning. I closed my eyes when the plane took off and thought about my PPI with Dad which he’d finished on the way to the airport. I’d had to admit that I had gotten a little behind for a while with my school work but that I was all caught up now. He’d asked me about church. I talked to him a little about my calling and some of the things I was learning, like how my last visiting teaching appointment had resulted in a good gospel discussion. The Spirit had been really strong. Dad gave me the usual ‘keep up the good work’ and ‘try a little’ harder speeches where appropriate.

  The plane trip seemed long because I was sitting more than I had since I stepped off the plane in Phoenix. I closed my eyes and replayed the smiles I’d gathered. First, there had been Dad’s on the way home from the airport but I had collected two others from him for helping Mom out.

  Mom had managed an exhausted but genuine smile towards the end of the reception. We were sitting at a table in a darker corner of the room. She’d kicked her heels off and was resting a bit. She wasn’t up to grilling me for information about my life but was more in a reminiscing mood. By the time, she’d recounted several George/Megan stories she was smiling.

  Drew had given me a smile while we listened to music in his room. I think at the time, we were actually hiding from Mom. He has a pretty nice system and we each had on a big pairs of headphones, the kind that look like earmuffs.

  Matt’s smile had come while we were playing basketball in the driveway. He was a very aggressive player. Though, I’d had lots of practice lately. Matt was more than willing to get in my way and knock me down if needed to get the ball. It was while he was helping me up off the ground that he smiled and said, “It’s fun having you home.”

  Kelly’s smile was much easier than I’d expected. I’d gotten it the minute I walked in the door Wednesday night. She pushed her way through the crowd of family in the kitchen and jumped into my arms. There was such an age gap between us that we’d never been very close. Her welcome brought tears to my eyes and I gave her a proper Cole family style hug.

  The trip lagged on and trying to sleep was not working. Andy and Mark would be waiting for me when I walked through the terminal and I could feel my excitement building. I felt like we had so much to catch up on and I couldn't wait to hear the results of that snowball fight.