April Fools

by Mari Carr

  Owen’s family was about as different from the Collins family—and Asher’s single, overprotective, “my son walks on water” mom—as it got. Fiona and Asher had grown up surrounded by supportive, loving adults, but there had been precious few of that type in Owen’s childhood.

  So, Owen had lured his in-a-relationship friend under the mistletoe and kissed her—with tongue. She’d given him shit for it afterwards, but Asher noticed she hadn’t held back during the kiss. And she definitely hadn’t pushed Owen away.

  Fiona was like Owen. Fond of the gray area.

  Asher almost wished he was a big enough man to stand down, to tell Owen to go for it. Because there was no denying Owen would be good to her. He’d give her everything she deserved, and she’d be the perfect wife for him. Owen would thrive under her love.

  Shouldn’t he want that for Owen? For Fiona?

  Maybe.

  But he knew his own heart too. Knew there was no way he could step aside. Fiona had turned his head when he’d been eighteen years old and no one, not even Christina, had changed that.

  “Been thinking about tomorrow’s party,” Owen said.

  Teddy stopped walking, so they all halted. It was probably better they had this conversation before they hit the restaurant where Fiona was waiting for them.

  “Thinking about it how?” Teddy asked.

  “Anything Goes sort of leaves the door open to a hell of a lot.”

  Asher blew out a long breath. “Stop talking.” There was no malice behind his words. But the fact was he’d been thinking about that party too. A lot.

  “What?” Owen asked.

  “You can’t discuss or plan Anything Goes. You just walk in the room and let all inhibitions go. You become exactly who you’ve always wanted to be with nothing holding you back. Not fear, not past history, not…friendships.”

  Owen listened, and Asher knew he was already miles ahead of his friend on this.

  “Yeah,” Owen said slowly. “You’re right.”

  Asher caught his eye. “What we should probably discuss is the morning after.”

  “No,” Owen disagreed. “What happens Saturday night happens. On Sunday morning, we go right back to where we are now…if we want to. If we don’t…”

  Teddy closed his eyes and groaned. “Fuck me. I’m not looking forward to Sunday. I can’t deal with all this angst on a hangover a second time. It’s pretty much killing me to listen to it now.” Then he opened his eyes and shook his head in a way that told them Teddy thought they were both morons. “Come on. There’s absolutely nothing I can do to stop this, so let’s just get on with it.” He walked toward the restaurant, a few steps ahead of them, muttering, “Knew things were too good to be true.”

  Asher looked at Owen. “You’re always going to be my best friend.”

  He smiled. “You’re my brother, man. We just have to believe things are going to work out the way they were meant to be.”

  “You’re right.”

  Owen headed to the restaurant again and Asher followed.

  Teddy had already claimed the spot next to Fiona in the booth when he and Owen arrived. He rolled his eyes at their friend’s attempt to keep them separated from Fiona.

  For someone who said she was hungover, Fiona had never looked prettier. Her dark auburn hair was pinned back in a high ponytail, and she had taken the time to swipe on some mascara and lipstick, though not much else. Not that she needed it. She had porcelain skin that never lost its light tan, thanks to her time in the sun. Her exercise of choice was running, and she typically started her day by jogging around a neighborhood park. The morning sun softly bronzed her skin and pulled out the smattering of adorable freckles on her cheeks and nose that she hated.

  They sat down and Fiona’s uncle Ewan walked over to the table to say hello and take their orders.

  “Bit shorthanded this afternoon. Two of my waitresses have come down with bad head colds. I told them to stay home. Yvonne tells me the four of you had a good time last night at the pub.”

  “Too much fun,” Fiona said, rubbing her head. “Today, we’re all business. We’ve got a ton of work to do.”

  Ewan humphed. “That’s a shame. Karaoke night at the pub. Always a great time. Sean started it years ago, but Tris called a halt to it after a while, claiming it was the cruelest form of torture. Padraig brought it back over the summer for Mia, and we’ve been doing it the last Friday of every month ever since. Patrons love it and it’s always good for a laugh. Tris just makes sure he’s off that night. Although…” Ewan chuckled. “With Paddy out of town, he’s covering tonight. Which is actually a bonus for the rest of us. His expressions when some of the singers take the stage are worth the price of admission.”

