BWWM: BEFORE I WAKE: A Bad Boy Billionaire Book Collection (African American Interracial Series)

by Scribble XO Books

  We sat down as he told me, “You have quite the job in for you, Amara. Did Jackson’s mother tell you how stubborn he is?”

  She elbowed him and smiled. “It runs in the family,” he said. She laughed.

  “Mrs. Hanks…”

  “Amara please call me Caroline.”

  “Caroline, thank you. Has Jackson or the doctor gone over with you what he’s facing from here on out?”

  “Vaguely, I’m not sure if you have any children…but even as grown-ups they’re not all that forthcoming with details.”

  I laughed. “That, I can identify with. I have a daughter and I pick her up from school every day and try to get out of her what the day was like. The most I ever get is ‘fine’ or ‘I can’t remember’ or ‘Becky has a new doll, can I have one?’ Very little.”

  Laughing, she said, “I always wanted a daughter. Jackson was only eight when his father died. Before he got sick we’d talked a lot about having another child…but life happened…” she looked sad and I saw Roger reach over and squeeze her thigh lovingly.

  “I’m sorry to hear about Jackson’s father.”

  She smiled at me, sadly. “He was only thirty-four. He had aggressive small cell carcinoma in his lungs. He never smoked a day in his life, but he was in the Navy and the doctor seemed to think it was something he may have encountered on one of his deployments that caused it. Either way, it was tough. Jackson and I did okay though. Thank God I had him.”

  “Wow yeah, I’m afraid I can identify there as well. Nala’s father died overseas in Afghanistan. If not for her I’m not sure I could have made it through.”

  “Oh Amara, I’m so sorry!”

  I smiled at her. I felt kind of like I’d met a kindred soul. “Would you like to see a picture of my baby?”

  “I’d love to,” she said with real enthusiasm.

  I took out my phone and for the next fifteen minutes we looked at Nala. My baby girl had a way of always raising my spirits. It seemed like she did the same for Caroline. When we finally ran out of photos she said, “She is so pretty, just like her mother. You’re truly blessed.”

  “I think so too,” I said. “And so are you. I could tell that you and Jackson seem to have a great relationship.”

  “They do,” Roger piped in. “I was worried when we first started dating and I found out her son was the light heavyweight champion.”

  Caroline laughed and said, “You were not.”

  “Iwas, honestly,” he said with a wink in my direction. “But it turned out that all he wants is to see his mother happy…so we have the same goal.” They were adorable together. It was what I hoped for when Nala was older.

  For now, I contented myself with being Mama. Time for me would come later and she fulfilled me so much that I was okay with that. Okay…most of the time I was okay with that.

  I’d be lying if I said I didn’t notice Jackson’s blue eyes or the way he looked at me. He was tall and immediately striking. Even in crutches, he moved with the grace of a seasoned athlete, a man used to commanding the attention of a stadium. A wave of golden strands had fallen loose from behind his ear when he’d nodded and I swear I’ve never seen a man so beautiful.

  I jolted back into the moment. It’s better to stay focused on the treatment. “So let me tell you what Jackson and I will be working on as soon as he’s up to it….”

  I spent the next hour telling her about post-surgical PT and what Jackson was looking forward to. Caroline had a lot of good questions and it helped pass the time answering them. I hadn’t realized how much time had passed when the surgical nurse stuck her head out the door and said, “Mrs. Hanks?”

  Caroline stood up and the nurse said, “Dr. M will be out soon to talk to you but I wanted to let you know he’s in recovery and he did great. Amara, you can come back now and as soon as he’s good and awake we’ll let you know too, Mrs. Hanks.”

  “Thank you so much,” Caroline told her.

  As I followed the nurse back I felt a tickle of anticipation in my belly. It was silly really. I love my job and my clients, but I don’t recall ever being this excited to see one. I shook my head at my own silliness…I didn’t even like fighters. As a matter of fact, I despised violence altogether. My husband was killed in war…

  “Here we go Amara, he’s in room two. I’ll be back to take his vitals again in a few minutes. He’s in and out of it,” the nurse told me.

