Second Thoughts

by Jade Winters

  Eli’s body trembled with rage just being in the same room as him. She had to remain calm, she told herself as she took an extra cup off the hook and put it beside her own.

  Scott leaned back against the worktop and popped a broken piece of digestive in his mouth. “Do you want one?” he asked out stretching his hand towards her with the biscuits.

  Eli gave him a sideward glance and shook her head. She had to tell him without getting hysterical that he needed to move his stuff into one of the spare rooms. But she didn’t trust herself to speak. It felt as if he was mocking her, standing there eating biscuits as if nothing had happened.

  She drew a deep breath. “Scott, you’re going to have to sleep in another room until we get this situation sorted.”

  “Oh come off it, Eli. Don’t you think that’s going a bit far?”

  She turned to him. “How would you feel if the boot was on the other foot? That you just found out that I had slept with your father and there was a possibility that your brother was my son.”

  “Look, Eli, I’m not saying this hasn’t come as a shock to you, but give me some leeway here. Your mum was just as much to blame as I was. I didn’t force her into anything.”

  “No, I bet you didn’t. I suppose you were just a shoulder to cry on. Pretty much how you and I got together.”

  “Believe what you want. But if you think I’m going to be living here under a dark shadow for something that happened twenty-five years ago, you’ve got another thing coming. I had enough of this shit with my wife. I’m not going through it again.”

  He put the biscuits back in the cupboard and slammed the door.

  “Where are you going?” she called after him, panic rising within her as she heard his feet stomping up the stairs.

  “I’m leaving. That’s what you want isn’t it?” he shouted back at her.

  She followed him upstairs to their bedroom and watched as he began to pack. Her bravado soon vanished as fear gripped her. The realisation that she could soon be alone hit her hard. That was something she wouldn’t be able to bear again.

  She walked to him, put her arms around his waist and rested her head against his back.

  “I’m sorry,” she said quietly.

  They had come through tougher things than this so what was to stop them doing it again?

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Melissa sat opposite Bettina at the dining table in silence, using her fork to move the pasta around her plate. She knew she was acting like a broody teenager but had never been able to eat when she was feeling anxious. She glanced up at Bettina who didn’t seem to be having any problems at all. She had been planning to spend the night in the spare room watching Netflix movies, but Bettina had demanded Melissa go down to eat at the table. Despite not wanting to be within a foot of Bettina, she obeyed her order like a child.

  “So, are you going to give me the silent treatment all night then?” Bettina asked as she mopped up the pasta sauce with a piece of bread.

  “I’m not giving you anything. I didn’t realise talking was mandatory in your house. ” She pushed her plate away.

  “You’re behaving like a child, Melissa.”

  Melissa looked at her in astonishment. She couldn’t believe the gall of her. She was acting like a child because she was upset about her dishonesty. If she didn’t feel so depressed about the situation she would have laughed.

  “Look, let’s be practical about this. All of this nonsense with your ex happened years ago. Why are you letting it interfere in our lives now? You’re happy aren’t you?”

  Nonsense! She was too stunned to reply. But then again that was typical of Bettina when she was on the defence – belittle her and make her think her concerns were of no worth.

  Bettina cleared her throat. “Actually, I think the main issue here is you sneaking off behind my back to see your ex.” She stood and began clearing the plates away. “Wouldn’t you say?”

  Melissa’s features contorted in shock. “I didn’t sneak anywhere and no, that’s not the main issue. The main issue is that you lied to me.”

  “And like I said it was for your own good.” Her tone turned reasonable. “Look, we’re getting married soon. Are you going to let everyone down because of a silly crush you had on someone years ago. On a woman who left you to concentrate on her career. I’m not the bad guy here, she is. I don’t know what nonsense she told you but don’t start getting any romantic notions she came back to save you.”

  Uncertainty crept into her mind. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Yes, I do, Melissa. I have more life experience than you and I know what people are capable of. On the other hand, you’re very gullible and trusting.”

  She shot Bettina a look. “Obviously.”

  “I’m not going to keep going round in circles with you. Are we going to be able to move on from this or not?” Bettina asked, looking down at her questioningly.

  Melissa remained silent. What other choice did she have? The wedding venue was booked, the invitations had been sent. She couldn’t pull out now. She would never be able to live down the shame. Begrudgingly she nodded her head.

  “And having the baby?”

  Melissa took a deep breath and released it slowly. “Yes.”

  “Good,” Bettina said brightly as she slapped her hands together. “Let’s put all this behind us. I don’t see the point in letting something that happened years ago spoil our happiness now.”

  Bettina may not have seen the point, but if it wasn’t for her interference, she very much doubted she would be sitting there right now.

  Bettina’s face broke out into a smile as she sat back down at the table. “Sara’s actually done us a favour by returning. Everything’s out in the open. Nothing can come between us now.”

  I hope not Bettina, I really do. “I’m going to watch TV.”

  “Okay, I’ll be through once I’ve cleaned the kitchen.”

