Shame on It All

by Zane

  21

  Let’s Make a Love Scene

  Bryce was eyeing her coworker Yvon’s hairstyle, wondering what the hell was up with it because she couldn’t tell if it was supposed to be straight or curly. They were off in a corner of the conference room picking through a platter of cookies while eight other people sat at the conference table making chitchat about boring topics. They were all waiting patiently for Winston, their boss, to return from yet another trip to the bathroom.

  “Have you noticed that Winston’s been in and out of the rest room a lot today?” Yvon asked Bryce, stirring a cube of sugar into her coffee.

  “How could I not notice it? This meeting is taking forever,” Bryce replied sarcastically.

  “He must have an upset stomach.”

  “Could be.” Bryce held in a laugh and almost choked on the oatmeal raisin cookie she’d just taken a bite of. Winston had spoken nastily to Bryce yet again the week before, so she’d taken the liberty of sneaking into his office. She’d mixed a container of powdered laxative into the muscle-building shake he fixed first thing every morning. She was the only one who knew why he was making mad dashes to the bathroom. “All I know is, I won’t be shaking his hand anytime soon.”

  “Bryce, you’re so crazy!”

  Bryce wasn’t offended since the statement was true. “You still seeing Joshua, also known as R. Kelly Jr.?”

  “Yeah, gurl! Joshua and I are going strong.” Yvon was seeing a musician that Bryce had nicknamed R. Kelly Jr. since he tried to emulate him in clothing, body language, and of course music. “How about you and George?”

  Bryce rolled her eyes. “Hmph, George is history. I found myself a new man.”

  “I’m shocked. I thought you’d walk down the aisle with George.”

  “I thought that, too, until he decided to cheat.”

  “Aw, Bryce! I’m so sorry, gurl.”

  Bryce giggled. “Don’t be sorry. George’s fuckup was the best thing that ever happened to me. Troy’s ten times the man George will ever be.”

  “Troy, huh? How’d you meet him?”

  “Long story.”

  “Judging by how long it’s taking Winston to come back from the rest room, I have time for a book,” Yvon said loud enough for everyone else to hear. She wanted it known that she was irritated by the delays.

  Bryce smirked, wondering why Yvon thought she had some sort of clout when she was dead last on the seniority pole. “We met at a Memorial Day cookout over a mutual friend’s house.”

  “Is he fine?”

  “Can you picture me dating a man who isn’t fine?” Bryce asked incredulously.

  Yvon chuckled. “No, I guess not.”

  “I know not. I want to wake up in the middle of the night and see a pretty face; not an extra from The Night of the Living Dead.”

  “You are such a fool.”

  “Just keeping it real.”

  “You want to hang out someplace tonight? Joshua’s going to a bachelor party.”

  “I can’t. Troy and I are going to get busy tonight.” Bryce winked at Yvon.

  “Oh, yeah? What’s up?” Yvon asked excitedly. She knew how Bryce liked to get down.

  “I’ll never tell.” Bryce could see Yvon was practically salivating to get into her business, but decided to leave her hanging. “Matter of fact, Troy doesn’t even know what’s up.”

  “Sounds like you have something kinky in store for him,” Yvon prodded.

  Bryce laughed and rubbed the crumbs left over from the cookie off the corners of her mouth with a napkin. “I’m not sure kinky describes it, but he’ll have a good time.”

  Winston came walking into the room holding his stomach. They all were shaking their heads at him.

  “Here comes Winston,” Yvon whispered to Bryce. “Promise me you’ll give me some details later.”

  “I don’t know about all that, Yvon. You tend to have a big mouth sometimes.”

  “And you don’t?”

  Bryce smirked. “Whatever, heifer. I just hope Winston doesn’t start lighting up the room with his farts.”

  “Damn, Bryce, take it easy on my poor dick,” Troy said, flinching. “You’ve been sucking my dick for hours now.”

  She popped it out for a quick second. “Well, they say practice makes perfect so I’m practicing.”

  “Practicing for what? The Suck-a-Dick-a-Thon? The Dick Sucking Olympics?” He tried to push her off him.

