The Silent Sounds of Chaos

by Kristina Circelli

  Knowing she was caught, and unable to lie to her best friend, Snow allowed one slip of the truth. My sister Amelia is here with a date too.

  Yeah? Is she hot?

  Finn! Snow shook her head slightly. She’s my sister! Besides, she’s too old for you.

  She’s like six months older than you and we’re the same age. Maybe I should come over, sweep your sister off her feet and make sure your date isn’t too lame. Of course, you’d have to tell me where you live for that to happen. And your real name.

  Snow rolled her eyes, not surprised by the not-so-subtle reminder that she refused to give up such personal information. He’d been slipping those jabs in more and more lately but still she refused to budge. Thankfully Finn changed the subject before she had to think up a good retort.

  What’s his name?

  Hank.

  Hank? She knew by his tone he would follow the question up with something snarky. What kind of a name is Hank? Is he like fifty and balding?

  Snow huffed and glanced over at the boy who sat next to her. His green eyes were trained on the movie screen, some kind of action flick. He was cute, in a boy band sort of way, with his gelled hair and Ken-doll face and expensive clothes. Just the kind of boy her parents would approve of, even if she was only allowed to go on dates with other friends around.

  He’s cute, she finally defended her date, smiling at him when he sensed her staring and glanced over. She hoped he wouldn’t freak out by her attention being so intently on him, and that he wouldn’t notice she was trying to talk to someone in her mind. He has green eyes and brown hair, and a really great smile. He’s in my grade and is a golf player at school.

  Golf, Finn scoffed. Play a real sport.

  Shut up. He’s an awesome player and if he keeps playing this well he might even get a scholarship.

  Well color me impressed.

  You’re just jealous because you are terrible at all sports.

  He make a move on you?

  Frowning at the sudden change of topic, Snow moved her gaze to the screen, not really seeing the movie as she concentrated on the hand touching her own. Yes. We’re holding hands.

  Wow. Sexy.

  Shut up, she said again, and did her best to block him out the rest of the movie. By the time it was over she had no idea what they’d just watched, as she’d focused all her attention on drowning out Finn’s constant line of questioning about everything from his grades at school to whether he was a cat or dog person.

  Exiting the theater, Snow found herself in the back of the group with Hank at her side. Her friends were busy with talk of the movie mixed with school gossip, leaving her free to speak with her date in private as they entered the humid night air. They had a short walk to the diner next door for milkshakes, then their parents were picking them up.

  “I’m glad you came with me tonight,” Hank said, squeezing her hand. “Thanks for saying yes.”

  “Thank you for asking me.” Snow smiled sweetly, her grin faltering slightly when he stopped them on the sidewalk, the rest of their friends heading inside the diner. Butterflies swam in her stomach.

  I know that feeling. You think he’s gonna kiss you.

  Be quiet, Snow ordered Finn, annoyed that she’d let her defenses slip. Maybe I want him to.

  You don’t want Hank the Golfer to be your first kiss. He’ll probably try to lick you, all up and down your face like a dog.

  “Are you okay?” Hank asked.

  Snow realized she’d been making a face in response to Finn’s comment. “I’m fine. Just got distracted for a second. What were you saying?”

  Hank shuffled his feet, looking suddenly nervous. “Just that I think you look really pretty tonight, and … and I was wondering…”

  Yes.

  Yes what, weirdo?

  Crap. “Yes,” Snow said aloud, knowing what the nervous teenage boy in front of her was asking. She nearly jumped for joy when Hank moved closer, then closed her eyes when his lips touched hers. It was a gentle kiss, almost chaste, but one she felt in all her nerve endings.

  You’re kissing the prep, aren’t you?

  Is it like kissing a fish?

  You’re not doing a weird stiff-lip thing, are you?

  Hey, Snow-Glow. Stop ignoring me.

  So did he slip you the tongue?

  Stifling a choked gasp, Snow pulled back, ending the kiss. Her first kiss. She smiled at Hank when he took her hand, not seeming to notice what had distracted her.

