Hopeful

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  Her innocent comment broke his heart. Kaylene knew about families but not much at all about marriage. She was having to rely on her friends’ parents for her education. “That’s right,” he murmured. “Kindness is important in any relationship, but most especially in a marriage.”

  “Plus, when she helps me read, she goes real slowly and listens. She’s the best reading teacher I’ve ever had.”

  Her statement reminded him of the promise he’d made Levi. “You know what? What if we asked Miriam if she wouldn’t mind coming to the farm to help you read? Then you wouldn’t always have to stay after school for your lessons.”

  Kaylene’s eyes widened. “You’d do that?”

  “Of course I would, I’m your bruder.”

  “Junior, even though I’m not supposed to have favorites, you’re my favorite bruder.”

  “I’m glad.” He looked down at her, remembering when she was a tiny thing and he’d often carry her around the farm on his shoulders. “You’re my favorite sister. But don’t tell anyone that we have favorites. They might get bedrohwa, you know.”

  Solemnly she shook her head. “I won’t tell anyone.”

  Two hours later, when he and Kaylene were sitting with the rest of the family at dinner, he shared another smile with her. To say his family was loud and gregarious was an understatement. Three or four different conversations continually happened at the same time, each one punctuated with laughter or general teasing.

  Years ago his father had asked Robert Miller to build them a custom dining room table, big enough to hold all ten of them comfortably, and twelve to fourteen in a pinch.

  He remembered the first time they’d all sat at the large oak table, with the twin benches on either side and the handsomely carved chairs gracing each end. He’d been fifteen and Levi had been just a baby. Kaylene hadn’t even been thought of back then.

  But as he’d sat next to his father, with Beverly on his right and ten-year-old Micah across from him, he remembered thinking that probably no one else had a family like his. He’d been glad about that.

  Now that they were all full grown except for Kaylene, he felt even more assured about how they had all turned out. No, they weren’t perfect. They were far from that!

  But there was a life and an energy in his house that he’d never witnessed anywhere else. And though he wished their parents were there with them, Junior realized that he and his siblings had carried on fairly well, all things considered.

  Actually, he felt sorry for anyone who had to live by him- or herself.

  It was okay that some of their personalities meshed and some clashed. It was okay that sometimes they disagreed and lost their patience with each other.

  And it was okay that sometimes he felt as if he was the one who felt the burden of raising their little sister. Long ago, he had stopped wishing for things to be different.

  Wishes and doubts and regrets had no place in a family such as theirs, and especially not for a man as blessed as he.

  More than ever, he was thankful for his faith. For some reason known only to the Lord, He had decided to take their parents at a young age.

  He’d also like to imagine that that was why the good Lord had given them so many family members. They complemented each other in the best of ways. And Junior certainly never felt alone.

  Everyone else should be so lucky, he mused. Everyone else should be so blessed.

  But just as he was giving thanks for being able to find peace with his family situation, he realized that he really was ready to build his own family. Some of it was because Mary Kate had arrived in town and caught his fancy. For so long, he’d been waiting for love to hit him like a bolt of lightning. Striking him with the surety that he’d found the perfect woman.

  But now, he was starting to wonder if he’d wasted a lot of time simply overlooking what had been right in front of him all the while.

  As the rest of his siblings continued to talk, Junior let his thoughts turn back to the conversation he’d had with Kaylene. Thought about how he’d asked Mary Kate out to eat and that even though she’d accepted, how, ironically, he hadn’t felt all that excited about it.

  He thought about Kaylene’s statement about husbands and wives needing to be kind to each other.

  And he knew Miriam would be very kind to whoever she ended up marrying.

  “You okay down there, Junior?” Randall teased. “You’ve been awfully quiet.”

  Junior shook off his wayward thoughts with a grin. “You all have been talking so much I figured I’d just listen for a spell.”

  They all looked at him strangely but went back to debating Neil’s goat’s chances of placing in an upcoming stock show.

