In Your Heart

by Micalea Smeltzer

  I shook my head at him and turned towards the stove.

  A tingling sensation came over me and I knew instantly that Ezra had entered the room. Whenever he was near my body tingled. I should’ve known Hayes wasn’t him.

  “Hey,” he said softly.

  “I’m going down to the beach.” Hayes announced suddenly. “Just yell for me when the grub’s ready.”

  He hightailed it out of the kitchen like his ass was on fire. For all I knew maybe he did feel the simmering heat of the flame that burned between Ezra and I.

  I didn’t bother to turn around and acknowledge Ezra. I continued on making breakfast, like his presence didn’t affect me at all.

  He said nothing as I finished making one of the omelets. I grabbed a stack of plates and slid the omelet out of the skillet onto the top one. I picked up the plate and handed it to him.

  “Hungry?” I asked.

  I wasn’t mad at him. On the contrary, I was mad at myself for expecting more. I was pathetic.

  He grabbed the plate and opened a drawer to grab a fork. He speared a bite and I watched as he raised it to his mouth and chewed, waiting for his reaction.

  “Not bad,” he cracked a smile, “in fact, it’s pretty damn good.”

  I smiled despite my dour feelings. I set about making the rest and I was sliding the third onto a plate when he spoke again.

  “Would you be opposed to going somewhere with me today?”

  I arched a brow and set the skillet aside. “Just the two of us?” I wondered.

  He nodded, striding over to the sink to wash his plate. “Yeah, just you and me.”

  “What do you want to do?” I questioned, crossing my arms over my chest as my suspicions rose.

  He shrugged casually and stared at me from across the kitchen island. “I can’t tell you.”

  I let out a sigh. Despite not knowing what he had planned, I refused to say no. “When do I need to be ready?”

  “After you eat breakfast,” he mused. “And wear something stretchy.”

  “Stretchy?” I repeated. What the hell did he have planned? “We better not be biking. That shit makes my vagina hurt, and don’t get me started on guys. Seriously, where does your junk go? It’s one of the many mysteries of the world.”

  He snorted. “Sadie, you’re one of a kind. And no, we’re not going biking. Think outside the box a bit more.” He winked and then strode out of the kitchen, leaving me alone to wonder what he was up to.

  No matter how much I racked my brain I couldn’t come up with one single idea.

  “Ezra,” I whined, looking out the window as he continued to drive farther and farther away, “where are you taking me? If you wanted to kill me and feed my body to the sharks we could’ve done that back at the house.”

  He stopped singing along to the radio and chuckled. “Come on, you have to have more faith in me than that.”

  “My faith in you sailed away approximately five minutes ago. We’ve been in the car for an hour. I’m going stir crazy.”

  “Be patient.”

  “Why does my gut tell me I’m not going to like whatever it is you’re up to?”

  He grinned and shook his head like I was oh-so-cute. I wondered if he’d still think it was cute when my panic caused me to jump out of a moving vehicle.

  Ten minutes later we turned into a parking lot in front of a plain building. I swung my head around wildly, looking for a sign or any sort of clue to the origins of the building.

  “High Flyers,” I read. “Please tell me you’re not making me jump out of a plane. I know you did that with Maddox and Emma, but I’m not as brave as Emma,” I admitted.

  “No planes.” He assured me and got out of the vehicle.

  I hastily followed after him. “Then what is this place?”

  “You’ll see.”

  I was tempted to run back to the safety of the car, but something told me he’d only chase after me and drag me back.

  He opened the glass door to the building and waved me in ahead of him.

  We were standing in some sort of lobby. The floors were a beige tile and the walls were a pale yellow.

  I rubbed my hands together nervously as he strode over to the counter and spoke with the lady sitting behind it.

  She answered him and I saw her point to a doorway.

  “This way.” Ezra nodded his head.

  I followed him and when I saw what was behind the door I thought I might throw up. “No, no, no, no fucking way am I doing this.”

