When I Know Your Name

by Gemma M. Lawrence

  The faint sound of feet padding through the apartment interrupted her thoughts.

  ‘I never appreciated how the sound of the river against the urban landscape could be so soothing,’ she said as she shielded her eyes from the sun to watch Ethan join her.

  ‘I suppose it is,’ he said, standing by her side, leaning against the railings too.

  ‘It definitely is,’ she said with a sigh. ‘Peace in all the chaos.’

  She caught him watching. ‘What?’

  ‘Everything okay? You looked deep in thought there.’

  ‘I don’t know,’ she said looking out over the river. ‘Meeting my parents today has brought everything to the surface. All the bad stuff. My parents, my brother, my entire dysfunctional family.’

  ‘You call it dysfunctional, I call it borderline psychopathic.’

  She smirked and nudged him. ‘Well, if we’re going to get brutal about it, okay, but I have mentioned this to you before. You have been warned.’

  ‘Can’t argue with that.’

  ‘My father dominates the family. He makes the rules that we all have to abide by and God forbid anyone who breaks them. And now, my brother seems to be following in his footsteps. I’m sure he hates me and I really don’t know why. He always has. I could bore you with stories from our childhood, stories that from the outside appear to be trivial sibling rivalry, but to me they were so much more sinister than that. And now, weeks after my release, I’ve had nothing from him. Nothing at all. Maybe it’s because we’re so different, who knows. Maybe he thinks I’m weak.’

  Ethan brushed his hand over hers. ‘You’re far from weak.’

  ‘Then there’s my mother,’ she continued. ‘The mouse who is too frightened to rock the boat, and finally there’s me, on the outside of all of it. I’d accepted that a long time ago, and don’t get me wrong, it’s no big deal. You can’t choose your family, and my life is full of wonderful people who I adore.’

  His eyes found hers and he smiled. ‘Adore?’

  She smiled back. ‘Yes, so I’m not in need of any pity. But it’s just this… my father’s refusal to pay the ransom, it makes me feel so… abandoned. And their hurry to brush everything under the carpet now that it’s over, to move on under a veneer of normality – whatever that is – is just so strange. So cold. Could that be motive?’ She sighed. ‘You already know this, I’m sure, that I work at the British Museum?’ His face gave away that yes, he was well aware.

  ‘It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. I spent as much time as possible at the museum as a child, fascinated by different civilisations and how they lived, how they loved their families and friends. The social order of things. I studied if it was so greatly different from ours. Anyway, the ancients: the Greeks and the Romans, do you know what they used to do to unwanted children?’

  He shook his head. It didn’t matter what he knew, just that she needed to express herself.

  ‘They used to “expose” them,’ she explained. ‘They literally left them outside, exposed and at the mercy of the elements if they were going to be a burden on the family. Left outside to die, bundled up, in the street. Especially girls. Girls were always unwanted, boys the expected heirs. And girls came with the expense of a dowry, you see, so it was downhill all the way for us females. Sometimes there was salvation though. Sometimes the parents would try to sell them or perhaps a childless couple would take them.’ She shrugged. ‘It was an awful, terrible thing to do, but it was their culture. It was what they did. Another mouth to feed was a serious consideration.’ She was momentarily lost in her knowledge and the safety and grounding it provided. ‘They did what they did for a reason. But I can’t seem to get past the fact that my parents exposed me and left me for dead, and all for what? This wasn’t about culture, the prejudice of gender or the worry of another mouth to feed. It was just about money, protecting their wealth.’

  ‘And how does that make you feel?’ he asked.

  She looked at him, understanding where he was going with this. ‘Like I owe them nothing. Particularly my loyalty.’

  He nodded. ‘So let me widen the search to include your parents.’

  She considered it and something flipped in her mind. A switch, replacing the sadness with a strange force that began to take over and spread: a new synapse firing in her brain, sending waves through her body and bloodstream like a virus, infecting her. She liked the feeling, found strength from it, and discovered a sense of control in her own life again that had been lacking for so long.