  And within minutes he was back to thinking about two very different women and how they’d fit in at this very important table.

  chapter twenty-one

  As usual, Miriam worked half a day on Saturday. Though she usually resented spending most of her Saturday at the restaurant, this time she was glad for the distraction. She needed to spend as much time as possible baking pies and serving meals to customers. Anything besides her current bad habit, thinking about Junior Beiler.

  Further confusing things was her growing attachment to his little sister. She truly enjoyed helping Kaylene learn to read. Of course, any opportunity to reread Little Women felt like a gift. When she was Kaylene’s age, she’d spent many an evening being swept away with the antics of Jo, Amy, Meg, and Beth.

  Miriam had been curious to see how Kaylene felt about the story since she was from such a large family. Since she’d been practically raised as an only child, Miriam had been fascinated with the idea of having three sisters. She’d been envious of the characters’ late-night chats and sharing of secrets.

  But to Miriam’s surprise, Kaylene had seemed unfamiliar with such things. It seemed she was a lot like Miriam—used to keeping her own company.

  Also surprising was Mary Kate’s lack of interest in the lessons. Miriam had imagined that Mary Kate would have been supervising, or maybe even taking notes while Kaylene read. But instead, she stayed in the classroom.

  She was still thinking about her friend’s behavior when Mary Kate walked into the restaurant.

  Miriam greeted her at the hostess desk. “Hi! I didn’t know you had plans to come visit today.”

  “I hadn’t planned on it, but I need to talk to you for a couple of minutes.”

  “I’m fairly busy right now. Is something wrong?”

  “It’s about Junior Beiler.”

  Her heart sank. Of course. The one person she didn’t want to talk about. “What about him?”

  “Well, I finally told him I’d go to supper with him.”

  “Here?”

  “Jah.” Mary Kate looked vaguely uncomfortable. “I told him I’d feel more comfortable here. Since you might be here, too.”

  Miriam struggled to keep looking pleasantly surprised. After all, Mary Kate had come here needing support. What kind of friend would she be if she didn’t give that to her? “Well, if I’m working, I’ll definitely keep a close eye on you both.”

  But of course, with all her heart, she hoped she would be off whatever night they came in.

  Trying to still be a supportive friend, she prodded Mary Kate for more information. “What made you change your mind?”

  Mary Kate sighed, looking worn down. “I think it might be a good experience. All I’ve been doing since I moved here is worrying about Will finding me and planning where to go next. But that’s no way to live.”

  Feeling a bit petty because she’d only been worrying about herself, Miriam nodded. “You’re right about that, Mary Kate.”

  “Besides, my mother wrote that she told Will where I was a few weeks ago. If he was that anxious to find me, he would’ve come to Sugarcreek by now. So, um, I’m starting to think I’ve been overreacting a bit.”

  “I see.”

  Mary Kate nodded. “So, I’m going to have supper with Junior. But while we’re eating,
I’m going to make sure he knows that I am glad for his friendship. But that is all I want.”

  Forgetting that she was supposed to be working, Miriam leaned closer to her friend. “Why would you tell him that?”

  “You know why. I don’t want to date anyone.”

  Happiness warred with guilt in her heart. “Well, I suppose you’ll just have to take things one step at a time.”

  The corners of Mary Katherine’s eyes crinkled. “I think you are right. Besides, we both know who should be courted by Junior Beiler. You two are perfect for each other.”

  Miriam was just about to protest, debating whether to tell her friend about Junior’s harsh words in the restaurant, when Mrs. Kent walked over. “Miriam, are you on break right now and I didn’t realize it?”

  “Uh, nee. Sorry. I’ll get back to work.” Picking up her coffeepot, she gave Mary Kate a little wave good-bye. “Thanks for telling me what’s going on.”

  “Anytime,” Mary Kate said with a genuine smile before she walked out the front door.

