Wanted

by Annika James

  Cora was still looking around, lamenting, “He hasn’t been here in forever.”

  “Has it really been so long since we all hung out?” I mused.

  She started toward the stairs with the ice cream. “Where have you been? You really haven’t noticed?” she shot at me over her shoulder.

  Of course I’d noticed. Noticed that Matt had been spending less and less time with us lately. I figured it was just a phase. Was there more to his absence than I’d thought?

  I sat on the couch and snuggled under the blanket. Idly watching the TV, I wondered what Matt would have to say. I sat on the short part of the couch, facing the loveseat across the large, low coffee table. Behind the loveseat the basement stretched on, the next room held the pool table and there was the patio door. I stared through the darkness of the next room, anxiety building.

  It was just Matt, I reminded myself. Why was I so nervous? My hand moved to my own pulled-up hair, and I resisted the urge to take it down. Why was I being so silly? I didn’t think Matt was a hottie. He was cute, but so much like my brother, I could never see him any other way, despite what Conor had claimed earlier tonight.

  I saw Matt appear behind the glass door and I forgot about my hair. Cora came down the stairs, and I turned to tell her Matt was here. She stopped, her face registered shock.

  “What?” I followed her wide-eyed stare. My breath caught. Matt had walked inside. He wasn’t alone. As they walked into the lighted room where we stood, I wished I’d fixed my hair. Matt had brought Conor.

  Chapter Five

  “Holy crap, Matthew!” Cora exclaimed, coming to me and sitting protectively by my side. The boys stopped behind the loveseat, unsure now. I pulled the blanket tighter around me, feeling naked, exposed in my boxer shorts and tank top.

  “Sorry,” Matt said. “I thought Conor could answer your questions better than I could. It’s kind of complicated.” Matt’s gaze raked my face, checking to see if I was angry. I wasn’t, I was surprised, and to my chagrin, pleasantly surprised. I liked seeing Conor, as much as I hated to admit it. Although I looked horrible.

  “You look fine,” Matt said, coming around the loveseat to sit across from us. Conor followed, he still hadn’t said anything.

  I gave Matt an irritated look. “Get out of my head.” He couldn’t read my mind all the time. Just when neither of us was paying attention. We figured the connection had formed when he gave me his blood to save my life the night I’d been bitten.

  “I’m not. You’re getting stronger, Ash. You projected to me. That’s part of why we’re both here.”

  What the hell was he talking about? Projecting? And what did it have to do with Conor?

  Okay, one problem at a time. I wanted my original questions answered, and then I could move on to new ones. I consciously checked to see if I was blocking my thoughts. Yep, blocks were solid. I hesitated. How could I ask Matt about him telling Conor when Conor was sitting right there, in all his hotness, gazing at me with a strange intensity in his eyes and a half-grin? My heart pounded.

  I cleared my throat and shifted, sitting straighter. The blanket fell to my lap, exposing my upper body. Conor’s gaze went immediately to my exposed throat and I sucked in a breath, which made Cora look at Conor.

  “Hey, fang boy, back down.” She went to the closet and returned with a sweatshirt, which she handed me. Conor pulled his focus off me and looked at Matt, who hung his head, defeated. I pulled the sweatshirt on. It didn’t completely cover my neck, but it helped.

  “Ash, we kind of have a problem,” Matt said, leaning forward, bracing his forearms on his thighs.

  My stomach clenched. “What?” It came out in a whisper.

  “Your power. It’s strong,” he said.

  I shrugged. “I’m almost eighteen. Mom said it would get stronger until then.”

  He looked away briefly.

  Cora threaded her arms around one of mine, holding me protectively. “Get to the point, Matthew,” she told him harshly. I loved that she kept calling him Matthew.

  He ran a hand through his hair and looked at Conor again, who gave a slight nod. Matt turned back to me. “Yeah,” he said roughly. “But it holds a certain appeal to some of us.”

  “Us?” I inquired.

  “Vampires,” Conor spoke for the first time. His low and seductive voice brought me back to the library when he’d told me to read. I shivered.