  Asher recalled meeting all of Fiona’s uncles during a summer break when they were twenty and had traveled to Baltimore for a long weekend. Her family was holding an end-of-summer bash at a nearby park on the waterfront. He’d been intimidated by the guys, until he’d seen the way they were big old teddy bears around their wives, sisters and nieces. Asher had never really understood the meaning of overprotective dads—growing up with only his mom—until he’d spent those few days with the Collins men. He had watched and learned, taking it to heart when Fiona’s cousin Colm had pulled him aside and told him to keep an eye on her at college for them.

  He’d given Colm his promise and hadn’t broken it since.

  Teddy’s eyes lit up. “Karaoke?”

  Owen shook his head. “Forget it.”

  “Actually,” Asher said, an idea forming, “I don’t think we should forget it.”

  Owen looked at him in shock. “Seriously? You’re the last person I would ever expect to go for karaoke.”

  “I don’t want to sing, but think about it, Owen. Karaoke would be hilarious in the script. Al’s struggling with your character’s progression that night. What if we threw Wild Winters on stage with a mic?”

  “Oh my God! Yes!” Fiona raised her hand, and she and Asher fist bumped. “It’s perfect,” she exclaimed.

  Ewan laughed. “Does this mean I should save you a table on the bar side tonight?”

  Teddy nodded, answering for all of them before Owen could continue his argument. “Absolutely.”

  They ordered their late lunch and ate, then decided to venture upstairs to the apartment rather than heading back to the hotel. None of them seemed motivated to open a laptop, and Asher could only assume it was because he and Owen were distracted by Fiona and the upcoming party, and Teddy was knee-deep in texts, after finding his second Tinder true love—some guy named Brian or Ryan or… Asher had only half listened because Teddy could go on forever about pretty much every subject in the world and, after a while, his voice turned to white noise in the background.

  Sunnie and Finn were upstairs when they arrived, so the six of them hung out and watched Chopped, talking about little bits of everything, including the party, what songs they should sing at karaoke, what other members of the Collins family were up to, and Hollywood gossip. It was the perfect afternoon.

  As soon as the sun set, Teddy insisted they go to the pub to grab their table. When they got downstairs, Asher was glad Ewan had saved them a spot, as the place was already packed. They were sitting at a big table with Fiona’s uncles Sean and Chad, and their wife, Lauren. Sunnie and Finn had both been recruited to work, since Padraig was still gone. Tris really had broken his vow to remain away and was filling a pitcher from the tap behind the long counter as they sat down, his face the very definition of grumpy.

  Asher claimed the chair on Fiona’s left, Owen taking the right before Teddy could attempt to run interference. Not that he’d tried. He’d taken one look at Sean and grabbed the free chair next to him, doing precious little to hide his instant crush despite the fact the man’s partners were right there at the table.

  “You guys are in for a real treat,” Sean said enthusiastically.

  Chad snorted. “Not sure ‘treat’ is the word I’d use.”

  Lau
ren sat between the men, sipping on a glass of wine. “For the record, I’m not getting up there tonight. Last time we were here, you both let me drink too much of this,” she lifted her glass, “then allowed me to make a complete ass of myself onstage.”

  Sean looked wounded by her accusation. “You’re kidding, right? You sang ‘9 to 5’ better than Dolly could ever hope to.”

  Lauren winced. “God. Don’t remind me.”

  They all laughed when Chad plucked a bottle of white wine from the ice bucket on their table and topped up Lauren’s glass.

  “Asshole,” she muttered, though she was smiling at her husband.

  Asher was fascinated by the dynamics of their relationship. He’d watched the three of them quite a bit on his first trip to Baltimore with Fiona, curious about their unconventional marriage and how they made it work. And there was no denying it worked well. They’d been married for well over twenty years, and the way they sat close to each other, touching, laughing, and joking, proved it was definitely a happy union.

