Our Time

by Jessica Wilde

  I watched Andrew's strong hand cover mine and lift it to his lips sending tingles through my arm. "I'm so sorry," he said softly. He looked back at Olivia who had drool running down her cheek, "I guess we should probably talk."

  I shrugged, attempting to look nonchalant when I was really about to combust from his intimate touch. "There really isn't anything to talk about, Andrew."

  I didn't want him to think he had to explain a past relationship to me. He could do whatever he wanted. Yeah, I was jealous of the time she got to share with him, however long that was, and I was enraged at the thought of her touching him, at the sight of her touching him, but it was none of my business as long as it didn't affect Olivia. If he was seeing other women, it obviously hadn't been affecting her because she was happy and I felt like she was safe.

  I imagined what it would do to us if he was involved with other women and taking them out and having a life with them, too. It made me sick. I loved the time we spent together. Would he do that? Would I be able to sit back and watch that? Most likely, I wouldn't be in his life anymore. I couldn't tell him not to date, though, because we were just friends. It was only recently that things had gotten a little more… complicated. There was still time to stop it and forget about it. That's what I needed to do.

  "Don't, Jocelyn." His voice was tight, but calm.

  "What? I don't have any claim on you, Andrew. What you do when you aren't with me and Liv is none of my business."

  He shook his head and spoke quietly, his voice sending a shiver through my body, "How can you say that?"

  "Because we are just friends, remember? I told you from the beginning that I didn't want Olivia to get hurt, and being more than what we are, would eventually hurt her and me."

  He watched me for a minute, and I squirmed under his stare. Those ocean blue eyes did things to me that no one else had before. They made me feel safe and wanted, even if that may not be the case, I liked the feeling. I didn't have to worry about my problems, because he made me laugh enough or distracted me enough that they never had a chance to enter my mind and I was afraid that if we stopped seeing each other, I would just start dwelling on all of them again. But I couldn't be more. Things were exactly where they needed to be. Right?

  Without another word, he faced forward and pulled out onto the road and headed for home. I looked back at Liv and my heart broke. Would she remember Andrew if this friendship didn't work out in the end?

  Yes, she would. How could she forget him?

  The ride was completely silent and when we finally parked in the driveway of my house, Andrew immediately went to the back and pulled Olivia out of her seat and she snuggled onto his shoulder. It was only 3 o'clock in the afternoon and she would probably stay asleep for a couple of hours. We still had the barbeque planned for the night and everyone was coming over at 6. I had a few hours to collect myself and get over what happened at the park.

  I followed closely behind him, watching my little girl nestle into his arms and drool on his shirt. Monty greeted us at the door and Andrew patted him on the head. "Hey, boy. Be quiet, Liv is really tired, okay?" Then he climbed the stairs to her room with Monty right behind him.

  He had been talking to Monty like that for a while now and that dog held on to every word he said, just like I did and just like Olivia did.

  We were all screwed.

  That's when everything suddenly clicked in my head and I froze in the middle of my living room staring at the pictures of me and Liv. We needed Andrew in our lives. Olivia needed a man in her life to show her how a man should love and take care of a child and a woman. He loved her. Monty needed him because I couldn't give him the kind of attention he craved, only Andrew could. I needed him, because I couldn't imagine my life without him anymore. I couldn't stop what was happening between us, it would only leave us empty.

  I kept questioning myself. What if he didn't feel the same? I couldn't let this go on any longer if that was the case. We needed to be on the same page or things would just be worse later on. I'll tell him tonight. It was a risk I was going to have to take.

  I heard his footsteps on the stairs and slowly forced myself to face him. He hadn't spoken to me at all and I had a feeling that it was coming. But when he stepped into the room he didn't stop, he strode toward me with a purpose, his eyes smoldering and determined.

  When he reached me, he buried his hands in my hair and crushed his lips to mine, jolting me back a couple steps. He kissed me desperately and I held onto his arms to keep my knees from buckling under me. Finally! I shouted in my head. I had been keeping my guard up and had hated myself for every minute of it. This is what I truly wanted.

