Holding On To Heaven

by Melyssa Winchester

  Chapter Five

  Serenity

  “Psychology is an academic and applied discipline that involves the study of mental functions and behaviors in a scientific capacity. It has the immediate goal of understanding groups and individuals by establishing general principles and through researching specific cases. By all accounts it ultimately aims to be a benefit to—”

  Hearing a sound and looking up, the professors’ voice fading out, I watch as two students made their way into the room, the door slamming behind them. It took me a minute to realize who was standing at the front of the room. It’s not often that my best friend went unnoticed, but this time she had because it hadn’t clicked in.

  “It is so nice of you to honor us with your presence, Ms. Daniels. Class starts promptly at 2:15.”

  “I know, Professor French but I actually have a reason for being late this time.”

  “I assume it has something to do with the young man standing to your right?” he asks with a raise of his brow. Strong powers of observation ran through that one, I could tell.

  “Yes sir. The Dean requested that since Ryan here has this class same as I do, I show him the way.”

  “Oh yes! You’re the transfer student I was informed about. Ryan McGregor, is that correct?”

  “Yes sir.”

  “Well take your seats, both of you, and Ms. Daniels; make sure that you're here earlier tomorrow. It would be ideal if you were on time, if not a little earlier.  I would hate to have to write you up for your tardiness.”

  Emma immediately turned toward me, making her way to the back, turning back only once to motion for Ryan to follow before finally reaching where I was seated. I lowered my head as she passed me, her late entry causing all attention in the room to turn in my direction. The last thing I wanted to deal with given the way my day has already been going.

  Pointing to the empty seat on my left, Emma threw her body into the seat behind me, the grin on her face as she did alerting me to the fact that the wheels in her brain were turning. She was planning something and I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to know what. If it had anything to do with being social to the new guy, I was most definitely out. I had more than enough guy troubles just with the one in my head. I didn't need to business with any more.

  “So, what did we miss?” Emma whispered with a small tap of her pen on my shoulder.

  “Not much. He was just breaking down one of aspects we'll be studying over the next couple weeks.”

  “So I could’ve just stayed in bed?” the new guy interjected, causing me to look over at him. Meeting his eyes, I had no other choice but to take him in. Where I’d only gotten a small glimpse when entered the room and again as he’d taken the walk of lame on his way to his seat, now I’m being confronted with the entire package.

  From what I had seen at the front, he was tall, but not unusually so. Given the size of the rest of the guys in the room, he was about average.  His hair was on the darker side of brown, almost bordering on black and it was side parted resting just a little above his shoulders. It reminded me of the lead singer of 30 Seconds To Mars. It’s a look that in that last couple of years, I'd seen a lot more guys emulating.

  The side of his face showed three individual piercings in his ear, which then led me to the rings that curled around the left and right side of his bottom lip. Snake bites, that’s what they’re called. They’d been popular with a lot of the guys in Green Haven before I moved.

   Not wanting to spend too much time focusing on his mouth, I looked up and was met again with the clearest set of blue eyes I’ve ever seen. If it hadn't been for the sliver of black that seemed to border them I couldn’t be sure they were blue at all. They look cloudy white.

  When he cleared his throat, I pulled away from my dissection and immediately turned away. The last thing I needed is to be caught ogling a guy I didn't even know.

  “Ryan McGregor.” he said, bringing his hand out in front of him and despite my best attempt not to look, I found my eyes drawn to it. If his face had gotten to me, looking at the smoothness of his skin threw me completely off balance. As I stared at his hand, still out in front of him, I see what looks like the end of a tattoo peeking out just under the sleeve of his shirt.

  Yeah, he's totally got to be a musician.

  “Well look here! I think I’ve died and gone to Heaven.”

  Mentally shaking myself in an attempt to block out the unwanted voice, I place my hand into his, shaking it, ignoring the tingle that began the instant our hands met. It’s only when I looked down at my arm that I saw how far reaching the reaction had been. The faintest trace of goose bumps were beginning to form.

  “Serenity Richards.”

  “It's very nice to meet you, Serenity.”

  Pulling my hand from his, I turned my focus back on the professor, who was still in the midst of his speech.