  So, how was the tongue? Did it make you want the‒‒

  Finn! Snow cried in her head, a blush tinting her cheeks. Don’t say things like that.

  Prude.

  Pig.

  They laughed at one another silently. Snow followed Hank inside the diner, and gave him her full attention for the rest of the night.

  SOFT LIGHT RADIATED in an oval mirror, reflecting the face of a girl ready to take on the world. Snow stared at herself in the mirror, turning her head this way and that, making sure her hair and makeup were perfect. Golden curls touched her shoulders, complementing the blues of her dress. Her eyes sparkled, lightly dusted in shades of beige and smudged with just enough eyeliner to look intriguing.

  It was important she look pretty tonight. Not sexy, but pretty. After all, it wasn’t every night she went out to eat with hers and her boyfriend’s parents at one of the nicest restaurants in town. Though she’d met Hank’s folks many times, they’d never invited her or her family to join them for a meal, so she had to impress them if she wanted to be asked again.

  “Good as it’s gonna get,” Snow said to her reflection, excited for what the night would entail. Lavish night out with both sets of parents, then popcorn and a movie just with Hank in his decked-out entertainment room.

  “Are you ready?” her mother called up the stairs. “We need to leave in a few minutes.”

  “I’m coming!” she shouted back, annoyed at being rushed. “Just a couple minutes!”

  Pursing her lips, Snow quickly applied a coat of shiny gloss, already imagining Hank kissing her. He’d kissed her a lot since their first date at the movies two years ago. They’d never gone any further than that, though she knew he wanted to, and liked him even more knowing he was so patient with her when she wanted to wait.

  But she was seventeen now. While she still wasn’t ready to go all the way, she was thinking she might be willing to do a little more than just kiss. Maybe tonight, when they were alone watching the movie, she’d let his hands wander a little more than usual.

  Heat rushed through her, the feeling so strange—and so pleasant—that Snow dropped the tube of lip gloss. It clattered to the vanity as her hands gripped the edges, knees suddenly weak. She knew what this sensation was, recognized it from one of the few times she’d gathered up the courage to explore her own body, but this time it was different.

  This time, it wasn’t her own arousal she was feeling.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” she muttered, desperately trying to sever the connection to Finn, yet some part of her longing to hold on. She’d never felt it like this, so strong and unbridled, so ready to be unleashed. Bottom lip caught between her teeth, Snow found herself closing her eyes and giving in to his subconscious, breath shortening, grip tightening on the vanity.

  Finn, she whispered, hating how breathy her voice sounded even in her head, whatever you’re doing … you have to break the connection. I can feel it.

  Snow? His response was a question and a laugh all at once. You enjoying the ride?

  Shut up. It just happened.

  What did? Ain’t nothing happening here … yet. This is just the previews, baby. Getting ready for the show.

  She knew what that meant, how Finn felt in the moments leading up to another bout with a woman. But in the past she’d only felt brief moments of excitement, never this close, and she’d always been able to cut out of the moment. If the previews were what she was tuned into, she couldn’t imagine how this incredible sensation rushing through her w
ould feel in the throes of passion.

  Well just stop until I can break it, then. I have a date and can’t go feeling like this.

  Feeling like what? You getting sick? Maybe a little feverish? Got the chills? But they both knew the answer. He was messing with her now.

  “Time to go!” Her mother’s voice startled Snow out of the moment—though not out of her emotions. “You coming or what?”

  Despite herself, Snow giggled, torn between embarrassed and aroused. Mom just asked if I was coming or what.

  So you do know some naughty stuff. He sounded almost proud of her as he laughed. Now I want to know if you know the feel of a—

  Finn! Red colored her cheeks over the blush she’d just applied. Don’t you have any manners at all! And Hank is waiting for me so stop it!

  Don’t mind me, Snow-Glow. Amusement dripped in his reply. But if you’re gonna listen in during your date, at least keep quiet. Maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two.

