How To Throw Your Life Away

by Laurie Ellingham

  ‘Morning sleepy head,’ Katy said, placing a tray of toast and a glass of fresh orange on the table next to Adam’s side of the bed.

  ‘Mmmm,’ sounded from under the covers.

  Katy had a sudden urge to turn and walk away. She’d already wasted ten minutes, stood with the tray in her hands, watching Adam sleep whilst she decided whether to bother waking him.

  Must try harder, she reminded herself before calling his name again.

  ‘What time is it?’ Adam’s muffled voice asked from under the covers.

  ‘Just gone seven.’

  ‘Mmm.’

  ‘I’ve made you some breakfast.’

  Silence.

  ‘Adam?’

  ‘Mmm.’

  ‘I’m sorry about last night. I must have fallen asleep the second my head had touched the pillow.’

  Silence.

  ‘Adam?’

  Two hands shot out from the covers and pulled Katy towards the bed.

  ‘Ah, Adam, what are doing?’ she said.

  ‘Maybe if you didn’t get up so early you wouldn’t fall asleep so fast,’ he said in a voice still croaky with sleep.

  Adam lifted the covers over their heads and pulled Katy closer to him. The taste of metal filled her mouth as if she’d been sucking on a two pence coin.

  ‘I’ve got to go to work,’ she said, forcing a smile. ‘I promise I won’t be tired later.’

  ‘You don’t seem tired now.’ Adam kissed her neck, sending thoughts of Tom crashing through her.

  ‘Yes, but now I’m running late.’

  ‘How can you be running late when it’s so early?’

  ‘Because I still have lots of jobs to catch up on from the weekend, and Mary is due back later today so I need to get it done before she arrives.’

  Katy started to unravel herself from the covers. ‘Later okay?’

  ‘But I won’t be here later,’ he said, resisting her attempts to wriggle free.

  ‘Won’t you?’ She fought off the claustrophobe building inside of her.

  ‘I was going to tell you last night, but you fell asleep before I could. I’m going back to my mum’s today. I’ve got those other job interviews to prepare for, and I want to be close by in case I get invited back for a second interview for the other place in Richmond.’

  ‘Oh. When will you be back?’

  ‘The weekend I guess. I can come hang out with you at Green Fingers.’

  ‘Green Tips,’ Katy corrected. ‘It’s manic at the weekend.’

  ‘Oh, okay then I won’t do that,’ Adam said, frowning at her.

  ‘Why don’t I see if I can finish early on Sunday? We could spend the afternoon together. Hire a boat somewhere.’

  ‘That’s more like it,’ Adam smiled, kissing Katy on the lips.

  ‘I’d better go,’ she said.

  ‘Do you really have to?’

  ‘Yes,’ she smiled, throwing back the covers and pushing herself off the bed. ‘Besides your toast will be cold.’

  Katy ran her fingers through her hair and stepped towards the door.

  ‘See you Sunday then,’ Adam said, before taking a bite of toast. ‘Love you soon-to-be Mrs Cartright,’ he added with a mouth full of food.

  Katy stopped moving as if she’d walked into quick drying cement. She needed to respond, but the words seemed caught in her throat. Instead she turned towards him and blew him a kiss before heading out the door.

  CHAPTER 28

  Friday

  ‘Is that everything, Steve?’ Katy asked, surveying the long flat bed of the delivery lorry and the four square crates now sat on the gravel in Green Tips car park.

  ‘Almost,’ came the heavy welsh accent of the delivery driver from the top of the flat bed. ‘Just this one to unload.’

  Katy sighed and rubbed her forehead. She’d ordered too much. Mary had left her in charge and what did she do? She’d ordered a hoard of new items on top of the usual, that’s what. Mugo pines, an entire crate of red, yellow and lilac heather, not to mention a dozen Buxos balls.

  ‘No Mary today? Hope she’s not come down with something,’ Steve said, jumping from the flat bed onto the ground, and causing his large belly to wobble underneath the tight red t-shirt of his uniform.

  He picked up the large remote that controlled the winch and began manoeuvring the final crate onto the gravel.