  I couldn't explain my reaction to Ryan and to be honest, it bothered me and not just because I’m limited socially. No, this was something different and I don't like the way it makes me feel. Other than the times when the voices in my head overload me, I’m always able to remain in control of my emotions and more than that, my reactions in any given situation. I didn't seem able to do that with Ryan and it freaks me out. Just what the hell is going on with me?

  Emma tapped me again, this time sliding a paper up and over my shoulder until it fell on the middle of my desk. Putting my reaction to Ryan in the back of my mind, I picked it up and opened it as quietly as I could manage. Without even reading it I knew what it would say. I was beginning to feel like I was back in middle school again. Two girls whispering about the new boy in class. Given what’s written on the paper, it wasn't much of a stretch. Only Emma could get away with writing something like this.

  Is he cute or what?!!!!

  I smiled to myself as I gauged the level of her excitement based on the exclamations on the page, covering my mouth with my hand as I felt a small laugh break through. Yes, I most definitely feel like I’m back in middle school.

  “Hmm.”

  Looking up, I find Ryan staring at me, a smirk on his face.

  “What?” I whisper, folding the note over in my hands while my eyes remain locked on his.

  “Oh it's nothing.  I'm just really glad I didn't stay home today.” He turned away, his attention falling back on the front of the room, leaving me alone to ponder just what he meant.

  Did he just flirt with me?

   Unfolding the paper again, I wrote back, determined to play along with her if it meant not focusing on the guy that was far too close for my comfort.

  Yeah I guess. Have fun with him.

  Passing the note back, I followed instructions as the professor asked us to turn to a spot in the course book. Leaning in as close as possible I began reading, forcing my eyes to stay where they were and not turn towards the strange new guy next to me. With the way the goose bumps were now covering my arms, I knew there was something off about him. Something I wasn't sure I wanted to find out.

  Whatever the pull is, I can't react to it. Its better that I leave this guy and his rock star looks to Emma. She’s much better equipped to deal with him and the strange reactions he manages to evoke. Though I have to admit, I was more than a little curious as to why my hand still managed to tingle minutes after we touched.

  Just who is Ryan McGregor and why is my body almost under attack in reaction to him?

  Gabriel

  Serenity is right to question her reaction to the new student. I could feel it as well, but could not quite make out exactly what it was about him. As it is right now, watching the two of them interact, I feel most unsettled. There is most definitely something off about this Ryan McGregor, but until I had more time to investigate, I knew I couldn't voice my concerns. Not to Father and most definitely not to Serenity.

  When she cut me off earlier, not giving me time to explain the way I wanted to, it bothered me in a way I was unaccustomed to. I am not programmed the
same way as the humans. To feel things, yet that is exactly what happened. Maybe it was as Father said and it is just an effect of being surrounded by them for so long. Whatever the reason, I do not enjoy it.

  I am such a benefit to Heaven because of my ability to not make attachments. Yes, I questioned things and I pushed boundaries, but I am always able to remain detached no matter the situation I found myself in. With Serenity, it was entirely different. I am finding it difficult not to react.

  Could it be her power? Could that be what seems to call to me, changing me, making me appear almost human?

  Her energy is powerful. More powerful than anything I had ever had the opportunity to come in contact with. At least anything of the human variety. Being around it for a prolonged period of time the way I have been could be changing me, causing me to adapt more to her way of life then my own.

  Whatever the reason, I knew that it was only a matter of time before it affected the job I was sent here to do. It was already presenting that way and the last thing I needed is for it to become worse and result in me being sent away permanently. If it is her power than anyone sent down in my place would be put in the same position.

  No. I couldn't let whatever is happening with me interfere with the job at hand. Father is right. I had to keep my head and focus on the end result. Given that she did not want to hear from me anymore, I had my out. I could remain in the background safely and not risk becoming more attached then I already was to her. I could protect us both that way. It is what I needed to do.

  It just isn't something I want to do. Not with the fire burning inside me watching her struggle not to react to Ryan McGregor. I had to get out in front of this soon otherwise I knew I would slip up and that is something I cannot afford.

  I could not allow myself to become human.

  “You must not let her become closer with Ryan or you will lose her forever. Focus on the burning, it is trying to tell you everything you need to know. Embrace the fire brother.”