  “You’re so silly.” She licked around the head. “I saw this transvestite suck a dick one time. I was envious as all hell so I figure anything a shemale can do, I can do better.”

  “A transvestite sucking dick! Bryce, I just don’t know about your crazy ass sometimes.”

  She glanced up for a brief moment, looked him in the eyes, then suckled on the head of his dick, drawing out some precum.

  Troy flinched, more so out of pleasure than pain. “I used to pray every night to my black Buddha doll with the Afro and joint in his mouth to send me a freaky woman, but he overdid it with your sexually deviant ass.”

  Bryce almost choked on his dick when she fell out laughing.

  He started caressing the back of her neck. After all, the blow job she was giving him was the bomb diggity. “You know, this here is most men’s greatest fantasy. Having a woman suck his dick for hours and hours. With the exception of a three-some. Speaking of which, what about—”

  Bryce reached underneath his dick, pinching his balls before he could finish his sentence.

  “Ouch!” Troy hissed. “I’ve schooled your ass about this violence shit before!”

  Bryce took his dick out her mouth, jumped up, and plopped down beside him on the couch. “I’m full.”

  “Just like that?” Troy held his hands out and sighed with confusion.

  “Yeah, you brought up a threesome and that spoiled the mood.” She picked up her Jet magazine and started flipping through the Photos of the Week.

  “Hold up! Two seconds ago you were going to town on my dick and now you’re reading Jet?”

  “Yep. On second thought, I’m too tired to read. I’m just going to call it a night.”

  She flung the issue of Jet onto his lap and got up from the couch, leaving him there looking dumbfounded. “I can’t believe this shit!”

  Bryce decided to really drive home her point to never bring up the threesome topic again. Even freaky-ass women like her draw the line at sharing the dick. “Why don’t you just go home tonight? You do have a place, remember?”

  Troy glowered, trying to figure out his next move. There was no way he was going home and sleeping alone after getting used to being with Bryce every night. Then he remembered he had one more trick up his sleeve. He went into the kitchen to find his briefcase.

  Bryce was halfway up the steps by the time he caught up to her. “Just lock the door on your way out,” she demanded without even turning around.

  “Oh, well.” He sighed. “I guess we won’t be able to microwave some popcorn and watch the bootleg copy of Jerry Springer Too Hot for TV I got off this dude down at Haines Point last week.”

  Bryce swung around, gleaming like a kid in a candy store. “You got the tape?”

  Troy waved it around in the air like it was a winning Pick-4 lottery ticket. “I sure did! Anything for my baby!”

  Bryce ran back down the steps, flung her arms around him, and kissed him all over his face. “I love you sooooooo much!”

  “What did you say?” Troy was shocked and so was Bryce once she realized her slip of the tongue.

  “I said I hate you sooooooo much.” She tried to cover it up.

  “Naw, naw, nawwwwwww, the hell you didn’t,” he insisted. “You said you looooovvvve me!”

  Bryce blushed, diverting her eyes to his chest. “So what if I did say it? What would your response be?”

  Bryce nibbled on her bottom lip with nervous anticipation.

  “Well, if you did say it, and that’s a big-ass if according to you, then I would probably say…” H
e paused, rubbing his fingers over his chin as if he were pondering the notion.

  “Probably?” Bryce rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips.

  Troy looked at her, beautiful even though she was pouting, and couldn’t resist the urge to confess his true feelings any longer. He took her smooth, delicate hands into his. “I love you, Bryce! I always have! Ever since the moment I first laid eyes on you!”

  She started blushing harder and giggled. “The feeling’s mutual!”

  She turned around and started running up the steps again. “Last one in the bed is a rotten egg!”

  “Cheater!” Troy tried to catch up. “I still can’t believe it took a Jerry Springer tape to get you to say ‘I love you’! All this good-ass dick I’ve been breaking your ass off with for months? Shame on it all!”

  “Ouch!” Lucky screamed, startling both Robbie and Lucinda.

