Carved in Ice

by Ivy Smoak

  She released her grip on my arm. “That should have been sarcastic, but it didn’t sound sarcastic.” She paused. “No, this is not how this conversation is supposed to go. I’ve done research. You’re supposed to yell at me and call me a slut.”

  “You just said you didn’t even kiss him yet. And it really doesn’t matter. I’m in love with someone else.”

  “Who?” Her eyes narrowed on my hand as I started knocking on V’s door again. “Not V.”

  I ignored her.

  “You can’t love someone that you don’t even know.”

  “You were in love with him just a few days ago, remember? Besides, I do know him.”

  “Nobody knows him. He wears a mask for God’s sake.”

  I continued knocking.

  She grabbed my arm again to stop me. “Do you know who he is?” Her eyes bulged. “Summer, you have to tell me if you know.”

  “It’s Miles. He’s Miles.”

  “Miles your friend from when you were little?” She shook her head. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

  “Yes, what other Miles is there?”

  “There’s approximately 25,000 in the US alone…”

  “Liza, can you please just tell me where he is?”

  “And if you factor in his last name too, that narrows it down, but it’s still…”

  “Liza! Please just tell me where he is.”

  She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “It’s his night on surveillance.”

  I turned toward our command center.

  “But he’s been going on the roof to do it lately.”

  I smiled and walked past her toward the window. “To look at the stars.”

  “What?”

  “He’s looking at the stars.” He’s waiting for me. My whole body felt warm, and it wasn’t because I was wearing a winter coat indoors. I felt alive. I felt whole again.

  “There’s something else I need to tell you, Summer. We got a better angle of the people that have been hanging out with Mr. Crawford. At least one of them. And you were right. They’re not new recruits. I…” her voice trailed off. “I’m trying to talk to you, where are you going?”

  “Liza, I’ll be back soon. You can fill me in then.” I climbed out the window before she had a chance to reply. I ran up the emergency escape ladder. How was I going to do this? Tell him I knew everything? Attack him in a bear hug? I smiled. I’d tell him he was right. That rocks don’t have brains. That hot chocolate is better with whipped cream. That mint chocolate chip is the best ice cream. And that my life isn’t complete without him.

  I stepped onto the roof of our building, but he wasn’t there. I pulled out my phone and clicked on V’s name. Each ring made my heart race. I had been waiting my whole life to tell him how I felt. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could wait. I was about to burst.

  The ringing stopped but all I heard was silence. “Hello? V?”

  More silence.

  “Are you there?”

  “I’ve been here the whole time,” he finally said. And then the line was dead.

  I’ve been here the whole time? Did he know that I knew? I looked up at the sky. The snow had stopped and the clouds had parted. There were two places I would go on a clear night to be closer to the stars. The observatory or the roof of our old dorm building. And he’d be dressed like V if he was on surveillance. Which ruled the observatory out.

  He knew. He absolutely knew. And he was waiting for me. I had told Miles that I loved him when I was Sadie. He wanted to go back to that moment. He wanted us to do it right this time.

  I took a deep breath, ran as fast as I could, and leapt off the edge of the building.

  Chapter 31

  Monday

  I landed softly on the other side of the roof as Miles. He was leaning against the ledge, staring down at the city below. I slowly stood up. Eli’s words tumbled through my head. About how Miles and I broke each other. How we both needed a fresh start. And how badly Miles wanted to save me after all these years.

  I wiped away a tear that had trailed down my cheek. I had stopped watching Disney movies after my parents died. I completely stopped believing in fairy tales and happily ever afters when I was sent to live with Don.

  But in my heart I knew that wasn’t true. All along I knew that Miles was my knight in shining armor. My prince. My happily ever after. I touched the center of my chest. Even though there was a winter coat in the way, my Sagitta pendant was there. It was like I could feel my heart beating against it. It had always been Miles and me. We were written in the stars. And it was finally time for me to tell him how I truly felt. How I’d always felt.

  Yes, I felt broken when I thought he stopped writing. When I thought he had abandoned me. And I know he felt the same. But it was all a lie. Our hearts had never stopped beating for each other. I wiped away another tear. We broke each other, but now we had our whole lives to put the pieces back together.

  I took a deep breath. “You were right, you know. Rocks don’t have brains.”

  I thought he’d turn, but he didn’t.

  “And hot chocolate is better with whipped cream. And mint chocolate chip ice cream has always been my favorite ever since I started sharing it with you.” I laughed, remembering tackling him in his family room in order to get my bowl back.

  But he didn’t laugh. He didn’t say anything at all.

  “I know it’s you, Miles. Who else would try so hard to keep me safe? Who else in this whole world cares about me but you?”

  He just continued to look down at the street. What was he doing? The stars were what was worth looking at. Not the city streets. “Miles?” I started walking toward him.

  “I’ve been here the whole time,” he said.

  No. No, it wasn’t him. I froze. It was his voice, but it was louder than it should have been from this distance. It sounded like a recording. And it was the same thing he had said on the phone.

  “I’ve been here the whole time,” the recording said again.