  After getting a fresh pot of kaffi, she started refilling customers’ coffee cups. All the while thinking that coming to work had not given her the respite from her problems that she’d been seeking.

  In a town this small, it seemed you could never get away from your life.

  Miriam brought a thick blanket and a thermos of hot chocolate for her reading lesson with Kaylene. This was now their fifth lesson and she’d been enjoying her time with the eight-year-old so much.

  Once she’d discovered that Kaylene was usually hungry and ready for an afternoon snack, Miriam had taken to bringing either a treat from the restaurant or preparing something from home. Today she had oatmeal scotchies.

  Her mother had boxed up the cookies for her that morning, making Miriam feel more than a little guilty. She still hadn’t found a way to tell her parents that she and Junior Beiler weren’t really courting.

  For the time being, Miriam was determined to enjoy each moment that she had with Kaylene. She was growing to really care about the little girl. She truly enjoyed spending time with her, and she enjoyed watching Kaylene learn to love reading, too.

  Today they’d read about Beth getting scarlet fever. Kaylene’s eyes had gotten as big as saucers as they’d read the part about the girls surrounding their sister and worrying about whether to send for their mother or not.

  “Do you think there really is such a thing as scarlet fever, Miriam?” Kaylene asked quietly.

  “Oh, jah. Not too many people get it anymore, though. And if they do, they go straight to the doktah for medicine.”

  “I hope I don’t get it.”

  “I hope so, too. But since we don’t have much scarlet fever going around Sugarcreek, I think you’re safe enough.”

  “My mamm and daed died, you know.”

  “I know. And I’m sorry about that.” Miriam reached over and squeezed the little girl’s hand.

  “Neither of them had scarlet fever. But they still died.”

  “We never know what God plans for us, do we?”

  Kaylene shrugged. “Junior says our parents went to heaven early because they knew they had eight children to look after each other.”

  “You have a wonderful family, that’s true. A lot of people would love to have so many brothers and sisters.”

  “Sometimes I wish I had a sister closer to my age, though.”

  “We all want things we don’t have, Kay.” Hoping to lighten the mood, Miriam fingered one of her dark curls that had sprung out of her kapp. “I have always longed for straight hair, for instance.”

  “I want bright blue eyes like yours.”

  “You do? I think your brown ones are pretty.”

  “Junior said your eyes are really blue. And that he thinks they’re pretty.”

  Feeling her cheeks heat, Miriam sputtered a reply. “My goodness. That was sweet of him to say.”

  “He talks about you a lot, Miriam. I think he likes you.”

  Miriam scoffed. Junior’s little sister had no idea how he really felt. “We . . . We are friends.”

  Kaylene studied her for a moment, then put her finger on the next paragraph and slowly read. Each word was sounded out with effort, but the pace was far quicker than it had been when they’d begun.

  Miriam practically held her breath as Kaylene struggled but otherwise kept silent. She’d learned that being patient was a valuable thing with Kaylene. If she felt she had time to try her best, she read much more fluidly.

  At last Kaylene finished the long paragraph. When she finished, she beamed. “I did it!”

  “Indeed you did, dear. Good job! You know what, Kaylene? I think your reading is getting better every day we’re together.”

  “Do you really think so?” Kaylene’s voice sounded doubtful, but proud, too.

  Miriam nodded, maybe even a bit too exuberantly. But she was as pleased as punch about her little student’s progress. And, she realized, her efforts as a reading tutor. She’d been full of doubts about herself, but from the very first, she’d been able to sense what Kaylene truly needed . . . which was help believing in herself.

  As Kaylene’s confidence grew, Miriam thought that her reading ability and comprehension were improving, too.

  Miriam chuckled. “I think we make a gut team, you and I.”

  Kaylene laughed. “You’re funny, Miriam. And so nice, too.”

  “I think the same thing about you,” she said, just as she saw Junior approach out of the corner of her eye. “But now I think it’s time we said good-bye for the day. Your brother Junior has arrived. Once again he’s here, right on time.”