  Robbie came running into the kitchen of his apartment with the puppy in close pursuit, only to discover Lucky standing over the stove sucking on her index finger.

  “What happened?”

  “I got burned by the boiling water.” He took her finger out of her mouth and placed it in his own, trying to soothe the pain. “I wanted to cook you a special, romantic dinner and now it’s turning into a disaster.”

  Robbie took the pot handles and moved the steaming pot of noodles to a cool burner. “Spaghetti, huh?”

  “Yes, spaghetti with garlic bread and tossed salad.”

  “Oh, I tell-l-l-l-l-l-l-l you-you-you what,” Robbie stuttered. “Don’t worry your pretty little self over it. Let’s just order some Chinese and have it delivered.”

  Lucky wondered why he didn’t want her to finish cooking. The sauce was fine and it was just a little finger burn. Then she started giggling. “Umm, Robbie, doesn’t your grandma on your father’s side live in New Orleans?”

  “Yes.” He was searching through a kitchen drawer for the take-out menu. “Why do you ask? You wanna go check out the Mardi Gras next year?”

  “Yeah, we can.” Lucky chuckled. “But I just thought you should know that my period’s not due for at least another week.”

  He looked at her like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. They both busted out laughing.

  After eating three servings of Lucky’s delicious spaghetti, Robbie got up to clear the dishes while Lucky turned on the stereo. She turned the dial on the receiver to her favorite station, WPGC 95.5, just in time to catch the beginning of Love Talk and Slow Jams.

  They sat there listening to the callers, both male and female, openly discussing issues related to relationships and sex. A couple of debates ensued between Lucky and Robbie, especially the one about how men always lie on their dick size.

  One sistah called in and broached the issue. Of course, men got mad offended, Robbie being one of them.

  “Listen, Baby,” Lucky said, “I don’t mean you no harm, but men do lie on the dick.”

  “Well, not this man! You know better than anyone that I have no reason to lie.”

  “You’re right, Baby,” she confessed, knowing that no other answer was acceptable. “You’re packing your fair share and then some.”

  “Damn straight!”

  They both giggled.

  “Yet and still,” she continued, “I was over this gurl Rhonda’s dorm room late one night and she was in this black chat room on America Online.”

  “Yeah and?”

  “Nuccas were in there bragging about how they had ten or eleven inches and could knock the bottom out a pussy.”

  Robbie laughed hysterically. “Sorry asses! On the Internet, trying to get laid. That’s pathetic!”

  “Oh, you haven’t heard the half of it. They were sending out pics, too. Naked ones.”

  “Get out of here!” Robbie wondered if any of the sistahs were sending out nude pics as well but wasn’t about to ask.

  “Yup, they sure were. Fake pics at that,” Lucky said avidly. “Half of them were pics of gay porn stars and the other half were doctored.”

  “Damn shame, but how do you know they were gay porn stars?”

  “My gurl Rhonda is freaky like that!”

  “Oh!” They both fell out laughing again.

  “Those men were lying. Rhonda and I figured out a formula to come up with the real dick size.”

  “Which is?”

  “Take the Internet chat-room dick size and divide it by three to get the actual and factual.”

  “That’s mad funny.” Robbie poured them another glass of sparkling apple cider.

  “Those men remind me of Bryce’s old boyfriend, George. Back in the days when she was sporting that weave.”

  “Your sister used to have a weave?”

  “Not just any ole weave, ’cause some of them look damn good. Bryce had a fucked-da-hell-up weave some chica put in her hair over at this place Weave Central. It looks more like a taco joint than a hair salon. They sell bean pies and tofu burgers up in there.”

  “Eww, damn, the smell of bean pies mixed with burning hair. Makes my stomach turn just thinking about it.”

  “Speaking of the Web,” Lucky said hesitantly. “There are some pics of Dean Mitchell fucking a goat all over the place.”

  “Damn.” Robbie chuckled. Then his mood changed at the mere mention of the dean’s name. Even though the dean had been fired after some videotape of him doing some vulgar, far-out shit was sent to the administration, they still avoided discussing the situation most of the time. “That was wild how he got found out. I wonder who fucked him so bad. One of the homies on campus was passing out flyers of him sucking some shemale’s dick. Did you see it?”

