Before We Say Goodbye

by JN Welsh

  He was right, like Flor and Riley were right. Even if only for their kids and peace of mind, not fighting all the time would be a bonus if that were all that resulted from this trip.

  "Okay."

  "You sure you don't want me to drive, Nigel?" Olive asked him.

  "Are you seriously asking me, twenty minutes from our destination?" He laughed.

  "Every little bit helps," she assured him.

  "Right." He gave her a side-eyed glance. "It's cool, I got this."

  "Your choice." She shrugged. "I did offer."

  Dusk was upon them, and with no streetlights to guide their travel, Nigel was glad that their friends had suggested they meet up before dark. Speaking of their friends, he hadn't heard much from Flor or Riley besides a few curt reminder texts throughout the day and wondered if they'd given up on them.

  At breakfast when he and Olive argued, Flor’s almost motherly glare had beckoned him to confess to Olive the truth behind why he refused to dissolve their non-monetary agreement. But the timing wasn't right. He didn't know if it would ever be right, especially having gone this far down the rabbit hole. If he told Olive too soon or too late that he’d known about the non-monetary agreement before they separated and in order to force this trip on them, then she’d get angry, insist that they go home to the kids, and feel betrayed and manipulated. He'd have to find a way to test out the situation before he took that chance.

  "Are Flor and Riley behind us?" Nigel asked.

  "No, I mean..." Olive bit her lip. "I hadn't really thought about them on the drive. Maybe they're mad at us for this morning?" Olive pulled out her phone and dialed Riley on speakerphone.

  "What's up, Olive Juice?" Riley’s breathless greeting filled the cabin.

  "Where are you? Are you guys behind us?"

  "No, we're already in Carmel. We just checked into the inn about fifteen minutes ago and I just lugged my stuff to my room and Flor's to hers."

  "I was wondering why you sounded like you just finished twelve rounds with…I thought maybe I caught you in a compromising position," Olive teased.

  "You're funny. How close are you and Nigel?" Riley asked.

  "Twenty minutes tops," Nigel answered.

  "Cool. You'll have a little time to freshen up before you have dinner in town at Mauricio's Grill House."

  "Mauricio's!" A wide smile spread across his wife's face. She glanced at him.

  "Yes!" He loved that place, too.

  "Drive safe and see you soon," Riley said.

  They hung up and Olive dropped her phone in the cup holder.

  "The food is delicious there. They're going to roll me out of that place, like last time." He chuckled.

  Olive laughed. "You and me, both."

  * * *

  Carmel's quaint downtown greeted them. The inn was not far from the town’s welcome sign and Nigel thought of the last time he was here. The image of him strolling down the street hand and hand with Olive after they'd visited Carmel Mission was as clear as if he watched it on screen. They arrived at the hotel and as he and Olive decompressed from all of the driving, Riley and Flor, accompanied by their big personalities, piled into their room.

  "How was the drive?" Flor crossed her arms. "Did things get better from this morning?"

  His bestie was definitely still stewing over what happened at breakfast.

  "Yeah." Olive pulled Flor down on the bed with her. "I'm sorry about this morning. You guys are just trying to do your job. Let's kiss and make up." Olive puckered.

  "Get outta here with that." Flor laughed when Olive didn't quit.

  "Not until you accept my apology." Olive kissed Flor's cheek and shoulder.

  "All right, all right!" Flor screamed. "Loca."

  Nigel enjoyed the playfulness between Olive and Flor, and then he addressed Riley. "Did you guys do anything interesting or did you drive straight here?"

  "We chilled in Santa Monica for a little while and then had lunch at Hearst Castle. That place is ridiculous," Riley said. "It's straight out of a fairytale, from the amount of land to the intricate details of the castle itself. I mean you get bussed up to the castle. They may call it castle grounds. I call it a city." Riley air quoted castle grounds, which hinted to too much time spent with Flor.

  Nigel laughed. He and Olive had been to the castle. They had appreciated the history, promenaded the grounds, and marveled at all the Visitors Center had to offer. But Hearst Castle was different from the vibe they'd tried to infuse into their divorce list, which may have explained why the castle hadn't made the list. "Glad you got to do something cool."