  “Thanks Carrie.” I pushed in the door and saw him lying there.

  He still had on his paper hat but long tendrils of that silky blonde hair were sticking out underneath it. His eyes were closed and I noticed how peaceful he looked, a far cry from the violent fighter he was rumored to be. He sure had a beautiful face for someone who beat people up a lot. Maybe that’s why he’s so good. Dr. Matthews had told me he was some kind of a champion or other…maybe he fought so well to protect that pretty face.

  I heard him groan and I moved over closer to the bed. “Jackson? It’s Amara, your... therapist. Are you okay? Are you in pain?”

  His eyelids fluttered open and suddenly those sky blue eyes were looking at me. Orinto me rather. We both stilled, just watching each other. I could tell he recognized me but he didn’t say a word. Just watched me.

  I suddenly felt vulnerable. One corner of his mouth pulled slowly into a smile. It was a crooked, medicated smile…but it was gorgeous.

  “Nah, I’m tough,” he said, his voice thick and breathy with weariness. His eyes closed again but he fluttered them back open and looked directly at me.

  “God… You’re really pretty…”

  Then he closed them again and I think he went back to sleep. My whole body was flushed warm by his words. I’m so silly…but damn it made me happy for him to say I was pretty.

  It wasn’t like I’d never gotten hit on by my patients before. We spend a lot of time together. I always, diplomatically turn them down. For some reason I got a feeling that if Jackson ever asked…I would have a hell of a time turning him down.

  “How’s our patient?” Carrie asked, pushing back in the door.

  “He woke up briefly. He says he’s not in pain, but he groaned before he knew I was here.”

  “Tough guy, huh?” Carrie said.

  I smiled and said, “That’s exactly what he said when I asked him,I’m tough.”

  “Well, we will give him something anyways, just to take the edge off after I get his vitals.”

  I stepped back and watched her pull up the sleeve of his hospital gown to wrap the blood pressure cuff around his arm. She was using the extra-large cuff and it was easy to see why. His bicep, even at rest was bulging. He had a tattoo that looped around it and trailed down his left arm. I had this incredible urge to trace it with my fingers and my heart raced in my chest.Damn Amara! It’s been too long, I guess. My hormones were on double time today.

  After Carrie finished with him, I pulled a chair up and waited for him to wake up.

  When he did, I was greeted with another soft smile. “Still here, beautiful?”

  I think I blushed. My face was hot all of a sudden. “Pretty flirty for a guy who just went under the knife.”

  “It’s your fault,” he said with a small grin.

  I rolled my eyes. I’m sure a guy like him is a world class player. It’s something I don’t have time for in my life, that’s for sure…no matter how gorgeous he is. I stood and glanced down at him. I knew that under the sheets was a no doubt a powerful man but right now he looked tired and anxious.

  “How are you feeling, honestly?” I said, softly.

  “It hurts, a little,” he said with a frown. I think that was the first true statement I got all day. “But I’ll live. I’m ready to rehab.”

  I smiled. “I’m going to take off soon. I’ll let your mom and Roger come in to see you…”

  “Roger’s here?”

  “Yeah, he left work because he was worried about your mom. I thought it was really sweet.”

  “Yeah, they’re kind of sickening,
” he said, but I could see the fondness in his eyes.

  He reached up to the railing to brush my fingers. “I... don’t want you to go.”

  Shaking my head at him I said, “You’re going to be seeing so much of me soon that you’ll be sick of me too, Jack.”

  “Not unless they removed my heart and brain too.”

  His eyes sparkled with mischief and I couldn’t help but smile as I turned away. Once again, my whole body was alive with heat, honed in on that small place where we touched. I needed to get out of there right. now.

  “Get some rest and I’ll look forward to seeing you Monday morning at the center.”

  “I can’t wait,” he said, like he was seriously looking forward to the rehab. I hope he knew that it wasn’t going to be fun and games.

  “Good. I’ll see you then.” Without thinking I patted his forearm and my stupid hand rested there.

