The Year of Living Shamelessly

by Susanna Carr

  She waited in the long, winding line, impatiently tapping her toe to the beat of “Jingle Bell Rock” that played on the loudspeakers. How much longer would she have to wait? She was down to six days to seduce Ryder and every second was crucial. She peered over the shoulders of the women in front of her and glanced down the corridor of dressing rooms.

  One of the doors opened and a tall, gorgeous woman stepped out of a dressing room. Katie’s stomach did a pitch and roll as she recognized that shade of peroxide blonde. It was Tatum. Katie watched with reluctant admiration as the woman whirled around in the mythical freakum dress.

  Where had she found that dress? Did she know someone? Did she live under a lucky shopping star, or had she simply sold her soul to the devil? The snug gold dress looked like it was tailored just for Tatum.

  She looked like a sex goddess. Someone who could tame Zeus himself. She was going to turn heads wherever she went in that dress that clung to her like a second skin. No other woman could compete with that vision.

  Katie hid behind the customer in front of her as Tatum called out for her friend Sasha. Sasha appeared, wearing a bold orange halter dress that barely skimmed the top of her toned, skinny thighs. Sasha wasn’t in the sex goddess league, but she was still a threat to the mere mortals of Crystal Bend.

  “What do you think?” Tatum asked her friend as she twirled around in front of the big three-way mirror. “Ryder won’t be able to say no to me if I’m wearing this.”

  As Sasha wholeheartedly agreed, Katie looked up at the ceiling. Why? Why must Tatum go after Ryder? Katie knew she was going to have enough problems getting that man into her bed without this kind of in-your-face competition.

  Katie looked down at the red dress clutched in her hands and knew it wasn’t going to be enough ammunition for her manhunt. She needed something wild. Breathtaking.

  She suddenly knew what she had to do. Katie quietly stepped out of the line and tossed the dress on the rack of unwanted clothes. The kind of outfit she needed wasn’t going to be found in a department store. She needed to think out of the box and out of the city limits.

  Katie kicked the shopping bags to the side and stared at her reflection in her closet mirror. It wasn’t quite the freakum dress she had planned, it was something a little bit more unexpected. Outrageous. And quite possibly an expensive mistake. Katie frowned and looked at herself from every possible angle.

  PVC was a heartless bitch. It was a good thing she went to the gym five times a week. And that she had been waxed and buffed to within an inch of her life before the holiday celebrations. The black polyvinyl vest and pants were smooth and shiny. The vest lifted, hugged and molded her breasts, exaggerating her curves. The pants fitted so snugly that it looked as if oil was painted onto her legs.

  The outfit definitely met her requirements. It was wild—although not as wild as other things she could have selected from the sex shop—and the PVC was doing its best to take her breath away. She grabbed a vintage black leather jacket from her closet and put it on. She tugged at the lapels and studied her reflection. She looked tough in the outfit. Hard-bitten. And, yet, oddly familiar.

  She shifted from one leg to the other, pouting her red lips. She had seen someone wearing this before. Who did it remind her of? Katie’s eyes widened when it suddenly hit her.

  Oh. My. God. She looked like Sandy in Grease. All she needed to do was fluff up her hair and sing “You’re the One That I Want” to complete the picture.

  Katie whipped off the jacket and tossed it onto her bed. She looked back into the full-length mirror and studied the black vest. Now she just looked like a biker chick. Or maybe a groupie for a hard rock band.

  Had she gone from Sandy to slut? Not that it was necessarily a bad thing. . . . Should she play it safe and grab a T-shirt, or should she play it shamelessly?

  She heard the knock on the kitchen door. The pounding was fierce. Katie glanced at the clock as her heart started to gallop. Her plan was already in action. She wasn’t ready!

  Katie gave one last look in the mirror before she left her bedroom. It looked like shamelessly was going to win. At least she was embracing her daring side.

  She strolled to the kitchen as best she could in the PVC pants. Her bare feet were cold on the linoleum floor. Goose bumps prickled her bare arms, but she knew that wasn’t from the cold as much as it was from anticipation.

  Katie opened the back door without checking in the window. She had a strong feeling Ryder was on the other side because she had made sure he would hear a piece of gossip he couldn’t ignore. She looked up and Ryder immediately towered over her. His hands clutched the sides of the door frame as he leaned in. She felt surrounded by him.

  Oh, sweet mother of . . . Ryder’s mind fizzled to a blank. He blinked hard and stared at Katie. His cock stirred as he took in every inch of the black outfit that coated her sexy body.

  He didn’t think he was going to be able to keep his hands off her for long. He’d struggled enough with his self-control years ago when she’d worn dresses in soft, feminine colors that accented her curves. When she had the grace and beauty of a princess and he wouldn’t dare touch her.