  I darted for the door and he caught me around my waist, dragging me into his body.

  “I’m going to die,” I said dramatically. “I will fall to my death.”

  “You’ll be fine,” he chuckled, “there’s a net.”

  “So, you’re implying that I will fall?”

  “Well, you have to get down somehow.”

  “I can’t do this.” My stomach rolled, looking up at the sight before me once more.

  We were in a training facility of some sort and above us were these things hanging from the ceiling. People held onto the bars and jumped from one to the next. One man hung upside down on one, holding a woman’s hands in his and spun her around. In another corner of the gym long pieces of fabric hung from the ceiling with a woman spinning from one, exactly like we’d seen at the circus.

  “Ezra,” I started, throwing in a dramatic gulp for good measure, “this was awesome when we saw it at the circus, but there’s no way in hell you are ever getting me up there.”

  “Come on,” his hand landed on my butt and he gave it a small squeeze, “it’ll be fun. It’s something we’ll remember forever.”

  I wanted to argue with him that I would remember every single moment we shared together for the rest of my life, but I knew he’d just find another argument for getting me up there.

  “If I die you better tell my parents that I love them…and tell my brother that I was the one that broke his BB gun when we were little. He was really mad about that and I blamed the dog.”

  Ezra snorted. “Anything else?”

  “Not at the moment, but something might come to me before I plummet to my death.”

  He shook his head, trying to hold in his laughter and failing miserably. “If you’re falling to your death then I hardly think you can impart any last words.”

  I shrugged, rearing my head back to watch as the man swung back and forth gaining momentum before throwing the woman into the air. She easily caught onto one of the metal bar things.

  “Then I guess the world will never know my last words of wisdom. ‘Tis a shame. Maybe we should leave before the world has to deal with the burden of such a loss?”

  He crossed his arms over his chest. “Or maybe you shouldn’t be such a scaredy cat.”

  “Scaredy cat?” I wrinkled my nose. “What are we? Five?”

  He chuckled. “You’re the one acting like a baby.”

  “Ooh,” I mock winced, “that hurts, Ezra.”

  “Just calling it like I see it.” He smiled innocently.

  “You must be Ezra and Sadie.” A voice sounded behind us.

  I turned around hastily and had to rear my head back to see the face of the man standing there. He was so tall that he made Hayes seem short. He had to be at least six-foot-seven.

  “That’s us.” Ezra reached out to shake his hand.

  The man held his hand out to me next. I placed mine inside his open palm and watched it nearly disappear in his gigantic grasp.

  “I’m Oscar. I’ll be your instructor today.”

  I glanced over my shoulder once more and gulped.

  “Don’t be scared,” Oscar said, drawing my attention back to him, “it’s not as scary as it looks.”

  “I don’t believe you,” I muttered.

  He chuckled, amused by my words. “You’ll change your mind once you get up there.”

  “Why?” I asked, curiously.

  He shrugged and a look of contemplation stole over his face. “Because,” he replied,
“when you’re up there…it feels a lot like freedom.”

  I sighed and lifted my hands in the air. “Alright then, let’s do this.”

  “Are you sure?” Ezra questioned. He might’ve been pushing me to do this, but he’d never make me do anything I absolutely didn’t want to do.

  “Yeah,” I nodded, steeling my shoulders, “let’s go make some memories.”

  Oscar went through countless instructions and made us do several exercises on the ground before letting us go up high. We weren’t made to wear harnesses since there was a giant net beneath the bars to catch us. I would’ve felt better wearing a harness, but I didn’t say anything. I’d already made enough of an embarrassment out of myself.

  We climbed the ladder on opposite sides. Oscar chose to come with me. I think he was afraid I’d chicken out. But I’d committed to this. Besides, seeing how happy Ezra was and the effort he’d gone through to make this happen was pretty sweet.