  Melissa made her way to the living room and dropped onto the sofa, squeezing her eyes shut. She tried to block out images of Sara being within arm’s reach again after so many years and the yearning her touch had elicited. She couldn’t believe that she had chosen to stay with Bettina and was going to walk away from the woman she loved again.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Sharp gusts of wind blew against the large window pane of the two-tiered cruise boat as it sailed past the Houses of Parliament. Sara and Faye sat on the lower deck of the boat. A tall, wiry waitress stopped by their seats, lowering her silver tray to offer canapés. Both women declined with a smile and a shake of the head.

  Sara frowned as she put her mobile phone back in her pocket. She glanced up to find Faye staring at her with concern.

  “You look like you’ve just heard some bad news,” Faye said, eyeing her speculatively.

  “You could say that.”

  Faye raised her eyebrows. “Melissa?”

  “How could you tell?”

  “’Cause I know you and the fact that Melissa is the only person on this planet who affects your emotions.” She clamped her hand on Sara’s arm. “Let me guess, all is forgiven on the home front and she’s still going ahead with marrying Bettina despite her being a sly bitch?”

  “Yep. You got it in one.”

  Sara had been so sure that Melissa was going to leave Bettina. In fact she would have bet her life on it. How could she have been so wrong?

  Faye scrunched her face up, anger dwelling in her eyes. “What a joke. I can’t believe that scheming conniving woman got away with it. You should have come to me at the time; I would have spoken to Melissa for you.”

  “You weren’t speaking to me either. If I recall, the last thing you said to me was that you hope I rot in hell.”

  Faye looked away sheepishly. “Um, well, I was pissed off at the time. You had just broken my best friend’s heart.”

  “I know, and I never blamed you for being angry.”

  Faye twisted around in her seat to face her. “So
what are you going to do now?”

  Sara shrugged slightly. “I don’t know.”

  “Sara, if Melissa marries Bettina, it’s going to be the biggest mistake of her life,” Faye said, crossing one leg over the other.

  Sara shrugged uneasily. “What can I do? I’ve told her how I feel. The ball’s in her court. I can’t force her to leave Bettina for me.”

  “So that’s it. You’re just going to give up? One set back and it’s over?”

  Melissa brought her flute of champagne to her lips as she took in the view of Tower Bridge. “Faye, if you know of any way for me to win her back, I’m all ears.” She tilted the glass and drank from it. “But from what I know of Melissa, once she’s made up her mind about something, that’s it.”

  Faye slapped her knee in frustration. “I’m going to have another word with her, even if you won’t.”

  “And what do you think that’s going to do? If you piss her off enough she’ll just back away from you and you’ll end up losing your friendship.”

  Faye shrugged carelessly. “Melissa would never do that.”

  “That’s what I thought when I told her I was going to America,” she said wryly. “I thought she’d be really happy for me and encourage me to go after my dream. Never in a million years did I think she’d react the way she did.”

  They sat in a comfortable silence for a while before Sara spoke again. “So what’s Bettina like?”

  Faye rubbed her earlobe. “Stable. Totally unruffled. Boring!”

  “Do you get on with her?”

  “As well as can be. But I don’t think she likes me that much. She just about puts up with me, if I’m honest. She thinks I’m a bad influence on Melissa.”

  “And are you?”

  “Depends what you class as bad,” she said glumly. “Letting yourself go and having a good time isn’t bad in my book, but Bettina seems to think it is. She thinks Melissa should spend all her time either working or doing something boring with her like planting flowers or visiting art galleries. I wouldn’t be surprised if she made her sit through episodes of the Archers every Sunday.”

  Sara laughed. “Sounds depressing. If it’s that bad, why does Melissa stay with her?”

  Faye shrugged. “That’s what I’ve been asking myself these past few months. The only answer I can come up with is security.”

  “Security?”

  “Let’s face it, she hasn’t had much of it in her life. As much as she loved her mum, they weren’t exactly close. Her dying when she did never gave them a chance to get closer as adults. I think Melissa sees Bettina as some kind of mother figure, and believe me, Bettina relishes the role.”

  “That sounds kind of weird but it’s understandable.”

  Faye frowned. “If that’s the kind of life Melissa wants, that’s up to her. I wouldn’t touch it with a barge pole myself. It’s all so regimented; like living your life in a straitjacket.”

  Sara stretched her legs out in front of her. “Maybe that’s what she wants now.”

  Faye planted her hand on Sara’s shoulder. “No, it’s not. I know she wants you, Sara, she’s just too bloody pig-headed to admit it.”

  Sara looked down at the bubbly liquid in her glass, avoiding Faye’s gaze. “Like I said, there’s nothing more I can do.” For the first time in her life, she felt defeated. The last thing she wanted to do was put pressure on Melissa and make her unhappy. She’d made her choice and she was going to have to accept it.

  “Do you fancy meeting up for a coffee tomorrow?”

  “Sure. Where abouts?”

  Faye turned and smiled at her sweetly. “At Melissa’s coffee shop of course.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Bridal accessories was busy for a Tuesday morning. Women rushed up and down the aisles like manic ants, taking advantage of the fifty percent off sale. To Melissa, Bettina looked as if she was totally oblivious to the mayhem that was going on in the outer world as she removed products from the shelves and replaced them with a look of disdain on her face.

