Before Ryan Was Mine (The Remembrance Trilogy - Prequel)

by Kahlen Aymes

  What are you doing?

  When she found out I was here and already knew exactly what she was doing, she’d be pissed that I’d ask, but I wasn’t thinking much beyond needing to see if she’d tell me the truth.

  The music changed to a slow pulse with more of a melody. I watched the guy take Julia’s slender hand in his and tug her slowly toward the middle of the dance floor, closer to me. My eyes roamed over them both; jealousy took a tighter grip deep down in my gut and my muscles coiled. At the bar, I’d barely glanced in his direction, but now with Julia, he had my undivided attention.

  “I really like this song,” Leah murmured, her fingers now worming their way in between two of the buttons on my shirt to scratch lightly on my bare chest. “Mmmm… you feel nice.” Her voice was beguiling, and I realized she was trying desperately to get me to pay attention to her. I chugged the last couple ounces of the beer from my bottle and waved the empty bottle at the waitress. I held up two fingers, and she nodded in understanding.

  It took every ounce of strength I had to pull my eyes away from Julia, but if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from doing something I had no right to do. I turned to Leah, pulling her fingers from my shirt to enfold them with my own. I smiled at her, trying to concentrate on her dark brown eyes and not the asshole wrapped around Julia less than twenty feet in front of me. Leah was babbling on endlessly about a trip to Europe she took with a group of friends over Christmas break, when the waitress brought us our beers. She set them both in front of me and I grabbed the closest one, wanting to get hammered but knowing I wouldn’t. How could I take care of Julia if I was wasted?

  The music changed again, and I raised my head away from Leah, letting myself glance toward the dance floor and the table where Julia had been. She wasn’t there. The guy wasn’t either. My breath left in a rush as panic washed over me and I sat up straighter, trying to untangle Leah, who was halfway draped across my chest by now, with one of her legs hitched over my knee.

  “Ryan, let’s go back to my place,” she said, her voice low and dripping with sex. Too bad it didn’t do a goddamned thing to distract me. Her hand roaming high on my thigh was only pissing me off when I wanted to be free of her. Her fingers squeezed suggestively as her hand inched closer to my crotch, and her lips nudged my jaw. “If you don’t want to dance, maybe we can find something else to do.”

  My beer slipped from my fingers, and I scrambled to catch it but it was being lifted by another set of slender fingers without the blazing red nails. By the time my eyes shifted up and focused, Julia was leisurely taking a drink from my bottle. Her hooded green eyes appraised me, with my date almost on my lap. I barely noticed Leah because my attention was on Julia, and then her eyes shifted twelve inches right, landing on Leah. Julia hated beer, but still here she was, stamping her ownership with something as simple as a pull on my beer bottle. She probably didn’t even know the effect it had on me at such a base level, but I fucking loved it. Something tightened deep inside my chest, and my dick twitched inside my jeans.

  “Ryan! Are you gonna let her do that?” Leah demanded indignantly, her eyes flashing haughtily up at Julia.

  My lips raised in the slightest smirk. Julia echoed it when her eyes locked with mine.

  “Yeah, she… uh, she can do that,” I confirmed without emphasis. Amusement at Julia’s confidence made me want to laugh out loud. I felt fucking elated.

  Leah huffed beside me and angrily flung herself back against the cushions of the couch, removing her leg from mine. “Well, do you know her?”

  “Yeah. Yeah, I know her.” Boy, do I know her.

  Julia wobbled a little, and I could see she’d had more to drink than she needed. Still, she grinned at me, her arm bent at the elbow as she curled my beer close to her chest, not drinking, just holding it in place. My instinct was to reach out or stand up to steady her.

  Angrily, Leah pushed on my shoulder and spewed venom in Julia’s direction. “Are you going to introduce us? Is she your sister?”

  Julia started to giggle. “Pffft! Do I look like his sister?”

  “Then who are you?” my date demanded, her expression hard. I watched the exchange, anxious to see what Julia would say.

  “Oh, we’re….” She handed back my beer and walked behind me to sit on the top edge of the back of the couch and slid her hand over the shoulder Leah had shoved. “Well, let’s see… we’re… mmmm...” Her words were nonchalant but her eyes widened, waiting for me to finish the sentence. “What exactly are we, Ryan?”