  ‘Yes, okay,’ she said, her voice low but unwavering, as was her eye contact. ‘Include my parents and brother in your search now. However unpalatable, I need to know everything.’

  He faced her, satisfied with her answer, a telling smile on his lips. ‘You’re sure?’

  ‘Completely.’

  Elena decided on something there and then: that from now on, people would be punished for mistreating her. No more was she the passive bystander in her own life. She was taking charge, stronger now and had the talents of a man who did things differently – a merchant of secrets – and that meant so did she. Knowledge would be her new power, and Ethan would get it for her. He’d bring her the world if she asked for it. And she would, regardless of how long it would take. She would put her faith in the man opposite her, watching her intently now.

  ‘Welcome to my world, Elena,’ he said. ‘Let me show you more.’

  He took her by the hand and led her indoors.

  Ethan led Elena back into the living room and she followed, empowered with a strength to face whatever lay ahead. She walked with him towards his office, her hand in his, until they were standing in front of the many computers.

  ‘You’re fully on board now,’ he said, pulling up a chair. ‘I can see it.’

  ‘So?’

  ‘So I suggest we take things up a notch. Up the stakes a little bit.’

  ‘Tell me,’ she said, taking a seat.

  Ethan shuffled wires and boxes about on his cluttered office desk, before settling on a small chrome stick, the size of his thumb. ‘Ah, here it is. The very familiar flashdrive.’

  ‘Yep, I’ve seen one of those before.’

  ‘I’m sure you have,’ he said. ‘And at first glance my flashdrive looks pretty much like yours or any other, but it’s not.’

  She smiled. ‘Of course it isn’t,’ she said, taking the small metal bar from his grasp to inspect it.

  ‘No, because with this little gem, while it’s plugged into a device, it’s making a helpful little backup of all the laptop’s documents, passwords, internet history and cookies. Without anyone ever knowing. It’ll give me everything I need to see all the recent activity. Very simple, and very effective.’

  She glanced up at him. ‘I thought you ate cookies.’

  He raised an eyebrow, finding the humour.

  She continued to twist the small metal object between her fingers, watching him as he watched her hands move. ‘I assumed you’d check everyone out from all your computers here,’ she said. ‘And via that email.’

  ‘Yes, everyone will obviously be covered in my global search, but we need some immediate results and this will get them for us.’

  ‘So you want me to sneak around.’

  He shrugged. ‘Your parents will expect another visit soon and you’re going to be tying up some loose ends with Adam and Charlotte, yes? So this will be a good opportunity to look at their home systems to see what they may be hiding, if anything. Maybe we can kill three birds with one stone. Do you think you could do that?’

  She stared at him, understanding that this could plunge her into a darkness she may never resurface from. She placed the flashdrive on the desk. ‘I’m not including Charlotte.’

  ‘We can’t exclude anyone at this point.’

  ‘No. Charlotte doesn’t come into this. She doesn’t deserve this.’

  He faced her, his eyes demanding. ‘How do you know?’

  ‘She’s my friend, Ethan, that’s why,’ she rep
lied, ignoring his reaction. She wouldn’t back down on this. ‘Look, I’m on board to search my family, that’s fine. They have it coming. And the same with Adam, that’s fine too. But none of my friends deserve this kind of invasion. There’s no way they’d be involved.’

  ‘Well, I’ll pick it up then,’ he said. ‘From here. I won’t be excluding anyone.’

  She blew out a sigh. ‘Fine, I can’t stop you, but I can’t be part of it.’

  ‘Fine. I get it,’ he said, his expression softening. ‘Maybe I was asking too much too soon.’

  She didn’t reply.

  ‘So, let’s get back to this,’ he continued. ‘If you can get creative enough to gain access to any laptops lying around, this will be perfect. Plug it in and let it do its thing.’

  ‘I’m sure I’ll find a way,’ she said. ‘But what if there are problems? What if I don’t get a chance to do it, or I’m not left alone for long enough?’

  ‘Ultimately, it won’t matter, but I’m sure you can think of something. Be creative.’