  “What kind of appeal?” Cora broke in. I felt small and vulnerable, again realizing all my friends were vamps. My power appealed to them? Matt and Cora had never said anything before.

  “It calls,” Conor said softly. “It’s…alluring.”

  I looked at Matt. “Matt, you’ve never said anything. Is it like that for you?”

  He wouldn’t meet my eye, shaking his head.

  Cora spoke what I had been wondering. “So when you say ‘us’ you mean…”

  “He means me, mostly,” Conor cut her off, reaffirming what we’d all been thinking.

  I gave a short bark of laughter. “What?” I asked sarcastically. “So, you’re a chocoholic and I’m a chocolate bar?”

  Conor’s face twisted in disgust. “Please don’t trivialize it. Yes, you seem to be irresistible to me. I can feel your power, almost taste it, and I want it. I can restrain myself—if restraint is needed.” Matt cleared his throat. Conor’s gaze moved to his friend then back to me. “Which it is,” he added with a small grin.

  I shifted, clenching the blanket in my fists, as this all sunk in. “So, in the hallway, and at your house, you don’t want me to just be a donor. You want my…power?” I was incredulous, and could feel my face growing hotter. Which was worse? Using me for blood? Or my power?

  “I told you she’d get mad,” Matt mumbled.

  I stood, letting the blanket fall to the floor. I watched both boys’ gazes drift down my bare legs and back up to my face. I rolled my eyes. Boys!

  “Matt, how long have you known this?”

  “Since this morning,” he replied, meeting my angry glare. “Sit, Ash. Let me explain.”

  I obeyed, reluctantly, sitting on the edge of the couch. My anger receded a little with the promise of an explanation, finally.

  Matt rubbed a hand over his face. “Okay. I called Conor this morning to ask him what he’d been playing at in the hallway the other day. I wanted to know what to expect at the party. He…” Matt looked at Conor, who was looking at me. Conor nodded for Matt to continue. “He said your power was suddenly there, in the hallway, calling to him. He’d never really noticed it before, until you walked into him. He got closer to double check and…”

  “I wanted you,” Conor finished simply.

  I looked at him sharply. “You wanted my power,” I corrected.

  So that was it. He had a taste of my power in the hallway and wanted more in the library. He must have loved it when I used my power to throw him across the room, further proving to him how strong I was.

  The boy raised a shoulder like it was nothing. “Your power is you.”

  I shook my head at him. “It’s not the same thing. You don’t actually like me.” My dumb voice broke a little. Cora put a hand on my shoulder, solid and reassuring. “You only like what I can give you.” Now my dumb eyes grew hot and traitorous with threatening tears.

  “Isn’t that what all relationships are?” he asked, “What someone can give you? How they make you feel? Isn’t that why we’re attracted to certain people?”

  I would not be persuaded. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not happening. No one’s going to bite me. Ever.”

  Conor looked to Matt. “Matthew,” he said softly.

  Matt shifted and looked at me, dejected. My anxiety level spiked.

  “Ash,” he started, wringing his hands, brows furrowed. “You have to be claimed by someone.”

  My eyes widened. “What do you mean, claimed?”

  “You have to let someone make you their familiar, claim you under their protection.”

  Oh, Goddes
s. The only way to become a familiar was to be bitten, not just once, one had to be a regular donor to a certain vampire, and ingest their blood. My heart sped up. “What? Why? What the hell does that mean?”

  Matt pressed his lips together, face paling. “The Council thinks your power will begin to attract vamps from all over. You need someone’s protection or…”

  He trailed off and looked at the ground.

  “Or every vamp in the tri-county area will be trying to bite you,” Conor filled in.

  Cora’s hand tightened on my shoulder. Horror washed through me, my mouth hung open in shock, cold seeping into my core. I will not freak out. I will not freak out, I thought.

  Matt moved to stand, probably to come to me. Conor put a hand on him, holding him still.