  “This is my best friend Julia. Jules, this is Leah.” I said the words carefully, but couldn’t tear my eyes from Julia’s face. Her features were filled with laughter and devilry.

  “His date,” Leah spat.

  “Congratulations.” Julia focused on Leah and wagged a finger in her direction. She was clearly tipsy. “You need a donut.”

  A laugh burst from my chest because I couldn’t help myself. You need a donut. I thought it was fucking hilarious, but Leah was clearly pissed.

  “What did you say?”

  “You seriously need a donut.”

  Leah looked indignant and furious, but my shoulders were visibly shaking with laughter when Julia turned her attention to me. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

  “Excuse me,” I murmured to Leah then immediately rose to follow Julia a few feet away. “Are you being careful?”

  “Is it just a coincidence that you and Twiggy are here tonight?”

  I swallowed at the accusation in her tone. She was tipsy, but her eyes still burned into mine. “Yeah. I had no idea you were even going out, but I’m glad I’m here. Who is that guy?” I wanted to ask why she let him touch her in such a familiar way but clamped my jaw shut.

  “He’s a guy. Collin, I think? No big deal.” She shrugged nonchalantly, and her hand came to rest on the front of my shirt. I should have been reassured as her deep green eyes looked up imploringly. “Don’t worry, Ryan.”

  It was all I could do not to cover her fingers with my own. “I worry.”

  “I know.” She leaned in and wrapped her arms around my waist in a brief hug and the scent of her perfume engulfed me. “I’m glad to see you. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  I wanted to wrap my arms around her and hold her close. I wanted to tell her to be careful, to stop drinking so much, especially around people she didn’t know, but my hands fell away, and I shut my mouth as she left me and walked back to Ellie and the two guys sitting at her table.

  Over the course of the next two hours, I tried to soothe Leah’s ruffled feathers, dancing with her when absolutely required and buying her enough cocktails to allow me to ultimately remain parked on the couch as much as possible. I’d switched to Jack and Coke, and my mood got worse as the guy became more emboldened with Julia. When Leah accepted another man’s invitation to dance, I couldn’t blame her, and I couldn’t care less. I thought I’d inadvertently screwed myself when I told Leah the reason I didn’t feel like dancing much was because my head hurt. Thank God she was too selfish to suggest leaving.

  It was a blessing in disguise when Leah trotted off after she was asked to dance, and I was beyond caring about the friend-zone boundaries Julia and I had firmly established. I watched Ellie accompany Julia, who was visibly wobbling on her way to the ladies room and took the opportunity to find out what the dickhead, now known to me as Collin, was up to. I had a slight buzz but nothing like I should have had with the amount of alcohol I’d consumed. I approached where he was talking to yet another of his friends at the bar. He must troll here often, I thought. His back was to me as I took a seat near the end of the bar. He was laughing with his friend, who was patting him hard on the back.

  “Oh, yeah. This is in the bag. She’s really wasted, and I just slipped her an X. Dude, she’s gonna be sucking my dick in an hour and thanking me for it. Maybe yours too.” They both burst out laughing, and I could barely contain myself from grabbing them both and smashing their skulls together.

/>   I paused, blinking. I needed to be certain I’d heard him correctly. Did he say he’d just given Julia Ecstasy? I turned around slowly, hoping he hadn’t seen Julia talking to Leah and me earlier.

  “Excuse me; did you say you had some X?” I asked lazily, my eyes hooded.

  “Oh, yeah!” He was obviously an idiot, saying it so loudly. “Want some?” He moved his shoulder closer to mine so he could hide his hand behind our bodies then opened it revealing five little white pills. “Twenty bucks each.”

  I regarded the two men carefully, gritting my teeth as my fist closed. I huffed, wanting to lay the fucker out on the spot. “No, thanks. I don’t need that shit to get my girl hot and bothered,” I goaded, part of me hoping this prick would take a swing at me. Nothing would make me happier than to pummel that smug grin off his face, but I also knew I had to get Jules out of the club before that shit started fucking her up. Christ!