  Melissa dragged her feet behind her; she was exhausted having barely slept a wink all night. She had tossed and turned, wondering if she had really made the right decision. Her head said she had but her heart was rebelling. It knew who it wanted and that person wasn’t Bettina.

  “What do you think of this?” Bettina held up a silver charm bracelet for Melissa to see.

  Melissa pulled her face. “It’s a bit boring isn’t it?”

  “Do you think?” She casually inspected the little trinkets hanging on it.

  “Can you really imagine Faye wearing one of those?”

  Bettina frowned. “Faye isn’t our only bridesmaid you know; we do have four of them.”

  Melissa ignored her comment. Though she was being mindful not to upset her in any way, a dam had been opened and questions she’d never asked before were now flooding her mind. What if Faye was right about Bettina wanting to control every aspect of her life? When she really thought about it, Bettina’s fingerprint was on all the major decisions she had made since they had known each other. From the type of business she ran to where the business was situated, even down to the date of the wedding. Was Scott also discreetly warning her about Bettina being controlling? It wasn’t that she hadn’t wanted to help organise the wedding, it was Bettina who had relegated her to the side-line without giving her a choice.

  “How about this?” Melissa asked deliberately picking the most tacky thing she could find – a pair of stress boobs with delightful pink nipples. “Could you imagine the look on your step-mum’s face if the girls opened these up in front of her?” Melissa laughed loudly. “Or these After Dinner Nipples? How about this Ring for a Shag Bell, for Faye.” She shook the wooden holder on the silver bell.

  “Put them down, Melissa, and stop acting like a child. I have enough on my mind as it is.”

  Melissa’s face fell. “You’re right. I shouldn’t be messing about. Sorry...Oh crap.” Melissa withdrew her vibrating phone from her pocket and quickly read the message. “Faye’s arrived early for our coffee date.”

  Bettina rolled her eyes. “And I suppose you want to get out of this shopping trip.”

  “I’m obviously no use at picking gifts; can’t I meet you in a little while?” She replaced the items on the shelf.

  “No, you’re right. I’ll manage better by myself anyway.”

  “Why don’t you stop by after you’ve finished and join us for a coffee?” She knew Bettina would decline the invitation, but she asked to make a point more to herself than anything else. The more she scrutinised their relationship the more one-sided it became. The fact was that they always socialised with Bettina’s friends. Melissa wasn’t overly fond of some of her friends but tolerated them because it was important to Bettina. It was funny how she never wanted to reciprocate.

  Bettina grimaced. “A coffee with Faye is not what I need right now.”

  “I don’t understand what your beef is with her. She always tries her hardest to be friendly with you.”

  “Maybe that’s the problem, Melissa. She tries too hard.”

  Melissa gave a slight shake of her head before brushing past her and heading towards the exit.

  ***

  Twenty minutes later Melissa pushed open the door to her rustic, shabby chic cafe. Exposed brickwork with large comfortable leather sofas scattered throughout made it a popular hangout for people who wanted to chill out in a stress-free environment. Though it was only midday, the place was already filling up with the office crowd.

  “Hey, Mel! Over here.”

  She looked in the direction of Faye’s voice. Faye and Sara. She nodded in acknowledgement and hurried behind the counter first, pretending to be looking for something. It was more to buy time than anything else. She had to get a hold of herself. What the hell did Sara think she was playing at? No longer able to keep up the charade of looking busy, she weaved her way to their table.

  Sara looked up at her and flashed a friendly smile. “
Hi, Missy.”

  Melissa frowned as she lowered herself onto the seat. She wished Sara would stop calling her that. It reminded her too much of a time and place she was trying so hard to forget. “Sara.”

  “So Bettina let you off the lead,” Faye teased.

  Melissa’s eyebrows shot up as she gave her a stern look to which Faye immediately held up both hands in surrender. “I’m just kidding. Blimey, you’re touchy today.” She grinned at her. “I brought Sara to see your little empire.”

  Sara glanced around the room. “It’s really cool, Missy. I love it. Did you design it yourself?”

  “Yes, with Bettina’s help.”

  “You did the majority of the design though.” Faye settled back in her seat, drumming her fingers on the edge of the table. Faye increased the tempo of the beat she was playing. “So did you get your stuff sorted today?”

  Melissa looked down at Faye’s fingers then up to her face. “A little. I nearly got you a shag bell and some stress titties.”

  Sara burst out laughing. “They sound like cool gifts. Where do they sell them? I think I’ll take some home with me to give my friends. They’d love them.”

  That was another thing Sara had over Bettina, she was light-hearted and easy-going. It didn’t bode well that she was now finding herself comparing them both every time she thought of either of them. “They sell them in the bridal shop.”

  “So why didn’t you get them, or need I ask?” Faye asked.

  “Bettina didn’t think they were appropriate.”

  Faye slapped the table. “I bet she didn’t. She’s such a killjoy.”

  “No, she isn’t. She just didn’t think our guests would see the humour in them.” Why am I defending her? Yes, she is a bloody killjoy.

  Faye’s chair scraped the floor as she pushed it back. “I need to use the loo. No talking about me now.” She stood up and rubbed Sara’s arm as she passed her.