  “I’m sorry, Ash.” Matt’s voice was full of sympathy. “I didn’t know before today.” He paused. “The Council wants you claimed by the end of the week. Otherwise they’ll force it on you to prevent any fighting.”

  The Council, which his parents and Conor’s were all a part of. The body of older vampires who governed the rest of the vampires. At least, here in America. They made up the rules, and they made sure the rules were enforced. Now, I was on their radar, not a position I was relishing at the moment.

  “Force it?” I asked softly, not really wanting to know the logistics of the term.

  He nodded. “They’ll just pick someone.”

  “They can’t do that.” Cora’s voice was outraged.

  “They can,” Matt insisted. “They don’t want a ton of vamps moving into the area and possibly fighting over her.” Vamps fighting over me?

  “I’m too young.” My voice came out all breathy. Where was all that power now?

  “It is unusual to choose familiars while we are still aging.” Conor nodded at me. “But the strength of your power demands you be protected from attacks.”

  Okay, he’d gone all formal again. Matt scowled and turned to me. “Let me translate. Yeah, it’s kinda like getting married in high school, and it’s weird. But we want to keep you safe, and by being a familiar, you will be under someone’s protection and no one can just attack you whenever.”

  There was so much information flying around in my head right now, I needed to consider one question at a time.

  “So this morning, when did you decide to tell Conor I liked him?” I tried to focus on the easier parts of the problem.

  Matt wrung his hands, elbows on his knees. I’d never seen him look so uncomfortable. “I called Conor, asked him what the hell he’d meant by accosting you in the hallway. He explained about the Council’s decision, since he’d gone to them after he’d tasted your power. I told him maybe he could be the one, since you liked him anyway. I thought…” Matt looked at Conor with irritation. “I thought he’d ask you first, explain things to you.”

  Matt looked back at me. I wanted to hug him just to erase the look of misery off his face.

  “I had intended to, really,” Conor said. “I got…caught up in the moment. I am so sorry.”

  I ignored him, focusing on Matt. “You were giving me to Conor?” I accused.

  He shrugged, eyes sheepish. “I thought it would be what you want, if you had a choice.”

  “I wanted him to like me. Wanted him to be with me, Matt, not own me.”

  Matt held his hands out to me with another helpless shrug. “I thought it was the best option, better than someone you didn’t know.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Conor studying me. This whole situation was crazy.

  “Fine,” I snapped. “I pick Cora.” Damn the both of them. Cora stiffened beside me.

  Conor shook his head. “She’s not strong enough.”

  “Hey,” Cora protested.

  Conor’s eyes barely left mine to acknowledge her. “You won’t be able to protect Ashlinn from other vamps who might want her.”

  Was he talking about himself? Would he fight to possess me?

  Cora’s posture deflated. “Sorry, honey,” she whispered. My throat closed and those dumb tears threatened again. This time they were tears of helplessness. I was trapped; I had no choice. I was going to have to submit to my biggest fear. Panic formed in the pit of my stomach.

  “Matt.” My voice cracked. “I…I can’t…”

  He looked at me, his own eyes bright. “I know, Ash. But you have to. You won’t be safe otherwise. Conor will make it feel…nice.”

  I closed my eyes, squeezing back the tears and shook my head, feeling my ponytail brush against the back of my neck. “I can’t. I just can’t,” I repeated more firmly, swallowing the urge to cry.

  I would be strong. Cora put an arm around my shoulders and held me to her. “I won’t be used,” I told the boys, staring hard at them. “I can’t trust anyone not to take too much, and I don’t want to belong to someone who only wants me for my power. That’s not fair. And actually, I don’t really want to belong to anybody.”

  Matt stood, this time unhindered by Conor. “You can trust me.” My eyes widened. What was he saying?

  “Matthew?” Conor raised his eyebrows.

  Matt turned to him. “Dude, she’s not going to pick you now. You blew it. I’m her friend. She trusts me and she knows I’d never use her or take advantage of her.” He turned back to me. “I can do it, Ash. If you want.”