  A wry grin crossed Finn’s face as he followed the mini-skirted girl currently holding his hand to the back of the club. Music pumped from the main floor, sending deep echoes of bass beneath their feet as they made their way to Charlie’s office. His boss would put a bullet in him if he ever found out what his teenage apprentice was about to do, but then again, Finn really didn’t give a shit.

  He’d been after this girl for years. It had taken him until he was fifteen to even get a date, and now, two years later, she was finally giving him everything else after one hell of a makeout session in his car. That tight eighteen-year-old body, that incredible mouth, even the delicate giggle she reserved only for moments she let her guard down. Not even Snow’s earlier intrusion—amusing as it had been—could break him out of this moment.

  He locked the door behind them, his hand not even leaving the doorknob before she was tugging at his shirt, lifting it over his head and running her warm fingers over tight abs. He obliged, tossing his jacket and shirt to the floor before grabbing her by the back of the neck and drawing her to him, capturing her mouth with his own. She tasted as sweet as she looked ‒‒ even if he knew this girl was anything but sweet.

  Before he could move lower, she pressed a hand to his chest and pushed him back a few inches. “Not so fast, loverboy.”

  Finn opened his mouth to protest, only to close it again around her fingers when she held out a pill, prolonging the gesture as a preview of what she was soon to enjoy. She let out a quiet moan that had his insides stirring, then popped a pill of her own and lifted up to her toes.

  “You’re in for a real treat now,” she whispered against his lips.

  “Just you wait,” he whispered back, surprised by her offering but also thrilled. They both came from junkie parents and typically turned their noses up at narcotics, but in this moment, he was perfectly willing to indulge in a little taste if it meant enhancing the moment with her.

  Already Finn felt the effects, his head swimming, the reds and oranges of the office swirling into a kaleidoscope of lust and heat. He saw only black hair and pale skin, emerald eyes staring deep into his own. He felt only her body against his, so soft and supple to all hard parts of him. Their breath left them in gasps as they stumbled back, Finn bracing himself above her as he pushed her up on the smooth oak desk. Skirt hiked up to her hip, legs wrapped around him—his girl was the perfect specimen.

  His lips moved to her throat, tasting the soft flesh there, his hands working their way up her arms to her breasts. He reveled in the feel of them cupped so fully in his hands. At the same time, her fingers worked at his jeans, slipping inside the zipper and gripping him, stroking, enough to drive him insane as he floated on the high.

  “I want your mouth on me, now,” she ordered, looking up at him with those striking green eyes that contrasted her creamy skin and pouty, naturally full lips.

  “As you wish,” he growled back, all but ripping her shirt away from her body. The rest of her clothes followed until she was naked in front of him, sprawled before his eyes on top of Charlie’s desk.

  Fuck, this chick is gorgeous, he thought as heated eyes scanned her up and down. His own body tightened in response to the vision before him, urging his hands to work faster as they removed his belt.

  “Like what you see?” she purred, fingers dipping beneath her naval, slowly working over her thighs.

  He tried, but couldn’t speak. Words didn’t matter anyway. All that mattered was his mouth on hers, their tongues a dance of want and need; their bodies pressed together, thin sheens of sweat coating them; the sound of their gasps, matching the beat of the bass; his hands on her body, tugging her down by the hips and flipping her so her ass was against him and he was fully primed to go.

  Damn, that ass, he said to himself as he appreciated the view before him, fingers working her into a fit of moans. I can’t wait to‒‒

  Gross, Finn!

  Snow’s voice snapped him out of the moment, startling Finn enough that he stumbled back a step.

  I really don’t want to hear this!

  Then get the hell out of my head! he snapped back, shaking his head to himself as he took his position behind the girl and stroked a hand down her back, slipping lower again, feeling her wet and ready for him as her legs spread.

  But Snow wasn’t done yet. You are seventeen years old! Quit acting like some forty-year-old porn star wannabe!

  Bite me, Snow. And get back to your date so I can get on mine.

  Is she at least pretty?

  There were so many retorts at the tip of his tongue, but none he could speak as the rolling sensation took him over, inviting him in deeper.

  “What the hell are you waiting for?”