  "Yeah, man," Riley chanted.

  "I had to do a little work on the drive, but we had some fun, too," Flor added. "But now we're back together, so you know you have something coming up tonight."

  Olive attempted to contain her excitement. "Mauricio's."

  "Yup. Your dress has to be more fancy than jeans and sneakers so I hope you brought something nice. If not, you can walk downtown because it's literally across the street. Some shops may still be open but you better book it, if you need to make it."

  "We got some images you guys captured along the route," Riley noted. "We're pretty proud of you."

  Nigel chest puff a bit more.

  "Thanks, Riley," Olive said.

  "Drinks are at seven-thirty and dinner is at eight. We have reservations so don't be late," Flor announced as she hugged Olive.

  "Got it." Nigel also received a hug from Flor. "Now go so we can change."

  Their friends left and he and Olive readied for their night in Carmel. Things were feeling like old times and he welcomed their return.

  Chapter Nine

  "You clean up real nice." Nigel appraised her when he came out to the bathroom.

  "Thanks." Olive flashed back to the moment she threw the soft, elegant, long-sleeved charcoal gray pant romper into her luggage. She didn't know if she would have occasion to wear it but still had thought it was dressy enough if she did. Her cheeks warmed. She had thought that Nigel would like the deep neckline and backless design on her. Perhaps, deep down she’d wanted to remind Nigel of what he’d be missing when this was all over or to torture him for not dissolving the agreement. As she smoothed the material against her body, she was glad she looked nice.

  She wasn't the only one stylin'. "So do you."

  Salmon pants didn’t suite everyone, but Nigel pulled it off, pairing it with a fitted white button down shirt. The deep brown of his belt was the perfect accent. He often made good fashion choices, but she had to face facts—Nigel could make leaves and twigs GQ if he slapped them on his body.

  They walked hand in hand down the main road, passing the quaint clothing and sweet shops. They passed a Greek restaurant where they'd had lunch ages ago.

  "This town brings back so many memories." Olive loved Carmel. In general she liked quaint little towns as opposed to big cities. When she'd been here with Nigel back in their younger years, the place was enchanting.

  "This was our first stop after camping in Big Sur. Having a proper shower was so necessary." Nigel laughed.

  "So true." She shook her head. "We rolled out of there like one big dirt ball."

  “You cleaned up real nice back then, too.” His sexy tone slipped over her like her old college sweater that she’d never wanted to part with. They had driven through the town, but had walked most of it, blazing down the enchanted main street and holding hands like they did now. She had worn a fancy black dress for Riley's award ceremony.

  When she and Nigel had finished camping, she had needed a change for something fancier, in addition to wanting to look nice for him. When they arrived at the inn, she’d put on the dress.

  "Oh baby, you’re so pretty," he had said softly, as if someone had pressed his stomach to get the air out of him.

  She was in a constant blush because he wouldn't take his eyes off her. Nigel had decided he'd dress a little nicer, too. He had run to one of the downtown shops and got himself a pair of natural
colored linen pants and white shirt all of which she had watched him meticulously iron in his underwear.

  "Damn, Nigel! You're a bonafide sizzler. I'd totally drop my panties for you,” she had teased. "Oh, my bad. I already have."

  His attire since she’d met him had been swim shorts and a tee shirt, or naked.

  He had overpowered her with handsome, like he did now. She didn't know how they're clothes had stayed on or how they'd had the willpower to even make it out to dinner.

  "Look there." He pointed.

  Olive gasped. "The cheese shop. Such a cheese lover’s dream."

  "Or the lactose intolerant person's nightmare," Nigel offered.

  Olive gasped. The memories came flooding back. "That poor lady." Olive had known all about lactose intolerance when she lived in Connecticut with her sister, Nora. Nora would occasionally take her chances with dairy and every time the effects were awful. When Olive and Nigel were at the shop, a woman took her chances with diary, too. Her gut retaliation was immediate and had the woman scrambling to the bathroom.