  “No, I missed that one,” Lucky lied, knowing good and damn well she had a ringside seat for the whole thing. “I’m just glad he left town for good.”

  “You and I both.” Robbie grabbed ahold of her trembling hand. “Enough of all that! It’s just you and me now, forever!”

  They began to kiss feverishly.

  “Lucky, just so you know, my love for you will last forever, so when your period comes on, let’s eat out all that week.”

  She gave him a love slap on his knee and they both started giggling. Ten minutes later, they made love on the balcony underneath the stars.

  Harmony arrived home after a sixteen-hour day at the temp agency, ready to grab a sandwich and then pass out. Zachary told her that he had a late meeting himself so she didn’t see any reason to plan anything fancy for dinner.

  To her astonishment, when she opened the front door and entered, the house was completely lit up with twelve-inch-pillar, vanilla-scented candles. Red roses were everywhere. Zachary came out of the kitchen and greeted her with a huge kiss.

  “Hey, Baby, let me take your coat.” He removed the blazer of her black business suit but didn’t stop there. He undressed her completely, then led her into the dining room, where he had the table set with a white linen tablecloth and elegant fine china.

  “What’s all this?” she asked with a big grin on her face. “I thought you had a meeting?”

  “I decided some things are more important than business. One thing in particular is more precious than anything on the face of this earth. Our love for one another.”

  He undressed also and then hand-fed her strawberries dipped in warm chocolate, lobster tails in butter sauce, and asparagus tips. He did it slowly, making sure to lap up any evidence of juice that trickled out of her mouth with his thick tongue.

  After dinner, he carried her upstairs and bathed her in their large garden tub, carefully making sure every inch of her was pampered. He laid her gently down on a bed of rose petals and made love to her, licking every part of her from head to toe.

  Afterward, she started to weep while they lay there in each other’s arms.

  “What’s wrong?” Zachary asked, pulling back the hair from her brow and kissing her on the forehead.

  “Nothing. It’s just that I’m going to miss this so much when I have to go away.”


  Tears immediately started to flow down Zachary’s cheek. “You don’t have to go anyplace, Harmony. There is a solution. You’re just afraid to seek it out.”

  Harmony looked up at him and kissed him on the lips. “I can’t do that to Bryce, or Lucky either for that matter. I’m on a list. Something will come through.”

  “Let’s hope so!”

  “I feel so bad about the fact that I’m sitting around waiting for someone else to die so that I might live.”

  “That’s the worse-case scenario, but it doesn’t have to be like that. As far as harming Bryce and Lucky, what in heaven’s name do you think your death is going to do to them? I can’t imagine living in a world without you and I know they can’t either. You’re the backbone of your whole family and the first one your sisters come running to when something goes wrong.”

  Harmony ran into the master bathroom and shut the door. She crouched over in pain and rambled through the medicine cabinet to find her pills. Zachary came in after her and drew her a glass of water from the spigot. He handed it to her. “I never thought I would be worried about such a thing, but I would give anything to have been born with another blood type. Your blood type.”

  “Even if you were, it wouldn’t make the slightest difference.” Harmony laid her head on his chest. “You probably wouldn’t match anyway and I definitely wouldn’t let you do it.”

  “Bryce would match,” he blurted out. “Please save yourself before this goes too far. I’m begging you.”

  “I can’t. I could never do that.” Harmony’s pain began to subside under the effect of the medication. “I’m tired. Can you just hold me while I’m sleeping?”

  “Do you even really need to ask?” Zachary carried her back to bed.

  22

  The Black Screw

  “Bryce and Colette, we’re over here!” Lucky was standing near the front of the long line with Fatima and Harmony. She waved for them so they could spot her easily.

  When Bryce and Colette boguarded their way into the line, some sistahs who were farther back started mumbling objections. Bryce turned around to give them her infamous you-must-be-asking-for-a-beatdown look and all objections ceased.