  He nipped at my bottom lip and ran his tongue along the seam, making me whimper and open up for him. A deep moan rumbled in his throat and he slowly moved his tongue against mine, tasting me and savoring it. This man knew how to kiss and I gave back all that I could.

  He broke the kiss too soon and we were both gasping for air. He waited for me to open my eyes and spoke with a rumble. "You own me, Jocelyn. You have had the claim on my heart since the first moment I saw you." After a long second he grinned, "You may have to share that claim with Olivia because she has it, too." He kissed me soft and slow, then pressed his forehead to mine. "You are my best friend, but I want you to be more." He pulled away and looked deep into my eyes and my breath caught at the sincerity I saw in his. "I need you to be more, because… I-I don't think I can handle another minute of not being able to touch you the way I want to touch you. And I know that I can't handle you thinking that what I do is none of your business."

  His hands moved down the nape of my neck and out to rest on my shoulders. I was still reeling from the intensity of his kiss and my heart beat wildly in my chest when I heard him saying the words that scared and comforted me at the same time.

  "I need you, too," I breathed.

  He smiled down at me and wrapped a hand around the back of my neck, putting the slightest pressure against my skin to pull me up to him. His lips met mine again and he kissed me hungrily. I felt his arms wrap around my waist and lift me against him, nothing had ever felt so good. Cupping his face in my hands, I took control of the kiss and swallowed the groan that escaped from his throat.

  "You taste even better than I imagined," he murmured against my mouth.

  I chuckled and he lowered me back down to my feet. "You imagined what I would taste like?"

  He brushed a strand of hair behind my ear and whispered, "Every single day." His smile faded before he continued. "I'm sorry about what happened at the park. I haven't been involved with her for several months now, but she doesn't seem to get the hint. When she figures out where I am working one night, she shows up and causes problems. I promise that I haven't been seeing her or even really talking to her."

  I pressed my finger to his lips to stop him, he kissed it and grinned. "You don't have to explain anything. No matter what she would have said, I know you better than that. I just wish I would have been able to strangle her like I wanted to."

  He chuckled and kissed the tip of my nose, "I noticed that and believe me, I would have loved to watch you rip her apart, but I don't think Liv would be happy if you spent the night in jail."

  "That's why I stopped myself. Plus, you and Maddy handled it pretty well."

  He scoffed, "Yeah, Maddy hates her and always has… you know what? Let's not talk about it. I want to kiss you some more."

  He kissed the corners of my mouth and pulled me against him.

  "Sounds good."

  Chapter 8

  Andrew

  I don't think I had ever really belonged anywhere in this life, until now. I belonged with Jocelyn and Olivia and they belonged with me. Sitting on the couch with Jocelyn snuggled in my arms made the past 29 years of my life all but disappear. All that mattered was our future together, and I planned on spending the rest of my life with her.

  She asked me how long I had been interested in her this way and I told her that there was ne
ver really a moment I wasn't interested in her this way, I just didn't want to push her away and I wanted her to know that I was going to be there for her and Olivia whether we were romantically involved or not.

  She shifted in my arms and looked up at me. "We still have a lot to get to know about each other, you know that right?"

  "Yes, I do."

  "Do you think we can take it slow?"

  I kissed her forehead. Slow. Fast. I didn't care, as long as she was mine. "We can do whatever you want, but I'm not going to be able to stop kissing you or anything. You've already ruined me for life."

  She giggled and burrowed into my chest, "Same here."

  Olivia's tiny voice came through the monitor, "Mommy, out peez."

  I let Jocelyn go get her while I started getting the burgers ready for dinner. When she walked into the kitchen holding Olivia and kissing her on the cheek, making her giggle, I had to take deep breaths and focus on keeping my hands busy. I was already suffering from the strain on the zipper of my shorts and I willed myself to get it under control. She was just so insanely gorgeous and even more so when Liv was around.