  She sat back. ‘Leave it with me.’

  ‘Hmm, you’re learning well. I like it,’ he said.

  ‘I’ve had a good teacher.’

  ‘Indeed you have,’ he said checking the screens. ‘Is there anyone else that we should look at within your immediate family?’

  Her mind went back to her conversation with her father and she thought of one person in particular. ‘My Uncle Edmond, my father’s brother.’

  He nodded. ‘I’m aware of him.’

  ‘He’s one creepy guy. Always has been. He mainly keeps himself to himself on the family farm in Somerset, so I rarely see him and that’s fine by me. But there’s something my father said, about his reaction during my abduction.’

  ‘What’s that?’

  ‘He wanted my father to delay, to consider refusing to pay the ransom.’

  ‘Did he now?’

  ‘Yes, he thought they’d be playing into the captors’ hands. Giving them too much control, especially as I might be killed anyway.’

  ‘I see. Another facet of your strange and intriguing family.’

  ‘I know. I’ve never been a fan of him with his beady little eyes, watching everyone, but he’s always seemed harmless enough. He likes to come to London every now and then. Always gets fed well at my parents’ house. He scoots between theirs and a couple of old-style gentlemen’s clubs in town.’

  ‘Leave that with me,’ he said. ‘He’ll go to the top of the list for now. And I think I’d like to meet this bunch of people you call your family. And soon.’

  ‘Well, that’s a hard no,’ she said assertively, as the thought of Ethan and her family in the same room together left her with a horrible sense of dread. ‘Investigating them is one thing, but meeting them? No way. Too dangerous.’

  ‘Hmm, maybe,’ he said with a telling glint in his eye. ‘But fun.’

  ‘For me or you?’

  ‘Me, obviously,’ he said, giving her a wink.

  She couldn’t mask the sound of laughter that spilled from her lips. She liked the playful Ethan. ‘You’re a bad man.’

  ‘I’ve never pretended otherwise, Elena,’ he said with a mix of humour and deadly seriousness. ‘So, who do you want to visit first?’

  She sighed as she considered it. Neither option of her family or Adam was an appealing one. ‘Adam, I think. Let’s get that over with. It’s not going to be an easy conversation to have.’

  Ethan nodded. ‘Interesting. I see you’re up for this more than I thought, tackling the most awkward situation first. Fair play.’

  ‘I’m glad I surprise you,’ she said with a hint of sarcasm.

  ‘Baby, you surprised me the day I first met you.’

  She smiled and nudged his leg with her foot.

  He soon became lost in the information on the computer screen but glanced at her and smiled when she continued to watch him. ‘Okay. Can hear you thinking again. What is it?’

  ‘It’s a nice place you have here.’

  ‘Thanks,’ he said vaguely as he worked.

  She rose from her chair, went to the pictures on the wall and studied them. The light falling against the canvas almost brought them to life. She turned to him. ‘Hmm. I just wondered if, you know…’ she cleared her throat, ‘… you had anyone else in your life, or…’

  ‘There are no other women, Elena,’ he said, keeping his eyes on his screens. ‘Only you.’

  ‘Well, it’s not a problem or anything,’ she said, attempting a blasé attitude, despite her face flushing as his words spoke to her body as well as her mind. ‘I mean, you and me, we’re not… this doesn’t have to be… well, anyway… I just wondered.’

  ‘Okay,’ he said, chuckling. ‘Whatever you say.’

  She paced the room, a lightness within her from the instant relief of knowing she was the only one. Like Ethan, she too didn’t want to share.

  He continued working and she remained silent for as long as possible, until she could bear it no longer. ‘But now we’re here,’ she ventured, going back to her chair, leaning towards him a little, ‘maybe you could share a bit more about your life?’

  ‘Well, I have a brother,’ he began. ‘Oliver. He lives in France. He’s an artist and couldn’t be more stereotypical. You know the type, living a torturous existence, always searching for his muse. But I make sure he’s okay financially, so he’s also an irritatingly happy son of a bitch.’