  “I don’t either. But it just makes inhibitions fly away.” The prick leaned into the bar and smirked. “Poof. It makes bitches do some incredible shit.”

  I inhaled deeply, struggling to keep control as anger exploded deep in my chest. Fuck, I wanted to rip him limb from limb.

  Julia would be pissed when I hauled her little ass out, but that was exactly what I was going to do.

  I glanced toward the bathrooms, and Ellie and Julia were just emerging from the ladies room and heading back to the table. Collin straightened and started to walk around me. “Let me know if you change your mind, man. But make it quick, we’re leaving soon.”

  I contemplated what my next move would be. Leah was happily dancing with another guy. I strode to the middle of the dance floor just as Collin wrapped his arms around Julia, his hands roaming her ass and back. No doubt, the drug was already working because she was clinging to him while he buried his face in her neck and reached up the back hem of her dress.

  “Leah.” I tapped her on the shoulder, and she glanced my way. “We’re leaving.”

  She scowled at me, indignant. “I don’t want to leave. I’m just starting to have fun. You go.”

  “I wouldn’t feel right leaving you here.”

  “I can take care of myself. Rodney will take me home.” She batted her lashes at the scrawny blond dude who was pretending to dance with her. “Right, Rodney?”

  “Yeah.” He nodded and looked me straight in the eye. “Yeah, sure. I can take her home.”

  I felt uneasy about leaving her there, but Julia was going to be a hot mess in a few minutes if she wasn’t already.

  “Whatever.” I didn’t have time to fuck around, and I turned and headed toward Julia. From behind, I tugged her arms from around Collin’s neck and pulled her back against me, my right arm sliding around her waist, and pushing him away. “Let go, asshole. Time to go, Julia.”

  She fought my hold. “I don’t want to go! I’m feeling great! I’m staying!”

  “We gotta go!”

  “Who the fuck are you, anyway, pretty boy? Her dad?”

  “Fuck off.” I easily dismissed him. “Ellie, where’s Julia’s coat?” Julia was pulling my arm that held her fast. My muscles flexed, but I refused to let her go. “We have to get her out of here. Now.”

  “Why?” she asked, confused.

  “Just get her coat. I’ll explain later.”

  Collin grabbed Julia and tried to help her get free. Ellie disappeared into the crowd then returned with Julia’s coat. I used my free hand to shove hard against the cocksucker’s shoulder, making him stumble back. “I said, fuck off, asshole! You can let me leave with her, or I can call the cops, after I pound your ass into the ground.” I pulled out my phone. “Your choice.”

  By now, Julia wasn’t struggling as much. “I feel strange.” She was moving her hand around in front of her face, staring at it like she was in a trance, and she kept pulling her arms away so she could stare at her hands. “My hand. Everything is trailing glow-y rainbows.”

  “How much did she have to drink?” I asked Ellie as I tried to get Julia to put on her coat. She was too busy watching her hand to cooperate.

  “Six or seven shots, maybe? But that was over like three hours, Ryan.”

  “Couldn’t you have waited to get trashed until the rest of us were with you? Oh, screw this!” I gave up with the coat and lobbed it over my shoulder, taking a firm hold on Julia’s upper arm.

  “I feel so warm. Everything is so nice,” Julia murmured, trying to pull away from me. “Collin! I love you! I love you, Collin.”

  “See? She wants to stay with me, asshole,” Collin sneered. “Mind your own fucking business!” He reached for Julia again.

  “Don’t touch her again!” I turned around and let loose, slamming my right fist as hard as I could into his jaw. My hand slid across his mouth and his teeth gnashed across two of my knuckles. He fell flat on his ass. Most of the patrons of the bar were too inebriated to care, but a bouncer from the other side of the bar started to come toward us. My hand started to sting, and I flexed my fingers. I must have cut the skin on his teeth.

  “Ryan! How could you?” Julia shrieked and tried to scramble to his side on the floor. “Collin!”

  My hand was on fire and starting to bleed, but I pulled her back and easily lifted her feet off the ground. “Not happening, Jules. You’re coming with me.”

  “What’s going on here?” The bouncer was big and burly, his head shaved. He had tattoos on his huge arms and neck, and several piercings in his face.