  ‘Yes, she’s fine. She’s just taken a holiday, but she’ll be back this afternoon. Although I’m not sure she’ll ever go away again after she sees this lot,’ Katy said, more to herself than to Steve.

  What started as a weekend away extended day by day into a full week. The last time Mary had called, she’d booked a seat on Friday afternoon's train and would be back in time for a quick handover before closing. Katy hoped it would be quick. Claire had finally arrived home from her holiday and had the evening free to catch up with Katy. And what a catch up it would be.

  ‘I’m sure she’ll just be glad to have someone she can rely on,’ Steve said.

  ‘Let’s hope so, or she might change her mind about the sale.’

  ‘Sale? Don’t tell me Mary is selling Green Tips?’

  ‘I hope so, as I’m the one that’s buying it.’

  Steve’s head spun towards Katy. ‘I’m not being funny, but that’s proper good news.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  ‘Are you serious?’

  ‘Yep,’ Katy replied, a grin spreading across her face.

  ‘Good for you, love. About time Mary hung up her apron, hey?’ he said as he set the final crate to the ground and unhooked the chain.

  ‘Will you be alright moving these?’

  ‘Did you ask Mary that when it was just her?’

  ‘Every week,’ Steve laughed.

  ‘And what did she say?’

  ‘She said "be off with you,"’ he said, mimicking Mary’s voice.

  ‘Well then,’ Katy smiled. ‘See you next week.’

  As Steve’s delivery lorry pulled out of the car park Katy dragged the long flat trolley, bumping and jiggling, across the gravel and positioned it next to the first crate. She grabbed the small knife in her apron and started cutting away the white plastic strips that held the items in place.

  Katy checked the time on her phone and took a sharp intake of breath. 8.28am.

  On the days she’d helped Mary unpack the deliveries, they’d managed to get everything out of the way by opening time.

  Now she had less time, less hands to help, and more crates to unload.

  Fifteen minutes later Katy lugged the first empty wooden crate over to the corner of the car park. As she dropped it to the ground she felt a sharp pain in her finger.

  ‘Ouch,’ Katy said, as she examined the jagged flap of skin on the middle finger of her left hand.

  The diamond on the engagement ring had slipped around again, and had dug into her finger as she’d gripped the crate. A wave of annoyance crashed through her.

  Without thinking, Katy wriggled the ring free from her finger and slipped it into the pocket of her apron, before striding towards the main building. Just what she needed - to spend precious time rooting around the back of the kitchen cupboards for the first aid tin.

  It took a second for her eyes to adjust from the bright daylight to the relative gloom of the main building as she pushed through the exit door nearest to the kitchen. Then another second to register that something wasn’t right. Another step forward and another second to see the outline of man standing beside the counter only a metre away from her.

  She gasped.

  ‘Who the fuck are you?’ the man said as he moved his hand, and whatever was in it, away from the counter, hiding it behind his back.

  ‘Jonny,’ Katy said, recognising Mary’s son despite the fact that his eyes seemed to have sunk further into his skull since she’d last seen him. She guessed by the grease shining in his hair, and the angry red spots on his face, that he hadn’t seen water or soap since his last visit.

  ‘How do you
know my name? Where's my mum?’ he sniffed.

  ‘She’s away. She’s staying with your sister, Julie.’

  ‘No she’s not. She never goes away.’

  ‘Well she is.’

  Katy slipped her hands, in what she hoped was a casual fashion, into the front pocket of her apron and used her index finger to unlock her phone. Then she realised the problem with a touch screen - she couldn’t feel where the numbers were, and therefore couldn’t dial 999 without looking at the display, and she couldn’t look at the screen without alerting Jonny to what she was doing.

  ‘You can just get my money for me then,’ Jonny said, lurching closer to Katy.

  ‘What money?’ she replied in a tone she hoped sounded casual. A tone she hoped masked the growing sense of panic welling up inside of her as she inched backwards.

  She’d seen what Jonny could do to his own mother. She doubted he’d be any different with a stranger.

  ‘Hang on, I know you,’ he growled. ‘You’re the bitch who pushed me over last time I was here.’