  I’d learned that Oscar, and all the professionals here, were a part of a circus in Orlando. This was their training center and they were on a break right now, preparing for a brand new show opening in a few weeks.

  I watched as Ezra pulled one of the bars towards him. When he grabbed the bar he hung from it upside down, swaying in the air. I let out a scream like I was the one swaying like a pendulum.

  “Your turn,” Oscar spoke.

  I shook my head. “I can’t do that.”

  “You don’t need to do it upside down. Just grab it like we practiced down below.”

  My feet tapped restlessly against the platform. “I can’t do this,” I whimpered.

  “Come on, Sadie,” Ezra pleaded. “For me.”

  I closed my eyes.

  For him.

  I reached out and jumped, grabbing onto the bar. I screamed as I swung back and forth, my feet dangling below me. I had no idea how far the fall was, and I hadn’t wanted to ask. Instead I kept reminding myself that there was a net that would catch my fall.

  My arms began to burn. “I’m going fall,” I cried.

  Ezra swung towards me. “Jump to me.”

  “No! Are you crazy?!” I shrieked, trying to hold myself up. Running clearly wasn’t doing anything for my upper body strength. I was going to have to work on that.

  Ezra’s face was turning bright red from hanging upside down. “Do you trust me?”

  I squished my eyes closed. “That’s a stupid question.”

  “Sadie,” he growled, “do you trust me?”

  “Yes!”

  “Then fucking jump. I’ve got you. I’ve always had you.”

  My throat closed up and I swung back gaining momentum.

  I waited until I was in the right position and I let go, hurtling my body towards him.

  I reached for his hands and he caught mine, somehow managing to hold onto me.

  “See,” he said, “I’ll always catch you when you fall.”

  “Except when you drop me onto the net,” I mumbled, my legs swaying.

  He laughed, but it sounded more like a cough since he was upside down. “But it’ll be a gentler fall.”

  I guess I couldn’t argue with that.

  “Ready?” He asked.

  “Ready,” I answered.

  He let me go.

  He was right. It was a gentle fall.

  But when we inevitably ended I knew the fall would be anything but gentle. It was going to be fucking brutal and I wondered if either of us would come out unscathed.

  EZRA AND I spent the whole day together after leaving the training facility. We did random silly things, like racing go-carts and hanging out at this little diner. We laughed and joked, and for the moment at least it felt like we were the old Sadie and Ezra. We had no pressure from our friends, or ourselves.

  When we returned to the house it was already getting late and the sun was setting.

  “I thought you guys were never going to get back,” Emma cried impatiently.

  “Did you miss us that much?” I laughed, setting my bag down and kicking off my flip-flops.

  Ezra walked past me, his arm grazing mine in the process and headed into the kitchen.

  “We’re going out,” Emma declared.

  “We are?” I raised a brow. “I didn’t know.”

  “Well neither of you would answer your phones,” she huffed, tapping her foot impatiently. “There’s a club Hayes wants to go to. Mathias and Remy are staying behind and watching Mia, so Arden’s going too.”

  “What does that have to do with me?” I questioned, dropping into one of the chairs in the living room. Mathias sat on the couch and raised his chin slightly in greeting.

  Emma followed and perched her butt on the coffee table in front of me. “Maddox and I are going too, and so are you and Ezra.”

  I raised a brow. “Maybe I don’t want to go.”

  She shook her head. “You know, you were always the one pushing me to do things out of my comfort zone. You were the crazy one in this friendship that had all this experience and now you act like an old lady.”

  I snorted, fighting a smile. “I am old.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said, grabbing my hand, “I’m really not trying to be bossy, and I’m sorry I keep coming across that way. I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately…” She paused, taking a breath. “But we only have one more day here and I wanted us to spend tonight and tomorrow together. Once we get home things will get crazy with the wedding and it’ll be hard for us to have any girl time.”