  Jocelyn set Olivia in her highchair and gave her some string cheese to munch on. It was already 5:30. Time flew by with her and I couldn't help the disappointment I felt when I thought of saying goodnight to her. I didn't want to miss any time, but I had to be patient. I needed to take things slow and we needed to get to know each other intimately one step at a time. Her kisses had been passionate and I could envision how incredible we would be together. Which didn't help the path my thoughts were taking.

  One step at a time.

  Everyone arrived for dinner and Jocelyn was talking up a storm with Madison before I could ask her how she felt about them knowing what was going on between us. I decided to just keep it simple and do what I had always done before.

  We were all seated out on the patio laughing and watching Josh and Ella play with Olivia while Monty sat, stoically waiting for a handout. Jocelyn was sitting across from me and I couldn't take my eyes away from her. I studied every inch of her face and she flushed whenever she caught my eyes on her. Everything was going well until Madison brought up the topic of Megan.

  "She is such a--" she stopped and looked around to see if the kids were close by and lowered her voice. "A bitch. I don't know what you ever saw in her, Drew. She is crazy."

  I squirmed in my seat and watched Jocelyn put her head down and pick at her nail polish again. She only did that when she was nervous and I felt a tight squeeze in my chest thinking about how Megan had made her feel today.

  "It was a long time ago, Maddy, and I have learned my lesson. I don't really want to talk about her, okay?" I leaned over and grasped Jocelyn's wrist gently. She looked up at me and forced a smile.

  Enough was enough, I didn't care if everyone knew. I wanted them to know that she was mine and I was happy with her. I yanked her out of her chair and pulled her onto my lap, she yelped in surprise, but didn't resist. I wrapped my arms around her and her smile was genuine and reached her eyes. Having her in my arms felt like the most natural thing in the world. We fit together.

  "Hi," I said and she draped an arm over my shoulders.

  "Hi."

  "Well, well, well. It's about time!" Maddy exclaimed. She smiled wide and clapped her hands.

  "Tell me about it," Catherine added, "I thought I might explode from all the sexual tension going on between you two. Just friends my ass!"

  I laughed, because only Catherine would care less about swearing around the kids in a situation like this. Jocelyn looked a little embarrassed and I pulled her in a little tighter. "It's not exactly like that, Catherine," I muttered.

  "Why not?"

  "Well…" I couldn't think of how to explain it. I looked to Jocelyn and she looked a little lost, too.

  "Listen," Maddy said firmly, "I know you guys are probably taking it slow, which is good. No need to rush into anything when there is a child involved. Plus, you two have been close friends for a while now and that is completely different from being a couple. We get it. You have to get to know each other differently now."

  "Couldn't have said it better myself," Jocelyn replied.

  "But…" Maddy looked a little hesitant yet determined to say what she had on her mind. "Life is short."

  I felt Jocelyn's whole body stiffen in my arms and I sat up a little straighter, a little miffed by her reaction. What did that mean to her?

  "You can't spend too long pretending that neither one of you want to take the next step or you will regret it for the rest of your lives. If you know, you know."

  Everyone was really quiet and I could feel the nervousness radiating off of Jocelyn which, in turn, made me nervous. She pulled out of my arms and stood, "Thanks, Maddy. We will keep that in mind." Then she disappeared into the house.

  Catherine looked over at Madison and shrugged. Ethan and Ty were pretending to be paying attention to the kids and Ty muttered silently to Ethan, "Women. They don't know when to just stop talking, huh?"

  "Oh you two can go bite the wall!" Maddy shouted. "Come on, let's get everything cleaned up. It's getting dark and we still have to find a spot for the fireworks." She shot me a knowing look and tilted her head toward the house, "Sorry. You better go in there," she mouthed.

  When I didn't find her in the living room, I hurried up the stairs and found her in Olivia's room standing over her crib and clutching it for support. My stomach dropped when I saw that her eyes were shut tightly and her face was tense with concentration. I watched her for a moment, hoping she would open her eyes and talk to me.