  “Amara…” His eyes looked into me and I wanted to run. They were warm and sweet.

  “Thank you,” he said, sincerely.

  I gave him a smile. Who could help it? “You’re welcome. I’ll see you soon.”

  I left then with everything inside of me feeling like hot, molten lava. I would have to spend the entire weekend convincing myself that I wasn’treally attracted to blonde, blue-eyed rock hard alphas. I sighed. Yeah, right.

  ***

  By the time I picked up my sweet baby girl at preschool and we got home, it was close to seven already. I was able to shake the images of Jackson and his biceps and tattoos off at least while I made her dinner and we discussed Becky’s new shoes over chicken and rice.

  “They light up?” I asked her.

  “Yes! All over!” Her brown eyes were full of excitement.

  “Not just on bottom?”

  “No Mom, I promise! They have lights in the toes even!”

  I laughed. “They sound amazing. Where did she get them?”

  “From the store!”

  “Oh…okay, how much did they cost?”

  She shrugged. “We can get some money from that machine at the bank though. That should be enough.”

  I laughed again. God, I love her. “We’ll see baby. Maybe for your birthday. It’s coming up soon.”

  “Okay,” she said, reluctantly. “Can I have chocolate cake?”

  “For your birthday?”

  “No, right now.” Ah…the fickle mind of a four year old. I got up and sliced a piece of the cake our neighbor Mrs. Palacios had brought over. She loves Nala and she’s always giving her sweets. I have to dole them out one bite or piece at a time.

  After she ate her cake and ended up with more of it on her face than in her little mouth, I gave her a bath. We read three stories before I finally got her settled down and tucked in…it was my fault for agreeing to the cake so late.

  Once she was finally asleep, I cleaned up the kitchen and went in and took my own shower. I came out completely refreshed. I did my skincare routine, brushed my teeth and secured my hair. By the time my own head hit the pillow, I was exhausted.

  I laid there in the dark for a while, willing myself to go to sleep and not to think any more about Jackson Hanks. My libido had other ideas. Just the sound of his name in my head while I was tucked tight into my bed in the dark…made my panties a little bit damp.

  I closed my eyes and pictured his beautiful face…those sparkling blue eyes…those lips…God I’d love to run my tongue across them. I shivered at the thought and let my mind move to his arms. Wouldn’t I love to grab onto those sexy arms while he’s on top of me and sliding in and out of me.

  I felt my own hot hands cross my stomach and as if they had a mind of their own… I finally touched the hem of my silk panties, a shiver running up my spine as images of Jackson flowed through my mind. I bit at my bottom lip as my pulse began to race. I hooked my thumbs around my panties and slid them down. It was crazy, but just the thought of a man I’d only just met had caused a hot throbbing sensation between my legs that was making my writhe before I’d even touched myself.

  I closed my eyes and let my hand trace across the warm flesh of sex. I pictured him again, pictured myself licking my way across those full, sexy lips. I shivered all over at the thought of his tongue coming out to meet mine and I let my fingers press hard down into my swollen clit. I gasped as I let them make tiny little circles across my sensitive area.

  I pictured him above me, looking down at me with those incredibly intense eyes… My free hand slid up underneath my night shirt as if it had a mind of its own and took hold of one of my breasts. The other hand was still busy, rubbing my clit harder as the moisture and the tension continued to build.

  I imagined reaching up and grasping those strong biceps as he slid his hot, throbbing cock into my soaking wet pussy. I pinched down on my nipple and moaned. God, I was hot. I pushed the thick covers all the way back and opened my eyes. In the moonlight that came through the blinds I could see my wet flesh and my hand between my legs.

  I closed my eyes again and once more Jackson was there. This time it was his tongue in place of my fingers, moving across the flesh between my legs. I flicked my clit and imagined him sucking on it, licking in between my folds. I was bucking up off the bed and rubbing hard. I let go of my breast and slid the other hand down.

  Imagining he was sliding those thick fingers into me while he licked my clit…I slid two fingers into my hot, wet opening and moved them in and out furiously as I brought myself close to orgasm. My legs were trembling violently as I spread them as wide as I could. My hips were coming up off the bed…in my mind now to meet his as he moved up to fuck me once again.