  I started to run toward him, but skidded to a stop when lights flooded the rooftop. For the first time I realized that Miles’ body was hunched forward at an awkward angle. But the snow at his feet was all I could look at. It was dyed a deep crimson, stained with his blood.

  “Miles?” My voice came out as a croak.

  A shadowy figure emerged from behind an air-conditioning unit beside Miles. I knew who it was before he even stepped into the light. Before his laughter broke through the frigid air like a knife.

  “Hello, doll,” Don said. The light hit his face, revealing the burns I had given him.

  Fear gripped my heart and I stepped back. I wanted to run. My whole life all I had done was run. My eyes focused on Miles. If there was anything in this life worth fighting for, it was him. I held my ground and swallowed hard.

  “You’re not going to say hello?” Don stopped right beside Miles. “Your friend wasn’t very welcoming either.”

  I put my fake face on. The one I always wore around him to try and prove he didn’t bother me. And I hoped to God he couldn’t see through my mask tonight. “What did you do to him?”

  “The notorious V?” Don laughed. “What does it look like? He fell right into my trap. Just like you did.”

  There were some muffled sounds and then a recording of my voice started. “In trouble, V.” My voice echoed around me. “Don’s been following…” the recording cut out.

  It sounded like I was panicking. “How did you get a recording of my voice?” I touched my throat. I didn’t remember saying those words. Parts of it had definitely been cut away. It felt like Don was worming his way into my soul. Owning every part of me again. Controlling my voice.

  Don tilted his head to the side like he was examining me. “I don’t like what you’ve done with your hair. Why would you dye it?”

  “Are you joking? I’ve been hiding from you.” I knew he was violent. But with everything that had happened, it was getting clearer that he was also insane. A
ll of this was complete madness.

  “Hiding from me?” He laughed. “I’ve had tabs on you as soon as I stepped foot in this city. I had to keep you away from prying eyes.”

  Whose prying eyes? I shook my head.

  “No, you were hiding from him. Right?” He pointed to Miles. “And why I wonder? All those notes you wrote him.” A smile spread across his face, stretching the scars on his cheek until they shimmered in the light. “Why on earth would you hide from him after all these years?” He grabbed the back of V’s hood and lowered it.

  If I had any doubts about who V was, they disappeared. I’d recognize that color brown anywhere. The curve of his neck. “Don’t touch him!”

  “Because you can’t hide from me, Summer,” he said, ignoring me. “I own this city. The good.” He straightened his tie. “The bad. And every inch in between. You can’t possibly do better than me.”

  Was he trying to win me over? That couldn’t be what this was about. I couldn’t be the reason why the streets were filled with crime. Why he became mayor. He had never wanted to win me over before. He just took me. He took me without asking. Again and again and again. I felt the tears falling down my cheeks.

  “This can all end tonight. Just come home, Summer.”

  His words echoed around me, swirling with my memories. How many times had V told me to go home? I stared at his back. V had been telling me to go to Miles. Miles had always been home to me. And he wanted me to go home where I belonged, right next to his side. He was waiting for me to choose him. And now I was worried I was too late.

  “Home isn’t a place, Don. It’s a feeling.”

  “You’ve always been naïve. Just like your mother.”

  There were pieces of my mother’s story that I didn’t understand. I had held her on a pedestal my whole life. But she may have cheated on my father. She may not have been the woman I thought I knew. That didn’t mean he could judge her though. He ruined her life just like he ruined mine. And he may have taken her life too. “I know what you did.”

  “Which thing?”

  The way he said it made the little hairs on the back of my neck rise. I was done playing his games. I grabbed my gun as fast as I could and held it out in front of me. “Step away from him.”

  Don didn’t move. “Or what? You’ll shoot me?” He laughed and placed his hand on Miles’ shoulder.

  “I swear to God, Don.” My hands were shaking. I wasn’t sure if it was because of the cold or my own fear. But I knew if I took the shot I might miss. It was like all my training evaporated as soon as I saw Don. And I couldn’t afford to miss when Miles was so close. “Get the fuck away from him!”

  “That’s enough, doll. You’re coming with me.” He nodded and someone grabbed me from behind. My gun skidded away from me. I kicked and screamed, but whoever it was just held me tighter.

  Don patted Miles’ shoulder. “Come morning, the whole city will know the identity of the New York City vigilante. And that their beloved mayor made sure that V would no longer be terrorizing this city.” He pushed Miles forward and his body toppled over the ledge.

  Chapter 32

  Monday

  An ear piercing scream made my eardrums feel like they might burst. It sounded like something was dying a brutal death. I didn’t even realize that the sound was coming from me until I needed to take a breath. I screamed again as soon as I could. The agony needed to escape from me and screaming was the only way I knew how.

  The man holding me in place loosened his grip, probably trying to get away from the awful noise I was making.

  I pulled my arm back fast and elbowed him straight in his Adam’s apple. Twice.

  He wheezed and grunted, but didn’t let go of me. So I lifted my foot and slammed my heel between the man’s legs. He immediately dropped me.

  I landed in the slush on my hands and knees. But I didn’t feel the coldness against my palms. All I could feel were flames. There was no time to think. I held my breath and ran as fast as I could. For one second.