  Yvonne came by to take their drink orders, the men opting for a couple pitchers of National Bohemian, and Fiona took Lauren up on her offer to share the wine.

  “Are you fellas planning to sing?” Sean asked, reaching around to borrow a song list from a nearby table.

  Asher grabbed the list. “Owen is.”

  Owen narrowed his eyes. “Correction. We all are.”

  Fiona leaned close to Asher, reading the song titles. “Woot! Got mine.” She was up and out of the chair within seconds to place her song request with the guy running the karaoke machine.

  “Shit,” Owen cursed. “Give me the list.” He scanned it several times, then stood to put his name in as well.

  Asher studied the song choices, but his gaze kept coming back to one song. He looked at Owen, standing with Fiona in line, and decided fuck it. He rose and hopped in the line of people waiting at the table to sign up.

  Owen was clearly surprised when he turned and discovered Asher directly behind him in line. “Seriously? I figured you’d find a way to back out.”

  Asher shrugged. “Found a song on the list I like. And you’re right. If I’m making you do it, it’s only fair I take a turn too.”

  Owen nodded slowly. “Yeah. Okay.”

  Teddy appeared behind them, grinning from ear to ear. “Got my song picked out too.”

  Once they’d all signed up, they returned to the table, the conversation flowing easily as Chad and Lauren asked questions about the show and the cast and the finale they planned to film at the bar.

  Teddy had managed to draw Sean into a conversation about Mexican food, the two of them debating which was better—soft or hard tacos. While Teddy’s sexual innuendoes about liking things hard were obvious to everyone at the table, Sean played the straight man, pretending they really were just talking about food. Asher hoped Owen and Fiona were taking mental notes, because they had to turn this into a sketch for next season’s show.

  Fiona’s name was called first, and Asher was surprised when Yvonne and Sunnie hopped onstage, taking their places as her backup singers. Then she launched into a legit rendition of Fergie’s ‘Clumsy.’

  “Wow,” Asher said, his eyes glued to Fiona.

  She owned the stage—holding the entire pub captive with her sexy voice and provocative dance moves. Actually, Asher figured it was all three women—the perfect match set with Fee’s red hair, Yvonne’s brunette and Sunnie’s blonde tresses—catching everyone’s attention.

  Sean looked over at him with a proud uncle grin. “Our family makes amazing girls. As Colonel Potter from MASH used to say about his family, there’s not a bum in the lot.”

  Asher agreed. Then he glanced around the room and recognized the same affection on the faces of Tris, Finn and Pop Pop.

  Owen had bumped over into the chair next to him. He must have seen the same Collins pride radiating. “No one in my family ever looked at me like that, like the sun rose and set on my shoulders. I can’t even begin to imagine what it would feel like to have someone love me—”

  Owen stopped short, and Asher wasn’t sure how to respond to his friend’s revealing comment. It was rare when Owen talked about his family, the slipups typically only happening when he was three sheets to the wind. Which he wasn’t at the moment. Asher had noticed the guy was quieter today, his usual swagger and flamboyance dimmed.

  Teddy was looking in their direction and from the frown on his face, it was apparent he’d overheard Owen. Like him, Teddy didn’t appear to know what to say, either.

  Asher looked back at Fiona and realized she was looking at him. She gave him an adorable wink as she sang the chorus.

  Shaking off his brief melancholy, Owen put two fingers in his mouth and blew out the “hot stuff” whistle that delighted her. Asher put his finger in his ear, feigning a wince, pretending Owen had deafened him.

  Lauren, Sean and Chad were into the song as well, mouthing the words, chair dancing with each other, laughing. The three of them reminded him of the relationship he shared with Owen, Fiona and Teddy. Friendship merged with love. The only difference was, Sean and his partners shared an incredible physical attraction as well. It was captivating to watch as well as unnerving. Asher couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but watching the three of them caused his chest to tighten.

  He glanced over and realized Owen was watching the trio too, smiling at them because Teddy was on a roll and had Sean, Chad and Lauren in stitches.