  I frowned. I could see where she was coming from. We’d also both been far too bitchy to each other lately and I knew it was my fault. If I would just confess everything that was going on to her I knew this tension would disappear, but I just wasn’t ready to talk about it. I knew she wouldn’t approve of our arrangement. She wanted to see us together as a real couple, not as fuck buddies.

  “I’m in…but you better let me do your hair and makeup.”

  She winced. “Just don’t make me look like a hooker.”

  “And when have I ever done that?”

  “Middle school. Lauren Hanagen’s thirteenth birthday.”

  I laughed. “I think I’ve learned a few things since then. Have no fear, you’re in good hands.”

  “So what are we doing?” Ezra asked, walking into the room with a bag of chips in his hands.

  I glanced over at him and said, “We’re going clubbing.”

  “That sounds like a disaster.” He mumbled around a mouthful of chips.

  Emma threw her arms in the air. “Y’all act like this is a death sentence.”

  “I’m sure it’ll be fun as long as no one gets a roofied drink.”

  Emma threw a pillow at him and Ezra tried to duck away, but it still collided with his shoulder before falling to the ground.

  Backing into the kitchen he held his phone up and waved it around. “It’s getting late, so you ladies might want to get ready. I know it typically takes you five hours.”

  This time I was the one to throw a pillow at him and his laughter carried from the kitchen all the way into the living room, and I couldn’t help but smile.

  I finished styling Emma’s hair in a loose fishtail braid and moved on to Arden.

  I’d already done my own hair and makeup. I chose to straighten my hair since I’d been leaving it wavy so much and left it down. For my makeup I’d gone in a more dramatic direction—red lips and smoky gray eyes.

  “I’m not sure I should go.” Arden frowned, biting at her nails. “What if Mia needs me?”

  I smacked her hand away. “Mia is already asleep. She’s not even going to know that you’re gone. And if for whatever reason she would wake up Mathias and Remy will be here. Plus, we all have cellphones if we need to get ahold of each other. It’ll be fine.”

  I wanted Arden to go out and have fun, even if it was only for one night. Being a single mom didn’t afford her much time to do things for herself. She deserved this.

  “You’re right, you’re right,” she
chanted, like she was trying to convince herself.

  I went to work curling her long red hair and then fluffed it out with my fingers.

  “Thanks for letting me borrow this.” She pointed to her clothes.

  Arden hadn’t packed any “party” clothes as she called them, so I’d lent her some to go out. Since I didn’t have a spare dress, she was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, and a gold-sequined strapless peplum top. It looked amazing next to her vivid red hair. We wore the same shoe size so I also lent her a pair of black pumps. She wobbled a bit in them, but I doubted Hayes would leave her side tonight so I wasn’t worried about her falling over.

  “Ladies,” I said, giving them each a once over and then myself in the mirror, “I think we’re ready.”

  Downstairs the guys were waiting for us. They were all dressed casually in jeans and t-shirts. No surprise there.

  “You look beautiful,” Maddox told Emma, his eyes moving from her head down to her toes and back up again. Even after being together this long his words still made her cheeks tinge pink.

  She was dressed in a sparkly flapper style dress in colors that reminded me of a mermaid.

  Maddox nuzzled her neck and kissed her cheek before they headed to the door. Arden and Hayes were right behind them, which left Ezra and I alone for the moment.

  I hadn’t looked at him when I entered the room, but now I lifted my eyes to his.

  The look in his eyes could be described in one word. Hunger.

  He was starved for me, and I reveled in that fact.

  I loved knowing that my very presence had an affect on him. That it killed him that right now he could only look and not touch.

  “That dress,” he growled lowly, his eyes scanning my body slowly like he was savoring every inch.

  “You like?” I did a little spin, showing it off. The dress was short and tight, but had three-quarter sleeves and covered me fully in the front. The back, however, was open to just above my butt and crisscrossed at my shoulders. The fabric was purple and shimmery, so it appeared to sparkle any time the light caught it.

  “Fuck.” He groaned, looking pained, and scrubbed his hands down his face.