  If I leapt off the side of the building could I reach Miles before he hit the sidewalk below?

  For two seconds. How high up were we?

  For three seconds. Could I break his fall?

  For four seconds. None of it mattered. I had to try.

  For five seconds.

  But before I could jump, Don caught me around my waist. I screamed again, the sound piercing the quiet night.

  And for just a moment, it felt like I was back in time. After Don had cut me with a knife. After he killed my baby. I could feel all the hope draining out of me again. And then my mind turned, taking me back further. When I realized my parents were never coming home. My body felt numb.

  But this? It was the third time in my life that I let Don take everything away from me. And this time I had no fight left. No hope of a better tomorrow. He had officially taken everything from me now. Every. Single. Fucking thing.

  “There, there.” His voice oozed with insincere sweetness.

  His cologne filled my lungs. I let my body fold in half, limp in his arms. I was broken. My heart shattered into a million tiny pieces on the sidewalk with Miles’ body. What was the point in fighting when I had nothing left to fight for?

  The haunting scream tried to escape my throat again but it came out as only a whisper.

  Chapter 33

  Tuesday

  My eyes flew open and I took a huge gulp of air. I took a deep breath to slow my rapid heart rate. It was just a bad dream. I blinked, trying to get the dark room to come into focus. It was just a bad dream.

  But the room was all wrong as my eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness. It was empty and emotionless. The air was stale. I pushed the covers off of me and stared down at the white plush robe I was wrapped in. Was I in a hotel?

  God, it wasn’t a dream. It felt like I was choking as I scrambled out of bed. I ran my fingers around on the nightstand until I found a light switch. As soon as the light came on I found the room’s phone and lifted it to my ear. But there was no dial tone. I looked down at the cord. It was dangling beside me, unattached to the phone’s base. Damn it!

  I looked around for my clothes. My cell phone had to be here somewhere. I turned around in a circle. But the room was empty besides for me. I ran into the bathroom and switched on the light.

  When I saw my reflection in the mirror, I backed up and almost tripped into the tub. I put my hand over my mouth as I stared at myself. My hair was red again.

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This isn’t happening. But when I opened my eyes, my hair was still red. That sick bastard dyed my hair? I barely recognized myself. Maybe I really wasn’t Summer anymore. Just like V said. Miles. I turned away from the mirror.

  I had to get fucking out of here. I ran out of the bathroom and over to the window. It was sealed shut. I lifted up the broken phone and slammed it against the glass. Nothing. I hit it again.

  “We’re on the 20th floor, doll,” Don said from behind me.

  My hand froze and the phone fell to the ground.

  “What, do you think you can fly? You’re not a superhero like your boyfriend.” He chuckled. “Like he was I mean.”

  Like he was. His words echoed around me. I turned around to face the devil himself.

  He was smiling at me. That smug look on his face that I loathed so much.

  “You look better now,” he said.

  I felt like throwing up.

  He stepped toward me

  I’m going to kill you. I knew it wasn’t the right time to threaten him. Not when I was caged in here like an animal. So I bit my tongue. But it had been a long time since I was this close to him. I could easily picture blood gushing from his throat. Dripping from his mouth. Seeping into his chest. I smiled.

  “There’s my girl,” he said and touched the bottom of my chin.

  The smile vanished from my face. “I don’t belong to you or anyone else.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong. You’ve always been min
e.”

  I stepped back so that his fingers fell from my face. “Don, you need to let me go. The cops are looking for me. You made me a wanted criminal. They’ll find me and they’ll see that we’re connected. You’ll go down for everything you did. You…”

  “I’m not scared of the cops,” he said and laughed. “Every time we moved, the first thing I always did was get the cops in my pocket. Haven’t you been paying attention to anything around you? I fucking own everything in this city. Every single thing.” His eyes raked over my body.

  I used to think I’d never get away from him. That I’d be trapped in his clutches for my whole life. But now that I’d gotten a taste of freedom? I couldn’t go back. And I knew I never would. He couldn’t possibly control all of me. “You can do whatever you want to me. But you’ll never have my heart.”

  He shook his head and walked over to the mini bar. “Are you thirsty, Summer?”

  I didn’t answer him.

  He twisted off the cap to one of the bottles. “I tried to keep you away from that little shit. All those letters.” He shook his head.

  I didn’t doubt what Miles said about the letters was true. It was different hearing the truth from Don though. How had I not figured that out when I was little? Of course Don had taken my letters. Of course he had. He had taken the one thing I had left in my life and tainted it.

  “Young love is such a complicated thing.”

  He tipped his head back and drained the bottle. He set it down and lifted up another.

  “I was just trying to save you from the pain of rejection.”

  “You mean like how my mother rejected you?”

  Anger flashed across his face. He licked his lips as he stared at me. “Your mother didn’t reject me. She was just scared of taking a chance. She loved me and I loved her.”

  I shook my head. “That woman you sent to do your dirty work. My aunt. She told me the truth about what happened in the woods that day.”

  “The truth? You can’t believe everything you hear, doll. It was her truth. And everyone’s truths are bathed in lies.”

  “Which is why I don’t believe a word that comes out of your mouth.”