  Those were the good old days. He hadn’t been able to take his eyes off her, but he had been able to keep his distance. Then she gave herself a makeover. The skin-tight jeans raised his temperature and the sexy outfits begged for his touch. He’d fought hard not to accept the silent invitation, and there were moments when he’d almost surrendered, but he’d always managed to hold himself in check.

  But this outfit . . . oh, God. It was going to be his downfall. The shiny fabric had him mesmerized. Her breasts were thrust out, demanding his attention. It was Katie at her most aggressive, most brazen. She was shamelessly advertising her body and her need for hot and dirty sex.

  His hands clenched the door frame while his blood roared through his veins. The lust was so strong he was surprised his knees didn’t buckle from the impact. He clenched his teeth and a muscle in his jaw bunched. He was afraid to speak, knowing that his tongue was going to hang out, or worse, that he would say something he could never take back.

  “Hi, Ryder,” he heard her say over the buzzing in his ears. Katie swung the door open wider. “I didn’t expect to see you.”

  “Right.” His gaze traveled down the length of her body and he watched her nipples tighten in response. His skin was hot and prickly, his clothes suddenly constricting. He had to get out of here, get far away from Katie, but he couldn’t leave. Not yet.

  He gestured at her and immediately stuffed his hands in his coat pockets. He didn’t trust his ability to keep his hands off her. “What are you wearing?” His voice was rough and low.

  She placed one hand on the door frame and the other on her jutted hip. “Just something I picked up at the mall. Oh, like you’ve never seen PVC clothing before.”

  Ryder felt his throat tighten. “Not on you,” he said hoarsely.

  “What do you think?” she asked as she twirled around, sliding her hands over her chest and waist before gliding them over her hips.

  She looked ready for a bondage club. Damn, the rumor was true. It was only a half hour ago that Jake was laughing his ass off over nothing while they were packing up Ryder’s apartment. Jake thought it was hysterical that Katie had asked for directions to the bondage club in Seattle. The thought of Katie in that place had Jake rolling on the floor with rib-cracking laughter.

  Ryder didn’t find it funny at all. One minute he was staring at Jake in horror, and the next he found himself banging his fist on Katie’s door. He wanted to believe it was all a joke, but he knew Katie, and seeing her in that outfit confirmed his worst fears.

  Unlike Jake, he could imagine Katie walking into the club looking like that. She would have to beat off the men with a stick. But that wouldn’t stop them. They would be crazed with lust like he was right now, promising her anything just to fulfill one fantasy with her. Katie would be in over her head and deep in trouble, but wouldn’t d
iscover it until she was trapped, chained to the wall.

  Hell, he wasn’t in the club and he was tempted to make some impossible promise just to fulfill one fantasy. In fact, he wanted to skip the negotiation part and tie Katie down onto the kitchen floor right here, right now, peel off her clothes and explore every inch of her.

  Nothing was stopping him. She sure wouldn’t. And that knowledge cut through the fog of lust like nothing else. If he wasn’t careful, he would take her like an animal. He would overpower her, seduce her into something she didn’t understand and couldn’t control. She would hate him for it, and that was one thing he couldn’t live with.

  “You’re not wearing that outside this house,” he ordered in a low growl and clamped his mouth shut. The less he said about her outfit, the better.

  That’s it? Katie frowned. That’s all he had to say? She was sure this outfit would provoke a bigger reaction. “We’ll see about that,” she said, hiding her disappointment, and took a step to the side to let him enter the house. “Come on in, Ryder. What brings you here? Did you forget something?”

  Ryder stepped inside and pushed the door closed behind him. “I know what you’re planning and you can forget about it.”

  “Hmmm . . .” She strolled to the kitchen table. “Could you be more specific?”

  “A bondage club?” His voice echoed in the small kitchen. “You want to go to a bondage club?”

  “Where did you hear that?” she asked as she sat on the corner of the table.

  “What did you expect when you asked your brother for directions to the closest bondage club? Or was that the point?” He moved closer to her. “Give it to me straight: Were you teasing him?”

  She shrugged one shoulder. “Maybe.” She needed to keep Ryder guessing.

  Ryder frowned and stood right in front of her. He placed his hands on either side of her legs and leaned forward. “Katie, I’m trying to look out for you, that’s all. You are not going to any club.”

  “Ryder, you can’t tell me what to do.” She couldn’t let his intimidation tactics work on her.

  “Yes, I can,” he replied. “I’ve been doing it for years.”

  “Yes, and there were times when I actually appreciated it.” She tilted her face up and looked straight into his eyes. “But those days are gone. You’re moving soon, remember? And you weren’t even planning to tell me about it.”

  “What does that have to do with anything? You don’t belong in those nasty places.”

  “How would you know?” she asked and then faked a surprised look. “Have you been to one?”

  Ryder stared into her eyes and suddenly looked away.