  Kaylene swiveled her body and gave a little wave. “Hi, Junior.”

  After glancing at them for a good long minute, Junior knelt down on the blanket. “Hi, there, sister. How is the reading lesson going today?”

  “Miriam says I’m doing better. And that you always get here right on time.”

  Junior winked. “Some of us hate being late,” he teased.

  Miriam laughed. “I guess Kaylene’s told you that I’m always about five minutes tardy?”

  “Uh-huh. So . . . things are going good with the reading today?”

  “Really good. I have to say that we’ve made wonderful-gut progress since we’ve begun these lessons. Kaylene is going to be able to read just about everything before we know it.”

  “That’s good news. Right, Kay?”

  Little Kaylene nodded. “When are we going to meet again?”

  “It can’t be next Tuesday,” Miriam said reluctantly. “One of the ladies I work with is going on vacation so I am picking up her hours. But I can help you next Wednesday or Thursday.”

  Kaylene pulled on Junior’s shirt. “Junior, did you ask her yet?”

  “Oops, I had almost forgotten.”

  Miriam looked from one to the other. “Ask me what?” Junior looked a little sheepish. “Actually, Kaylene and I have been talking and we’re hoping that you could come out to the farm next time you tutor her.”

  “You want me to come to your house?”

  “Jah. It’s not too much farther than the schoolhouse. See, if you come over, then Kaylene can simply go home right after school.”

  “Then everyone won’t know I’m stayin’ after to learn to read better,” Kaylene filled in.

  Miriam had never thought about that. “I bet that can be hard, huh? Everyone knowing that you need help.”

  “Some kids tease me,” Kaylene said quietly. “But it would be real fun if you came over, too. Would you come over, Miriam? Please?”

  “Of course I will.” She thought quickly. “How about this? I’ll stop by around four o’clock next Thursday. That way you’ll have had some time to get home and have a snack.”

  Kaylene was all smiles. “Okay.”

  “After you two read, you’ll have to stay with us for supper,” Junior said.

  “That isn’t necessary.”

  “Sure it is. I don’t want you to go home without
supper. Plus, I know everyone is going to want you to stay. Right, Kaylene?”

  “Oh, jah. Then you can even see Neil’s baby goat.”

  Despite her vow to stay away from Junior, Miriam’s heart was pulled in by the little girl. “Okay. I’ll see you all next Thursday at your house at four.”

  Junior smiled. “Great. Listen, Kay, help Miriam clean up. I’ve got to go check in with Mary Kate real fast.”

  Miriam tried to avert her gaze, busying herself with folding up the blanket. But she could feel Junior’s eyes on her. She turned around. “Did you need something?”

  Junior looked sheepish. “Well, I just thought I’d let you know that, see, um, Mary Kate and I are finally going out to supper.”

  It took a lot of effort, but she did her best to remain aloof. She felt his gaze drift across her face, as if he were searching for signs of her feelings.

  “That’s great. I hope you both have a good time,” she murmured.

  “Danke. I’m sure we will.”

  When he walked away, Kaylene wrinkled her nose. “I wish he wasn’t going to take my teacher out to supper.”

  Miriam smiled sympathetically at the girl but didn’t say a word.

  After all, she couldn’t help it, but she was thinking the very same thing.

  chapter twenty-two

  Their appearance together at the Sugarcreek Inn caused quite a stir. More than one man gave him a wink as he helped Mary Kate down from the buggy and escorted her through the parking lot.

  Junior pretended he couldn’t care less about all the curious glances cast their way, but it was obvious that Mary Kate didn’t like the attention.

  Once again his protective instincts came to life and he gently took her arm. “No one means any harm,” he murmured as they walked through the front door. “Folks just like to talk, you know.”

  “I know.” But she still seemed more than a little perturbed.

  He tried to pat her arm reassuringly. “Don’t forget, we’re only here as friends. I don’t expect anything more.”