  "I was so glad we got the cheese for our picnic before that happened because at one point I didn't know if I was smelling cheese or what." Nigel admitted.

  "Aww gross." Olive laughed through the grimace. "But you're right. If we hadn't gotten our cheese, I may have sworn off the stuff for a long time."

  "Tell me about it. Fun times at the cheese shop," he teased "Here we are." Nigel ushered her inside Mauricio’s.

  Olive breathed again. When she entered the restaurant, the familiar scent from the open indoor grill was heaven. The place had gotten a facelift, but the ambiance was still warm and inviting.

  Flor and Riley sat at the mahogany bar with drinks in hand.

  "Que linda, mama. You so sexy." Flor kissed Olive on the cheek like she hadn't seen her about two hours ago, then turned to Nigel. "So handsome."

  "Thanks." Nigel narrowed his eyes. "How long have you guys been here?"

  "Half hour maybe." Riley sipped the amber liquor settling at the bottom of his sweating glass.

  "Number one?" Olive eyed Riley's drink.

  "For me." Riley smiled and stirred his drink. "Flor got a little bad news before we arrived so she's trying to get happy." Riley air quoted with drink in in hand.

  "I'm fine," Flor sulked. "A project I was really excited about got cancelled. I'll get over it."

  Olive watched Flor take a gulp of her drink. She draped an arm around Flor's shoulder. "Sorry, girl."

  "Another one will come up, Flor. You're too good for it not to," Nigel encouraged.

  "That's what I told her," Riley chimed in.

  "It just sucks, you know?" Flor's lips twisted in disappointment.

  "Well, we're here together and right now that's all that matters. So let's have a good time tonight. We'll cheer you up." Olive had always been impressed with Flor's work hustle. She was really on top of her game and recognized in a male driven industry as a media expert. Flor loved her work but it was volatile with projects shutting down, even after tons of planning.

  She and Nigel ordered drinks and the friends enjoyed each other's company. Reminiscing about old times.

  "If I'd never gone to Connecticut for summer camp when I was in sixth grade, I'd never have met Olive, so you can all thank me," Riley announced.

  "How do you figure?" Olive asked.

  "We became besties that summer, even though Olive was a kid."

  Olive scoffed. "Yeah, a whopping year younger, but continue."

  "Then years later we went off to college. OJ came to visit me during spring break my senior year when I'd won that ingenuity award from my internship. Just thought I'd throw that fact into the mix."

  "Ay Dios," Flor groaned. "Can you finish your warped logic, please?"

  "Me, OJ, and some friends went to Ferret's party to celebrate because that was going to be the party of the year. That's when Nigel rolled up with that weak rap game." Riley laughed.

  "Weak?" Nigel raised an eyebrow. "Olive drove up the coast with me, we got married, and have three amazing kids. I'd say my rap game was titanium strong." Nigel brushed his shoulders.

  Olive and Flor giggled side by side.

  "He's got a point," Flor said.

  Riley dipped his head as if considering the statement. "True. Respect, man." Riley and Nigel connected fists.

  Nigel did his "I know I'm right" dance and Olive tried to recollect the last time she saw him do that silly shoulder and booty shimmy.

  "Anyway, when Olive and Nigel got up to Berkley that's when Olive met Flor. See?" Riley finished with eagle pride. "You're welcome."

  "Thanks, Riley," Nigel said, and placed his arm around the back of Olive’s chair.

  Olive leapt out of her seat as Nigel’s hand skimmed the middle to lower part of her back. Everyone noticed.

  “I'm-I didn’t mean…” Nigel shoved his hand in his pockets and took a step away.

  Olive settled back into her seat

  Earlier, she and Nigel had a good time sharing memories, but the unexpected intimate connection again reminded her of how far from the real thing they’d strayed. She didn’t know what to say and the jovial mood was tainted with the reality of her and Nigel’s situation.

  "Seriously though, guys. I haven't forgotten why we're here and what's happening between you two." Riley jutted his head toward her and Nigel. "But we're a quartet of friends. Aren’t we?”