  "Joss? Are you okay?" I made my way over to her and she looked up as if she didn't realize I was in the room until now.

  She cleared her throat and stepped back, "Yeah! Of course." Her voice was a little too high to be convincing and I shook my head.

  "No. I don't think you are. What's going on?" I ran my hands up and down her arms trying to comfort her, replaying in my head what Maddy had said and trying to pinpoint the exact moment Jocelyn's demeanor had changed. "Sweetheart, please tell me what happened back there. Are you upset because of what I did? I know we didn't get a chance to talk about what we wanted to do with everyone else, but I just couldn't take it anymore. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you."

  She took a deep breath before speaking in a steady voice, "No. It's not that, Andrew."

  She ran a shaky hand through her hair and looked pale and nervous despite the guarantee in her voice. "Hey," I kissed her forehead and wrapped my arms around her, "you can tell me anything, you know that. What's going on?"

  She buried her face in my chest and inhaled deeply. "Andrew, I think that maybe we need to talk about--"

  "Hey, you two! We are going to head out of here in a minute," Ty shouted from the bottom of the stairs. I silently cursed him for interrupting, but kept my arms locked around her. She sighed, almost as if it was relief she felt, and pulled back, shutting her eyes tightly for another moment.

  "We better get going," she murmured. "I still have to grab a blanket and get Olivia's bag ready." She stood on her tip toes and kissed my cheek. "Will you go get Liv ready to go?"

  After a beat, I nodded. "Sure. You need anything else? You are making me a little nervous."

  "No, I'll be fine. Sorry, I just needed a minute. I'm better now."

  I narrowed my eyes at her, but she didn't waver. I had to trust her.

  She walked out of the room and into her bedroom. Now was not the time to discuss something important anyway. We needed to do that when we could be alone. It had been a good day and I was determined to keep it that way. I would be patient with her, but I was going to make sure she knew how important she was to me. Tonight, she was going to realize that no matter what she had to say, I would still want her. Life is short and I wasn't going to lose another second with her or Olivia.

  ***

  We made our way to the high school where the fireworks were set up and put out blankets and chairs. Olivia started c
limbing all over me when we sat on the ground and I wrestled with her for a few minutes making her giggle and scream excitedly.

  "Daddy, can we go throw the football around?" Josh asked Ethan.

  "Yeah, buddy, let's go."

  "Me too, Daddy," Ella shouted and ran after them.

  "You coming, Andrew?" Ty asked as he tossed the football in the air and caught it.

  "Nah, I'm going to stay here with Liv." She was sitting on my leg rummaging through her bag and talking to herself quietly while looking for a treat.

  Jocelyn was listening to Madison and Catherine gossip about some of the people around us with an amused grin on her face. She wasn't much of a gossiper and never had a bad thing to say about anyone and I admired her for that. Her long brown hair fell over her shoulders in waves and she kept trying to pull a piece away from her eyes. The same piece I always itched to wrap around my finger. Her cheeks were a little flushed from the slow jog she had to take to keep up with Liv and the kids while I carried our stuff. She was exquisite and she was with me.

  Her eyes jerked over to me for a split second as if she could feel my eyes on her. She saw me staring and a blush slowly crept up her neck. My lips were burning with the urge to kiss the skin at the base of her neck, knowing I would be able to feel her pulse thrumming wildly. No woman had ever affected me like this. I winked at her and tried to catch my breath as I turned my attention back to Liv.

  She was trying to rip open a pack of fruit snacks, but her little fingers struggled to grip the plastic. She turned to me and held up the pack, her little voice rang out loudly, "Daddy, open peez."

  My heart stopped.

  Jocelyn

  My head snapped over to where Olivia sat on Andrew's lap. She just called him Daddy.

  "Oh my God," Madison breathed next to me and slapped her hand over her open mouth.