  Finn blinked, surprised to realize he’d apparently just been standing there staring at her. He quickly composed himself, reaching out and caressing her, enjoying the way her expression changed from annoyance to ecstasy.

  She’s absolutely fucking gorgeous, he said to Snow, while at the same time replying, “Just getting you nice and ready.”

  Well, there’s that, at least. Have fun.

  He could almost feel her leaving his head, a palpable snap of a mutual bond. When he was sure he was alone with his thoughts once more, he gave his girl a seductive smirk that had her biting her bottom lip. That was all the motive he needed to give in to the trip, thrusting them both back into their lust-fueled haze.

  LATER, THEY LAY sprawled on the plush rug in front of the desk, still enjoying the effects of their sex-induced high. Out of breath, Finn stared up at the white-plaster ceiling, eyes tracing the swirls of paint in pattern with his fingers gliding over his girl’s bare back. Her leg was thrown over his, her warm body pressed against his side.

  His thoughts turned to Snow. Good, pure Snow, who would never let a man take her into a dark office with just one goal in mind, would never swallow a pill that would send her into oblivion. He admired her self-control in all things, even if he didn’t understand it, and longed for her sense of calmness that always seeped into his mind whenever he needed a break from the chaos of his life. In some strange, twisted way, his unexplainable connection with Snow was his true drug of choice.

  “Earth to loverboy,” came a sultry voice at his side. Finn stirred, blinking out of his haze to find emerald eyes staring down at him. “You better be thinking that hard about me.”

  A mischievous grin crossed his face. “Just remembering you bent over that desk.”

  “Classy,” she laughed while shoving his shoulder, before resting her head in its crook.

  Finn enjoyed the way she molded to him, as though she were made to fit him and only him. For a while he concentrated on memorizing her curves, the sound of her breath. The sentimental part of him hoped she would never forget him or this moment. It dawned on him then that he could, just maybe, make sure that didn’t happen.

  His jacket lay in a crumpled heap next to him. Finn reached over and fished through the pockets until his fingers touched cool steel. “Here.”

  The dar
k-haired vision at his side looked up at the object Finn held. It was a person, with a thin body of wire wrapped around wood, legs of twisted paperclips, and an oddly adorable head with tiny stone eyes. A giggle escaped when he made the figure walk up the arm she had draped across his chest, over her shoulder, and plant a kiss on her chin.

  “What is this?” she asked, taking the figure from him. “Did you make this?”

  “I was bored.” He said it nonchalantly, not wanting her to truly understand the meaning of his childhood hobby.

  She lifted herself so she was staring down at him. In one hand she held the figure, tiptoeing it along the muscles lining his abdomen. “You have an interesting way of getting rid of said boredom. Can I keep him?”

  “I made him for you.” Finn regretted the words as soon as they were spoken, hating how vulnerable they made him sound. He was considering saying something rude to counteract the sentiment when she suddenly leapt to her feet.

  “Come on. Charlie’ll kill us if he finds us in here.”

  She was giving him the out he wanted, and he could have loved her for it. Finn mimicked her move and rose, finding his clothes in the dimly lit office, not realizing he was being watched until he heard, “So, I came by your place the other night and you weren’t there. Is there some chick I’m gonna have to kick in the crotch?”

  With a roll of his eyes, Finn pulled his shirt over his head. “No one but you, sexy.” He tugged her to him, gripping her still-bare ass to make her laugh. “Besides, I don’t live there anymore. I only stop by to check on Tommy.”

  The response silenced her, so much so that Finn glanced up to find her staring at him with an expression mixed with worry and confusion. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “What do you mean, you don’t live there anymore?”

  “I got my own place.”

  “When?”

  Exasperated, Finn tugged on his jeans and fastened the belt before moving on to his shoes. “I don’t tell you everything, babe. It just happened. I needed to get out of there and be on my own.”

  She continued to stare at him, dark hair falling in messy waves around her face, then seemed to give up on whatever internal argument she was having with herself. “So,” she began, sidling up to him, “where is this new place?”