  I stilled. Did I want to be Matt’s familiar? Belong to him? I knew enough about the vamp world to know familiars often became romantic. You had to share blood back and forth to truly be considered a familiar, which created a bond that was strong, basically unbreakable. More so than the bond Matt and I had. It had been so long since I’d had his blood, and he’d never had mine, so what we had paled in comparison to what came of regularly sharing blood. As a familiar, we would be able to feel each other always.

  Matt was like my brother. It would be weird to be so close to him. There was no way I’d want to chance our friendship by entering into that kind of bond with him. I did trust him with my life. Well, I used to.

  However, the thought of belonging to anyone turned my stomach. Would I be able to think of it as just being under someone’s protection? I wasn’t sure I could fool myself enough. Although, if I was completely honest, knowing Conor wanted such a bond with me was flattering, and tempting. I already felt oddly connected to him. Well, I used to.

  I was drawn to him, like a moth to a flame—just waiting to get burned. He was confident, and he knew I wanted him. He had counted on that fact and expected me to let him bite me, still slightly infuriating. I wanted him to like me for me, not what I could give him—how much power I had. Was I asking too much? So, Matt or Conor? Best friend or dream guy? Sheesh! How was I supposed to make this decision when I didn’t want to be anybody’s familiar?

  “I need time,” I said, hoping I hadn’t projected all my thoughts to Matt.

  He nodded, understanding the weight of the decision they’d placed before me.

  Conor stood now, too. “You have one week.”

  One week? It seemed so short. I closed my eyes in defeat. Goddess! It had really come to this. My destiny was written, and I had little choice in the matter.

  Cora stood to walk the boys out. I was rooted to the couch, weighted down with the levity of what lay before me. Matt followed Cora into the other room with a last sympathetic glance over his shoulder at me. Conor remained, walking around the table to stand in front of me. I studied the buttons on his dark green shirt.

  He gently placed two fingers under my chin and raised my face to look at him. I felt the familiar warmth radiate from where his touch grazed my skin. Damn him and his dark green eyes.

  “It’s not just your power, Ash.” He spoke soft and firm.

  I swallowed. He’d never called me just Ash before. It sounded sweet and familiar coming from his mouth. I tried in vain to not think about what it was like to kiss that mouth, or at least be kissed by that mouth.

  I shook my head, stubborn. “I don’t know for sure. All evidence poi
nts to the negative on that point.”

  “I’ll have to convince you.” He smiled slightly.

  “You have a girlfriend,” I said stupidly, just now remembering Victoria. Matt and Cora stood by the pool table, watching us.

  “I broke up with Victoria yesterday,” Conor replied.

  Oh. Huh, how about that? I had no more excuses. I stared blankly. Conor moved to leave. I stood and followed him, zombie-like. As we approached Matt and Cora, Matt moved to me and I automatically wrapped my arms around his waist, letting his familiar scent calm me. His shirt felt rough against my cheek as he held me to him tightly.

  He laid his face on my hair.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered. His hands smoothed down my back once before he let me go.

  Cora took my hand in hers in a show of solidarity. She was with me on this. For that, I was grateful, happy there was someone in my life who wasn’t trying to be the one to own me. Conor stood at the door, his shining eyes boring into me. Matt walked past his friend, opened the door, and walked into the night.

  “One week,” Conor whispered before he too melded into the shadows.

  Chapter Six

  Cora and I didn’t sleep. We sat up and talked. I may have cried some. We discussed my options. We even threw around the idea of running away. Though we figured if my power was as strong as Matt and Conor claimed, then no matter where we went vamps would be attracted to it. Besides, I was planning on going to college. I still wanted some normalcy in my life. We decided I would have to choose between Matt and Conor. There was no way I could let someone I didn’t know bite me.

  Did I pick Matt, who was my friend, my savior, my rock? Matt, who Cora thought may be just a little bit in love with me.

  “Matt? No way. I thought he was trying to start something with that Megan chick,” I protested.

  Cora rolled her eyes. “You only think that because you’ve been so hung up on your obsession with Conor. Girl, you should see the way Matt looks at you.”