  In my imagination he leaned down to tell me how good it was…just as I felt my whole body begin to first shake and then stiffen as an explosion inside of me. The pleasure washed over me in wave after wave and once again I bit down on my lip to keep from crying out and waking up Nala.

  My pussy clamped down tightly around my fingers and I felt the warm rush of bliss seep from me. My body was on fire and I rubbed slowly now, working myself through the orgasm…until at last I went limp and collapsed down onto the damp sheet.

  I lay there panting for a good five minutes before I could shake off the after-effects of the explosive climax.

  Finally when I felt the feeling come back into my legs, I pulled myself up and went into the bathroom to clean up. I glanced at myself in the mirror, thinking I’d be slightly ashamed of myself. But the girl in the mirror was still thinking about Jackson…and she smiled back at me, brightly.

  ***

  Jackson has been amazing at his past couple therapy sessions. His determination and grit are impressive. We don’t often talk about his career. For one thing I almost can’t bear the thought of knowing he gets in a cage and someone beats on that gorgeous body of his. But I’m spared the gory details.

  For whatever reason he doesn’t seem to want to talk about it…other than to tell me he’s retired and his time in the cage is over. I find it odd sometimes because he’s usually so confident about everything else. Some would even call it arrogance. I have to admit that I expected him to want to talk constantly about his fighting or his women. He’s a shameless flirt, but he’s never crossed that line and tried to talk to me about anything overtly inappropriate.

  He’s also never brought anyone with him to his sessions except occasionally Caroline and he’s never mentioned a girlfriend. In the fantasies I still have about him, he’s single. It’s not that I’m thinking there will ever really be anything between us…but it’s nicer for me.

  I was setting up for our session when I heard Gloria and Edna giggling like schoolgirls at the front desk. I knew he’d entered the building before I even looked. Both ladies are old enough to be his mother but every time he comes in they both get worked up like cheerleaders in the presence of the football hero. It’s cute and a tribute to his charms. I slid over slightly so that I could see what was going on without being seen.

  “Trick or treat,” I watched him say with
a wiggle of his eyebrows and a glint in his sexy eyes.

  “What are you supposed to be?” Gloria asked him with a giggle.

  “Guess,” he said with a sly grin.

  “Oh! I know! You’re Zeus, God of everything.”

  Oh dear God! She’s been married for twenty-two years and she has grown children. I rolled my eyes.

  He winked at her and I swear I saw her visibly melt. “Good guess, but not quite.”

  “I know!” Gloria piped in. “You’re Prince Charming!” I laughed out loud and he looked up. His eyes met mine.

  “Ican be Prince Charming,” he said, “But I’ll need a Cinderella first.” He didn’t take his eyes off of mine, a look of adoration twinkling in this eyes. I had to consciously will myself not to shy away.

  The girls turned to see what he was looking at and saw me. They gave each other a knowing glance and then Edna slid a bowl of candy corn towards him.

  “Okay Prince, grab your candy and get to work before our lovely Cinderella has to run home.”

  He grabbed a handful of the candy, winked at the ladies again and looked back my way. He was still wearing his brace, but he hardly ever used his crutches any longer. I had no interest in his cage fighting, but it was easy for me to see why he was a champion. He had a presence about him, masculine and sure. And with the way he looked at me, I felt… safe somehow. More protected and protective.

  “Hi, beautiful. Are you ready for me?”

  More than you’ll ever know.

  “The question is Champ, areyouready forme?” I think I saw him wince at the nickname… but he covered quickly with one of his famous grins.

  He looked back at Edna and Gloria. “My lady awaits.”

  His lady...?

  We came through the studio door and he leaned forward to swipe his warm lips across my cheek. I liked the way his big hand felt against my back and I tried desperately not to lean into his fresh masculine scent. He had started greeting me this way a month or so ago. I struggle with the professionalism of it, but I also look forward to it… so I’ve let it go on.