  Then Owen turned toward him—and Asher’s chest constricted even more. He found it hard to breathe, but he couldn’t figure out why. It felt a bit like a panic attack.

  They were embarking on something new, something really risky and completely out of character for all of them, so that could explain the sudden wave of angst.

  Owen noticed his distress, because his smile faded and his forehead creased. He might have said something if Fiona’s song hadn’t ended and Owen’s name was called to come to the stage.

  Owen appeared to regret his song choice the second the music started. After all, there was a definite “Jessie’s Girl” vibe in their group at the moment. Leave it to Owen to impulsively choose the song as a joke without thinking it through. His discomfiture was apparent when he sang the first verse without looking toward their table. Instead, it looked like he was trying to channel his television character. The character Wild Winters was the product of hippies, a free spirit who always brought chaos to his circle of straight-laced friends.

  Owen joked that Teddy was actually the inspiration for his character, which was no surprise to any of them. So Owen put on a show, singing with too much emotion, painting his face with over-the-top pained expressions the way Teddy would, all for a laugh.

  But when Owen reached the chorus, he didn’t avoid them any longer. His eyes landed on Fiona first, who was laughing at his antics, singing along and cheering loudly. Asher wondered if his friend had purposely sought her out because her response was the only easy one. She didn’t know about the tug-of-war he and Asher were currently engaged in as they both hoped to win her heart.

  Owen looked at Asher next, and he tried to ease his friend’s agitation by rolling his eyes and smiling. Then Owen found Teddy, who was kicked back in his chair, his arms crossed, a thoughtful expression on his face.

  Owen looked away when the second verse kicked in, and he had to glance back at the computer monitor for the words. He finished the song and was treated to a standing ovation at the end, something Asher was sure he’d earned because of who he was, not how well he sang.

  He reclaimed his seat at the table, careful to avoid Asher’s eyes. Sean praised him for his performance, but the accolades died quickly when Teddy’s name was called.

  “Oh my God,” Fiona muttered when Teddy launched into the most hilarious rendition of “It’s Raining Men” in history.

  “Jesus. I’m glad I didn’t have to sing after him,” Owen said between laughs.

  Sean, Chad and Lauren were doubled over, tea
rs streaming from their eyes.

  “That guy,” Sean said, unable to catch his breath.

  “I can see why you’re friends with him,” Chad interjected when Sean simply continued to guffaw.

  When his song ended, Teddy didn’t make it back to his seat, as several patrons called him over to the bar, buying him shots for his solid-gold concert.

  A couple other singers took their turns on the stage, but the songs paled in comparison to Teddy’s act. Sean, Lauren and Chad excused themselves to head over to Sunday’s Side to chat with Keira and Riley, who were watching the show from the double doors between the restaurant and the pub.

  “Is that the song you want Wild Winters to sing on the show?” Fiona asked.

  Owen shook his head. “No. I just picked the first title I saw on the list that I knew. We can give more thought to what Wild sings, find something that ties in better with the plot.”

  “Cool.” Fiona lifted the song sheet from the table. “Maybe something on here will spark some ideas.”

  Asher leaned toward Fiona, resting his arm along the back of her chair as he peered at the list with her. Owen watched as Asher twisted a few strands of her hair around his finger, playing with it in a way that was more flirt than friend.

  They’d both agreed to let the cards fall where they may, but that idea was far from fleshed out. In fact, it was borderline stupid.

  Okay. It was stupid.

  None of that mattered when Fiona leaned toward him, curling into his hold. Asher dropped her hair, his fingers slowly gliding along her neck. She shivered lightly at the touch but didn’t look up from the paper. It didn’t take a genius to realize neither one of them was reading the damn thing. Her face flushed a soft pink as he continued to stroke the side of his neck.

  Owen didn’t try to get in the game, but he didn’t move, didn’t look away. Asher glanced in his direction, wishing he could figure out what his friend was thinking.

  Asher suspected the three of them could have remained there, locked together, anticipating what would happen next, but the spell was broken by the deejay when he called out his name.