  “You have,” she said in a whisper and leaned forward eagerly. “What’s it like?”

  Ryder straightened to his full height. “Who told you?”

  “Told me what?” Katie batted her eyelashes. She hoped she appeared innocent and flirty, but his answer was confirmation. He really was into bondage, and if she wanted him she needed to explore that world, too. She just hoped she had it in her.

  “What have you heard about me?” he asked quietly.

  “Was it a secret?”

  “To you.”

  “Huh.” Now that was a strange answer. Why did he need to hide anything from her? “Do you often find it necessary to keep secrets from me? Am I that intimidating?”

  That made him smile, the lines bracketing his mouth and fanning his eyes deepening. “Try innocent.”

  She scoffed at his answer. Why did he keep insisting that she was innocent? She wasn’t a virgin. Not even close! “I won’t be that innocent once I find a club.”

  “Katie . . .” The warning in his tone was unmistakable.

  She leaned closer, ignoring how her vest squeaked from the movement. “Why did you keep it from me?” she asked gently.

  He glared at her. “It didn’t concern you. It still doesn’t.”

  “Did you think I wouldn’t be able to handle it?” He might have a case there. A couple of years ago she might have been a little wary. “Or that I might find it too intriguing? Haven’t you considered the possibility that I’m a little kinky?”

  He closed his eyes and curled his hands into fists. “You are playing with fire.”

  Katie smiled. She knew that, and she was hoping that it would be his self-control that would go up in flames.

  “Well, if you aren’t going to tell me where the club is, I’ll find out from someone else,” she taunted.

  He opened his eyes and she saw he was back to being firmly in control. “No one will tell you. I’ll make sure of it,” he promised and headed for the door.

  “That’s not fair. It’s a free country,” she called after him.

  “I don’t care,” he said over his shoulder.

  “Of course, there are other . . . clubs around,” she said, swinging her legs casually, as if she had no idea she was pushing her luck. “I’ll find them on my own. I can easily look them up online. I hear there’s a swingers’—”

  Ryder whirled around and the savage look on his face made her shut her mouth. He marched over to her before she could say another word. “Forget it. You are never going to that place.”

  She silently agreed with him. She was a one-man woman, and once she got Ryder in her bed—if she got Ryder into bed—she was never going to share. But he didn’t need to know that information right now. Katie blinked innocently at him. “Don’t tell me you’ve been there, too.”

  “Cut the act. You’re throwing these outrageous plans around because you know how I’ll react.” He gripped her chin between his thumb and forefingers and made her look at him. “You can threaten all you want, but I know deep down you’re a good girl.”

  Good girl? Katie made a face. Had the guy been in a coma for the past year? She was doing everything she could to remove that label. She didn’t want to be a good girl. She wanted to be the kind of woman who could catch Ryder. “What makes you think they are just threats?”

  “I know you.” He let go of her chin, sounding very confident. “You won’t act on them.”

  She leaned back, resting her elbows on the table. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve changed over the past year. I’m going to live it up. Experiment. Have fun.”

  He stared at her as if he couldn’t help it. Her breasts felt heavy, her nipples tight, under his gaze. He jerked his head, shaking off the seductive spell she was trying to weave. “I swear, you will say anything to get my attention. You’re pushing me, Katie. Are you trying to punish me for leaving town?”

  “Don’t flatter yourself,” she muttered. Ryder was getting too close to the truth. She had the uncomfortable feeling that he understood her as well as she understood him.

  He avoided looking at any part of her body from the chin down. “Katie,” he said very seriously, “I want you to promise me you won’t go to these clubs.”

  Katie held his gaze. “No.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Katie.”

  “I can’t make that promise.” She paused to gather her courage. “My first choice is to explore them with you.”

  “No way.” His voice was cold and brutal.

  His immediate, automatic reaction hurt. “Then I have to go with my second option,” she said huskily. “I’ll just wait until you’re gone and explore this subculture all by myself.”

  “Think again.”

  “There is nothing you can do about it once you’re gone,” she pointed out, wanting him to know he didn’t have as much power over her as he’d like to believe.“Anyway, I don’t know why you think this concerns you. You have no reason to get all weird about it.”

  “I’m trying to protect you!” Frustration threaded his voice, making it husky.

  She knew that, and a part of her adored it, but did it mean he had to keep his hands to himself? “Is what I’m suggesting really that dangerous?”

  “Yes! It depends on the partner.”

  “Hmm.” She swung her legs again as she gave it some thought. “Interesting.
Who is considered a good partner?”

  He rubbed his hands over his face. “I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with you.”

  She sat up and watched him closely. “Is that your way of saying you don’t know?”

  He dropped his hands and met her gaze. “A good dominant treats his submissive like a rare treasure,” he answered with obvious reluctance. “He has to respect and adore his partner, but most of all, he needs to master self-control over himself.”