  Katy took another slow step back towards the door, and moved the hand in the pocket of her apron from her phone to the small cutting knife.

  ‘I need some cash right now. Mum always gives me some out of the till.’

  ‘I’d like to help you, Jonny, but like I said, Mary’s not here right now, and I can’t give you any money.’

  ‘Fuck you can’t, this ain’t your place.’

  Katy could feel the situation slipping out of control. She was in trouble. A voice inside of Katy yelled at her to throw the keys for the till at him and race out the doors, but she didn’t. She wouldn’t.

  ’Not yet it isn’t,’ she said instead, ‘but it will be soon, and you’ll never get a penny out of me.’

  Katy watched the expression on Jonny’s face darken as his upper lip curled up.

  She tried to take in a long gulp of air but her breathing felt shaky and ragged. ‘I have a sandwich in the kitchen you can have, and then you need to leave.’

  ‘A sandwich? Do I look like I want a fucking sandwich?’ Jonny laughed a hollow howl like noise revealing a mouth only half full with teeth.

  ‘I’m not leaving here until I get some money.’ Jonny shifted his body revealing a rusty black handled screwdriver gripped in his hand.

  He raised his arm and set his glassy gaze on Katy. ‘One way or another. So come and stop me, bitch. I’m ready for you this time.’

  The sound of her own heartbeat roared in her ears. She could no longer distinguish one beat from another as adrenaline and fear pounded through her.

  ‘I don’t want any trouble,’ Katy said in a shaky voice. ‘If you leave now I won’t call the police.’

  ‘When I’m done you won’t be calling anyone,’ Jonny snarled.

  ‘She won’t have to,’ a voice said from behind Katy.

  She turned to the sound as relief washed over her. Tom was standing a few paces behind her.

  ‘Because I’ve already called them,’ he said. ‘In fact they are still on the line.’ He held up his phone and moved to beside Katy.

  As if on cue the sound of sirens echoed outside.

  Panic crossed Jonny’s face, causing the bones of his skull to protrude outwards as if the skin covering it was as thin as tracing paper.

  His grip on the screwdriver tightened as he waved it towards Tom and Katy.

  ‘Take a moment to think about your next move here, Jonny,’ Tom’s clear voice said over the noise growing outside. ‘Right now you’ve not threatened us, has he Katy?’

  Katy stared at Tom. If this wasn‘t a threat then what was? Then she realised what he was doing and shook her head from side to side.

  ‘This could all be a misunderstanding we can clear up with the officers that will be coming through that door any second.’

  Jonny’s gaze flitted between Tom and Katy.

  ‘But if you take another step towards us, if you try to hurt us, then there’s nothing I can do to help you. You will be in a whole world of trouble, and you won’t be seeing daylight or a fix again for a long time.’

  The realisation of Tom’s words seemed to sink in somewhere in Jonny’s head, and the glassy vacant look in his eyes cleared for a moment.

  Jonny glared at Katy one last time before spinning around and running towards the other end of the building. A loud clanging noise echoed in the building as he threw the screwdriver across the floor.

  ‘The other door is locked,’ Katy said to Tom in a low voice.

  ‘Good,’ Tom replied as four police officers burst in through the doors behind Katy and Tom. The first two, a man and a woman, ran straight past Katy, their heavy black shoes pounding on the floor as they ran towards Jonny who was now throwing himself, without success, against the locked entrance doors.

  CHAPTER 29

  What were the chances? Katy couldn’t help but wonder as the short frame of PC Donavan guided her to the sofa in the kitchen, like a zoo keeper guiding a giraffe. What were the chances it would be these two police officers that came to their rescue? she asked herself again as Sergeant Mackenzie drew up a chair opposite the sofa and told them not to worry about Jonny’s screaming threats as he was escorted, or from what Katy could see, dragged, from the building and taken to the police station.

  The fatherly tone she remembered so well was full of concern instead of disappointment. It was no longer stern or harsh, but kind and encouraging as he asked Katy and Tom to explain what had happened.

  PC Donavon’s sniggering smiles had been replaced with cups of tea and the occasional understanding nod.