  “You’ll find drugs on him.” I pointed as I began to drag Julia backwards toward the door. “He drugged my friend without her knowledge. I’m getting her out of here before she gets sick. He tried to sell to me at the bar, also. I’m not going to apologize for knocking him on his ass. Nothing was broken, and I don’t want any trouble; I just want to take her home.”

  An astonished Ellie watched it all go down and followed me out. My hand was wrapped around Julia’s wrist like a vice, dragging her out through the door as she fought against me. “Stop! Leave me alone!”

  I didn’t acknowledge her and continued through the dark parking lot toward my black CRV.

  “Ryan, I have my car here. I can take her.”

  “Not a chance, Ellie. I’m taking her back to my place. Aaron’s at Jen’s tonight, and this shit is going to make things weird. Do you feel okay? Did they drug you, too?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Okay, I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “Ryan, I don’t think it’s a good idea for her to go with you.”

  “Why not?” I ignored the implications but the look on her face spoke volumes. “Bye, Ellie.” I called over my shoulder after I turned Julia and started walking.

  Ellie stopped to get into her car as Julia and I continued toward mine. Julia started struggling against my hand, her nails biting into my skin as she tried to pry my fingers from around her wrist. “Why won’t you let me go be with Collin?” She was starting to get angry now. “Why do you care, anyway? I’m surprised you aren’t already balls deep in that skinny skank you were with! Let go, Ryan!”

  Without a word, I bent and hoisted her over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes. “No, Julia. Enough!” Her dress was short, barely covering her ass that was level with my face. She kicked her feet and pummeled my back with her fists. “I’m not going to let you get used by that bastard. You can do what you want when you’re lucid, but it’s not happening when you’re hopped up on that shit. You’ll thank me tomorrow.”

  “You’re supposed to be my best friend!” Julia cried as she bounced a little on my shoulder as I took steady strides to the far end of the lot.

  “Exactly.”

  “I want to go back and be with Collin!”

  “Quiet,” I commanded without breaking my stride. “You don’t know what you want right now. That fucker’s lucky he’s still breathing.”

  It was a winter night, as cold as I’d ever seen it in Northern California, other than that one freak storm Valentine’s Day of sophomore year.
It was maybe thirty or forty degrees, and Julia started to shiver as I deposited her onto the front seat of my CRV and buckled her in. She’d settled down like the flip of a light switch and lightly touched my jaw. I paused to look at her face. Her fingers lingered, and I wanted to lean in to her touch but resisted the urge.

  I knew it was the drug that put that longing look on her face, but damn if I didn’t wish it were real. “I love you, Ryan.”

  “Ten seconds ago, you hated me, Jules. That asshole drugged you. You love everybody right now. That’s the problem.” I shut the door, went around to the driver’s side, and climbed in.

  It took ten minutes to get to my apartment, and in that time, she was pulling at her dress, saying she was hot, then screaming and yanking at her hair, sure that cockroaches were crawling all over her.

  I’d tried Ecstasy once in high school, and it made me feel fucking great, but not until after I thought I was being eaten alive by red ants, and then everything turned into a psychedelic blur. Later, I’d just felt warm and energized and very, very horny. I would have fucked a hole in the wall if that were all I could find, and I hoped to hell Julia didn’t go in that direction. Given my recent and on-going struggle with my reaction to Julia, I knew I wasn’t the best person to be with Julia right now. Ellie had been right, but I didn’t trust anyone else to take care of her. Ellie wouldn’t be strong enough to stop her if she needed to be stopped from doing anything dumb.

  After I parked, Julia was still screaming. I rushed around and pulled her out of the car, grabbing both of her wrists in a frantic effort to keep her from ripping her hair out. “Honey! Julia! Julia, there are no bugs on you!”

  She stopped struggling and moaned, bending over at the waist. She heaved violently at both of our feet, the liquid contents of her stomach splattering sickeningly on the cold concrete, the temperature contrast causing steam to rise. I held her propped up against my body with one arm and pulled her hair back with the other. Julia jerked violently against me for three more heaves. “Gross,” she moaned. “Oh, God.” Her hand pushed her hair back on the side opposite where I was holding