  “Yes we are,” Flor said. She nudged Olive’s shoulder and raised her glass to Riley’s. “And that's a blessing. So cheers to us."

  Olive was overcome with gratitude for all that she had, even if it was sprinkled with the end to her and Nigel's relationship, as they once knew it. "Cheers," she said.

  They clinked glasses.

  "Your tables are ready." The maître d' interrupted.

  Olive stood up and Nigel immediately went for her hand but stopped. “May I?” he asked. Olive still hadn’t found the courage to utter any words to Nigel and nodded her permission. They'd spent every minute of the last thirty-six hours together and between the freeing ocean and their chatter, she felt more like herself, free-flowing, sensual, adventurous, and not just a mom. She hadn’t jumped out of her seat because Nigel’s touch felt strange. She literally ran away from how much more of his caresses she wanted.

  Flor noticed their hand connection and smiled in a butter melting kind of way that made Olive want to give her a hug. "Enjoy dinner guys."

  Their friends wanted them to workout so badly and the thought that they might disappoint them pinched Olive’s heart.

  "We'll reconnect at the inn." Riley gave them a wink and led Flor to their table.

  "They're really great friends." Olive's sentiment bubbled out of her.

  "They are."

  The window seat in Mauricio's was a picturesque display of passersby through the charming town and was in stark contrast to array of conflicting emotions within him. As they chomped on warm soft bread, he reprimanded himself for not correctly reading his wife and potentially ruining what progress they’d made the last day and a half. They placed their order for the grill master's selection. In addition, they ordered a few resist-proof starters.

  "I'll have the mac and cheese with bacon and lobster."

  "And I'll have the oysters," Nigel said. "But we're sharing."

  "A bottle of wine for the table or will you be staying with the paring selections?" their waiter asked.

  "The pairing selections," they both confirmed.

  "And more of our signature bread for the table?"

  "God, yes," Olive said.

  He choked on his water as his body shook with laughter.

  Their waiter also smiled. “It’s a favorite among our patrons.”

  Once they placed their order, they sat in comfortable silence. A cool breeze floated in through the window and Olive closed her eyes. He wished he were the breeze caressing her skin and prompting such a delicious smile. His heart raced as his eyes devoured his wife. She wore a thin gold c
hain that hung down to her waist layered with the chain securing his wedding band. Her hair was wrapped and sat like a crown up on her head. He loved the regal style as much as he loved when her locks swung loose around her. He longed to run his fingers along the tendrils the way he’d always done in the past but if a small touch on her back sent her booking it in the other direction, he was a long way from twisting his fingers in her locks. He still had work to do.

  "What has you smiling like that?" Nigel asked. Though he'd hoped she'd say something about their time together, he expected her to say something about the kids.

  "I'm trying to remember everywhere we went. We did so much. I wonder where we told ourselves to go next."

  Her excitement lifted his heart. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were starting to enjoy this journey." He smoothed his growing beard.

  "I'd forgotten what this kind of freedom feels like. You know, the way we did back when we first drove the coast. So, yeah...part of me has felt some enjoyment and happiness. If that makes any sense," she said. "You?"

  That was a trick question. Even with the bumps they'd had so far traveling California State Route 1, he didn't want to be anywhere else but with her. "It's been great revisiting these memories, Olive. Our memories."

  "This was really special, wasn't it? Everything that's happened from us meeting to our babies and our life together." Olive's eyes glistened. "It wasn't just something that happened. It was special."

  Part of him was glad she opened up to him, but the other feared she'd already mourned the end. "Every fucking minute was special. And this..." He leaned in and squeezed her hand. "This is special, too."

  Her thumb grazed the side of his hand. "Yes, it is."

  Nigel let her hand go and leaned back.

  "So what was the best part of today for you?"

  "Hands down, seeing you with the elephant seals. That will never get old."

  He placed a hand on his chest. "They have my heart."

  Olive’s shoulders shook in humor. "What was yours?"

  "That's tough. I have so many."