  Elena saw that while he may have wanted to express casual indifference, the affection he felt towards his sibling shone through anyway. ‘How often do you see him?’

  ‘When I can. I go over there, spend a couple of months with him until we can’t bear the sight of each other.’

  ‘And your parents?’

  ‘My parents? Well, they died 20 years ago,’ he said, stopping what he was doing to face her. ‘Car accident.’

  The curveball. She reached out and placed a hand on his arm. ‘I’m so sorry.’

  ‘It’s fine. It was a long time ago.’

  ‘Do you want to tell me about it?’

  ‘No. There’s no need. They’re gone and it was very sad, but that’s all there is to it.’

  She nodded and decided not to pursue it. She’d find out what happened on that score another time. Smiling, she changed tack. ‘Friends?’

  The humour in his eyes assured her that he was happy to continue. ‘Yes, of course. My line of business may make me look like an outcast of society, but I’m not. Nor am I a hermit or anything. I see my friends often enough.’

  ‘But this job of yours, has it been worth it?’

  He sighed. ‘No, not always, but I’ve been living this way for so many years, I let myself become locked into it.’ He adjusted in his seat and leant towards her. ‘But now I have something else to occupy my time. Something much more rewarding.’

  ‘A nice little arrangement,’ she said as she tilted towards him too.

  ‘A mutual agreement,’ he replied.

  Chapter 21

  Ethan and Elena sat in silence for most of the short journey to Adam’s. The morning had been tied up with Ethan showing her some basic self-defence. The condition on which he would allow her to leave his side.

  The instructions were clear – stay aware of everyone. Don’t get caught wondering who’s behind you. Look around. She remembered the feel of his arms wrapped around her as he explained what to do if someone jumped her from behind. How important it was to turn fear into a rage; a power. He had calmed her fears of not being able to fend off an attacker by explaining that it wasn’t about studying for a black-belt in Taekwondo, but targeting vulnerable areas on an attacker’s body – a punch to the face, or a knee to the groin. Anything to disable the attacker for long enough to get away.

  Ethan pulled up at a safe distance from Adam’s building and switched off the engine. The paved pedestrian area in front of the building, dotted with ornamental trees, was almost deserted, only a handful of people going about their weekend business.
She couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or bad, but she tried to put it out of her mind and focus on what she needed to do. But she was jittery and worked hard to control the nerves that raced.

  ‘You okay?’ he asked.

  She nodded. She wouldn’t share that she wanted to back out of this idea, to be taken home again where she was safe.

  ‘There’s some admin you need to know,’ he said as he faced her, serious now. ‘I’ve set a tracking app on your phone, so I know exactly where you are at all times. But I also want you to wear this,’ he said as he handed her a small silicone square. ‘It’s a GPS tracking device. Clip it to your clothing but keep it hidden.’

  She nodded, understanding. ‘Of course,’ she said tucking it into her dress, fastening it to her bra. ‘I’ll make sure it stays secure.’

  ‘Good. I’ll wait for you here. I’ve got a good sight of the entrance. I’m not too far away, and if he tries anything funny, you get yourself out of there immediately. If you can’t do that then get somewhere safe, the bathroom for example, where you can lock the door. Then, you call me.’

  ‘Oh, I will, no doubt about that.’

  He handed her the flashdrive. ‘Ready?’

  ‘As I’ll ever be.’

  She leant forward in her seat, kissed him and got out of the car.

  Walking across the paving towards the glass-fronted building, she glanced over her shoulder to check that Ethan was still there, watching. The air was humid, a sign of the heat that would fill the day ahead, and she was glad of her cool linen dress.

  Once inside the lobby, she walked through the reception area and past the long oblong desk, a continuous curve of cream marble.

  ‘Good morning, Elena,’ the concierge said brightly, recognising her.

  ‘Good morning,’ she replied with a smile, masking her anxiety. She had no idea what she was walking into and felt alone in the truest sense. Her mind raced. Would Adam be hostile? Was what she’d come to say expected? And most importantly, would she be safe in his company?