  Their change of demeanour did nothing to quell the flames of embarrassment from burning in her cheeks as she described the scene that had unfolded minutes earlier, and tried to ignore the memories of the last time they’d met from taking over her head.

  ‘...and that’s when Tom came in,’ she said, turning her head to look at him.

  His clear blue eyes gazed back into to hers sending a shot of warmth through her.

  He slid his hand across the space between them until their fingers touched, transferring a current of energy from his body into hers. Katy pulled it away and glanced at Sergeant Mackenzie, but his face betrayed nothing.

  She felt the sudden hurt resonate from Tom’s body and wished she could explain that it wasn’t him. It wasn’t his touch she didn’t want, but the probing questions from the police officer when he asked in a moments time who Tom was, and how did they know each other.

  She was pretty sure that the experienced police officer would not be pleased to learn that she’d developed a relationship with the anger management counsellor he’d sent her to.

  ‘The minute I saw what was happening inside the building I called you guys, before coming in to help Katy,’ Tom said. ‘When he heard the sirens Jonny tried to escape out of the other doors. I think he threw the screwdriver somewhere because I heard it bang against a wall, or against something anyway.’

  ‘I heard it too,’ Katy nodded.

  ‘I’ll let them know,’ PC Donavan said, leaving the small kitchen room as Tom told his side of the story.

  Katy stared at the side of Tom’s face. His eyes now fixed on Sergeant Mackenzie as if Katy was no longer sat beside him.

  ‘That about wraps things up then,’ Sergeant Mackenzie said, moving his head from Tom to Katy. ‘I will need you both to come down to the station in the next few days and give a formal witness statement. The sooner the better, please.’

  ‘What is Mary going to say?’ Katy flicked her eyes between Tom and the police officer. ‘She’ll be devastated when she finds out Jonny has been arrested, and it’s all my fault.’

  ‘Who is Mary?’ Sergeant Mackenzie wrote something in his notebook.

  ‘She’s the owner of Green Tips, and Jonny’s mother,’ Katy said as a panic took hold of her body. I should have just given him some money. It’s Mary’s money. I...I don’t know what I was thinking.’

  ‘You did exactly the right thing, Miss
Davenport,’ Sergeant Mackenzie said. ‘Mr Eldridge, or Jonny as you know him, has been on our radar for quite some time for minor disturbances, and he would have crossed the line at some point, I can promise you that. If you’d have given him money today he would have been back tomorrow, or the day after that. He would have demanded more each time. If Tom hadn’t called the police, he would have gone to another shop, or a home, looking for cash, or things he can sell to get cash.

  ‘We see this type of escalation all too often, but the unfortunate reality is that's not a police matter until they commit a criminal offence, like Mr Eldridge did this morning, and now we can step in and hopefully he will sign up for one of the drug rehabilitation programmes offered within the judicial system.

  Sergeant Mackenzie sighed before standing up and tucking his notebook into his breast pocket. ‘We work closely with the local charities where we can, but even when they’re standing in front of the judge many heroin addicts choose prison over a drug rehabilitation programme because they know they’ll be given a prescription of methadone in prison and won’t have to go drug free.’

  ‘I find it hard to believe that there even is a drug problem in Henley. It’s just a small town,’ Katy said.

  ‘Henley has lower than average statistics for drug-related crimes, but unfortunately drug addiction, as with all addictions, can hit anyone in any walk of life. So it doesn’t matter where you live.’

  A police technician in white coveralls appeared in the door way and signalled the thumbs up to Sergeant Mackenzie.

  ‘Looks like the crime scene guys are finished so we’ll be on our way in a moment. As I said, we will need you both to come down to the station and give individual witness statements. You may also then be asked to appear in court a little further down the line.’

  Sergeant Mackenzie pulled out two business cards from a pocket in his padded police waistcoat, and handed them to Katy and Tom. ‘My contact details are on the card. If you can call me when you have a time in mind to give your statements, that would be most helpful.

  ‘Here is a leaflet about witnessing a crime which I urge you to read through as it will explain the next steps, and has contact details on the back for victim support workers should you feel you need to talk to someone.’